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4:00am. Wake up
4:15 am. Warm up.
4:30 am. Get on the ice.
7:30 am. Get ready for school
This was the routine Annie had followed ever since she was a small child. She wasn’t sure if she was destined to be a figure skater, but her fathers discovery of her talent forced her to head for that path.
Later after school and homework, she was made to train more. She had no breaks. Professionals didn’t get breaks, she had been told. Her dads idea of intense training led to him putting her in online school just to put more time towards training.
Her father was the coach of her team, which meant she never escaped his training mentality. He was more of a coach than he was a father. He wasn’t even her father— a known fact by many as she was adopted from a young age— the origins of her own parents still remained unknown.
The only way she could stay on his good side was to be good. That meant to perform flawlessly during practice and performances. He gave no mercy to the other girls on the team, despite them not being his children.
The verbal abuse, pressure, and physical punishment, shaped her into the performer she was today. She was pretty good —the entire country thought so too— which spoke for the many awards she had won. But it was never enough. Her father always fixated on her mistakes. When half the country raved about her spins; her father punished her for having the sloppiest footwork.
Her whole life was about this sport; The whole sport was her whole life. All her decisions were made by how it affected her performance or time on the ice. Her only friends were the ones she has practiced with.
That was until she had met Armin. He was like the sun that melted the ice. Warm and fuzzy. He was on the boy’s hockey team that her father had recently begun coaching.
The day she had met him was like any other day. She was on summer break so her dad made her train extra. Due to him forming the hockey team she was usually left with the other coach and the choreographer.
She was given extra breaks since her father wasn’t around. She decided to go fill her water bottle, but unfortunately someone else had occupied the fountain. The person had noticed her and he instantly looked away. She was aware that she was hard to look at. That was until the person started complaining.
“Coach Leonhardt is so rough on us, especially on me. He said I was lucky I was even a consideration.”
They grumbled. Annie snickered at the fact that they were facing her fathers wrath instead of her. Annie noticed someone standing behind her.
“He’s probably a single old man with no one who loves him. That’s why he is the way he is.”
The guy continued on.
“Dude, the coach's daughter is right behind you.”
The guy behind her—Bertholdt— spoke. The guy standing at the water fountain looked back at her and froze in shock.
His water bottle began overflowing.
“I am so sorry…”
He panicked, and Annie began laughing.
This was a boring way of explaining how she had met Armin but it truly was how she met him. They continued crossing paths until eventually Armin had asked for her contacts.
Every night since then they’d chat. He was a fresh breath of air. He was more than just his sport which was something she was jealous of. He was kind, he liked history, he liked legos and— strangely enough for a hockey player— he loved the ocean.
They really had no way of spending time with each other due to Annie’s strict training schedule. She wondered why he would stay by her side.
He began showing up to watch her compete or perform; in exchange she would show up to his hockey tournaments. Her father was oblivious. He had no idea they even knew each other.
That was until the rumors broke out.
“So… you and Armin, huh?”
Hitch said in a teasing manner. Annie hadn’t told anyone about it, so she was genuinely shocked to hear it.
“Annie and Armin sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
Pieck teased while stretching.
“Shut up! Why would I talk to a sweaty hockey player?”
Annie says, in an attempt to fight the allegations. Unfortunately, the rumors would reach her father. She was able to fight for her own “innocence” but that came at the cost that Armin was mistreated during practice.
They were able to hide their friendship, which soon became a relationship.
~~~~
This season was pretty important. After 15 years of training, she was getting scouted for the Olympics. The team was supposed to compete against other teams. The goal was to get two girls on the podium; guaranteeing them a spot to compete.
Annie trained harder than she had ever trained. Every single fiber of her body ached with the determination of making it to the podium. Her team shared the same energy as every conversation was about the competition.
For once, her dad hadn’t found anything to complain about. She still had time to talk with Armin but not as much. She was busy working herself to the bone.
Apparently, it was getting to everyone. Annie found herself becoming snarkier than usual. Someone as focused as Pieck began breaking down in tears during training. Hitch began picking fights with others, and sometimes with the Hockey players.
“Girls… Competition is in a week. I have trained you girls for years for this exact opportunity. I expect highly of you. We still have costume fitting to do and we need to work on performance. Mina, you aren’t artistic enough for the judges. Pieck, your spins are getting sloppier. Hitch, you do your jumps a little too late. And Annie…”
It sounded like her father was finding something —anything— to complain about.
“You need to work on evoking emotion from the judges.”
He says before blowing the whistle and off they went. Separate ways to get practice done.
~~~~
“You aren’t touching your chicken.”
Annie’s dad says, breaking the awkward silence between them. They hardly sat together for dinner, but oddly enough her dad had joined her. Annie rolled her eyes and continued eating the vegetables off her plate.
“You need the protein…. For the on-ice season.”
He added. He wouldn’t keep his eyes off her which made her feel small. She roughly cut up a piece of the chicken and shoved it in her mouth.
“You aren’t eating enough.”
She found it ironic that he was expressing concern. Years ago, he would say the complete opposite. Annie slammed down her fork which created a loud clinking noise.
“Maybe I don’t want to eat your dry chicken, Father.”
She spat before getting up and abandoning the dinner table completely.
~~~~
Annie’s mind kept drifting away as she tried to complete the rest of her homework. She felt unfocused and restless. She knew she was good and was destined to win but why did she feel so uncertain?
She felt resentment piling in her stomach when she looked at her trophy case. She heard a knock on her door and instantly straightened her back.
“Annie, you should get some rest…”
Her dad said behind the door. She huffed in response.
“After my homework.”
She coldly said. She heard his footsteps return to his room. She rested her head on the desk for a couple of seconds. She was fighting her own mental exhaustion. A second later, she heard her phone buzz.
Hey, I haven’t heard from you today!
I miss you!
Those were the texts she had received from Armin. She instantly abandoned her homework and answered his texts.
Hi. I’ve been busy.
She responded. She was still nervous about receiving texts from him. She was usually overly excited to even speak to him, though it hardly showed. A moment later her phone pinged.
Look outside:)
She walked over to the window near her bed and pushed aside the curtain. Through the window she saw Armin standing there. She was surprised. She instantly opened up the window and whispered.
“What are you doing here?”
She held back a giggle.
“I’m here to see you.”
He said— also holding back a giggle. She helped him up and tiptoed around the room. Annie held a finger close to her mouth and whispered.
“Don’t wake up my dad.”
Armin took off his shoes and sat on Annie’s bed.
“That’s the last thing I’d want to do. Your dad already hates me enough.”
He whispered back. Annie sat next to Armin and put her hand over his.
“I’m so busy these days. I feel like I’m ignoring you.”
She says. Armin’s eyes softened.
“I don’t feel ignored, I’ve also been busy too. Just with stuff off the ice.”
He smiled. She didn’t know how he could do that so easily.
“You look so tired.”
Armin says. He wasn’t the only person to notice. She sighed and looked away from him.
“It’s going to be worth it.”
She tried to convince herself. She could tell that Armin didn’t believe her. Yet, he dares not protest. He pulled her into a hug; one that she automatically melted into.
~~~~
Annie had to endure the humiliation of costume fitting. It begins with getting measured — the most anorexia-inducing process— usually the measurements get announced to every girl in the room. To this day, they had no idea why. Maybe it was to “motivate” the girls into being stick-thin.
Oddly enough, it shamed her into following through from the age of ten. She wasn’t willing to continue as she needed her fuel. Unfortunately, it had gotten worse for some of the girls she had trained with. This resulted in a girl named Hannah being left hospitalized.
“You’ve lost weight.”
Annie’s dad says, whilst checking out the stylists report.
“That’s not good.”
He continued on.
Next was the costume fitting. She was usually forced into a costume that she felt was tacky on her. She was forced to wear unflattering colors on multiple occasions. Hot pink. Bright red. Neon Yellow.
Her costume for this competition was plum purple. Why this color? She had no idea. The costume was a leotard with a very short skirt attached to it. The waistband had purple sparkles around it and there were rhinestones around the chest area of the dress. Utterly Tacky, if you asked her.
The song her choreographer had chosen was ‘Babooshka’ by Kate Bush. It was a pretty emotion-driven song which she failed miserably at performing. Rage, Determination, and Focus, are what drove her to perform properly.
She had to break-in the costume to make sure she could perform in it. Unfortunately, the costume gave her no troubles.
“Nice costume.”
Pieck says while changing back into her sweats.
“I hate it.”
Annie says in response.
“I think it looks nice. I love the color.”
Pieck said. She picked up her costume which was a forest green dress with an asymmetrical skirt.
“This is what I got.”
She says.
“I like it.”
Annie says. She was jealous that Pieck had gotten a nice color. Annie untied the boot of her skate.
“Ugh, this sucks!”
She heard, which prompted her to lift her head. Hitch stormed in.
“I can’t fit into my costume, I’m getting fat!”
Hitch shouted as she threw her jacket down.
“You’re not fat…”
Pieck says in the false hope that it would help her.
“Oh my gosh, shut up Twiggy!”
Hitch yelled back. Annie would see the hurt on Pieck's face. She could already see the stress that everyone was experiencing. Hitch had begun stress-eating— more apparently than she thought so. Pieck was overly emotional— crying over anything. Mina lacked energy. Annie noticed that she herself shivered uncontrollably even when it was warm.
“Hitch, she was just trying to help!”
Mina shot back. Hitch stood and slightly shoved Mina.
“Guys, can we not?…”
Annie says— breaking the tension. The three all turned their heads towards Annie. It must have been shocking seeing Annie attempt to be the voice of reason.
“This season is hard on us… all of us. Fighting isn’t going to make it any easier.”
She could see the girls settle down as it remained quiet for the rest of the time. She wished her own stress could go away but it was just the beginning.
~~~~ The past
She felt like an ant on a map navigating her way through the ice. She stopped at the center of the arena and got into her starting pose. The rink made her feel small, she could barely see past the borders of the arena.
As her music began playing, she immediately got to business. Everything she had rehearsed took over. Backwards crossover, transition into a waltz jump, she repeated to remember. She shook a little as she landed her waltz jump but attempted to cover it up with expressive arm movement.
She ended her program with a spiral before stopping back at the center. She heard the applause from the audience. She felt proud of this particular performance, she might even have a chance of scoring higher than Hitch. She tried to look into the crowd to see what her dad thought. His face had not changed one bit, in fact he looked a tad bit more disappointed then he usually did.
She awkwardly bowed before skating off the ice. All the glory she felt dissolved as she met her team near the border. She was surrounded by her teammates —who kept cheering and hugging her. Her dad had his arms crossed. She could barely look at him.
This was her fifth ever competition of the season. She was frankly new to the environment. For the past 4 years she had only done recitals and trained extensively.
The girls nervously waited for their scores. She was bothered by how unbothered they’d seem by their own performances. She quietly ate her snack while watching the girls.
“I liked the girl with the butterfly costumes program.”
Pieck says while chewing on a baby carrot.
“I wish I had a butterfly costume.”
Mina says. Annie felt a hand tap her shoulder. She looked over to see Hitch sitting next to her.
“How come you’re so quiet?”
Hitch asks. Annie shrugged and looked at her feet.
“Is it because you almost messed up your jump? It’s gonna be okay, you’ll totally score high. Maybe 2nd or 3rd, I always get 1st.”
Annie could feel her eyes roll by default. She knew how competitive Hitch was and it didn’t help that she always scores higher than the others. Her dad made her highly aware of this. It made her slightly jealous of how tall and poise Hitch was, which gave her an advantage.
“I’ll be fine with 2nd or 3rd, I guess.”
Annie says in response. She knew it was still going to be difficult to please her dad nonetheless.
“Girls, Attention here.”
Her dad— who is the coach— says. The girls all sit still and look at his direction.
“You all did good but I’m looking for great. There were girls out there who were younger and still performed better than you girls. Pieck, you were off-beat at the beginning of your program. Hannah, you stopped your spin earlier than you were told to. Mina, you fell after your jump. Lara, you’re too stiff. Hitch, you were elegant and your posture was well but try not to do too much. And Annie…”
He paused while staring her down. Annie felt her ears grow warm.
“You shook when you landed your waltz.”
That was all he had to say. Yet, she still felt terrible. It felt like the end of the world. She noticed how the energy in the room shifted. No one was as chirpy as usual.
“But, we’ll see what the judges think.”
He says before opening the door. They made it back to the arena. Her skate guards cause her to waddle instead of walk normally. They began announcing scores from 12th to 1st place.
Annie panicked as each place— from 12th to 8th— wasn’t won by any of the girls. Maybe none of them were going to place at all?
“In 7th place, Lara Tybur from Team Leonhardt.”
A sigh of relief left her. She watched as her teammates waddled to get her plaque.
“In 6th, Mina Carolina from Team Leonhardt.”
Maybe the 5th was hers? Annie saw her dad shake his head.
“In 5th, Historia Reiss from Team Ackerman.”
She watched as the blonde girl giggly received her plaque. She was starting to believe she wouldn’t place at all.
“In 4th, Pieck Finger from Team Leonhardt.”
She watched Pieck jump up and waddle down to receive her plaque. Annie couldn’t help but notice Pieck's dad in the crowd. He seemed to be cheering the loudest for her. Pieck smiled while taking her picture.
“In 3rd place we have Hitch Dreyse from Team Leonhardt.”
She heard the loudest sigh come from Hitch but she got up anyway and skipped towards the podium. She watched Hitch stand tall with her fake bronze medal. Annie began shivering. She was scared she wasn’t going to place at all. A frown became apparent on her face.
“In 2nd place, we have Mikasa Ackerman from Team Ackerman.”
Annie had seen her in previous competitions and she usually scored high. The girl was like another Hitch— Tall, Fierce, and elegant.
“Who do you represent, Sweetheart?”
The lady announcing the scores asked as Mikasa climbed the podium and was getting her medal put on.
“Coach Levi Ackerman.”
The ravenette says into the microphone. She would later find out that Mikasa was friends with Armin.
It took them a while to announce who had won first place. That didn’t help with her nerves, she was certain her and Hannah weren’t going to place at all. She felt tears threatening to escape her eyes.
“And in 1st place… scoring the highest… we have… Annie Leonhardt from Team Leonhardt!”
Her ears rang hearing her own name. She looked around confused and saw Hitch motioning for her to come to the podium. She got up and waddled to the podium, unaware of the tears that escaped her eyes. She was crying from relief— Relief that she wasn’t going to disappoint her father.
She sniffles as she gets the golden medal placed around her neck.
“Who do you represent, honey?”
The announcer asks her. She wipes her eyes and speaks into the microphone.
“Coach Leonhardt.”
She says. Not father. The coach. She grinned a little as they got their photos taken. Hitch didn’t seem too happy that someone in the team scored higher than her. Hitch refused to acknowledge her but surprisingly Mikasa had given her an awkward hug.
Despite her own victory, her dad remained unphased. As they were gathering back to the benches, she watched the crowd's behavior. Despite winning 2nd place, Mikasa had received a pat on the head from her coach. She watched as Pieck's dad ambushed her with hugs. She couldn’t help but feel jealous. She hadn’t even received an applause from her own father.
It wasn’t even spoken of on the car ride home. It was almost as it was expected of her. Her tiny heart was broken. Already becoming stressed at the age of 7. She gained nothing from winning first place. Even her own friend was cross with her.
Though, Hitch had gotten over it as they were forced to do a duet together.
~~~~
Annie was already hit with jet lag before they even landed. It was like being dragged down by iron boots underwater. There were lots of people with cameras and welcome signs outside of the hotel they were supposed to stay in.
As soon as they stepped outside of their ride, a bunch of camera flashes went off. She was practically blinded as they walked to the entrance. She sure didn’t feel like the celebrity that they were being treated like.
As soon as they entered the hotel room she threw her bag in the corner. The girls typically share the entire room and her dad gets his own. For once she wouldn’t have to be in the same room as him.
“I’m gonna go take a nap.”
Pieck yawned and hops on one of the beds.
“I wanna share with Annie!”
Mina and Hitch chimed at the same time.
“I said it first."
Hitch says. Annie knew that Pieck was uncomfortable to bunk with which they began fighting over her. It wasn’t like Hitch was any better, she talks too much. Mina had a tendency of taking the majority of the blanket.
“I’ll sleep with Pieck.”
She says. Hitch groans and Mina shrugs.
~~~~
Annie wore sunglasses to hide her face. She didn’t want anyone to know who she was as she roamed the halls this late. She was waiting for a particular someone. She sat by the vending machine and waited. Each person passing by made her anxious.
“Grandpa, our room was 212 not 515”
She heard a familiar voice from a distance. She straightened her back as the voices got closer.
“Cant blame an old man’s eyesight.”
A second voice says. As soon as they turned the corner, Armin recognized her.
“Annie, is that you?”
He asked. A grin appeared on her lips and she took the glasses off. Armin immediately pulled her in for a hug.
“I’m so excited to see you.”
Armin says.
“Thank you for coming.”
She says. She turned towards his Grandpa.
“Young love…”
His grandpa chuckles before taking the suitcase from Armin's hand.
“It was nice seeing you again, Young Leonhardt. I’m going to the room, Armin. Have fun.”
He says before leaving.
“I’m excited to see you perform again.”
He says.
“It must be exciting for there to be scouts there. You have a chance at the Winter Olympics.”
He added. She only nodded. She couldn’t tell him about how anxious she was. It made her feel less deserving of this moment.
“Which I’m ready for…”
She says.
“I believe in you…. I just hope you believe in yourself…”
He says. She awkwardly smiled and nodded. Before she could speak, someone had entered the area.
“Armin?”
A familiar voice says. She turned her head to see the one and only Mikasa Ackerman standing next to the vending machine.
“Mikasa! It’s been a while.”
Armin beamed. Annie had forgotten that Armin was friends with her rival. She watched as they hugged. Annie and Mikasa had an awkward moment of staring each other down. Mikasa looked like she was sizing her up.
“Mikasa this is Annie, Annie this is-“
She interrupts with,
“Yeah, I know who she is.”
Armin chuckles and scratches his neck. Mikasa tilts her head and looks at Annie closely.
“You look shorter up close than on the ice.”
Mikasa says before turning away and walking off.
“I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean it in a bad way!”
Armin says in a panicked tone, followed by an awkward chuckle.
“She seems pretty jet-lagged.”
Annie says. She wasn’t sure why she was making excuses for her.
“Do you maybe want to go to my hotel room?… I brought board games..”
Armin asked. Annie grinned at his suggestion.
~~~~
Her mind kept on replaying her highly-needed time with Armin. They ate snacks while playing board games. For once, she thought about anything else but the competition that awaited her.
They talked about random stuff for hours until Armin's grandpa had to tell them to be quiet. She remembered their bodies snuggled together as if they were one.
Unfortunately, all good things had an end to them.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
Pieck asks which snapped Annie out of her mind loop. They were doing practice ice before the competition.
“Nothing.”
Annie insisted. She heard a snicker from across her.
“You didn’t come back last night.”
Says Mina.
“She probably was off to go meet her secret boyfriend that she doesn’t want anyone to know about”
Hitch retorted. She hated that she was right.
“You made me sleep by myself, How rude.”
Pieck says with hints of sarcasm. Annie rolled her eyes and began gliding away. Hitch began following after her.
“Who’s the unlucky guy…… or girl! It could be a girl because you hardly look at the boys.”
Hitch snorts. Annie looked at her with full seriousness. They were surrounded by other skaters from different teams. They probably looked like fools for hardly getting any training done.
“I bet it’s Bertholdt.”
Mina chimed in as she sped past them.
“Right, you should see the way he looks at her”
Hitch says out loud.
“Shut up!”
Annie shouts. Hitch begins laughing and glides off.
“Annie, you can tell us who they are. We won't judge you.”
Pieck reassured her.
“Unless they are ugly!”
Hitch yells. Annie now had to worry about her teammates being onto her. She had deeper things to worry about either way.
~~~~
“Straighten that back leg!”
The choreographer shouted.
“Yes! Wider jump…. Toe loop…”
Annie moved as if it was second nature.
“You’re too early!”
He shouted once again.
“Three, two, one, split! Land! Crossover! Double toe loop!”
Under immense pressure she was getting by. By the end, she was already sweating.
“Mr. Yeager…”
Annie says.
“Just call me Zeke. Yes?”
He says while handing her a towel.
“How can I be more expressive?”
She asks. He paused for a second and looked at her directly.
“The way you feel about a song is how you go about it”
He says as if it was simple. Would her stress and anxiety look artistic to the judges?
“Anyways, I think you have a solid chance of wowing the judges. Especially with that Russian split of yours. Good luck, kid”
He says before skating over to Pieck. Annie thought hard. What if she wasn’t going to impress them at all. She saw her dad approaching. He hardly went on the ice during these times.
“I know what the judges are looking for…”
He says before coming to a stop. Annie wasn’t sure where he was going with it until he continued.
“They are looking for skilled jumps.”
He continued.
“I already have some in my program.”
She reminded him. She was unaware of how furrowed her brows were.
“I think you should remove the Russian split and do an axel. Either a double or a triple.”
Annie disliked the sound of the sudden change. The competition was happening in less than five hours.
“I’m not doing an axel. You know I’m not great at those.”
She says. She was adamant on keeping it the way it was.
“I know but you’re going to have to try if you don’t get the desired points. Think about it. You’ve always wanted to make it to the Olympics.”
He says before skating off. Annie felt a little nervous all of a sudden. Was her program not good enough? What if she wasn’t worthy? She skated towards the border and got off the ice
~~~~
It was total chaos in the dressing room.
“The foundation is too light for me!”
Hitch yells from across the room. Usually, Hitch or Mina’s mother would be helping them get their makeup done. They used to have a female choreographer who was in charge of it but she had quit a while ago.
“That’s the only shade I bought”
Pieck says. Annie roughly applied blush to her cheeks as she watches chaos through the mirror.
“I’m out of hairspray!”
Mina yells. Annie reaches into her bag and tosses a bottle of hairspray at Mina.
“Thanks!”
Annie stood from the seat and looked in the mirror. She hated the plum purple dress on her. For a second, she forgot why she was here. What really was the end goal of this. She snapped out of her thoughts at the noise of someone puking. She saw Pieck holding a trash can in front of herself. She rushed over to Pieck and patted her back. She wasn’t sure how she could possibly comfort her.
“It’s okay to be nervous…”
She says.
“This is my first ever international competition… and my dad’s not there…. You’re really lucky that yours is with you.”
Pieck says before spitting into the trash can. Annie frowned at Pieck's words. Before she could reply she heard a loud knock.
“Mina, you’re on in five!”
Her dad says from the other side. The girls all stood up and looked at each other. They all shared the same look of worry.
~~~~
Annie watched as Mina powered through her program. She performed with much more energy than she had been showing during practice. Maybe the pressure made her perform well. There was a cameraman recording from a top angle.
Annie looked through the audience, looking for one specific person. No sign of him yet. She looked over to see Pieck who was stretching her legs.
“Didn’t you already do that earlier?”
Annie asks.
“I did but my doctor recommended me to do extra so my jumps don’t hurt my knees”
Pieck answered. Annie’s heart dropped. She leaned closer to Pieck and said in a hushed tone.
“If practice was putting stress on your knees why didn’t you tell the coach?”
Annie asked in concern.
“I didn’t want it to mess with my chances of getting bigger opportunities.”
Pieck admits. Annie stared at Pieck speechless. She looked back at the rink and saw that Mina was wrapping up her program. Her hands began shaking out of nowhere.
The crowd erupts in applause. There were whistles and applause from every corner. Some audience members began the tradition of throwing plushies onto the ice. Mina got off the ice and sat with the others.
“You did such a great job, Mina”
Pieck says. Annie wanted to congratulate her but before she could get a word out, Mina had fainted. The scene had no chaos as it happened on the sidelines. She watched as her dad called out for help. Some other competitors nearby watched.
It was like it never happened as the competition quickly picked up from where it left. Annie had never felt so anxious. Pieck was hurting herself progressively and Mina had collapsed, what else was there to come.
Annie’s phone buzzed through her jacket pocket. She picked up the phone to see a text from Armin.
You look stunning from here.
She smiled at the text from Armin. She looked at the crowd to see him, her eyes hadn’t caught him yet. What caught her eye was one of the camera people focusing the camera on her. She knew this segment would spark curiosity in the viewers as soon as it came out.
Time moved slowly as she watched her competitors. Some of them made her tremble in her own skates, some of them made her wonder how they even made it this far. It came time for Hitch to perform. She watched Hitch start off as elegant as usual.
She swiftly moved through the ice before landing a waltz’s jump. She was starting to think it was going alright for Hitch until it wasn’t. Hitch began hesitating as she clearly skipped a couple moves. Even though Hitch smiled through it and continued she could tell she was crumbling inside.
“What was that!”
The coach asked in an angry hushed tone as Hitch got off the ice.
“I-… I started to forget everything.”
Hitch says. Her voice trembled as she spoke.
“You made me look bad.”
He says as Hitch wipes off the ice on her skates. How could he be the one to look bad when Hitch was the one putting in the hours to perfect her skating.
Pieck got on the ice and skated to the center of the rink. She looked dazzling with the forest green dress. Her black hair was done up in a neat bun. Her skin had specks of glitter which reflected around the lights.
Annie had some hope for Pieck's performance to go liquid smooth. She was tense watching her own teammate. Annie had noticed that her dad had walked out midway through the program. It was odd for him to do so.
Usually the choreographer took notes for him when he stepped away. Annie wanted to stay for the sake of good sportsmanship but something inched at her to see what was going on.
“I’m going to the restroom…”
She told both Hitch and Mr. Yeager who seemed to be unbothered with responding. She got up and walked out the door. She walked down the hallways and instantly bumped into someone.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
She had bumped into Mikasa. Her rival— or so the people deemed them as. Annie wasn’t sure how to respond to her as she felt like her time was being wasted.
“It’s fine…”
She says while looking behind her in the hallways. She looked back at her rival who had already decided to move along. She heard voices coming from the stairway so she followed.
“We gave your student a check up and the results were a bit concerning.”
She closed up to the area and remained hidden.
“Her reports showed a high dosage of a steroid type of drug in her system. We might have to do a wellness check on her and her home life.”
She had heard the voice continue. She heard a grunt come from her father.
“Never in my years of coaching had I ever had a student on steroids.”
She heard him say. She heard him lie through his own teeth. She knew that Mina would never take drugs with the intention. Her gut told her everything she needed to know.
“For now, your student is eliminated from the competition.”
She walked right back to the stadium full of fury.
She watched Pieck—with her arms full of teddy bears— waddle out of the ice.
“You did well, Pieck.”
The choreographer says. Annie had adjusted as if she hadn’t missed the last half of the performance.
“You know you can’t keep all of them.”
Hitch says. Pieck spilled them onto the ground in front of them.
“I know.”
~~~~
Annie’s name had gotten announced and onto the ice she glided through. She stood at the center of the rink and got into her starting pose. She looked to the side of the stadium and the first thing that had caught her eyes was Armin. He now stood out to her.
He had a great view which meant he could see everything. From her best moments to her worst mistakes. She knew she needed to do great. Her music began playing which prompted her to start moving.
She gracefully slid from her starting point and broke into her choreography. Her heart banged out of her chest as she moved on autopilot. One mistake could risk it all. She was hoping she wouldn’t have to take her father’s suggestion.
She attempted to appear fun. She knew how focused she was on skills that made her miss out on her expression. Her hands felt moist and sweaty
She had nearly missed her own shin when she was supposed to hold up her leg to perform one of her spins. That had felt like a sign. A sign that it was all over.
She was unaware of how distressed she looked on the outside. Oddly enough, it fit with the desperate vibe of the music. She was one with the music even though the music wasn’t one with her.
Leading up to her biggest jump, her heart was beating uncontrollably. What if she didn’t land it?
First glass shatter, a toe loop combo.
Second glass shatters, a butterfly jump.
She did a backward crossover and pivoted forwards until she heard the third glass shatter go off.
A Russian split jump.
Which she had landed. She heard a commotion from the audience as she got lower into a cantilever. Even though she had succeeded, it still didn’t feel like enough. Was she really giving what her father said, a chance?
She got up early from the cantilever and pivoted backwards before twisting upwards, landing a double axel. She continued where she was supposed to leave off until the music reached the end. Her program with a biellmann spin.
Before she could open her eyes, she heard the loudest applause she had ever received. It was her moment. Why couldn’t she be happy? She watched as a meteor shower of plushies came onto the ice. She looked around her. For a moment she had come to the realization that she had no idea what she was doing.
Getting off the ice, she was met with both Pieck and Hitch surrounding her in a group hug.
“You were amazing!”
Pieck squealed. Her face remained neutral.
“You weren’t focused, Annie.”
Her dad says, finally showing up after his disappearance. She frowned and looked him in the eye.
“I did your stupid jump, what more do you want from me?”
She walked towards the bench to wipe off her skates before putting the guards on. Coincidentally, her rival was announced to perform right after her. Her music was one of her favorite songs ‘The winner takes it all’ by ABBA
Out of curiosity, she paid attention. Every flawless move was accompanied with both expression and concentration. It looked easy. Why wasn’t it easy for her?
Her throat had gotten tighter as she watched. She wasn’t sure why she had gotten very emotional at the moment but tears pooled in her eyes.
There was something about her performance. She had joy. She had passion. She was like a warm sunny day accompanied by a cool breeze. She looked beautiful, as if she had every right to grace everyone with her presence.
She looked free. For once, she didn’t cheer when the girl had messed up her landing. She was rooting for her. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek as her eyes remained glued to her rival.
She felt a light squeeze on her shoulder. She looked over to see Pieck with tears in her own eyes. She turned to look at Hitch who was burying her face in her hands. Her face instantly crumpled. The shared stress had finally gotten to them. It was almost over. She got up. Surprisingly, Pieck and Hitch had gotten up too. In silence, they held hands. For a minute, it felt relieving.
She began walking and they followed. She heard a hushed voice coming from behind.
“You girls can’t leave without my permission.”
Her dad had said. They walked nonetheless.
~~~~
The room was quiet. The noise of a clock ticking filled in the silence. By no means was she willing to address her own concerns. The coach was nowhere to be seen in the kiss-and-cry.
“Are we going to talk about it..?”
Pieck asks. Both Hitch and Annie glance at her.
“She’s going to beat our asses, we sucked today.”
Hitch says.
“There’s four of us. At least one of us can make it to the podium at least.”
Pieck says in an attempt to reassure them. Annie cleared her throat.
“There’s three of us, actually…”
She says while looking at them. They both looked confused. She knew she had to give them extra details.
“Mina was on drugs… she got eliminated.”
Hitch’s jaw dropped. Pieck had a concerned expression.
“This is going to be the end of us as a team…”
Hitch says before burying her face in her hands.
“This is probably not a good time to say this but…”
Pieck says but pauses halfway before taking a breath.
“I need to get surgery on my knees so I might not be able to compete next year… or maybe in general.”
Hitch sighed as if she wasn’t surprised. Annie reached over and patted Pieck on the back. The door swung open and they all straightened their backs.
“Girls…”
Her dads voice echoed through the air.
“Never in my 20 years of teaching have I ever been severely let down by my students.”
Annie scoffed. His head turned towards her.
“What?! I’m just saying it’s ironic how you’re the one let down..”
She says.
“Don’t give me that attitude, young lady.”
He demanded.
“They’re about to announce the winners…”
He sighed before opening the door wide. The girls got up and walked towards the door. Upon exiting, Annie felt her arm get yanked. Her dad had stopped her from following after the others.
“When we get home you’re grounded..”
He whispered. For once, Annie didn’t look away in fear. She kept her eyes on him.
“When we get home, you’re going to be fired from your job for drugging Mina.”
She spat back before pulling away from his grasp and sprinting ahead.
~~~~
“In fifth place, Sasha Braus”
The announcer says before the audience applauded. She looked at Hitch who had gotten 8th. Annie noticed contestants from the other teams staring at her. Some coaches had also locked eyes with her for a moment.
“In fourth place, Pieck Finger.”
Annie was relieved that she had placed.
“No….”
Pieck huffed and got up. Third place went to a skater from the country which left second and first open. Either second place was hers or she didn’t place at all.
“Second place, Mikasa Ackerman”
Annie was now alert. This had to be a mistake. Her program was flawless. She deserved first place. She watched her proudly get up and receive her medal.
“And in first place, Annie Leonhardt.”
The world had stopped for a second. Her ears rang as the crowd began applauding. She looked around confused. She felt guilty. Guilty for winning. She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t want it. She got nudged up by her father. The world slowed down as she walked over to the podium.
She felt like she was being stared down. Maybe it was from judgement? As the medal was being placed on her, a tear rolled down her cheek. It was like she was seven again.
Ten years since her first ever victory and she was still upset. She pitifully looked at her rival. She received a nod from her. She held her composure as they were snapping photos. As soon as they were finished, she hopped off the podium. She watched as some of the others who had taken a place retreated back to their teammates.
Cheers, laughter, and hugs. Her eyes remained glued on Mikasa. Her teammates cheered alongside her. Her coach had given her a hug. At the end of the day, she was the real winner.
“We did it.”
Hitch said as they stood in the crowd.
“But at what cost…?”
Annie sighed. She turned back and there he stood. A bouquet of white roses in his hand.
“Annie! You were amazing!”
Armin shouts, failing to contain his excitement.
“Holy shit Annie! The rumors were true!?”
Hitch exclaimed. Pieck giggled and pushed her forwards. Armin hands her the bouquet and pulls her in for a hug.
“Thanks for coming…”
She says. Behind, she could see Pieck and Hitch joking around about her.
“You don’t look very happy for someone who just won an international championship.”
He says. Annie sighs and tears begin to pool in her eyes.
“I don’t feel like a winner…”
She had earned a pitiful look from Armin who squeezed her tighter.
“Let’s get ice cream later… whenever you want, okay?”
She nods and they part ways.
~~~~
“Who are those from?”
Annie’s dad asks as they walk down the halls. Pieck and Hitch began snickering uncontrollably as soon as it was brought up. Annie had chosen to ignore him and continued walking.
The competition was long over and they headed back to the hotel to pack up. Annie hand patted her pockets and realized she had left her phone.
“I think I left my phone in the locker room. I’ll be back.”
She says before jogging away. Thankfully it wasn’t locked, which would make it easy for her to get back with her group.
“Annie.”
She heard a voice say as she walked out of the room. She stopped to look. Surprisingly, it was Mikasa.
“Good game.”
She added. Annie grinned and nodded.
“You were amazing. You deserved first place.”
Annie says. Mikasa chuckles and folds her arms.
“Enough with the small talk…”
She says.
“I’ve competed against you for a couple of years and you’re really talented. Even my coach thinks so, he says you’re a threat.”
Annie tilts her head and furrows her brows.
“He wanted me to ask you if you are ever willing to try something new and switch teams… we could really use your knowledge and your skill.”
Annie felt flattered. For once, she had been recognized. Her cheeks burned in flattery.
“You’re too advanced for your position.”
Mikasa hands her a card and she stares at it. Annie wasn’t sure what she should say.
“T-thank you. I’ll consider it.”
She stammered.
“It was nice to finally meet you.”
Mikasa says before walking off. Annie ran the other direction and entered into the door leading to the staircase.
“Finally!”
Hitch complained.
“You girls have lots of thinking to do as soon as we get back home.”
Her dad said. Annie furrowed her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.
“You know what… I think we did good.”
She says. Pieck and hitch turned their heads towards her.
“We placed. I got first. I’m an international champion… yet you’re still disappointed.”
She continued. Her dads face barely budged.
“Because you guys made me look terrible, let’s not forget about Mina.”
He rambled.
“Who you drugged!”
Annie’s voice echoed through the staircase.
“Be quiet!”
Her dad had said in a harsh whisper.
“No! I know it was probably you who did it. You’d do anything to make yourself look good. And that’s with drugged out skaters.”
She said very harshly. He barred his teeth and grabbed Annie by the arm very tightly.
“Shut up.”
Annie attempted to walk down the stairs faster but his arm remained on her arm.
“Not only are you a shitty coach, you have also been a shitty father.”
She said in a defiant tone.
“Annie, stop talking.”
He says almost as a plea.
“Now you know how I feel.”
She says before roughly yanking her arm away. This threw him off balance and before anyone could react her father had been sent tumbling down the stairs. The three girls had watched as it happened. It looked almost cartoonish.
“Walk it off!”
Annie shouted before marching down after him.
~~~~ A few months later
Annie fell down as she crossed over. She heard a giggle from across from the rink.
“So you can land jumps but you fall when both feet are on the ice?”
Mikasa says as she helps her up.
“I hardly even calculated where my feet were going.”
Annie says, slightly flustered. It had been a few months since she had won the international title. Right after, her father had developed a permanent limp from his tumble down the stairs. It was barely addressed. He had retired from coaching. They had hardly talked after the incident as Annie had decided to move out.
Pieck had left to get her surgery done. Annie had no idea whether she planned to return to the ice or not but she’d support her no matter what. She made sure to visit her when she had the time to.
Mina’s parents sued her Father for drugging her. Mina has moved on from figure skating and is studying art at a university.
Hitch joined pairs figure skating. They still chatted and hung out from time to time.
Annie took a break after the season to focus on school work. She had managed to graduate from high school. She decided to continue skating so she did the only thing she could think of.
Annie was accepted with open arms to Team Ackerman. She was able to train without any pressure.
“Armin Babe-lert is waiting for you.”
Sasha says as she closes in their circle. She heard a snicker come from Mikasa and she rolled her eyes.She saw Armin waiting outside of the ice and she got off and walked towards him.
“Hey…”
Annie says.
“Hey”
Armin says before wrapping his arms around her.
“You look very happy these days.”
He says.
“I feel it.”
Annie smiled.
“Life doesn’t feel very dreadful anymore”
Making it to the Olympics or becoming a sensation wasn’t the thing she was searching for. It was little moments of joy fused with her passion that made life better. First place meant nothing if she couldn’t be where she was right now.