Chapter Text
It was difficult to adjust to, after, well, everything that had happened. One minute, they were all fighting for their lives, trying to run and finally break free from this digital prison after so many years… the next, it was all they had, all they would ever have, and the lives they were chasing weren’t even their own after all.
A quiet peace had at last fallen over the Circus, once everything was reconstructed from the brink. Everyone was still wary of Caine - he was showing good intentions after he returned, but then, he always had, up until his last breaking point. Still, things seemed different now, somehow. The playing field was evened out by his own offering, and everyone had a say in what would happen going forward. The portals to Caine’s fantastical adventures now stood, permanently open, at the edges of the map. The Circus denizens all made a silent vow, to embrace this new life, and to live for themselves - and for each other.
For each other, including the ones they had lost along the way.
Pomni found herself visiting them often. All of the abstracted members of the Circus - those whose minds had spiraled until their very form collapsed into dark, jagged, ever-shifting polygons plastered with multicolored eyes. A form that no matter how long you looked at it, it never made sense of itself, never quite obtained any degree of familiarity.
After the Reconstruction, all of the abstracted creatures were moved from Caine’s hastily prepared cellar to the tanks of the Aquarium room beneath the main Circus. It was quiet there, and dark - darkness seemed to calm their frenzied minds.
Like everything else, this usually walled-off room was made accessible to anyone at any time. And so, the jester often found herself wandering here when she needed space to think, or if she wanted to take some time to remember those who were once just like her friends, but couldn’t handle it all in the end.
She saw her own blue-and-red-striped pupils staring back at her from her reflection, from the subtle seafoam glow illuminating the room from the central tank and the dim overhead lights. Beyond, dark, almost pitch black water in all directions, broken up only by the occasional glowing eyes of the Abstractions as they drifted silently along, pupils scanning everything around them in contented curiosity.
It was hard to tell time in the Circus, at least in any meaningful way. There were the Moon and the Sun outside, sure - but they mostly just stuck to their own whims, or whatever an adventure might call for. Everyone slept at about the same time, but that could have been morning or night in the real world. Pomni wasn’t sure how long she would spend down here, either - minutes, hours… but she didn’t mind either way. It was serene. Relaxing. As pacifying for her thoughts as it seemed to be for the glitching beasts just beyond the glass.
She found herself thinking back, to the day everything broke down. The brief time between when Caine seemed to be gone forever, and when he managed to reconstruct himself. It wasn’t that long ago - simultaneously, it felt like yesterday, and a century ago. All but one of her friends had made it through that ordeal, lived to see their true selves’ happier lives and settle in anew.
All except Jax.
She still missed him, despite everything he had done, the trouble and torment he caused. He was still her friend, no matter how much he had tried to push her away.
It was impossible to tell which of the floating beasts represented him as he was now, even though she had been right up close to him that fateful day. She quite vividly remembered all of the things she saw, inside of his mind. It would’ve been hard to ever forget any of it, truth be told.
And then… he was there. Just as she remembered him, amid the darkest part of his own mind. She had hugged him there, in that dark space. Felt the vulnerable tears falling from his usually stoic, grinning face. And then, a bright light enveloped him, and she was back in the circus, managing to have calmed him down - but she hadn’t been able to restore him.
She remembered the words Jax said, clear as day: “I don’t want to go.”
Now he was among all the rest, hopefully at peace… but the Circus wasn’t the same without him. Ignoring his antagonistic tendencies, he still had a place in the group, carrying his own brand of chaotic energy. She wasn’t sure if the others saw him the same way - things were far more complicated than she could ever truly know. They all had known him far longer than she had, for better or worse.
“Looking for Jax?” A gentle voice shook Pomni from her own thoughts, finally got her to tear her gaze from the dark waters. The tall, carved-wood figure of Kinger descended the stairs, into the aquarium. Ever since Caine reformed, the numbing fog around Kinger’s mind had dissipated, and he no longer needed the darkness to be ‘fully present.’ But, it still reminded him of his own intimate brush with an abstraction - his own wife, no less. So he, too, spent a lot of time down here when he could.
“Yeah…” Pomni found her voice slowly, unexpectedly cracked with emotion. “It’s… hard to tell which one he is, out there. I just wish there was more we could do for him.”
“I know how you feel.” Kinger remarked with a nod, standing beside her and staring out at the abyss. “After Queenie got taken to the cellar I… I didn’t know what to do with myself for a long time. This place felt especially lonely without her. There were definitely more than a few moments where I couldn’t help but blame myself. …At least, I think so. It’s so hard to remember now.”
“You… helped to make this place, right? - Or, at least, your, uh, ‘real’ self did.” The jester craned her head to look up at him.
“Somewhat.” Kinger nodded. “I was mostly working on Caine himself, and he created most of this place. I didn’t see or understand much of the underlying framework, besides what I needed to start bringing in the AI models.”
“Do you have any idea what abstraction… is? Like, what’s actually going on with them?”
“...Not really, I’m afraid.” He slowly shook his head. “With all of us being based on the obsolete neural scan project, the code is quite a ways out of my area of expertise. Queenie’s abstraction is the only time I ever even got close to one of them. And from that… well, I know at least they’re still in there. I could see it, in her eyes…”
“And- And I saw Jax!” Pomni said quickly. She realized, she hadn’t told anyone yet, anything of what she had seen inside Jax’s abstract form; everyone was still processing the whole thing, so she hadn’t yet gotten a chance. Now was a good a time as any, to tell someone.
Kinger’s interest was immediately piqued, as he turned and met her gaze.
“Not in his eyes, but when… when I got close enough and hugged him, I could see… a lot of things.” She continued, catching herself. She didn’t want to quite tell the whole story. A lot of that seemed very private to Jax; it wouldn’t have felt right for anyone else to talk about it. “After a while, I found my way to… *him.* The real Jax. I mean, not the *real* real Jax, but- it was him, just like we all knew him…”
“Really?” Kinger seemed surprised, as if she had just stated a possibility he hadn’t considered. “You’re sure? You… saw his model in there?”
“Yes! Multiple! I… we…” Visions of Jax’s tight embrace flickered in her mind, streams of tears, the single red streetlight… “We were able to talk a bit, we hugged, and… I think it was the most authentic I’ve ever seen him be, to be honest.”
“Fascinating…” Kinger looked off into space for a disconcertingly long moment, watching as one of the abstractions passed by, ever so close to the glass. Its eyes focused on the two of them for a while, then went back to gazing at the surrounding water, uninterested.
The two stood in silence a bit too long, long enough that Pomni couldn’t ignore that time was passing like she usually could down here. But finally, Kinger spoke again.
“I’ve never really thought about it so much before,” he admitted. “There’s a lot of strange things about this place, beyond even what I know about it - side effect of most of it being designed by a rogue AI system, I suppose.”
“I don’t think even Caine really knows much, either.” The jester let her gaze drift back to the calming darkness, gently placing a gloved hand against the glass veil. “I mean, the cellar looked pretty pitch black, so maybe he knew about the whole darkness thing. But, I don’t think he really knew what to do about it.”
“I had assumed that once a person abstracted, well, that was it for them.” Kinger responded thoughtfully. “But if you could still see his model, and hear his voice, and all of that… I have to wonder if there *is* more we can do for them.”
“Do… do you really think there could be?”
“I’m not sure. But from what you described, I have a few theories.” He paused for a few seconds. “...And if I happen to be right… it may be a reversible process after all.”
The words hung in the stunned silence that washed over Pomni, her eyes widening as she looked at him again. It wasn’t a joke - couldn’t have been. And yet it sounded unbelievable, all the same. But Kinger wasn’t the type to say such things unless he was sure. Maybe the old, inhibited Kinger - but not this one. He was thinking clearly, and his tone was one of hope.
“What… would we need to do?” She finally managed to ask, cautious to entertain such an idea after all the trouble that arose from chasing after the non-existent exit door, despite the emotions welling in her chest that desperately wanted to label this as different.
“...I think, it would be best if we talked about this as a group, with the others.” Kinger said, eyes staring contemplatively out at the colorful shadows. “I’m sure all of us are still adjusting, so it doesn’t have to be right now - I have to collect my thoughts, too. But… once you think we’re all ready, do you think you could get everyone’s attention, gather us up?”
“Huh? W-why me?” Pomni jumped to a look of perplexion as she glanced around the area.
“You’ve always been good at bringing people together.” His expression as he turned was warm, the kind of look where you could tell he was gently smiling, even though he lacked a tangible mouth to display it. “Even when things are bleak. I’m not sure everyone fully believes I’m… all the way back, yet. Heck, not even I can believe it. But I’m sure they’d listen to you.”
Pomni took a deep breath. This was important.
“...Okay. I’ll let you know.” She finally exhaled with a nod, sudden determination crossing her face.
Silence hung over the two of them, more peaceful now, as they both returned their attention to the abstractions. Minutes and hours started to blend together again, a hundred new thoughts swirling in the jester’s mind. She caught glimpses of her expression in the glass; it reminded her when she first arrived in this place, seeing this strange, then-new form when she looked in the mirror.
Eventually, she pulled away, to go see what the others were up to, filing away the task at hand for now. Kinger remained, and she gave him one last look over the shoulder as she ascended the stairs, the chess piece’s eyes fully affixed on the abyss.