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Harlequin paced around his tent. The metal was turning from white to silver beneath him from his days of pacing. It was the 10th night that he had the same nightmare.
That he was sacrificed rather than the angel... Oh how he missed her. He missed her smile, her calming. How she wasn't his.
Of course Pierrot had taken the lovely human, they were so much like Bina.... How does Pierrot see a difference. The same caring nature. The same smile. If harlequin didn't know better he would take a bite out of them to see if their blood tasted the same... Oh the blood.
He can't get the taste out.
He grabbed a knife... One of the many he had from pierrot throwing knifes at him.
He lifted his sleeves and stabbed the blackened skin. He twisted the knife and took it out so the blood would spill.
His mouth twitched upwards in a true smile. Oh blood... It's such a lovely sight. Nothing could compare to her blood. It was amazing... Or was it only amazing because he was on the verge of death.
He couldn't take it anymore and stabbed his arm again.
He did this at least 14 more times. The sun began to rise... Jester would call everyone to the main tent for the weekly meeting soon... He was exhausted though.
He didn't even realize it but he fell asleep without pulling his sleeves back down.
Harlequin was right about the meeting call, Jester soon came to find the harlequin.
"Harlequin. Answer me." When met with no answer the leader of the circus just let himself in.
The sight of blood everywhere took him back. He took a step backwards, not expecting to see the stab wounds on someone like Harlequin. He had expected this from Pierrot who is unable to fight back against the humans. But Harlequin. This was unusual for him to have such deep wounds.
Harlequin was woken with a slap to his face.
His eyes bloodshot red from crying. He didn't even know he had cried last night. He felt nothing. There was nothing to feel... Despite this he quickly put his mask back on properly which had started to slip and immediately masked his feelings with his normal cocky smirk.
"Isn't it my favorite member of hell." As much as he tried to hide it, his voice was ever so slightly shaky and gave him away.
"Har-"
"No." Harlequin quickly cut the purple jester off.
"The hell you mean 'no'"
"I MEAN NO. YOU DON'T GET TO COME INTO MY DOMAIN AND FUCKING PITY ME." Harlequin started panting slightly, he doesn't normally yell, he hates yelling, yelling is for weaklings who can't show their anger without their voice doing it all for them.
He wasn't done either, "I'm not useless, I promise I have worth. I'm not replaceable. I will not be livestock. I AM important... You... I-"
Harlequin was finally cut off with jester giving the green harlequin a tight hug.
Jester's taller stance making it so Harlequin's head was against his chest.
Harlequin tensed. He hated touch, he hated hugs, hugs were for weaklings who were fucking pathetic and needed attention. His arms hung limply at his sides.
"You are useful, Harlequin, we all care for you in this circus... Even if no one here shows it properly. We need you, we wouldn't function without you."
Jester removed his own mask before doing the same for Harlequin, "You don't need my permission to hug back. I know you want to as much as you might deny it. My doll, you have been touch starved for years haven't you."
Harlequin's arms slowly raised up, gripping the fabric on Jester's back tightly. He hid his face in jesters chest. Even if he understood now that jester wouldn't actually judge him for crying he still didn't want to be seen crying.
Jester's chest slowly became more damp but he simply stood still and allowed Harlequin this moment. He knew that Harlequin will deny this happening after today. Jester was just happy Harlequin actually allowed himself to show emotions that were negative.
"Now, will you tell me if these stabs were from Pierrot or someone else. I might have a word with them." Jester was still under the assumption this was another's doing.
"Then you'll be having a word with me" harlequin responded after about a minute.
"Sorry, I don't follow" Jester tilted his head to the side.
Harlequin looked up at jester, his face streaked with tears, his eyes bloodshot. Jester wiped a tear away.
Harlequins voice was hardly higher than a whisper, "I did it, and the pain was so lovely."
Harlequin was slapped once again, the pain didn't bother him much though. The pain was the best part of it.
Jester's expression was impossible to place for Harlequin... He just assumed it was anger and his grip on the jester loosened slightly. Harlequin got ready to leave, he liked pain but he didn't want Jester to be angry at him at this moment.
Jester however hugged Harlequin tighter, "idiocracy, you were how many years clean. And you ruined it all for what, to feel pain."
Jester was indeed angry but not at him, at the situation that made him relapse.
"stay, I'll be back" with that jester left harlequin for a moment... It felt awful to feel such warmth and be stripped of it.
Jester soon returned, Doctor in tow. When Harlequin saw doctor he quickly reached to put his mask back on, this was a pathetic sight. However Jester quickly grabbed it from the shorter circus preformer.
Doctor grabbed Harlequin's arm, it wasnt rough but it wasn't exactly soft either.
After he was all patched up, Doctor left leaving Jester and Harlequin in the trailer, Jester let out a long sigh and sat on Harlequin's bed. Harlequin had gone back to masking his emotions already. Jester let out another long sigh at this before he pulled Harlequin onto his lap.
"Rest now."
And he did, he curled into jester's touch... God he had gone soft, he hated this... The warmth... It was like tasting her blood. Harlequin hated that, everything good he felt was just a reminder of her. He bit his tounge until blood and when jester saw this he grabbed his jaw.
"Cease."
Harlequin obeyed and curled back into Jester. Hiding his face in his chest he fell into the most calming sleep since her death.
Jester moved his little heart curl out of the way and kisses his temple, before falling asleep himself.