Chapter Text
“Come on Rai-Chan, let’s make this quick okay it’s really cold tonight,” Matsumura said to his little Akita. The spryly pups tail wagged as he peered up at his owner, tongue out, and mouth almost smiling. He’d been begging to go out for a walk; it was after Matsumura's family had finished dinner.
He didn’t normally walk him so late, the weather had still been very cold at night. But the pup had other plans, and he had to oblige lest he had an accident to clean up after. Weather be damned, he’d bundled up and Rai-Chan had been jumping with excitement at the chance to go out.
They wandered a bit, aimlessly. Since there wasn’t much to do at that time. The streets were empty and people were turning to go to bed. The cold chill made his bed sound warm and enticing at that moment.
Rai-Chan tensed and sniffed the air. He barked in the direction of the scent. “Rai! shhh. This is no time to speak, okay boy. People are sleeping.” Rai whined and tried to pull against the leash. Matsumura sighed.
“Alright boy, it’s getting late. We gotta head home okay.” He peered at his phone and saw the time. It was fifteen past nine, he began to pull the leash in the opposite direction. Rai-Chan wouldn’t budge. He stayed and fought against his restraints. “Rai let’s go.”
The pup pulled and wiggled out of the collar. His little paws digging into the dirt and his hind legs used all the strength to release himself. He budged free and sprinted towards his curiosity. Matsumura panicked and ran after the dog. “Rai! Sit boy!,” he tried to run, but the pup was young and had a lot of energy.
Rai was still in his sight, but he was running uphill. He knew he would lose sight of him. He wasn’t athletic in the slightest. Given his tall composition, he was the target of many school captains to join a sport. But he couldn’t be bothered, he wasn’t an active sports kind of guy. Boy did he regret that now.
Eventually, Rai became a little dot in the distance, but he was determined to follow. There was a slight fork in the road, and he no longer saw him. He called out to him, “Rai!! Come back. Where could he have gone?.”
In that moment he heard the barking again and he sprinted towards the sound. Huffing and gasping for breath, he managed to keep calm. Rai was a loyal dog, so he wasn’t afraid of losing him completely. He just hoped he would find whatever it was that had made him curious. As he came to the peak of the hill, he noticed a bike haphazardly left on the ground.
He approached it first and then he realized that Rai was with someone. The pup was excitedly wagging his tail, leaping from side to side in front of this person. Like he was searching for an opening. The person was on the ground hunched over, shoulders shaking. Was this person crying? It was dark so he couldn’t tell.
“Rai, here you are. Hey buddy, leave the poor guy alone.” He assumed the lump was male from what he could see they were wearing. Even though he couldn’t tell yet. He walked further and the person moved at his words.
“Matsumura?,” the young man croaked. He was definitely crying. As he got closer, he realized who it was.
“Nakamura?!,” he asked surprised. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?.”
Matsumura assessed him. The bike must belong to him so, could he have fallen? He was crying about something.
“No, I’m fine.” Nakamura sniffled. He hugged his legs to his chest, like he wanted to become impossibly smaller than he already looked. It breaks Matsumura’s heart to see him like that. Historically, he would have loved to see him squirm. But his view of the other boy changed during Christmas. After that, he would have to admit that he had been thinking about the other boy, at random times of the day.
He learned that Nakamura was a sweet and misunderstood young man. Who just happened to share a similar obsession of Hirose like he did. He realized that Nakamura wasn’t so bad.
He hadn’t seen him since that mall encounter. So, what were the odds he’d find him here? Nakamura wiped his nose with his sweater, which Matsumura found gross but cute. To which he thought “Did I just think that was cute?.” He quickly pushed the thought away.
He had been crying a while, if the puffiness in his eyes and cheeks were any indicator. Rai-Chan was trying to comfort him. He was nuzzling Nakamura’s hand with his nose, a sign that he wanted to be petted. Nakamura took the hint and gently scratched the puppy’s head. “Is he yours,” he asked softly.
“Yea, sorry. He was adamant at finding you for some reason. I guess he knew you needed comforting.”
Nakamura looked forlorn at that statement. “Dogs are clever,” he replied.
“So, you wanna talk about what has you in this state?,” he asked.
He sat next to Nakamura. He realized that they were overlooking the city. It was a cliffed out area with a safety railing and a soft view. The city lights were dimming, people around turning their homes dark, so they looked like they were twinkling in the distance. He waited patiently for an answer.
“Hirose has a girlfriend.”
“What!!?,” he shrieked. When did that happen? His informant didn’t mention this new development. He was going to have words with them as soon as he saw them again. “Are you sure?.”
Nakamura just nodded in confirmation. A fresh puddle of tears was brimming from his eyes. “I found out during Valentine’s Day.”
Matsumura listened. He couldn’t believe that it finally happened. He knew it was only a matter of time. But, to have it happen felt different. He realized though that it didn’t feel too altering. At least, he didn’t feel near as bad as Nakamura did.
“That sucks, but I guess it was bound to happen huh?,” he said. They both knew it. Hirose was a whole character. He was charming and funny. A little bit of a prankster. But most importantly he was kind and inclusive of others.
He realized, it might have been the reason he fawned over him so excessively. Might have also been why Nakamura fell for him too. He assumed from the way Nakamura looked at Hirose that there was a possibility that he was also gay. Matsumura had only realized it about himself in middle school.
Tears silently fell down Nakamura’s face now. He adjusted to sitting with his legs crossed, and Rai-Chan took that opportunity to sit in the pocket of space between his legs. He looked perfectly comfortable as he kept trying to comfort Nakamura. “You’re such a good boy,” he cooed and scratched behind his ear.
Matsumura smiled, that little scoundrel was cuddling up to the enemy. He’d also heard that dogs can sometimes be good judges of character. Maybe his dog could sense it too.
“He practically ran to you,” Matsumura said chuckling. “This is the most I’ve ran in forever. Definitely did a workout.”
Nakamura laughed, a gentle genuine laugh that surprised Matsumura. He turned to look at him and their eyes caught. Even through the puffiness of his face, he was surprisingly attractive. Matsumura blushed and turned away. He cleared his throat.
“So—am I safe in assuming that you have a crush on Hirose?,” Nakamura’s shoulders hitched.
“No need to be afraid, I promise I understand if that’s the case. I’m also on the same boat,” he said. At this confession Nakamura turned to look at the taller boy and Matsumura returned his gaze and smiled at him. There was a tint on his cheeks that made him look surprisingly boyish.
“When did you figure out you were gay?,” Matsumura asked. Nakamura startled out of his trance and shyly responded.
“Beginning of middle school. Although I wasn’t sure until the end during closing ceremony. The boy I liked was actually really not a good guy, so I gave up.” Nakamura looked lost in thought. “He was mean and would say some pretty homophobic things.”
Matsumura listened attentively. “Damn that’s rough, but good riddance I suppose,” he said.
“How about you?,” Nakamura inquired.
Matsumura searched his memory. He made a mental recap of his moment of self-discovery, and what led him to having an emotional attachment of Hirose. “Well for me it was that the guy I liked moved away, so I never got to figure anything out with him.” He shrugged his shoulders in feigned defeat. “But Hirose became a good friend, and I don’t know the rest is history for now.”
“However, Hirose had always been my number one. But something told me that nothing would ever happen with him. So, it was enough to just fawn over him.”
Nakamura, surprisingly, didn’t opinionate. He was sure he’d call him a creep or some other nasty name like he always did. It didn’t come. He just listened quietly as he petted Rai-Chan’s soft fur.
This made Matsumura itchy with uncertainty. The air around them was electric, like at any moment something would snap into place between them.
He wasn’t used to having an amicable conversation with Nakamura, like they were friends. He felt weird, but it wasn’t a bad weird. It was like the possibility of something new between them. A friendship or camaraderie of sorts. It was also not normal for them to be quiet and comfortable in each other’s presence, but it was nice to sit with him. Just talking or waiting for the other to continue.
“I don’t know why I ever thought that Hirose and I could be more,” Nakamura broke the silence.
“Maybe because, all my life I’ve been pushed to the side and shunned for being who I am. However, Hirose was never like that with me. He would hear me out and include me in certain things. As a kid I had always been bullied and I couldn’t say I had a meaningful friend, until he came along.”
Nakamura’s hands laid gently on the puppy’s belly. The gentle rise and fall of his breathing indicating the pup had finally tuckered out.
“I guess you can say I fell in love with the idea of having someone to share things with. Without fear of being perceived. Being made feel like your thoughts and wishes are valid and worthy of coming true,” Nakamura paused. “Also, I’m sure you can agree but Hirose is like super cute – nay! He’s handsome, so easy on the eyes.”
Matsumura chuckled, “I second that.”
“Yea.” Nakamura added, then he fell silent again.
Matsumura thought of what to say that wouldn’t add more stress to his inner turmoil. He understood the other boy though. He was not new to the effect of bullying. When you were born different according to society standards, you tended to stand out more. It was difficult to completely hide all of you, especially since there was always going to be someone somewhere one step ahead of you and a little too observant. Like you carry a giant red neon arrow pointing at you and signaling to others that you are there.
It was the main reason he kept his life and all aspects of it, to himself. His likes and dislikes, even Hirose knew nothing of them. He always agreed with what Hirose liked, even if it couldn’t be farther from his truth. He didn’t want to be the target of anything, so it was better to just feign ignorance and just agree. Versus the opposite and speak his mind and be outed as anything else.
Nevertheless, he felt that maybe he could be open with Nakamura. Since he was the closest, he was going to be to finding a possible friendship. It was almost comical. This is what the many books he read said about hate becoming friendship, or worse yet love. Yea that wasn’t possible anyway. Nakamura hated his guts; this was just a onetime occurrence. Tomorrow, they would go back to fighting over Hirose’s attention and act like the usual enemies they are. For now, it was enough to show Nakamura that he wasn’t completely alone in all this.
“I understand exactly how you feel. I still hold hope that I’ll find someone that will make me feel loved and like my opinions matter. So don’t give up. It may not be Hirose, but whoever comes along, I’m sure will make you happy. Besides, you’re not so bad on the eyes either, you are very handsome Nakamura.”
He hadn’t realized when he said it. If his traitorous mouth just decided to go rouge and say things of its own accord, he was glad to notice that it definitely had a positive effect on Nakamura. He was blushing and looking at him like he had just grown another head and didn’t know how to tell Matsumura about it.
“What!!,” Nakamura shrieked, scaring poor Rai-Chan awake from his nap. The pup jumped and whined. Matsumura surprisingly gave a hearty laugh. He held his stomach from the ache of laughing so hard.
“There it is, I was wondering when you would spaz out. You were being too melancholic. You’re much more entertaining when you’re all over the place, all nervous and stuff,” he laughed, as Nakamura hugged Rai in an apologetic effort to calm him. Nakamura just pouted, cheeks still rosy from the previous ambushed compliment.
When he was done laughing, he began to pull himself back up to his feet. He held a hand out for Nakamura to take. Nakamura blushed again and took his hand and got up from the ground. Rai-Chan was wagging his tail and looking at both of them smiling tongue out and panting. Nakamura looked down at him smiled. He then looked up to meet Matsumura’s gaze and shyly realized he had to look up a bit. The other boy was taller, and he had never noticed until now.
Their constant bickering and fighting over Hirose didn’t leave time for much observation. This was his first real look at the other boy, and yea he was pretty. Like a combination of handsome and pretty at the same time. It was a lethal combination.
He had soft fair skin, no blemishes and soft black wavy hair. His eyes were kind with long pretty lashes that accented his eyes, made them expressive. Suddenly he felt subconscious about himself, and aware of how his heart skipped a beat when he observed the young man.
Matsumura turned to look at Nakamura’s bike, then he walked towards it. He pulled it back upright and placed the brake on it. “It’s getting pretty late. Can I walk you home? I want to make sure you get home safe. I bet after all that crying, you must feel exhausted.” He actually did; he hadn’t noticed with all the ogling he was doing. He was too distracted to realize the ache in his bones from powering up that hill on his bike. His legs felt like gelatin.
“Yes please,” Nakamura said shyly. He gave Matsumura directions to his home and surprisingly they lived a near distance from each other. They kept small talk, like why if they lived so close to each other, they’d never seen each other until recently. Or why Matsumura didn’t go to his school if that was the case. Nakamura realized shortly that the other boy came from a well-endowed family, and he was paying for tuition at his school. Nakamura’s family could never afford that.
They surprisingly had the same taste in music and appreciated classic oldies, and a similar point of view. Rai-Chan eventually got tired of walking and begged to be carried. He was getting a bit heavier, but Nakamura didn’t seem to mind, and held the young pup while Matsumura walked with the others bike to his side.
When they finally made it to Nakamura’s house, they stood in front of each other. Not looking at each other and just trying to decide on how to approach their goodbye. Nakamura placed the young Akita on the floor and bowed at Matsumura.
“Thank you! I appreciate you staying with me during my time of need,” he said still bent. When he came up, he looked at Matsumura and said, “If you ever need a friend as well, please remember you can count on me,” he finished with his voice slightly elevated. A sign of nerves.
Matsumura looked shocked at first. Nakamura considered him a friend. That was definitely a step towards a positive direction he guessed. He smiled and gestured that it was not a big deal. “I’m glad I could help.”
Nakamura nodded and walked his way to his home’s front gate, but before he opened it, he paused. He turned to Matsumura and stared. Matsumura, surprised, waited. Maybe he had forgotten something.
“For the record, you are also very handsome. Have a good night!,” he didn’t wait for Matsumura to respond, at least not that he could respond. He quickly turned and opened the gate. Went the steps up to his home door and went inside. He could hear a muffled voice, it sounded female. Probably his mother fussing over him.
Matsumura just couldn’t seem to bring himself to move. He stared at the door. His heart made a quick leap and his stomach turned with a nervous flutter. Meanwhile, Rai-Chan tried to get his master’s attention. He got up on his hind legs and scratched his pants. Like being pulled from his trance, Matsumura looked down at his dog and knelt to leash him again.
“Sorry boy, I guess I short circuited for a bit, didn’t I?,” he clipped the leash and fixed the Akita’s collar.
He sighed, “what do I do Rai-Chan? Maybe I like Nakamura?.”
Rai-Chan barked and wagged his tail. “You liked him very much huh? I don’t blame you, he’s – interesting to say the least.” He looked at the house one last time and walked away in the opposite direction with the pup trailing behind. Maybe it was a onetime occurrence, they wouldn’t see each other again for a bit. Maybe they could hang out again, but they didn’t even exchange info.
At least now he knew they were local and it wouldn’t hurt to come and visit him, right? Just to make sure he was doing okay. Yea that was safe, just a friendly visit. Making sure he was okay and stuff.
“Come on boy, let’s get home. It’s been a crazy night, also no funny business you understand. No more coming off your leash or no midnight treat.” He wagged his finger at the dog and began to walk home. He’d figure out a day to meet up with Nakamura again.