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Grace has been bored recently.
He’s been living his absolute best life on Erid for almost a decade now, with zero complaints, but there are times when he just doesn’t have a lot of stuff to do in his cozy little biodome.
The pebbles are on school break, Rocky was spending most of his time with Adrian to make up for all the lost years he was in space that he hardly visits, and the Eridian scientists who usually check on him have been busy developing a new type of meat for Grace and his husband.
So that’s how it started.
“Grace, Angel? You can come out from under the bed now.”
“You are such a party-pooper.”
“And you are being a baby.”
“You don’t mean that.” Grace pouts as he pathetically crawls out of their bed.
Simon smiles, helping him up from the ground. “Sure, I don’t.” He kisses Grace on his forehead.
Not a single thing has worked the way it should have! Grace has attempted every single prank he could think of; it’s not even about tricking Simon anymore (well, no, it’s definitely about tricking Simon and getting a reaction), but his pride was also at stake! Colt would never let him live this down if he knew.
Pranks Grace has done include but are not limited to: putting hot sauce on Simon’s Me-Burger which only ended with his husband absolutely getting mind-blown and loving the surprise so much that he littered Grace’s face with smooches, oblivious to the fact that the heat would transfer to his eyes and cheeks. So that completely backfired in Grace’s face (literally). Another example is subtly moving the furniture by an inch every few hours, which Simon immediately spots.
“Did you clean around the house while I was gone?”
Grace woke up to flowers on his nightstand the next morning.
He also did that couple’s prank where you pretend to get ready for a date your partner had supposedly planned—but actually didn’t, to watch them panic. Yeah, no, totally didn’t work. Unfortunately, Simon had managed to ask all the right question that they did end up on a perfect date.
“Oh yeah, that. What are you planning to wear?” Simon asked as he worked on his desk.
Grace could see the gears work in his head. He shrugs, “Like… a cozy sweater, maybe? You remember our date, right?”
“Of course, I do, Angel. And what do you think I should wear?”
“Wear whatever you want, babe.”
“Yeah, but I want to impress you.”
They ended up going on a picnic date near their flower garden with the perfect view of the sea.
“Stop pouting, you’ll get me one day, I’m sure.”
“Gee, thanks, totally not patronizing at all.”
Thank God, Simon was an absolute sweetheart, but how was nothing working?!?! Was this the price of marrying The Butcher?! Was he married to some omnipotent genius?!? What is happening right now?!?
His train of thought is interrupted by a knock. Well, knocks. Very impatient knocks, actually.
“I’ll get it.” Simon chuckles, making his way to the door. “Hey, Rock.”
“Hello, Simoooooon!” Rocky trills excitedly, his enormous mate standing tall behind him. “Rocky surprise Grace and Simon. Adrian come with. Hang out together, question?”
“Of course, bud!” Grace beams. “Come on in, both of you!”
“Hello, Grace. Hello Grace mate Simon.” Adrian sang as they entered their home.
“Hey, Adrian.” Simon steps aside.
“Rocky miss, miss, miss, Grace!” He does his jazz hands. “Have lots to talk about!”
And that they did. Gathered in the living room, Rocky and Adrian sat on the carpet, loafing next to each other while Grace and Simon snuggled on the couch. They talked for hours and hours, catching up, informing each other of the latest happenings, and just having fun. Adrian is sharing a funny story that happened during one of their first few dates since Rocky came home.
“Rocky kept calling Adrian ‘Grace’.” They trill as Rocky shyly wiggles his carapace.
“Very embarrassing story, change subject, please!” He stomps his tiny legs.
Simon chuckles, “Well, the tree you guys gifted me has been growing nicely. Would you and Adrian like to see it?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” Rocky exclaims, doing jazz hands. “Many, many, many to see!! Catching up!!”
Adrian nudges their mate. “Inform Grace-Simon of Me-Burgers.” Causing the other Eridian to bounce excitedly.
“Oh! Oh! Me-Burgers now We-Burgers! Rocky and Adrian helped!”
“That’s amazing, Rock!” Grace replies in astonishment while Simon… yeah, Simon doesn’t know how to feel about that. He’s still getting used to the whole ‘Me-Burgers’ thing—the hot sauce has certainly helped, but he can’t say it’s worked completely.
And that’s when the idea pops in Grace’s very brilliant mind.
Simon is in the middle of talking about their ever-expanding garden when Grace interrupts them with a simple question.
He nuzzles at Simon’s neck, looking up at him when he asks. “Hey, Simon?”
“Yeah?” His ever-so-loving husband turns to him with such a beautiful smile that he almost feels bad with what he’s about to do next. Almost.
“Do I have your permission to eat later?”
The trills and happy chirping immediately stopped, the silence deafening.
The look of shock on Simon’s face was priceless. He opens his mouth before closing it again like a fish out of water. He desperately turns to Rocky and Adrian, putting his hands up. “I—I swear on my life I absolutely do not control what he eats.” Grace, still glued to his side, watches the whole thing unfold.
Getting flustered and completely red in the face is a good look on his husband.
What Grace didn’t expect was for Rocky to freaking leap across the coffee table and tackle Simon.
“Rocky!”
“Why Grace-mate not letting Grace eat, question?! Need permission, why, question?!?! OOOHH!!!” Rocky exclaims as he jabs at Simon, followed by a string of chirps and tones Grace hasn’t heard before.
“I would never!! Do you have any idea how often he eats seconds?!” Simon desperately tries to cover himself from the light hits of the very, very, angry, tiny Eridian. “Angel! Help!”
“Simon bad mate!!” Rocky emphasizes each word with a jab. “Bad! Bad! Bad!”
“I’m not!! I even watch him sleep sometimes!!”
“This is news to me.”
“Grace quiet!!” Rocky points a finger at him before turning to Simon, his other claw tugging at his bangs. “PLEAD CASE!”
“I do anything and everything he wants!!”
“Example!!!”
“NO!!” Grace and Simon blurt out simultaneously.
That is when Adrian decided enough was enough and makes their way to the still very angry Rocky and effortlessly pulls him off of Simon and drags him away. A chorus of unfamiliar chords follows their way out before Adrian—with their remaining claw, slams the door shut.
“…”
Grace has no idea how Simon ended up on the ground, but that’s where he finds him, exhausted and flabbergasted.
The couple can only stare at each other.
“It was funnier in my head, I promise.”
———————————
“Rocky apologies.” The Eridian sings as he and Grace are on their way to the human’s home.
It’s been a few days since the incident.
Grace shrugs, “It’s all good, bud. It was my fault.”
“Is joke?”
“Yeah…” he replies, scratching at the back of his neck in guilt.
“Adrian say Grace stupid, stupid, stupid.” Rocky stomps. “Rocky apologize to Simon. Open door faster.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it.” Grace pushes the door, and they both freeze at what greets them inside.
Every single piece of furniture is covered in wrapping paper.
As an apology, Grace and Rocky spend the rest of their day unwrapping the utensils and plates while Simon and Adrian watch them from the unwrapped couch.
Adrian leans over to Simon. “How long did Simon to wrap everything, question?”
Simon shrugs, “Asked a bunch of parents if their pebbles were free to help surprise their teacher.”
They do a modest version of jazz hands. “Simon smart, smart, smart.”