Work Text:
Caelen was out for a grocery run. The other boys have been complaining about their recent lack of snacks and last night they were stuck with take-out for dinner because the remainder of the stuff in the fridge went bad last night.
Usually he’d be out with at least one other person, but his usual person (Shiki) was too tired and the others either didn’t want to or were streaming. The hybrid was fine being by himself, he’d just rather have some help carrying at least a dozen bags of groceries. And to protect him from nosy strangers.
Grocery runs were something he particularly dislikes, due to the other people in the store outright staring at his extra appendages. Mostly the children gawking at his tail as it swished around lazily, or his ears flicking whenever the air shifted around them. Sure, hybrids weren’t all that common around the area, at least don’t make a big show about it. He could wear a hat and a jacket to cover them, but it was way too hot for his liking to add more layers.
Such as right now. A lady in those stupidly coloured floral patterned dress was doing double-takes at him while he was in the pasta aisle. Her child was also staring, basically being two things that he hates. The damned child was even bold enough to come closer to continue to inspect his tail. Just as Caelen was about to raise it away from his hand, the child grabbed a handful of fur.
“OW-!” Caelen’s tail was still held in the child’s hand, twitching and trying to escape the sticky fingers. The lady finally came over to pull the child back to her side, along with a bunch of fur from his poor tail. They didn’t even apologise. Caelen simply sighs and continues, keeping his tail higher up from a small child’s reach.
Just before he checked out, there was a teen girl walking towards him. She came up close just to peek at his ears, before asking right in them. “Are those real?” “Yeah, they are,” he winces. His ears fold back on instinct, but were stopped when her hands ruffled at the fur, even going as far as to blow on them. He smacked her hands away, before quickly leaving. He could hear her complaining, about being rude. Haha, rude…
On the way back, a mother with a baby was walking by, and the mother pointed at him. He could hear her whispering to the baby, ‘dog’, as if he was one of those cartooned animals for kids to learn the alphabet. He’s getting sick of this, and tried to get home as fast as he could.
Sure, being a canine hybrid is cool and all. Having enhanced hearing and smell, a tail that practically broadcasting his feelings to the people around him, and ears that always stick out. That also unfortunately meant he was treated differently. More like an animal than to a human.
People didn’t care if he was touched, poked, basically violated of his personal space for their curiosity. Sometimes he’d wish that he was a normal human, with normal ears and no tail. But that meant if he was, he’d never be in the police force, and he’d never have met the others. Hiding it was easy, but also made him doubt who he really was. What he was born as and what he could have been.
“I’m home.” Caelen says to no one. While packing away the groceries, he could hear footsteps coming down into the kitchen. “Hey pup.” Ash ruffled the hair between his ears on the way to grab some snacks.
The hybrid turned around, snarling. He startled the god, nearly making him drop the chips. “I’m not a fucking animal okay!?” “Woah. Okay, okay. Chill.” Ash left in confusion. The words lingered in Caelen’s mind. He said it as if he was coaxing an actual dog to calm down, that same condescending tone people would usually use to a being that cannot understand them.
That’s all he was in the end. An animal. Something people could look at and not care that he is a living being. A creature that should only exist when they want him to. A toy to be played with. And he’s sick of it.
He tried to calm down. Packing the groceries, pacing around the living room, talking to himself. Nothing.
He’s just some fucking animal. A thing. A life that can easily be taken away.
Caelen looks at his own hands. Those claws at the tips of each finger dig into the skin of his arms, drawing jagged red lines and beading blood along the trails. His breathing slowly becomes ragged, harsh and raspy. His ears flatten back, as if ready to attack something.
Just like an animal.
Something overtakes his mind in that split second.
Caelen goes back to the kitchen and makes a trail towards the knives.
Can’t be a human. Fuck that. He’ll do it himself.
He grabs the largest one, the one meant to slice through thick meat and bone. He painfully pulls his tail in front of him onto the counter. He tugs as much as he can, trying to get the most of it in one cut. The muscles in his tail strain against the abuse, the sensitive nerves trying to force his hand down.
Caelen raises the cleaver high enough to hopefully go through, and swings.
He was expecting pain, blood, a mess of fur and bones.
Not a gentle but firm hand holding his wrist just mere centimetres away from his tail, desperately twitching in his grasp.
He gasps. The weight of his actions the past few seconds crashing in as his hold on the knife loosens. The hand takes it, and places it away from Caelen. Another pair of hands steady him as his knees give out, nearly causing him to crumple to the ground.
His hands were shaking as the hybrid started to tear up.
Who stopped him? Why did they stop him? Didn’t they want him as a human? Do they need to have him acting like he was an animal around them to still be called human? WHY ME?
“Shhh. We’re here. We’re here.” Shiki’s voice pushed through the pleading voice in his mind. Caelen was curled in his arms. His claws were still embedded in his skin, the blood dirtying Shiki’s clothes, yet he paid no mind and continued to comfort the hybrid.
Soothing pets on the back of his head calmed his sobbing, both his human and animalistic side appreciated the repetitive motion.
Ash was sat in front of the two, along with Liron behind the god. He could hear Elias behind Shiki, most likely putting the cleaver back to where it belonged. Then, he sat down and carefully pried his claws out to clean the wounds.
He didn’t bother to try resisting. He knew what he did was stupid. Yet it didn’t stop the dysphoric feeling of being born as the wrong species.
He continued to mellow in his thoughts while he was tended to. He knew he should say something soon, an apology or sorts. Caelen was about to open his mouth, a breath already taken, before he was cut off.
“I’m… sorry. I’m sorry I ticked you off by doing something you said you didn’t like. Multiple times too.” Ash sounded guilty. His gaze was locked on the floor. Caelen felt Shiki nod, like a mother approving their kid’s apology.
Caelen hummed, his voice cracking halfway. Liron shuffled around to get a cup of water, pressing the glass to his lips, encouraging the hybrid to take a few sips before he continued.
“I’m sorry too. For scaring you guys like that…” “Don’t you dare.” Elias said. “It was never your fault.” Shiki adds. “Yeah… We should have gone with you. You have said that you didn’t like going out without us.” Liron recalls.
“But-” “But nothing. It was never your fault for being born the wrong way or anything. It only matters when you figure out who you want to be in the end.”
They’re right. He’ll figure it out one day. What he is, who he belonged to, and everything else in between. For now, he knows he’s with people who support him, and he belongs in this little group he calls family.