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“Hyung-nim!” Tang Bo’s voice could be heard even from afar. Cheongmyeong didn’t get annoyed or flinched, he simply got used to the younger man’s presence.
Cheongmyeong looked at Tang Bo, raising one of his eyebrows, “What is it this time?”
“This time?” Tang Bo gasped, “Hyung-nim, you make it sound like I always caused trouble!”
“Aren’t you, though?”
“You’re the last person I want to hear that from!”
The two of them got into a playful debate for a few minutes before Cheongmyeong shut Tang Bo up by hitting him on the head. It’s proven very effective, judging by how Tang Bo immediately did a fake sob instead of arguing back.
When will this guy get tired of annoying me? Cheongmyeong thought, stretching his palm that still had smoke emerging from it due to the previous hit.
That didn’t deter Tang Bo, though. Tang Bo, being the leech he is called, started to cling on the hem of Cheongmyeong’s attire. He turned his tone into a playful one, making sure that Cheongmyeong would interpret it as a joke, “That’s not enough to take me away from you, hyung-nim. I will always come back and annoy you.”
Hearing Tang Bo’s giggle, Cheongmyeong became even more confused, “Don’t you have other people to annoy? I’m sure there are a lot of people who want to be annoyed by you.”
Suddenly, Tang Bo fell silent.
Cheongmyeong gulped. Did he say the wrong thing?
“I mean-” Cheongmyeong tried to fix his sentence, but he could not come up with any excuse, unlike his usual self.
Tang Bo saw how Cheongmyeong struggled, so he immediately snapped out of his own thoughts and giggled, “What are you talking about, hyung-nim? You’re the only one I want to annoy! Why would I look at other people and make you jealous, hm?”
Reflexively, Cheongmyeong flicked Tang Bo’s forehead, “Who’s jealous, huh?” Cheongmyeong sighed. He’s a bit relieved that the atmosphere is now back to the usual playful banter.
Tang Bo let go of the hem of Cheongmyeong’s clothes and continued to smile. A smile so bright that Cheongmyeong wouldn’t expect could be worn by someone that his own clan avoids.
Light is supposed to attract moths.
Sadly, Tang Bo never had the chance to shine there.
Sure, he’s strong. One of the strongest, even. But, what is the strongest if no one would be willing to look him in the eyes? What proof would remain when he’s gone? Who would tell his story?
Even now, Tang Bo is known as someone cold and hard to approach. A figure that intimidates anyone who dares to pass by him. Cheongmyeong’s is his only salvation, a place where he could drink alcohol without mixing it with poison in order to wash away all of the numbness he felt in his heart.
Tang Bo needs to feel something, anything.
And then, Cheongmyeong came into his life and gave him everything.
Of course, Tang Bo would never say it out loud. He knows better than to make Cheongmyeong embarrassed. If Cheongmyeong doesn’t realize how much he means to Tang Bo, then let him be. It’s not Cheongmyeong’s responsibility to put Tang Bo’s broken pieces together one by one. Just by existing, Cheongmyeong already gave him a lot of meaning.
“Hyung-nim,” Tang Bo says and Cheongmyeong swears he could taste sweetness on his tongue, “I like spending time with you.”
I like it too. Cheongmyeong was supposed to answer that.
I like you too. Cheongmyeong wanted to say that.
But, none of those two sentences ever roll out of his tongue. Instead, Cheongmyeong chuckled to hide the awkward tremble in his voice, “You really like being beaten up by me, huh?”
“That’s one of the perks!”
“Crazy bastard.”
Suddenly, it all feels lighter for Cheongmyeong. He doesn't know why. Tang Bo always has this kind of effect on him… maybe that’s just one of Tang Bo’s bizarre personalities acting up again? Cheongmyeong would never know, because he never thought of seeking the answer.
Why would he even think of something that he will experience every day? He will wake up and meet Tang Bo, do a fight or two before getting a drink, and feel happiness bud up inside him.
But, every flower is destined to die at the end, isn’t it?
Cheongmyeong is always curious on how it would feel to have Tang Bo close to him, but not like this. Not when Tang Bo’s body turned cold and pale each second passed. He’s beyond help, and Cheongmyeong never felt more helpless.
“Hyung-nim…” Tang Bo managed to utter a sentence, “...take care of my people for me.”
Why?
Why would Tang Bo still think about them?
Tang Bo has so much love to give with so little people who want to accept it.
Cheongmyeong should’ve realized it sooner. Should’ve said it sooner. Everything he felt, everything he yearned for.
If only they were given a bit more time, would Cheongmyeong be able to express it?
The answer remains unknown, because there was no time to be given.
That’s not enough to take me away from you, hyung-nim. Tang Bo’s sentence repeated in his mind like a broken record.
So, Cheongmyeong himself is not enough, but this thing is enough to tear apart Tang Bo from him? Don’t joke with him. Tang Bo would never leave him, he already proclaimed that he will always annoy Cheongmyeong. Then, where is he now?
Come back. Cheongmyeong always repeated it like a mantra, as if saying it until he gets tired will atone the guilt he felt. Please, come back.
If not for love, then for forgiveness. If not for forgiveness, then for spite.
Just, don’t leave me alone.
Then, it all clicked. Cheongmyeong’s mind halted every other thought.
He’s not the plum blossom sword saint anymore. He doesn’t wear pure white clothes anymore. His looks are much younger than how he used to be anymore.
His Tang Bo is not here for him anymore either.
Into nothingness, Cheongmyeong stared at the ceiling above him. The night is still young, yet he is already thinking of going to sleep. Is it because he could meet people he lost in his dream if his dream were kind enough to him? Perhaps. But, that’s not real and Cheongmyeon knows it, right? Perhaps.
There’s a lot of uncertainty, but Cheongmyeong is fixated on one thought.
“Were you lonely, Boya?”
No one answered, but Cheongmyeong swore that could hear a whisper, gently humming to his ears.
“Are you, hyung-nim?”