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Socializing wasn't Juno’s forte. Especially with others that seemed so much more mature than her, already developing friendships with their coworkers, with others in the nest that they currently occupied. She didn't know how to fit in with the Sinners.
The rest of the group were more adjusted to each other's jabs, while Juno was sensitive to them. It got to a point where they simply stopped including her in their conversations, so she wouldn't freak out, or try to joke back awkwardly with some weird joke. Calmly sit in the corner while the adults do the talking, the laughing. Even Sinclair took the jokes better, and he was the more emotional of the bunch. She wondered how she could be like him, despite the fact
even he felt uncomfortable around her.
A painful, sick feeling swirled and twisted around in Juno’s stomach. She looked outside, leaning against the cold glass.
Outside the bus, gentle, white powder piled more onto the sugary white ground below. Juno watched in awe, memories of her prison back in the outskirts, trapped in that large house and in those fancy, warm dresses. The recollection was foggy, even if her current employers knew it in excessive detail. It was embarrassing, very embarrassing– though she supposed that was the case for everyone else, too. At least she wasn't singled out and humiliated, for once in her life.
Juno shook her head, bringing herself to the present. The bus was empty. It was cold, and the healed scars on her body didn’t bother her anymore. All the new injuries she does attain get reversed, never appearing again on her flesh. The pain was still there, but the damage wasn't.
As Juno stared, her trance was interrupted by a loud yawn coming from the back of the bus, though it was mixed with a groan and a whimper, as if the man doing it was stretching with all his might. She looked over, her eyes widened in fear until she realized it was just Gregor.
“Grraaaahhh… Oh, hey there, bud. Didn't go with the others?,” Gregor asked, rubbing his eye with his only hand.
“N… No. I thought… you did..” Juno chewed on his finger, he avoided the man's eyes. Though, Juno did this with everyone.
She hated being looked at. Juno hated looking at others.
“Nah… Rodya tried to, but I don’t really… celebrate all that stuff,”
“Why..?”
Gregor itched the back of his head, as if he was debating on telling the girl or not. He didn't talk about his family much.
“I was raised jewish, so we never celebrated.. but I’m not much of a … holidays, big events in general fan,” Gregor laughed nervously, running his long hair through his callused hand.
“...What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“Jewish…”
“Oh, it’s.. um,” Gregor looked around, trying to explain this concept to her.
“Some sort of… religion. Yaknow, no one really thinks it's real. It's just a way to… connect us, as.. humans, sorta.”
“Oh.. it sounds scary.”
“Yeah. It’s also an ethnicity..”
“How does that work?” Juno tilted her head, curiously.
“Ah.. um. Hey, isn't it cold with your arms ‘n stuff exposed?” Gregor looked over, a nervous smile was on his scruffy face.
“O-Oh, no.. well, I’m used to it… I like the cold. And.. my gloves keep me warm.”
Gregor opened his mouth to speak, but just simply nodded, followed by a noise of understanding.
The small breeze of silence passed, before the scruffy man coughed again.
“I was gonna get some essentials, do… you wanna come with?” Gregor asked, then looked Juno in her eyes tiredly. “O-Only if you want to. Don’t wanna.. Boss you around, or anything.”
Juno’s heart felt like it was about to explode. In a flurry of butterflies or as if a bomb was strapped to it, threatening to blow Juno and about everything in a 40-foot radius into a fine dust. Her mouth flooded with saliva and contradicting answers to his invitation. Was this some sort of ritual to use her? Throw her in a back alley and have his way? But Gregor was always outcasted from the group, the butt of their jokes as well, but they still talked to him. Probably because he took the punches.
But, he was inviting her out on this gorgeous night.
And, of course, she trusted him.
“Y-Yeah! yeah! I’d.. I would.. love to! Yeah!” Juno exclaimed, getting up from the bus seat and happily skipped over to the similar-sized man.
Gregor chuckled nervously at her mood shift, but his gaze shifted to his jacket that he constantly carried. As him and Juno headed towards the bus door, Gregor put the jacket over the girl’s shoulders.
“E-Eh?”
“It’s cold out there! Even if you’re used to it, you can still get sick, kiddo!”
Kiddo?
“Thank- thank you… you’re very nice…”
Juno can't even remember the last time she got sick. Can she get sick? she doesn't know. But she felt her pale, freckled face warm up at the jacket. She put it on quickly, a little bigger than the petite, terribly underweight girl, but she didn't mind.
It smelled like him too. It was pleasant.
“It’s nothing, don't worry. C’mon, bud.”
Juno hurried along, getting off the bus with the older man, snow instantly landed on her dark, purplish hair. She looked up, continuing to follow Gregor into the shopping area.
It was loud, that’s for sure. People hurriedly fast-walked down the street, talking on the phone, coming out of stores, conversing with each other while holding warm drinks, what seemed to be coffee or hot chocolate depending on how the person reacted to it. She could tell they were warm due to the steam coming off of them. Juno always wondered what hot chocolate tasted like. And coffee, though from the squinted faces, perhaps not.
Juno could taste it anytime she wanted, but a part of her was scared to. There's always something so mystical about the norms that Juno didn't grow up with, but were somehow the same as breathing for her peers. For everyone walking in this street. She liked to imagine the joys of drinking hot chocolate while eating a red velvet cake, rather than ruin the fantasy by doing it herself and not liking it. Same with salad, or dressing in nice clothes, or even swimming. What if she didn't like hot chocolate? What if she hated the texture of cake, and icing? What if ramen noodles didn't taste that good? She preferred to watch the rest of the sinners eat and participate in fun activities, rather than do them herself. They always seemed to have fun. It made her happy, seeing them happy.
But when she did have to eat (Juno was mortal after all), she simply ate easily predictable foods. Fruit. Chicken. Stuff like that. That’s probably why she was so skinny.
“We’re here, bud. Pretty big supermarket, I think…” Gregor sighed, already starting to ignore the looks the shoppers gave him.
“Grab a cart, would you?”
“Okay..” Juno nodded, then claimed a shopping cart for him. She knew that driving one with a single hand would probably be difficult, so she didn't mind doing it. She liked being useful.
She followed Gregor along with the metal cart, letting him get his essential items. Items Juno felt like a pervert for watching the older man put it in the metal, large basket. Shampoo, conditioner, soap… shower items.
Gregor taking a shower… him naked, running shampoo and conditioner through his (surprisingly thick) hair with his good hand, a small glance into how he truly was, raw and vulnerable, just like when he was born. What did that look like? Would Juno ever witness that part of him?
Juno shook her head. He turned to distract himself, but noticed a sign.
Sugar cookies on sale, specifically ones that came in small tubes, so you could cut it into any shapes you wanted. Accompanied by it were cookie cutters.. icing, sprinkles. Even hot chocolate mix.
The fantasy, reality ruining the fantasy of sweetness, played into the underweight girl's mind.
“Hmh..?” Gregor noticed her staring, and then looked over at the display.
It was kind of gaudy, the person to decorate it obviously was younger, or was a master at the art of catching eyes and attention. Probably not paid enough.
Gregor looked back at Juno, then the display. The girl’s dark purple eyes, typically flat and dead, had a small bit of childish joy in them– something Gregor lost long ago. Did she want them? did she even know how to cook? He doesn't recall ever seeing her attempt, mostly just snacks and whatever they brought to the bus that day. Maybe that’s why she’s so skinny.
“...You want some cookie dough?”
Juno looked over, eyes still glittered with excitement and a child-like yearning for the treats, but still a small teaspoon of fear sprinkled onto his expression.
“I never tried them before… but…”
“You never ate sugar cookies before?”
“N…Nn.. No.”
“..Do I wanna ask why?”
“I wasn’t allowed to.”
“Well, that’s gonna change. Put it in the cart.” Gregor sighed, his normal hand ran itself through his brown hair, obviously curious onto why she wasn’t allowed to, but not curious enough to open up that can of worms.
“Ao- Okay..!” Juno nodded eagerly, grabbed one of the cookie tubes, icing, and cookie cutters, then carefully placed them into the metal basket.
Her heart felt as if it was racing. He was always so nice to her, even when she told him over and over that she’d do whatever he told her to do. This applied to the other sinners as well, but Gregor was always the one kindest to her about it. Whenever he gave her a task, it was always in her best interest. He always emphasized that Juno didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to, despite other sinners (Mostly Ishmael’s) complaints that ‘Well she’s gonna do it anyway! Even if you say that!’
Gregor was so kind.
Just like Jupiter was.
Juno shook her head.
She looked at his normal arm. If she wasn’t the one pushing, she’d want to hold it. Maybe later, sometime later, she can hold his hairy, veiny arm. It was so warm. So comforting; Like Gregor himself.
She followed Gregor to the self checkout section, and hurried to help check out the items with him, a little sweat on her forehead from nervousness. The two were so close, their hands brushed against each other slightly every few times. His hands were rough, calloused, yet the man was so careful and gentle with everything he touched, making sure not to bruise anything, even if the thing in question couldn’t be bruised. He held his shampoo, the cookies, Juno, the other sinners-- he held them with all the care in the world.
She wondered if he had any care for himself, any gentleness he had left over for himself, for indulgence that everyone swims in. Did he swim in it? Or was he suffering from a drought?
When they walked back to the bus, Juno bit her lip. She held her bags while he held his single one.
“G-..Gr..Guh…” She struggled to spit it out, yet the older man looked over as if he knew what she was trying to say.
“Mh?”
“Do you… want to help me… make cookies.. A-and- and stuff?”
Gregor was quiet, then laughed.
“Yeah! I thought that was the plan, bud.”
“A-Ah- really?”
“Mhm, Ah, I haven’t baked before though…”
“M-Me neither.”
“Well! Always a first for everything, right?”
He was so kind.
They eventually made it to the bus, then walked to the back, passing by Vergilius. He didn’t comment on the two, but Juno could feel his harsh eyes on her. She wondered if he was judging her, or taking notes in his mind, whatever those notes may be. But, for once, Juno didn’t care. All she could think about was making cookies with Gregor.