Chapter Text
It was an ordinary day at the wonder stage. Or at least it was supposed to be.
Tsukasa couldn’t deny that today has been at least rather challenging, especially when he was currently battling tiny chicken robots that Rui had made! Of course, he wasn’t actually hitting them, but the situation was bizarre nonetheless.
Rui somehow came up with a strange idea for their latest show. A play about a stoic knight looking for their lost lover, the princess. Sounds simple enough, right? Well with Rui that was far from the truth. On the Knight’s quests he had to help the citizens of the city where the princess lives, each task more ridiculous than the last. From saving a cat that was in a tiny tree, to singing a song to flowers. Anything could go. And now here he was, fighting chicken robots that kept swirling around his feet.
Tsukasa slashed the prop sword at them, making sure to miss on purpose. He kept a stoic yet frustrated expression as he fought the chickens. How did Rui even come up with this idea?!
As he fought the chickens he could hear the citizen, played by Emu, cheering him on.
“You got this brave knight! Go for their heads!” She said in the most joyful voice she could muster.
Tsukasa sighed, though internally he was amused. “They just won’t stay still,” He replied back in a dull voice. He did feel a bit frustrated. Rui said a lot of this show was through improv. Tsukasa wasn’t new to improv. He was quite good at it, but here it just made a bigger challenge.
Suddenly Emu spoke up with a gasp. “I have an idea!” Tsukasa turns to Emu and watches as a prop mic is thrown to her. She catches it with ease. “Bring the beat in!” Tsukasa’s eyes widened. Wait, what?!
Tsukasa watches as Nene walks towards Emu, trying her best to beatbox. Tsukasa could just feel his face turn a bit pink. How was he supposed to keep a straight face when Nene was horribly beatboxing?! He almost wanted to throttle Rui for coming up with such a challenge for the poor star. But Tsukasa was never one to give up a challenge as he clenched his teeth and continued to fight the chickens. “Stay still,” he says through clenched teeth. “Please.”
As he continues to miss the chickens he hears something. Not only is Nene beatboxing, but Emu started rapping!
“The knight keeps missin’ but soon we’re gonna make you into fried chicken-”
Tsukasa subconsciously used his other hand to lightly cover his mouth. Is this a joke?! She’s actually rapping! How is he supposed to stay stoic in these conditions?
Tsukasa is about to go back to slashing until he watches as the chickens move over to Emu and Nene and almost seem to dance. Well, if spinning in small circles counts as dancing . Tsukasa just stares dumbfounded for a moment, only to snap out of it when Emu speaks up.
“The knight’s gonna be spittin’.”
Emu shoves the prop mic in Tsukasa’s face. He flinches, trying his hardest to keep his composure. The way Emu was rapping and the words she used made him either want to laugh or die of cringe. And somehow this isn’t the hardest part of the show!
“Are you seriously asking me to rap?” Tsukasa says, trying to sound as deadpan as possible. The corners of his mouth slightly twitched but he managed to keep a serious expression. He’s a star afterall, and a star doesn’t break character no matter what!
Emu nodded while Nene kept poorly beatboxing. Tsukasa sighs. “Fine. If it gets me closer to seeing the princess.”
Tsukasa leaned into the prop mic and used the most monotone bored voice he could muster.
“I’d rather be sicken…”
Emu stared for a moment as Nene stopped beatboxing. It was almost as if the citizens were judging the knight for a moment. Suddenly they both shrugged and went back to beatboxing and rapping.
Tsukasa just watches. How can it get any harder than this? What was Rui planning?
The scene goes by and eventually Tsukasa gets to the last quest. He made sure to seem out of breath as he made his way up to the final citizen, who was also played by Emu.
“Okay, please don’t give me another ridiculous quest. I just want to find the princess. That’s all I ask of you.” His voice spat out with frustration and exhaustion.
Emu turned to him with a mischievous grin. “Oh? You want to know where the princess is?”
Tsukasa nods. “Yes. Just please don’t make me do something ridiculous.”
Emu taps her chin, as if thinking. She snaps her fingers. “Oh. I know where the princess is. But you have to do one small thing for me.”
Tsukasa lets out a long sigh. “I swear if it’s another dumb quest-” Emu quickly interrupts him.
“I want you to smile.”
Tsukasa blinks twice. That’s it? Just smile? He thought for a moment. In this scene the knight refuses to smile due to his own worries, but Tsukasa felt a bit confused by it. Wasn’t it easy for people to smile? Surely even the knight could. Doesn’t he want to see the princess?
Tsukasa took in a breath, sticking with the script. “I’m afraid I can’t do that for you.”
Emu frowns, looking with such sad eyes. It was almost cute, but not something that would break him. “Why not? It’s just a smile. Like this!” Emu puts on a big smile as her eyes light up.
Tsukasa grits his teeth as he turns away from Emu. “You don’t get it. I’m a knight. I don’t smile. I don’t laugh. I’m not weak.”
Emu blinks twice. “Well I never said you were, brave knight. I just never got the chance to see you smile once since coming home to the city.”
Tsukasa turns, facing where the audience would be. Of course it was empty since this was just rehearsal.
“I don’t get it. This town was destroyed a year ago by a monster. Thousands died and suffocated from laughter alone. And yet, you all act as if that never happened. Did everyone forget? Did everyone move on while I drown in my own grief and misery?”
Emu slowly frowns as she shakes her head. “Oh knight, we never forgot. We know it was awful what happened, but the monster isn’t here anymore. And besides, despite everything, as long as we can still smile and laugh, we’ll be okay. We’re taking back the control we lost in a sense. Maybe even you could give it a try, knight.”
Tsukasa steps back. “Can I really just move on? What if the monster comes back?”
Emu lets out a warm smile. Despite her usual energetic self, she looked so calm. “If it does we’ll fight back together. We’re stronger in numbers, you know.”
Tsukasa sighs. “I need a moment to think. But I assure you I will complete your quest when I have the chance.”
Emu nods. “I hope you do. I’ll be waiting.”
Tsukasa walks, but stays mostly in place as Emu walks off stage, making it seem like he was walking away, while Nene moved a few props in the background to change the scenery.
Tsukasa stood center stage as he looked up. This scene almost reminded him of his role as Thorpe. Both characters looking up to the stars.
“Moving on. Is such a thing possible for me?’ Tsukasa looks up. “Maybe a smile wouldn’t hurt after all…”
Tsukasa made it seem like he was about to smile, granted for a moment he accidentally did, but the moment was quickly interrupted by a familiar villainous laugh. Rui.
Rui had made sure for whatever reason that he would play the antagonist. The monster in the show. Tsukasa kind of understood. When Rui gives himself a role, he plays it well. And in this case he would be a threat to Tsukasa’s composure. He always knew how to make the star crack.
Tsukasa watched as Rui walked in slowly with his hands behind his back. “Well well well! Look what we have here.”
Tsukasa quickly moves his sword, pointing it towards Rui. Rui stared with a sly smirk as he chuckled. “Oh? Already scared of me, dear knight?”
Rui walked closer as Tsukasa stood there. He made sure to look tense and scared. But he didn’t really know why he should feel scared. Yes, the knight fears this monster, but this monster was almost as ridiculous as the rest of this show. Tsukasa breathed in as he gripped tighter on his sword.
“You,” Tsukasa replied coldly. “You know what you’ve done. To this city. To me….”
Rui’s smirk widens as he lets out another laugh. “Oh? What I did? All I did was help the poor souls here lighten up a little. There’s no harm in a little bit of laughter.”
Tsukasa glares. “You forced thousands to laugh to death.”
Rui raises an eyebrow, keeping his amused expression. “That’s quite the accusation, knight.” Rui suddenly placed a finger under Tsukasa’s chin and slowly flicked it up, making Tsukasa look at him directly. Tsukasa felt his body shudder from the touch. His fingers were cold, yet soft. Too soft for a scene like this. But Tsukasa was strong. A small touch wouldn’t make him crumble.
“All I did was give them a little medicine for their own worries, fears, and depression.” Rui said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “Besides, it’s not like you can think about such things when you’re crying with laughter.”
Tsukasa’s shoulder hunch up as Rui lets out another chuckle. Rui’s voice was so sweet. Tsukasa almost wanted to hear it more, but he needed to focus. Now wasn’t the time to think about such things.
“You forced them to laugh until they died! Made them suffocate! How can you say that any of that wasn’t harmful?!”
Rui sighs. “I gave them what they all wanted. They died happy, knight.” Rui’s smirk widens as he leans closer. “And soon-” He raises his hands, shaping them like claws. “You will too.”
That was Tsukasa’s cue. He swung his sword towards Rui. “Never!” Tsukasa watches as Rui effortlessly dodges him, now ending up behind him.
“Never? oh, how sad. Like you ever had a choice.” Rui places his hands against Tsukasa’s sides, keeping a loose grip. A shiver runs down his back as he realizes what Rui is planning.
So that's why Rui said this was the hardest scene….
Tsukasa quickly turns, slashing his sword again, only for Rui to dodge again.
“What was that supposed to be? An attack?” Rui snickers as he leans closer to Tsukasa’s ear. “You’ve been getting lazy, huh knight.”
Tsukasa’s breath hitched from Rui’s breath against his neck. The anticipation was already getting to him. But he could manage. He’s a star after all. He won’t break by some silly scene!
Tsukasa slashes again and again. The way he swung and Rui dodged was almost like a dance. A dance Tsukasa was failing at. Tsukasa kept his guard up. He didn’t know when Rui would go in for the kill, but he knew it was only a matter of time.
As Tsukasa swung and missed again, he felt just the slightest poke to his side. Tsukasa jolted. Oh. Oh no…
“Interesting reaction knight,” Rui mocks. “That twitch was just oh so adorable.”
Tsukasa was about to speak, until he felt another poke to his side. Tsukasa flinched away as he clenched his teeth. “I will defeat you.”
Tsukasa swung again. Another miss, along with more pokes to his sensitive skin. Tsukasa’s eyes widen as he lets out a gasp. Even though it was just poking, it still felt too soft and light, teetering him on the edge of laughter. It fit the scene well even if it was hell for Tsukasa.
“Will you now?” Rui snickered. “How will you do that when your body is already betraying you? How will you keep going when these sensitive sides are being teased? Did you really think I would just let you get a free strike on me?”
Tsukasa was about to speak again, until Rui ran a single finger down his spine. Tsukasa arched his back as he bit down on his lips, trying his best to hold it all in. Rui just laughed at his pathetic attempt at composure. “Oh? What’s that face for, knight? Is it too much for you already?”
Tsukasa felt his face turn pink. Despite the situation he was in, it almost felt intimate…
No! Focus on the scene! Not on how Rui’s voice was way too handsome or how his words were driving him to the edge! Focus Tsukasa!
Tsukasa did another swing but he felt a finger graze his side as he did. Tsukasa squeaked as he tripped on his own feet, his sword sliding away from him, just out of reach. Tsukasa started to try and stand up until he felt two cold hands trace against his sides. Tsukasa froze as his entire body jolted, causing him to fall again. Rui chuckled as he continued to trace patterns against the soft flesh. “Aw. Is this really all it takes to make the stoic knight crumble? How hilarious.”
Tsukasa felt his body tremble as he used all his willpower to keep a straight face. This scene felt impossible! How was he supposed to keep his composure when Rui is poking and prodding him! What a predicament he ended up in! How cruel!
Tsukasa started to reach for the prop sword, until he felt the hellish feeling of Rui’s fingers spidering directly at his armpit. Tsukasa felt his body tense up. He tried to keep it all in, but the feeling got worse and worse and-
“Pfft-” Tsukasa finally cracked as a high pitched laugh escaped him. He started to swat at Rui’s hands. “Rui! That’s not fair!”
Rui snickers as he moves his hand away. “You really broke from that?” He leans closer. “I knew you were sensitive, but not like this.”
Tsukasa’s face turns pink from embarrassment as Rui moves off of him, helping the star sit up. He was flustered and still a bit on edge. Was this all just an excuse for Rui to embarrass him?! To break the very star before him? How tragic!
“I wasn’t expecting it,” Tsukasa replied, as he huffed. He couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed in himself for breaking so quickly. He’s supposed to be an actor. A star! Is that really the best he can do?!
Rui ruffled Tsukasa’s hair. “Now, now. Let’s finish up the show, alright Tsukasa?”
Tsukasa nods as he sighs. Such a failure he was…
After a few minutes rehearsal continued as he finished the show. He slayed the monster with the help of the citizens, found the princess, and finally smiled in the finale of the show. Despite everything, he did well in his opinion. It wasn’t like his first time playing Thorpe. He felt as if he played the role as best as he could. Rui must be impressed, right?
The troupe sat in a small circle on stage as Rui gave his thoughts on their performance. He seemed to praise Emu and Nene for coming up with the beatboxing idea and how well Emu played the last citizen. Tsukasa kept his head up high. He still felt confident in his performance despite losing his composure during the climax.
Rui turned to Tsukasa. “Now Tsukasa….” Rui seemed to give a serious expression, a face he made when he was about to give his critique. “You played the knight pretty well. Your reactions and voice were mostly consistent.” Tsukasa noticed that word. Mostly….
Rui sighs. “Although you had a few slip ups.” Tsukasa felt his ego shatter for a second, but quickly brought back his confidence. “Give me a break. You were making it hard for me back there.”
Rui raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You think I’m talking about the climax?” Rui smirks as he shakes his head. “No. I’m talking about the first act.” Tsukasa’s eyes widened. Huh? A few slip ups during act one?! He swore he kept it together well.
Rui places his hands on his lap. “Don’t think I missed that smile when Emu was rapping.”
Tsukasa’s face turned to a bright pink. He actually smiled during that?! How did he let an obvious mistake slip through the cracks! He was better than this!
“But that’s not all…” Rui continued. “You sounded off before the climax, almost as if you weren’t truly afraid at all.”
Tsukasa frowns. That too? Sure, he didn’t quite get why the knight was the way he is, but he swore he used the right tone. “What do you mean?”
Rui crosses his arms and sighs. “When you stood alone, gazing at the stars. I couldn’t help but notice how something felt off. Like you were saying the words, but not feeling the moment.”
Tsukasa felt a strange feeling in him. Guilt? Disappointment? Who knows. All he knew was that he somehow messed up. “I don’t really understand Rui.”
Rui lets out a faint smile. “Let me put it in a different perspective,” he says calmly “What do you think the knight was thinking?”
Tsukasa pondered for a moment. What was the knight thinking? Why was he looking to the sky? Tsukasa sighs. “He probably just felt like he could actually move on after everything and felt hopeful, I think.”
Rui stares for a moment. It’s quiet for a split second. Rui smiles kindly. “My star, is that really what you think?”
Tsukasa raises an eyebrow. “Of course. Isn’t that what the knight felt?”
Rui blinked slowly. He lets out a soft sigh as he stands up. “I see. You don’t quite get the role yet.”
What?! What was he missing?! What was he getting wrong?!
Tsukasa stands up as well. “What am I not getting?”
Rui stares for a moment, before slowly smirking a bit. “I think instead of giving you the answer, you should contemplate on it a bit more. Think really hard about the knight’s character. His fears, mannerisms, worries. Think until you get it. I trust you can do it, Tsukasa.”
Tsukasa stood for a moment, before slowly nodding. Of course. He needed to examine the character to the best of his ability. That should be easy, right?
The day soon came to an end and the troupe cleaned up the stage and gave their goodbyes. Tsukasa walked home quietly, staring at the sky above him. It was night. The stars shone above him. He sighed and muttered his lines. “Moving on? Is such a thing possible for me?” Tsukasa shook his head. How was that not a hopeful statement? What was he missing?
Eventually Tsukasa finally got home, heading straight to his room. He got lucky that night since Saki was out with her band. Tsukasa sat on his bed as he pulled out the script, just staring at it for a while.
He needs to understand the knight. He can’t let his troupe down. He can’t let Rui down. Especially with how he’s been during rehearsals. The fact he keeps having moments of smiling during rehearsal was definitely a problem. Something that was unacceptable for a star such as himself.
Tsukasa sighs as he lays on his bed.
“I just need to dig deeper…”
Tsukasa closed his eyes as he tried to envision himself as the knight. He could almost see it so vividly. The bright sky. The city full of lilies. The forest on the outskirts of the kingdom.
Tsukasa blinked as he looked down at himself. He was wearing a white fancy outfit with lilies tied to it. He almost looked more like a prince than a knight. Either way it was perfect.
Tsukasa looked around as he ventured out into the forest. Maybe if he could just see the monster for himself or make the same mistake as the knight then maybe he would finally get it.
Soon deep into the forest he found what he was looking for. A tall figure that looked like Rui, but…
No. It was just Rui. There was nothing scary about him.
Tsukasa huffs. “Come on. Dig deeper…”
Tsukasa tried to conjure something, anything to make Rui a scary monster. He gave him multiple arms, tried to make him fluffier. Something that would be scary and also force people to laugh.
But no. It wasn’t scary. Rui just looked ridiculous. Handsome, yet ridiculous…
Tsukasa sighed as the world faded back into his room. It didn’t work. The monster just wasn’t a threat. It was just silly.
“Come on. We’re supposed to be a star. We can do this.”
Tsukasa sat up as he looked back down at the script. The stoic knight was so different from him. Avoiding laughter all because of a monster. How do you even make laughter scary?
Tsukasa thought harder about it. His troupe’s goal was to make people smile. Laughter was a huge part of that goal. So to fear it. To hate it. How was he to find that?
Tsukasa just gripped the script tighter.
No. He can do this. He just has to dig deeper. Find what would make laughter scary.
Tsukasa closed his eyes again as he slowly envisioned a new world. One that looked like Shibuya, but there was a single difference. Tsukasa himself.
In this world if he laughed that would mean the despair of everyone he loves. Everyone would become joyless, broken, and maybe even dead. All because of him. That would certainly scare him from laughing, right?
As Tsukasa walked through the city he noticed people staring at him with fear, some even avoiding him. It was irritating, even if it wasn’t real. He just kept walking, trying to find one of his troupe members or Saki or anyone he recognized. And he got his wish as he noticed Rui in the distance.
Followed by Rui pinning Tsukasa to the ground, the director’s eyes wide with a manic expression. Tsukasa could feel his pulse racing as Rui looked down at him. In this world, if he laughs everyone will despair. And if that happens then maybe he’ll get it. Just maybe.
“Well well well! Look what we have here,” He heard Rui say above him as Rui slowly ran a finger up Tsukasa’s jaw, sending a shiver down the blonde’s spine. “To think my own star won’t laugh anymore. What, you think you can hold back forever? Save this world from what you’ll doom it to? How naive.”
Tsukasa grits his teeth as he stares up at Rui. “I won’t. I can’t let them fall into despair. My classmates. My friends. Saki…”
But before Tsukasa could say anything else, Rui just shoved his fingers into Tsukasa’s underarms and…
No. It still wasn’t scary. Even as laughter spilled out of Tsukasa. Even when everyone around him slowly dropped dead or fell into despair. Their sobs and screams from death and despair. Despite the threat it didn’t change a thing. Laughter wasn’t scary. This whole concept just felt stupid and silly.
Tsukasa felt surprised as Rui pulled his hands back. He opened one of his eyes only to find something else.
He was back in the forest at night and on top of him was himself, but as the knight. He was glaring at Tsukasa.
“Am I a joke to you?” The knight spat at Tsukasa coldly. “You think you”ll actually understand me just by making everyone despair?”
Tsukasa blinked rapidly. Huh?! This was supposed to get him to understand the knight. Surely making everyone fall into despair by laughing would terrify him.
And yet it didn’t work.
“I’m just trying to understand you. I don’t fear laughter like you do.”
The knight looked almost offended by Tsukasa’s response.
“You’re hopeless. If you really want to get it and actually become a star, you need to do better than this pathetic excuse of a performance.” The knight said coldly as he leaned closer to Tsukasa. “If you were really a star, you would know what to do. You would be in character by now. Not giggling like an idiot.”
Tsukasa looked away from the knight as he felt his stomach twisting into knots. The knight wasn’t wrong. He should get it. He should be good enough. He should be able to see laughter as scary.
So why….Why was it so hard?
The knight huffed as he slowly stood up, staring down at Tsukasa.
“If you want to get it, then you need to dig deeper than that. If you haven’t lost your people or dealt with a monster constantly chasing you, then you’re not worthy enough to be me. You’ll never be a star at this rate.”
Tsukasa’s eyes widened. What?
Tsukasa quickly sat up as he glared at the knight.
“What do you expect me to do?! Force Rui to tickle everyone to death?! Monsters aren’t real!”
The knight’s eyes slowly dim.
“Then make it real. If Rui is the monster, make him one. You don’t even need an audience. You know what you’re afraid of.”
Tsukasa just gripped the grass beneath him as the knight started to walk away, leaving Tsukasa with that advice.
Make Rui the monster…
Tsukasa took a breath as he tried to conjure the idea. He could just see Rui in the forest with him. Now to use his own fears against him.
Tsukasa slowly thought long and hard on it, but soon he saw Rui shift into something else. Slowly but surely the director he knew and loved became taller. He had multiple eyes and thin arms. He was fluffy and had wide manic eyes.
A horrifying sight.
A spider.
Tsukasa blinked twice as he saw what his mind created and almost felt disappointed.
“Huh. I thought you would look scarier-”
But he was interrupted as Rui grabbed him with all his arms, pulling Tsukasa closer. “It’s not enough for you, huh? My appearance doesn’t tickle your fancy?”
Rui lifts Tsukasa's head, one of his spider-like limbs under the blonde’s chin.
“Well maybe this will really get something out of you.”
Tsukasa tilted his head until he felt something. A bunch of tiny legs crawling all over him. Tsukasa looked down as he saw a bunch of spiders crawling all over him, their fur as fluffy as feathers. Tsukasa couldn’t even hold back as he screamed and laughed, thrashing to get the spiders off of him. To run away. But he couldn't. Rui wouldn’t let him go as he was forced to watch and laugh as the spiders just crawled and contaminated him and…
Tsukasa opened his eyes as he let out a gasp. His heart was racing. He was sweating and felt like puking. He was terrified. This was perfect.
He finally got it. He found what would make laughter scary. Spiders. It felt so obvious.
Tsukasa got up as he pulled out his phone. This was it. He needed a monster. A reason to fear laughter. Tsukasa turned on his phone and went to send Rui a quick text.
Tsukasa: Hey Rui. Remember those spider plushies we used for a show a few months ago?
Tsukasa felt warmth in his chest as Rui quickly replied.
Rui: Of course I remember, Tsukasa. What about them?
Tsukasa faintly smiled as he started to text Rui back. This time he’ll surely get the knight. All he needs to do is scare himself first. Maybe then he’ll be worthy enough to play the knight.
To truly be a star…