Chapter Text
No one really knew what happened when a person's vital instrument was stolen or destroyed.
For most people, it never happened. A vital instrument was their most prized possession, something kept close at all times and protected with almost obsessive care. The few recorded cases were difficult to study. Most ended rather.. quickly. Self-destruction, suicide, or complete mental collapse before anyone could properly document what was happening to the victim.
And Cleaners?
That was practically unheard of.
They used their vital instruments almost every day. Sometimes several times a day. The bond between a Cleaner and their instrument ran deeper than almost everyone could understand.
Which brings us to now.
…
The job was supposed to be easy.
So easy, in fact, that the rest of Team Akuta had split off to do their own thing while Rudo and Zanka handled it.
Naturally, Zanka stayed with Rudo.
He was supposed to be mentoring the brat, after all.
And the brat had a talent for finding trouble.
They were currently dismantling the remains of a trash beast. Nothing difficult. Neither of them had even broken a sweat.
"Ah... this is rather mundane," Zanka sighed.
"Yeah!" Rudo immediately perked up. "We should go to that sweet shop down the road after this!"
Zanka let out an offended scoff.
The boy already ate enough sugar to put a dentist into early retirement.
"You should really lay off them a little."
Rudo gasped dramatically.
"Are you calling me fat?!"
"Does the ground explode when you step on it?"
"What does that even mean?!"
"It means exactly what I said."
"You're such an asshole!"
"And you're such a cavity."
"What does THAT even mean?! Now you're just literally saying shit!?—"
Their usual bickering continued uninterrupted.
So uninterrupted, in fact, that neither of them noticed the massive wave of trash rushing straight toward them.
By the time they did—
It was too late.
Everything went black.
For a second, Zanka thought he had finally gotten himself into real trouble.
Then he realized his eyes were closed.
"Oh."
He opened them.
The world around him was completely different.
"...Huh?"
Before he could process where he was, a familiar voice crackled from the connector attached to his wrist collar.
"Zanka!"
Rudo.
Relief immediately settled into his chest. They had gotten separated, but Choker's connection was still working.
"Where are you??"
"If only I knew, dipshit!"
"Hey!"
Good.
If Rudo was still annoying, then he was probably fine.
Zanka almost smiled.
His luck really never seemed to run out.
Not only had he survived whatever that was, he'd even managed to lose the brat for a few minutes.
Two birds. One stone.
...Wait.
He was mentoring him.
He couldn't actually leave him.
Ugh.
"Stay where you are," Zanka said into the connector. "I'll come find you."
"Like hell I'm staying put!"
"You absolutely are."
"You can't tell me what to do!"
Ignoring the continued complaining, Zanka started walking.
…
Rudo had been patiently waiting, though that patience was wearing thin by the second.
"Ugh, this is taking so long!"
For someone with an attention span as short as his, staying in one place was practically torture. Before long, he had started wandering through the piles of trash around him, running his hands through scraps and sorting through anything that looked remotely interesting. If he found something useful, maybe he could bring it back to base later.
Then he heard it.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUAHHHHH!"
A sharp, ear-piercing scream tore through his collar.
Rudo froze.
That sounded like Zanka.
His head snapped toward the noise.
"No... nononono... No! No!"
…
"What the hell was he blabbering about?"
Rudo took off running.
Whatever was happening, it couldn't be good.
He followed the sound of Zanka's voice through the endless field of trash, the other's screams echoing loud enough to give away his location. It didn't take long to find him.
And when he did, Rudo stopped dead in his tracks.
Zanka was on his knees.
In front of him lay Lovely Assistaff.
Broken.
...
Wait.
Broken?
Rudo's stomach dropped.
For a moment, he couldn't bring himself to move closer.
Zanka's cries echoed across the trash field, raw and extremely desperate. He had never heard anything like it before. Not from him.
Not when he'd been beaten half to death.
Not when he'd been bleeding out.
Not when he'd nearly died.
But now?
Now he looked completely shattered.
How did this happen?
How could this happen?
Rudo stood frozen, too caught up in his own shock to notice the nearby piles of trash beginning to shift. The noise had attracted attention. Shapes stirred beneath the garbage as trash beasts slowly began to awaken.
Neither of them noticed.
...
Zanka wasn't even sure what had happened.
One moment he had been wandering through the trash field, searching for Rudo.
The next, a trash beast had emerged.
Normally it wouldn't have been a problem.
Lovely would have cut it down before it even got close.
But Zanka had made a mistake.
A stupid mistake.
His foot caught on a mound of unstable trash just as another wave of debris crashed into him. He stumbled, losing his balance for only a second.
A second was all it took.
He never saw the beast's jaws coming.
Instinct took over.
Zanka raised Lovely Assistaff and blocked.
Then—
Crunch.
The sound was quiet.
Far too quiet.
Wood snapping.
For a moment, everything felt distant.
Unreal.
Zanka hit the ground hard. Something rolled from his hands. Blue light flickered weakly across the trash.
His eyes followed it.
No.
No.
That wasn't—
It couldn't—
His gaze locked onto Lovely.
Or what was left of her.
The familiar staff was split down the middle, jagged cracks running through the wood. Blue energy leaked from the break like blood from an open wound, sputtering and fizzling into the air.
Zanka stared.
His mind refused to understand what he was seeing.
Lovely was in his hands every day.
Every mission.
Every morning.
Every night.
He knew every scratch.
Every dent.
Every inch of her.
And now all he could see was broken wood and fading blue light.
His breathing hitched.
No.
No, no, no.
His hands shook violently as he crawled forward and grabbed the shattered pieces.
"Lovely...?"
Nothing happened.
No response.
No familiar presence.
No voice.
Just silence.
The blue light continued to fade.
And something inside Zanka broke with it.
"AHHHHHUGHHHHHH—!"
The scream tore from his throat.
"HAAAAA— HAAA— WAHHHH—!"
His chest felt like it was being ripped apart.
He clutched the broken pieces to himself, shaking so hard he could barely breathe.
"No... no, no, no, no..."
The words came out between sobs.
"Please..."
His fingers tightened around the cracked wood.
"Please..." he choked out again.
But Lovely didn't answer..
There was an emotion Zanka had never felt before.
True despair.
It swallowed him whole.
The feeling was so overwhelming that he couldn't move. Couldn't think. Couldn't even bring himself to stand. All he could do was sit there, clutching the broken remains of Lovely in trembling hands.
His brows drew together.
Tears blurred his vision before spilling over, sliding down his cheeks one after another. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the strangled sobs forcing their way out of his throat.
If his family could see him now...
They would've called him pathetic.
Weak.
Crying over a meaningless toy.
They would've laughed.
They would've—
His thoughts fell apart before they could finish.
...
Rudo was the first to notice the trash beast.
Its massive form was already moving toward Zanka.
Fast.
"Watch out!"
No response.
Zanka didn't even look up.
His eyes remained fixed on the broken staff in his hands.
"Zanka!"
Rudo's heart dropped.
He took off running.
The trash beast was too close.
Way too close.
He pushed himself harder, ignoring the burn in his legs as he rushed forward. If he could just reach him—
If he could just—
The beast brought its foot down.
SPLAT!
For a moment, everything seemed to stop.
Rudo froze.
His mind refused to process what he'd just seen.
No.
No, that wasn't right.
Zanka had moved.
He had to have moved.
There was no way he just sat there!
No way!
Rudo stared, desperately trying to make sense of it.
Trying to convince himself he'd missed something.
That Zanka had rolled away at the last second. That he was hiding somewhere nearby. That any second now he'd pop up yelling about some bullshit.
But Zanka never stood up.
Never shouted. Never moved. The reality of it settled in piece by piece. And with it came a sick feeling in Rudo's stomach.
His knees nearly gave out beneath him.
Before he could stop himself, he doubled over and threw up.
...
Rudo didn't remember much after that. Had he fainted? Or was he dead too, crushed by that same trash beast? He couldn't answer his own question as he felt someone grab his hand.
A fimilar touch..
Regto...?
Had he come to see him in the afterlife too? To rub his hair and say some stupid thing that would piss him off?
Rudo was tired for once.
All he ever wanted was to feel the rather embarrassing embrace of his true dad again. He started crying like a little kid, holding onto the hand tighter as if trying to memorize the feeling of it before he left him again.
He missed him.
He missed him so fucking much.
"Regto...!" The boy's choked sobs grew louder as he felt someone grab his shoulder and try to shake him. To Rudo, it felt like Regto trying to comfort him. Trying to get him to stop crying.
"I'm sorry, Dad! I'm truly sorry! I failed you! I failed you..." he quivered. The Regto he was seeing now didn't say a word. Was he ashamed of him? Disappointed? He didn't understand. "Say something! Anything!"
"You tried your best."
The words hit him harder than anything else.
Because that's exactly what Regto would've said. Not that he was useless. Not that he had failed. Not that he should've done better.
Just that he tried his best.
And somehow, that only made Rudo cry harder.
…
The Regto in his grasp had started to slowly fade, flickering at the edges of his memory like smoke being pulled apart. Rudo’s choked sobs turned desperate, he had hoped if he held on tighter he could stop it.
“Don’t go—!”
But it didn’t listen.
It kept disappearing anyway.
And then—
Nothing.
His body jolted.
His eyes snapped open.
He stiffened immediately, still half trapped in the feeling of being held, only to realize he was face-first into something warm… breathing.
A chest.
A very real, very solid chest.
“Rudo!”
The voice hit him like a slap back into reality.
He flinched and pulled back fast, scrambling slightly as he fell back onto the bed. His vision swam for a second before clearing enough to make out the person in front of him.
“…Enjin?”
Enjin was already moving, pushing himself upright from where he had apparently been sitting beside him. He muttered something under his breath about getting Eisha, voice rough like he hadn’t slept properly in days. His hair was a mess, and there were dark bags under his eyes that made him look even more worn down than usual.
He didn’t look relieved.
Soon enough others started to arrive.
Eisha came in first, quick and alert. Behind her were Corvus and a few more Cleaners, the space suddenly too small, and way too crowded.
“You’re awake, Rudo?” Semiu said, adjusting her glasses as she stepped closer.
Rudo blinked slowly, still trying to catch up with his own body. His throat felt dry, his head heavy, like it was stuffed with cotton balls.
“What…” he rasped, eyes flicking between all of them. “What happened?”
The room went quiet.
Too quiet.
A few glances were exchanged.. awkward, uncertain, like no one wanted to be the one to say it out loud.
Finally, after a pause that felt far too long—
“Zanka is dead.”
No.
That didn’t happen.
For a second, Rudo didn’t even react. It didn’t process properly. Like the words had been spoken in another language entirely.
Then it hit.
“Ha… it can’t be—! It can’t be!”
Rudo was in pure shock. He ran his gloved hands through his hair, yanking hard at the strands. Another one dead on his watch. First Regto, then Zanka. He had a curse on him… watching the life drain from each found family member’s eyes, seeing their last moments over and over again.
A curse.
A curse. A curse. A curse. A curse.
The word echoed louder and louder until it drowned out everything else.
…
A—
His vision snapped.
The room vanished.
—
Rudo was there again.
Same trash field.
Same moment.
Same helpless second stretching too long.
Zanka on the ground..A trash beast already closing in.
But this time, Rudo moved.
He ran faster than he ever had before, throwing himself between Zanka and the attack, pushing both of them out of the way at the last second. They rolled hard into a pile of trash. Jagged edges tore through skin, leaving deep cuts across both his and Zanka’s bodies, but they were alive..
“Open your eyes!” Rudo screamed at him. “We need to move!”
Zanka didn’t respond. There was no time!? Rudo’s chest tightened. He couldn’t carry him… not like this. He wasn’t strong enough. And staying here would mean death anyway.
He couldn’t carry him.
He wasn’t strong enough.
So he had to fight.
Rudo pushed himself up, hands trembling as he grabbed the nearest scrap he could find. A broken piece of trash.. nothing special, nothing clean.. but in his grip it felt like something else entirely.
Something that meant something.
He shaped it fast. Desperate. A makeshift vital instrument, born out of panic more than skill.
The trash beast came again.
Rudo met it.
He didn’t think. He just moved.. dodging, striking, forcing it back with frantic, uneven blows. Not clean or the slightest bit pretty.. Just barely enough. The beast staggered, distracted, and that was all he needed.
One last hit.
It collapsed.
Silence.
Rudo stood there, breathing hard, chest heaving like he’d just been thrown through a storm. His hands shook as he turned immediately…
“Zanka!”
He ran back.
Dropped to his knees beside him.
…
Zanka didn’t realize he was still alive.
For a moment, everything had gone quiet in the worst way possible. No pain. No sound. No weight pressing down on him anymore.
Just… stillness.
He assumed that meant it was over.
That whatever had hit him, whatever Rudo had been screaming about, had finally finished its job.
Oddly enough, it felt peaceful.
His whole life had been noise. Expectations. Pressure. The Nijiku name sitting on his shoulders like a chain he could never take off. Even as a child, there was never really a choice.. just the constant demand to be better, sharper, stronger.
Perfect.
And he had tried.
God, he had tried.
He had to.
He couldn’t disappoint them.
He couldn’t disappoint anyone.
So he lived like that. Day after day. Mission after mission. Pushing it all down until it became normal.
And now?
Now it was just… quiet.
The earth was around him. Heavy. Noiseless. Just how he liked it. It had finally decided to swallow him whole and end the performance early.
And strangely enough… he didn’t fight it.
After all, Lovely was gone.
And Rudo would be fine without him.
He had heard things. Rumors. Conversations he wasn’t meant to catch. Especially that one.. Tamsy speaking too freely, too casually, about replacements, about usefulness, about how maybe Rudo would have been better suited to take his place in Team Akuta once Enjin eventually retired.
It had felt like something cracked inside him that day.
But now it didn’t matter.
None of it mattered.
He could rest.
Finally.
Let the pit take him. Let the trash swallow him like everything else that got discarded down here.
He deserved it, didn’t he?
Just another broken thing in the dump.
…
Then he heard it.
A voice.
Faint at first. Far away. It didn’t belong in this quiet place.
Was this what they meant? That weird moment after death where your brain played tricks on you? Final echoes before everything shut off?
Zanka didn’t move.
He refused to.
If this was some kind of illusion, he didn’t want it. He didn’t want pity. He didn’t want anything pretending to care at the very end.
He just wanted silence.
“Za…nka…”
His fingers twitched slightly.
No.
Don’t do this.
“Zan…ka!”
The voice sharpened. Louder now. It somehow closer…
Annoyingly familiar.
Zanka sucked in a shaky breath, still refusing to open his eyes.
Damnit.
…
Rudo finally spotted his teammates in the distance.. after what felt like forever of searching, they had finally found him and Zanka. They looked just as shaken as he felt.
They had already carried Zanka back toward the car.
But Rudo didn’t move.
“Rudo! Come on! We need to get him back as soon as possible!”
He still didn’t.
His eyes stayed locked on the ground, scanning.
Then he suddenly dropped to his knees and started digging through the trash scattered across the floor.
“What are you—!?”
“Zanka’s instrument! The pieces are somewhere here! If I can find it, I can fix it!”
Rudo blurted it out without even looking up.
Enjin raised a brow, disbelief flickering across his face.
“There’s no use! There’s too much trash! you’ll never find it before your oxygen runs out!”
But Rudo didn’t stop.
He just kept searching.
Enjin let out a frustrated sound, half a groan, half surrender, and eventually dropped down beside him anyway.
Minutes passed.
Ten.
Then more.
The pile didn’t get smaller.. Still, Rudo kept going, hands shaking, eyes locked in.
And then—
“I FOUND IT!”
Rudo shot up so fast it startled them both, clutching two broken pieces in his hands. A strange liquid still oozed faintly from the edges.
Enjin jolted awake fully at the sight.
“…This kid really did it.”
…
The aftermath of getting back to HQ had been rough.
It took a while for Zanka to even open his eyes again. Eishia could only assume it was because the anima in his body had been severed in half.. most of it usually stored in his vital instrument. And going without it, especially all at once, didn’t just weaken you. It threw everything off. The body didn’t adjust cleanly. It just… broke into imbalance.
It was unfortunate.
And even after Zanka finally woke up, he was placed on suicide watch.
That decision had come after he made a few comments that hinted at it—
then stopped being hints.
“There's nothing left for me… what’s the point.”
Enjin still remembered the way he said it. Quiet. Devoid of all emotions. Zanka couldn’t even bring himself to look at anyone while saying it.
He's never seen the kid like this before…
Overall, it was a terrible situation. Zanka seemed to slip a little further every day without his assiststaff. Eishia could barely keep up with all the symptoms… physical and otherwise. It was like losing a limb and still feeling it there, phantom sense and rather… the feeling refusing to fade. It left him unsettled.
But slowly, things had started to stabilize.
Zanka began eating again, little by little. Small snacks at first. Enough that they were able to step back from the feeding tube.
And in the meantime, Rudo stayed busy.
Working day and night trying to repair the damn thing.. refusing to leave it half-done, he'd rather risk his own health than let it stay broken. He ignored his own rest, his own needs, pushing through whatever fatigue came just to make progress. Just to fix it. He wanted to make it right again..
Riyo and Amo visited him every day after that.
Riyo would usually just sit there, half-resting, half-watching Rudo work in silence. Not saying much. But making sure he at least got food and sleep to keep him going.
Amo was the opposite.
On the days she came, she filled the room completely. Talking the whole time, keeping Rudo going whether he wanted it or not. Shoving food into his hands when he forgot to eat, muttering that he’d pass out if he kept acting like that. Sometimes she didn’t even ask.
And weirdly enough… that’s what kept him moving.
...
Weeks passed like that.
Then—
It was done.
“…Holy shit!”
Rudo practically stumbled back from it, staring at the finished piece.
It was back. Mostly. Almost exactly how it used to be, just with a few minor scratches that refused to fully disappear no matter how much he worked on them. But it was whole again. It was actually whole again!
The shout echoed too loud.
Enjin was at the door almost immediately.
He looked out of breath, he’d sprinted without even realizing it. His eyes flicked from Rudo to the object in his hands, trying to understand what all the noise was about.
Then he saw it.
The staff.
“You did it, kid.”
…
Later, Rudo went to the nursery where Zanka was kept.
The boy looked nothing like he used to. Paler. Thinner. Everything had been slowly pulled out of him over time and never put back.
Still asleep.
Rudo didn’t hesitate. He stepped forward and carefully placed the vital instrument into Zanka’s arms.
The moment it made contact—
it lit up.
Red. Then burgundy. Then grape. Then violet. Then a deep aegean blue, shifting from red to purple. Then…
Rudo’s breath caught.
It made sense, sort of. His anima had been all over it for weeks. In every repair. Every late night. mistake and correction. It must’ve left something behind. Probably had gotten that stuck.
Then the color finally steadied back into blue.
Zanka stirred.
He curled around the staff first, instinct before thought, his body recognized it before his mind did.
His eyes opened.
For a moment, he didn’t speak. Didn’t move. he was afraid it would disappear if he acknowledged it too strongly.
His grip tightened hard enough that Rudo thought, for a second, it might break again.
But it didn’t.
Instead, Zanka’s face twisted, eyes glassy, breath catching like he couldn’t decide if he was relieved or overwhelmed.
“Lovely…?”