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I chose to worry, not after the seventh call, not after the sixth, the fifth, the fourth, the third, or the second. No no, it was the first call I began to worry.
Dead silence as the phone rang.
Damn, another call straight to voice mail.
It wasn't like Paul to not answer the phone. Not at all. If anything, Paul was the one to call. Every late night call was a race between us to see who called first, he always won.
As the ninth call rang, i slammed the phone down, and began shrugging my jacket on. It only took a split second before I thought to ditch the jacket and just get my boots on quick, my quickest option.
I got in the car, not even giving it time to warm up. Bonus points because it's winter. I drove as quick as I could, barely thinking.
The directions were second nature to me, mainly because i go over to his place a lot. Just like he comes over to mine.
We've been discussing moving in together. Its just easier to wake up next to each other every day.
By the time I knew it, I pulled into the driveway. His car was there, he's home.
The lights are on too.
My heart is pounding, my mind racing. I don't know what to think. Should I be angry? Should I be even more worried?
I didn't even think, as soon as I parked I got out of the car and to the door.
I stood there for what seemed like hours, but in reality was one second. I immediately grabbed my key and went in, finding the place was quiet. Too quiet.
I heard a small thud in the room, and I immediately rushed there. I stood there for a slight moment, reevaluating my choices. Should I go in? Should I leave? What if he yells at me? No, he's too sweet to do that, he'd never. But it's a possibility.
I went in, finding Paul sitting on the edge of his bed, just sitting, breathing heavily.
"...Paul..?" I muttered, stepping in.
There were pills on his desk, scattered, some on the floor, the bottle on the ground. His phone was in his hand, it seemed he was about to dial my number.
He looked at me slightly, he looked drowsy.
He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
Then a small sentence. ".. I'm overdosing.."
That sentence made my heart drop. I couldn't think. I froze, trying to think before I mindlessly ran to him, trying to scrape my brain for any information.
I couldn't remember anything.
"J-just stay calm and don't close your eyes, I-I'll call the police.." I said as I grabbed the phone, dialling 911. I couldn't think. I kept pressing the wrong buttons, until I managed to find the right ones while i tried to wrap my head around the situation. I was crying to much, I thought.
But as I dialed, he grabbed my hand.
He then pulled me in a hug, his bear hugs.
He knows. I know he knows. He knows even if I did call 911, he wouldn't make it until then. He took too much.
All I could do is hug him as he left the world. All I could do is cry, cry as the one I love leaves me. I cried, and gave him one last kiss before he left. My Paulie, my dear sweet Paul. Just sleep.