Chapter Text
“Ryland, come on, I promise you your nerd shit is still going to be here when we get back,” Colt’s strong hands began to man-handle Ryland’s hunched-over shoulders, pulling at his twin in earnest, “This is our one night out! I’m not letting you skip again. You need fresh air to function. And glucose!” Colt held up a bottle of wine as an example, “You must have learned that in Bio, right?”
Ryland sighed, resigning his chair to being pulled out from the desk he was working at, knowing he was hardly a physical match against Colt, especially after he promised Colt he’d go to the gym with him at least once a week this semester, and had broken that promise every week except for one. Besides, he was exhausted from the week of midterm preparations he’d had, he didn’t have any fight left in him. Biochemistry would just have to wait.
When Colt and Ryland started university, they made a pact with their older brother to ensure they’d have a weekly check-in. Every Sunday night, they’d meet at the park and discuss their lives. Their hopes, their joys, their failures. Ryland told them everything. He didn’t think he could hide something from them even if he tried, but he had missed far too many of their planned meet-ups over the past three years, and he knew that was worse than keeping things from them. They’d always shown up for him. His undergraduate education had so far consisted of barely any sleep, broken promises, and disappointing his brothers who seemed to have everything figured out. He could at least give them this.
Ryland reached out for the bottle of wine, and Colt let him take it. He tried to hide the surprise in his eyes, but Ryland could always see right through him.
“This is Chardonnay,” Ryland said.
“So? I thought you liked Chardonnay.”
“Chardonnay is fine, but it has like…no sugar in it.”
“So?”
“Glucose, Colt. Where’s the glucose?”
“Can you just hurry up before I beat your ass?”
“I’m just saying, if you’re going to tell me to consume more glucose, at least bring a moscato.”
“I hate that you know that.”
“A riesling, even,” Ryland put his hands out as if to suggest a compromise.
“This is why you’re single.”
The twins made their way out of their dorm room and into the brisk, early spring air outside. A light fog hung around them as they walked towards their destination, alit by the full moon above. Ryland’s feet slowed to a stop, his head in the clouds.
“What’s the matter?”
Ryland took a moment to admire the sky before answering, “Nothing. It’s just so bright out. Wish I could see the stars.”
Colt pushed his back from behind, unsatisfied by the speed at which Ryland was going, “Move it, ya big softie, the sky isn’t going anywhere.”
“Isn’t the solar system moving at like…2 million miles per hour?”
“I think it’s cute that you think I’d know that well enough to fact check you.”
“Your GPA is higher than mine,” Ryland said, a fact that Colt did not let him forget.
“My GPA is higher than yours because you’re taking Organic Chemistry II: Revenge of the Sulfides, and I’m taking electives titled Music Appreciation.”
Ryland tried to hide his smile, but he was still thinking about Revenge of the Sulfides.
“I’ve never taken an astronomy course.”
Colt wasn’t sure if Ryland was stating that as a point, or trying to start a new conversation.
“You should. You’d like it.”
“I can’t.”
Colt scoffed, so Ryland continued, “I don’t have time in my–”
“Schedule, yeah, I know. We all know.”
Ryland stopped in his tracks a second time. Colt turned, hands in his pockets, to wait for him.
“I’m sorry,” his voice was genuine, “For being busy all the time. I really thought…college would be different. I don’t blow you guys off because I want to.”
Colt grinned, satisfied with the guilt on Ryland’s face, “I know,” he closed the gap between them, slinging an arm over Ryland’s shoulders to help pull him along again, “We know it’s the price we’ll have to pay to one day have a brother who wins a Nobel Prize,” he shook his shoulders playfully, “Hey, that comes with a cash reward right?”
Ryland laughed, “I’ll be a broke research scientist making less than a manager at a fast food chain and you’ll be an international soccer superstar; I don’t think you’ll be relying on me to finance your high-maintenance lifestyle.”
Colt faked offence, “I am not high maintenance!”
Ryland gave him a look, “If you say so.”
Colt went to retaliate when Ryland spoke up again, his eyes trained on something in the distance, “Hey! Hey, look, shh. Is that Court?”
Ryland pointed across the park lawn where two figures were intertwined on a bench underneath a large oak tree.
Colt nodded.
Ryland scratched the back of his head, eyes looking everywhere besides the bench, “He and Henry are pretty serious then.”
“You sound shocked.”
“No, I know they’ve been together for a couple years now, I’ve just never seen Court so…publicly affectionate.”
Colt snorted, “They’re just kissing, Ry. And it’ll be four years in September.”
Ryland’s head whipped towards him, “What?”
Colt nodded.
Ryland did the math in his head again, “I guess you’re right. Wow. Time flies when…”
“--When your schedule.”
“Yeah,” Ryland’s stomach dropped at that, wondering what else he’d been ignorant to. He’d been hunting his dream for so long, ignoring everything else that dared pull him off its scent, but the distance never seemed to close. The career he wanted still seemed so far out of reach. Had he really made any progress? He glanced up at the moon again, a habit of his when his confidence began to wane, it was hard not to be enchanted by her. He was grateful for the extra light; it made the park seem less intimidating than usual.
“What are they gonna do when…” Ryland’s words got caught in his throat.
Colt looked at him, knowing what he was trying to say but not giving him the easy way out.
“...when they graduate this semester?” Ryland managed to finish.
This time it was Colt who stopped in his tracks.
“Court didn’t tell you?”
Ryland shook his head, “Tell me what?”
“He’s moving to New York with him. You know Henry got into that grad program at NYU.”
“Yeah, yeah, I knew he got in but…I didn’t think Court was gonna go with him all the way to New York. It just doesn’t seem like him!” Ryland tried to laugh it off.
Colt looked disappointed in him for the first time in a long time, “Yes, it does.”
They stood there in silence, the moonlight highlighting the disbelief in Colt’s face.
“Anyways, I’m not doing your dirty work for you anymore, you can ask him yourself. It’s why we have these meetings anyways,” Colt muttered the last phrase, “If you bothered to show up.”
“Hey,” Ryland’s voice was sharp, his feelings hurt, “I show up! I missed…a few times, sure, but I show up!”
“Yeah, you show up. Just don’t seem to listen though.”
The raised voices had caught Court’s attention, the two lovers separated almost instantly and were making their way over, silent and blushed.
“You two arguing already? You just got here,” Court said.
“Hey, Court,” Ryland opened his arms for a hug, “I’m sorry I missed last week. Molec had a–”
“--lab report, yeah, I know. It’s fine,” Court hugged him back, his strong arms smacking his back a little harder than Ryland would have preferred. He really should start going to the gym with Colt in the mornings…
“What are we waiting for?” Colt opened his backpack and pulled out a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka in each hand.
Henry reached for the bottle of wine, “You’re all disgusting.”
“Oh come on, Henry, you gotta do one shot first at least!”
“There are dozens of liquors better suited for shotting than vodka.”
“Disagree,” Colt unscrewed the top of the silver bottle, taking a swig before passing it to Ryland.
“I do agree with you, Henry, but I’m desperate,” Henry gave him an understanding look before Ryland’s face contorted in disgust as he swallowed a mouthful, passing it to Court.
“I also agree with you, but Colt bought the drinks this time,” Court took three gulps with ease, as if it was water.
“Wow, thanks guys, I can really feel the appreciation.”
“Thank you,” Court stressed, while handing back the bottle.
“What else did you bring?” Henry asked.
“Well,” Colt riffled through his bag, “Considering volleyball nearly gave Ryland a concussion last month…”
“I was fine!”
“...I thought frisbee would be a safer option.”
“Frisbees are definitely harder than volleyballs…” Court noted.
“Yeah but this is a disc! Ryland’s just bad with balls,” Colt said.
Henry snorted.
“Spherical objects used in sports!” Colt clarified.
“Someone pass me the vodka again, I think I need another shot,” Ryland reached for the bottle a second time, jealous of Colt’s warm fingers that brushed past his numb ones. Colt was standing in the chilly weather in nothing but a thin t-shirt and still managed to emanate heat, while Ryland was in long sleeves and a cardigan, reproaching at the feeling of the chilled bottle on his skin. Ryland was convinced that Colt had stolen all the heat in the womb.
He took another sip.
Court grabbed the bottle off of his lips, spilling a few drops on Ryland’s shirt and the grass below.
“No more drinking, we don’t want a repeat of last month,” Ryland put his arms out, offended, but Court continued, “We play first, drink after.”
“Alright, mom,” Ryland chided. The shots of vodka soaked in quickly, but not quick enough to stop the sting that followed his own words. He avoided Court’s steady gaze.
The four men turned towards the sky as thunder reverberated through the air.
“Well shit,” Court muttered.
“It wasn’t supposed to rain today,” Ryland noted.
“Well it’s not raining yet,” Colt was ever the optimist.
Henry’s eyes were trained to the sky above them, “It’s gonna storm.”
Colt sighed, “Come on, there’s not even clouds in the sky! How’s it gonna storm without clouds?”
Henry didn’t answer.
It was just a feeling.
“We could go back to our place? Just drink and talk,” Ryland suggested.
Colt shook his head, “It’s been a long day of sitting for me, I want to run a bit! If there’s rain or lightning we’ll call it.”
“Deal,” Ryland nodded.
Henry took the frisbee out of Colt’s hands, “Go long.”
The three of them watched as Colt ran full speed away from them, smiles on their faces.
“I’m just glad he didn’t bring a soccer ball…” Henry said, winding up before letting the frisbee soar far over Colt’s head. The man let out a little yell, surprised at the distance, before picking up his speed and jumping to catch it. His feet hit the ground too fast to catch himself on the way down, rolling in the grass until he stood up victoriously, frisbee in hand.
“Dramatic little shit,” Court shook his head, “Alright,” he sighed, beginning to jog away from them, “I’m open!” he yelled to Colt.
The four students spread apart from each other, forgetting all about the weather, or lack thereof.
Court passed it to Henry who passed it to Ryland. Desperate to forget the volleyball incident, Ryland pulled his leg up, catching the frisbee underneath it with a flare that was immediately ruined by him celebrating with multiple fist pumps. Colt and Henry laughed while Court simply shook his head.
“Me! Me!” Colt waved at Ryland. Ryland obliged, throwing the frisbee fast in his direction. Colt jumped up as the frisbee approached, doing a back tuck. The frisbee hit his foot anticlimactically, spiraling to the grass with an unimpressive thump.
The three men doubled over, letting their laughter fill the empty park.
“Wait!” Colt yelled out, beginning to giggle himself, his cheeks turning pink, “Wait! I can do it! Let me try again.”
“Just pass it!” Court yelled.
Colt let it fly, wincing as it climbed far higher than he meant. Henry ran after it, with Court running tangentially until he caught up with his boyfriend. He picked him up with ease, pushing him up until Henry was high enough to catch the frisbee. The twins erupted in celebratory cheers which dissolved into more laughter. Henry nearly tumbled off of Court’s shoulder, but Court caught him, letting him down clumsily as they both giggled in each other’s arms. Henry held up the frisbee above his head, mirroring Ryland’s celebration from before. Ryland was laughing so hard tears blurred his squinted vision, his abs aching.
CRASH!
Ryland’s vision went white. The sheer force of sound cut through his body from head to toe, leaving him momentarily deaf and blind besides the buzzing that reverberated within his skull. The vibrations resonated throughout his body as he prayed for whatever happened to pass. He stared ahead, unsure if his eyes were still open or if he had closed them in a feeble attempt to protect them from the bright light that had struck his retina. The buzzing throughout his body slowly morphed into feeling. He braced for the pain to start, but didn’t feel any. He tried to be comforted by this fact, but it only scared him more. He felt the familiar tickle of grass against his neck; he was lying on his back. Ryland tried to blink but his eyes lagged behind his mind. He was staring at the night sky above him, the full moon as beautiful as ever, the peace it brought him entirely out of place for how petrified he was.
He started to breathe.
He wheezed in a heavy breath, eyes wide, as Colt fell quickly on his knees by Ryland’s side. His twin picked up his head, checking his body for injuries but not finding any.
“Breathe! Breathe, I know,” Colt met his terrified eyes, he was just as out of breath.
Ryland wheezed in a second breath, Colt breathing with him.
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Colt spoke but his meaning didn’t reach his eyes.
“What happened?” Ryland managed before coughing through the strain.
Colt shook his head, “I-I don’t know. I saw a bright light and I thought my eardrums burst but…I can hear fine now? It only lasted a few seconds.”
“Me too,” Ryland sat up.
“That’s good.”
“That’s good?!”
“No! I just meant at least I’m not crazy!”
Ryland’s eyes softened before panic set in again. He turned his head behind him but Colt already knew what he was going to ask.
“He’s up, I saw him with Henry so I came to check on you first.”
They both glanced towards Court holding Henry in his arms about a frisbee throw’s distance away from them.
“Thank God.”
Colt shook his head, “I…don’t understand what that was. What happened?”
The hair on Ryland’s skin stood up as he gathered his thoughts, “Lightning?”
“Maybe but…I don’t see any burn marks. On us or the grass. And there’s still no clouds!”
“It’s dark.”
“It’s not that dark. There’s a full moon! Besides, if it was lightning how were we not hurt by it?” Colt looked up at the clear sky, Ryland’s eyes followed. He rubbed the back of his neck, his head still ringing, “I’m not convinced we weren’t.”
Colt looked pale.
“Come on,” Ryland encouraged, “Let’s go see if they have any insights.”
Colt stood up on shaky legs, he took a moment to really look at them before deciding he trusted that they weren’t injured. Ryland took his hand, standing up with a grunt.
They made their way in tense silence towards Court and Henry.
Court sat with his legs folded underneath him, Henry’s head in the crook of his elbow.
Ryland gasped when he locked eyes with Henry’s lifeless ones, taking a step back out of disbelief. Henry’s eyes were glazed over, darker than their usual blue. His skin had a sickly, gray sheen, his lips a bruised purple color. There was a thin, branching burn from his temple to the side of his neck, disappearing under his t-shirt. Ryland maintained eye contact until he stumbled backwards in shock, the ground below him the only thing that seemed real. He gripped the grass as if it was the only thing keeping him from floating away. He focused on his breathing, closing his eyes and begging to wake up from whatever dream this was. When he got his breathing under control, he glanced over at his brother again.
Court hadn’t moved from his position. His hand still caressed Henry’s motionless face, brushing his hair from his eyes by habit and running his fingers through his long locks over and over. Every so often he’d whisper something that Ryland couldn’t make out, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead and cheek as if he was checking his temperature.
Colt was pacing, his hands in his hair, “This isn’t possible. This can’t– He can’t be…”
Ryland went to stand but a wave of sickness washed over him before he could. He doubled over onto the grass again, vomiting mostly bile. His sweat-soaked skin stung against the knit of his sweater as he stood up on shaky legs.
He pulled Colt to him, letting his twin mumble and cry into his shoulder until he found his voice.
“We should call someone!” Colt yelled down at Court, pushing Ryland away.
“Give me another minute, please,” Court said quietly.
“What are we waiting for!? He needs help–”
“Colt,” Ryland snapped, getting his attention. Colt’s sad, wet eyes met his and Ryland’s stomach churned again at the relief he felt at how lively they were, “Colt, he’s dead. We will call someone, but when we do…” Ryland’s eyes watered, his throat closing as he processed his own words, unsure if they were for Colt or himself, “There’s nothing anyone’s going to be able to do, okay? Let’s just give him a minute. You know, before it’s…”
Ryland’s voice trailed off. Colt broke down again, this time as Ryland held him close, allowing himself to cry with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The twins sat in silence, the only sounds coming from the consistent tick of Ryland’s analog alarm clock and the muffled trickle of water from the bathroom sink that Court must have been using.
There was nothing to say.
Ryland couldn’t stand the empty pit that had formed in his stomach, his mind avoiding the thought of how much worse it must feel for his brother. He himself had never had a relationship last more than a few months, let alone years. He tried to think of romantic comparisons, but there weren’t any for him to choose from. He thought briefly about what it might feel like if Court or Colt left him so soon, and immediately pushed it out of his head, feeling sick.
The sound of a pained sob cut through the bathroom door. Ryland’s heart sank impossibly deeper; Court must have been using the water to hide his tears. Ryland glanced at Colt, feeling guilty that Court still felt the need to hide his pain from them after all they’d been through.
He wondered if this feeling wasn’t so new to Court, if he had locked himself in their bathroom the day the twins were born, the day their mother died. He wondered if the only way he could cover his tears, his weakness, from their father was through the sound of the shower in the background, or the roar of the faucet in the sink. Most of all he wondered how all those years that should have hardened him into a cold man only made him kinder. How a kid in Court’s position could become a man who raised his brothers, each on their own unique scholarship for college. How he became a man who loved another for years and was loved just as fiercely in return. How the universe could do that to a kid, watch him overcome it and build his life anew with nothing but gratitude, and still take it all away in the blink of an eye.
Ryland shook his head, wiping away the ever-present tears that continued to leak from his sore, red eyes. He still wasn’t sure it was real. How can someone who was laughing and standing right in front of you one moment just be gone?
Another grunt came from the bathroom, and this time Colt and Ryland’s worried eyes met. They both felt it – something was wrong.
Ryland was out of his chair first, already knocking on the bathroom door.
“I’m fine,” Court’s gruff voice was wet with swallowed tears.
“Please let me in.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Court, open the door before I break it,” Colt said.
Ryland eyed his twin, a flash of anger and a set jaw evidence in his face, warning Colt to calm down.
The door creaked open an inch. It wasn’t locked.
Oh.
Ryland pushed it open the rest of the way, his eyes wide with concern at what he saw in front of him. Court stood facing the mirror, both hands gripping the small, porcelain sink in front of him. His left arm was scarred, burns branching like vines from his shoulder to his wrist.
“Shit,” Ryland didn’t know what else to say. He glanced at Colt.
Colt’s jaw was dropped, his eyes watering again.
“Why didn’t you…?” shock took the rest of the sentence away from Ryland. He took a breath, a hand on his head in disbelief, before he answered his own unfinished question for Court in his head.
It wasn’t important.
Ryland grabbed the clean roll of gauze from Court’s shaky hands; they were going to need a restocked first-aid kit.
He began wrapping Court’s arm, moving slower every time Court winced.
Colt’s concern had turned to anger, “Have you taken any painkillers?”
Court shook his head.
“Why not?!” Ryland yelled, dumbfounded.
Court didn’t answer. The twins sighed, hating that they knew why.
Physical pain was taking his mind off other things. At least, as much as it possibly could.
Ryland took the opportunity to distract himself by caring for Court’s wounds. He finished bandaging the wound in silence.
“I think someone who isn’t me should see that.”
“Yeah,” Court said, no intention of following through in his voice.
Ryland tried not to get frustrated and followed him back out of the bathroom and into their main dorm room. It was a small, rectangular space, two twin loft beds on each side with desks underneath them. Court hadn’t lived in the dorms for three years. He had an apartment with Henry about a quarter mile from the main campus. They’d managed to convince him to stay with them for at least a few nights, not wanting him to go back there alone.
Colt didn’t tolerate silence for long, “Do you need anything?”
Court slowly turned to him, sighing away his annoyance before turning back and sitting down on Ryland’s desk chair. He reached for the half-finished bottle of vodka on the floor, unscrewing it.
“Do you wanna talk–”
“No.”
“Well I think we should at least–”
“No.”
A tense silence filled the room, electricity in the air. Court drank out of the bottle casually, avoiding eye contact.
Colt’s leg shook, his foot tapping the floor with pent up frustration and anxiety.
“What do we do now?” Court looked kindly upon his little brother, his face softening at the acknowledgement that Colt was lucky enough to not have experienced this sort of pain before. He’d at least protected him from it until now.
“This,” Court took another drink from the bottle. When Colt didn’t look satisfied, Court continued, “The hospital should call soon. When the body is ready.”
“What about his family?”
“He didn’t have any family.”
Ryland cast his eyes down. He knew Henry’s parents had died in a car accident a few years ago, but he didn’t realize he had no one else. He shook the thought away. It wasn’t true, he had them. He had Court.
Colt spoke up, finishing Ryland’s own thoughts, “You were his family, Court. He was really happy. You made him really happy–”
“Stop.”
Colt sucked in a breath. Ryland had never seen him in this state. He was usually the more emotional one; he wasn’t used to seeing Colt this way. He wished he could take it all back, rewind and start the day over again.
“It was my fault,” Colt muttered, sniffling.
“Colt, stop, it wasn’t anyone’s–”
“He said there’d be a storm and I wanted to stay anyway!”
“But there wasn’t a storm,” Ryland said, “There wasn’t a storm,” his voice trailed off, confused. He ran a hand through his hair.
“We were struck by lightning,” Court stated as a fact.
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh yeah?” Court gestured towards his arm.
Ryland bit his tongue, not in a place to argue, but something just didn’t add up. It just wasn’t possible. Nothing was making any sense.
Court leaned over, pushing the chair away from him in order to sit on the ground, his head resting against the wooden desk behind him.
He saw his older brother sitting there, a bottle of vodka in his numb fingers and empty eyes, and walked over.
“Scoot over,” he muttered, finding a patch of floor beside Court and leaning his head on his uninjured shoulder.
Colt nearly jumped out of his chair to join. He was always the one who needed the most physical affection. He pushed himself in on the opposite side, gently leaning against Court’s wrapped arm. Court grunted before sighing in resignation.
They sat there, huddled together on the floor, until Ryland’s eyes fell shut, sleep finally taking over his exhausted body.
They opened again only a few hours later, sunlight just beginning to peak through the blinds. He was in the same position as before; they all were. He lifted his head, cursing at how tight his neck muscles had gotten. He blinked, taking in his surroundings. The now nearly empty bottle of vodka was still in Court’s hands. He lifted it to his lips but Ryland caught it and pulled it away. Court didn’t protest.
“He was mine,” Court said, the tear stains now visible in the light of a new day.
Ryland didn’t know what to say. What could he say?
“After mom died, I was used to giving up what I wanted to make sure we would all be okay. With dad and all. And then when he…when it was just us three that didn’t really change. Or, I hope that didn’t change. For you two at least. I never thought about my future. So when you two were seniors in high school, and had jobs and cars and lives, I was still holding on because you two were all I had. And that was unfair of me.”
“Court–”
“Let me finish. I spent my whole life making sure you two would have ones of your own, and when you finally did I resented you for it. I looked in the mirror and saw him again–”
“Court, we never–”
“Please.”
Ryland nodded, letting him continue.
“I applied for university that night, just a year before you’d both join me here, and I expected to hate it. And in a lot of ways I did. I hated studying, I hated group work, I hated dealing with stuck up assholes, and I hated being away from you two. But I think I hated it so much because you two were doing so well without me.”
Ryland shook his head, tears coming to his eyes. It wasn’t true.
“I didn’t know who I was, but I knew you two like the back of my hands. And you weren’t there as crutches anymore. I thought I was the one holding you two up but I know that’s not true now, I just wanted it to be. I was scared of looking in the mirror again, so I didn’t. But then I met Henry and he saw me. He knew me. He pulled things out of me that I didn’t know were in there and showed them off proudly. The bad parts too. And I always felt like I was fucking it all up because I wasn’t the one holding someone else up, and that’s the only way I knew how to do things. But he didn’t care. He loved me despite knowing me. And suddenly I was thinking about my future.”
Ryland swallowed his tears silently, placing his sore neck on Court’s shoulder once more.
“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep,” Court broke the silence again.
“Yeah, well, I don’t blame you…”
“No, not just because of that. I kept…I don’t know I feel like I’m going crazy but something keeps telling me to go back.”
“To the park?”
“Yeah.”
“That seems like a bad idea.”
“I know.”
“Why do you want to go back?” Ryland pressed.
“I just have a feeling that we missed something. Something of Henry’s. Maybe something of mine?”
“I think you need some sleep.”
“I know. Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“How common is it for people to think that their loved one isn’t dead?”
“Denial is the first stage of grief for a reason, Court.”
“Yeah…”
“But if it makes you feel better, it hasn’t sunk in for me either.”
“It’s not that…”
Ryland readjusted, looking at Court’s face now, “Then what is it?”
Court avoided his gaze, “I feel like he’s still out there. Waiting for me.”
“Oh, Court,” Ryland tried to initiate a hug but was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. All three brothers jumped, hearts racing.
“Who the fuck is that?” Colt mumbled, his voice not awake yet. He rubbed the back of his neck, making the same expression Ryland had.
Court stood up first, a combination of being the most awake and the bravest in the moment.
“Tell them to go away,” Ryland stated.
“Better idea,” Colt complained, “Don’t answer it at all.”
Court approached the door, pausing to look through the peep-hole.
“No one’s there.”
Colt and Ryland sighed in relief.
“Come on, let’s get some proper sleep,” Ryland rubbed the back of his neck, reminded of how much it ached after looking at his twin.
A voice from the other side of the door called out, “Ryland? Colt? Are you in there? I’m…I’m really freaked out right now. Please just…I need to know if you can hear–”
The door swung open, Court and Henry now staring at each other on opposite sides of the threshold. Silence permeated the room and hallway.
“That’s not…possible,” Court said, staring dumbfounded at the man in front of him.
Henry’s eyes watered but no tears spilled over.
“You can see me?” Henry said, hope in his voice.
Court nodded.
“Okay,” Henry processed this.
“What… are you?” Court asked in a whisper.
Henry’s lip quivered. He took two steps backwards until his back hit the hallway wall behind him. His arms held each other around his chest in a feeble attempt to comfort himself.
He shook his head, tears spilling over onto his cheeks, “I don’t know,” his voice broke, “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
Court closed the gap between them quickly, stepping up to Henry in just a single stride. He pulled the man into his arms, hugging him tightly. Everything about Henry felt right, slotting right into Court’s arms, chest, and neck like he’d done thousands of times. It was him. Court closed his eyes, smelling the familiar scent of spiced shampoo and cigarettes that was uniquely Henry’s. He was sure he was going insane. Talking to ghosts. Seeing cruel hallucinations that his broken, grieving mind had made up in a grim attempt to let him hold the love of his life one more time.
But he didn’t care.
If he had to live the rest of his life in a fabricated dream just to be with Henry again, so be it.
“Shh, I got you,” Court stroked the back of his hair.
Henry let his eyes shut, exhaustion finally weighing down his anxious mind.
As long as he was in Court’s arms, he was safe.