Work Text:
“I understand that she’s busy, but I’ve been trying to get in contact with her for over a month now!” Enid stomps to her desk, holding her phone to her ear. “You told me weeks ago she’d do this interview!”
A disinterested grunt comes through the phone.
“Well you should care!” Enid snaps. “This is an important topic!”
Another grunt.
Enid grabs a pen and notepad. “What’s your name again?”
The voice on the other end mumbles something barely audible.
“Well, Tyler, when Mayor Capri ever returns to her office, tell her Enid Sinclair is waiting to interview her about the mysterious animal attacks that the entire town has been asking about for weeks!”
The line goes dead.
“Ugh!” Enid throws her phone onto her desk and plops down in her chair.
“I take it you got her assistant again,” Yoko mutters from the desk across from her.
“Yeah, a total douchebag named Tyler apparently.”
“Sounds about right.”
Enid groans. “I really need this interview. Every lead I follow in town about these attacks trails back to Capri.”
“Have you tried the Sheriff's office?”
“No, that’s a non-starter.”
“How do you know?”
“My wife already went there looking for answers. And if she can’t get them, they don’t exist.”
“Right…” Yoko nods skeptically. “Your wife.”
Enid’s eyes narrow, but before she can respond, a voice calls out.
“Sinclair, where is that article?”
Enid grimaces and swivels to face her other coworker. “Uh, coming?”
Bianca sighs. “It was due an hour ago. Weems has been asking for it.”
“I know, but Capri’s office is being stupid. And the witnesses I talked to today said they thought the animal looked like a deranged giant monster.”
“...That seems unlikely.”
“Yeah, but-”
“And by ‘unlikely’ I mean impossible.”
“You never know!”
Bianca rubs her temples. “Just give me something to print by end of day to get Weems off my back.”
“Fine. But no promises it won’t include monster conjecture.”
“Whatever you gotta do.”
Enid nods and turns to her blank word document, frowning in concentration.
“Looks like you’re pulling another late night.” Yoko leans back in her chair and rests her feet on a cabinet.
Enid shakes her head. “No, I’ll think of something. I have to make dinner tonight.”
“What, your wife can’t do it?” Yoko asks teasingly.
Enid looks over with her best unamused glare. “She has her own work deadline tonight.”
“Mhmm, and what does she do for work again?”
“Writes.”
“Writes what?”
“Books. As I’ve said every other time you’ve asked me this!”
“But what books?” Yoko presses.
“I’ve told you I’m not divulging that information!”
“You never divulge any information! Not even her name!”
“She prefers it that way.”
“Is she really that private?”
“Uh, yes.”
“Or maybe that fake,” Agnes chimes in from her desk. Never one to shy away from joining in on workplace gossip.
Divina snickers. “The intern has a point.”
Enid holds up her hands in annoyance and points at her left one. “You guys can literally see my wedding ring!”
“Maybe it’s a family heirloom,” Bianca comments from beside the water cooler.
“Ha. Trust me. My family wouldn’t be giving me any heirlooms. And if they did, I wouldn’t wear them.”
“Maybe you put it on as a teenager and just can’t get it off?” Yoko smirks.
Enid throws a balled up sticky note at her. “Or maybe, it’s an actual wedding ring! Given to me by my actual, real, wife!”
“Look,” Divina says. “It’s not that we don’t believe you-”
“Though we don’t.” Agnes adds slyly.
“-It’s just that we’ve all worked together for four years now and have never seen her!”
Enid huffs. “Well it’s not like we have ‘bring your spouse to work’ day!”
“I mean, I do that every day.” Divina shrugs.
“Damn right.” Yoko grins.
“Gross.”
Bianca sighs. “Come on, Sinclair. Jericho is a small town. Everyone knows everyone. We’ve all met each other’s significant others except for yours."
“She doesn’t like people.”
Bianca raises an eyebrow. “Except you?”
“Yes, actually.” A fond smile spreads across Enid’s lips at the thought.
“But you must see how unbelievable that sounds.” Yoko leans across her desk. “You’re one of the most extroverted people I know. And you love people!”
“Well I’m starting to debate that stance right now!”
“Okay, fine. Let’s recap what we know about your mysterious wife then.” Yoko picks up a notepad and pretends to make a list. “She’s a writer.”
“As I’ve said.”
“Of books.”
“Duh.”
“Who somehow is never seen in this tiny town, but is totally real-”
“Yes-”
“Who hates people-”
“Very much-”
“Who is married to the human version of a golden retriever.”
“Hey!”
“Am I wrong?”
“I mean…she’s said that too. But still.”
“Well that’s finally something believable about her.” Yoko throws her notepad down again. “But nothing else fits.”
“Yeah, sorry, girl.” Bianca sips her coffee. “The facts aren’t lining up for this reporter.”
Enid rubs her forehead. “You know what? I don’t have to convince you guys. It’s real. And she’s perfect. So jokes on you.”
The rest of the group shake their heads with amused smiles. “Whatever you say.”
At that moment, Weems barges into the newsroom, causing everyone to scurry back to their desks. The boss sweeps into her office and slams the door closed without a word.
“Ugh, I’m too old to be working anymore.” Yoko flicks her computer screen.
Divina scoffs. “You’re 29.”
“Exactly.”
Enid finishes the article in 30 minutes flat. Then slaps it on Bianca’s desk at 4:58pm.
Bianca looks up in surprise. “Wow, I can’t remember the last time you wrote so fast, Sinclair.”
“I said I have to make dinner.”
“Which is?”
“...Take out.”
“How domestic.”
“Well the last time I tried to cook I nearly burned down the kitchen so my wife banned me from it for a month.”
Bianca snorts. “Okay, I’m kinda starting to like this invisible wife.”
Enid huffs. “Whatever. I gotta go. Bye!”
She grabs her bag and runs out the door, waving to her coworkers on her way out.
“She’s in a rush today,” Yoko comments.
“Maybe she and her wife have a date?” Divina asks.
“Ha. Sureee.”
---------------
“I’m home!”
“You do know I could hear your car pull in and you barrel through the doorway.”
Enid rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around the woman sitting in front of a typewriter. “Are you saying you’re not happy to see me?”
Wednesday’s fingers pause. “I didn’t say that.”
Enid smiles as she peers down at the desk. “How’s the last chapter coming? Ready for the deadline?”
“It will be done in 7 minutes.”
“Hmmm, you sure about that?” Enid starts to plant light kisses on the back of the smaller woman’s neck.
“Enid.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“7 minutes.”
“What about them?” Enid mumbles against soft skin.
“Give them to me and then I will be all yours.”
“But what if I want those 7 minutes now?” Enid whispers hotly in her wife’s ear.
“E-Enid.”
The blonde laughs and finally pulls away. “Fine. 7 minutes, Addams. Else you’ll be waiting a lot longer than that tonight.”
Wednesday looks over her shoulder with sharp eyes, scowling even further when Enid winks at her. “The 7 minutes don’t start until you leave.”
“Why? Am I distracting?” Blue eyes twinkle in delight.
“Incredibly.”
The admission takes Enid by surprise. Which Wednesday capitalizes on by tugging the woman in for a deep kiss before pushing her away again just as quickly.
Now those blue eyes are much darker.
“Fuck.”
Wednesday smirks as she lets go of her wife’s collar and turns back to her typewriter. “Go, Sinclair.”
“Oh, you are so getting punished for that tonight.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Wednesday says evenly, but the slight stutter in her typing gives her away.
“You know I can keep them,” Enid growls in Wednesday’s ear, smirking at the goosebumps she receives in response. She presses one last kiss to her wife’s cheek before finally waltzing out of the office.
“Insufferable dog,” Wednesday grumbles, but her fingers quicken their typing all the same.
Exactly 7 minutes later, Wednesday appears at the dinner table which has been laid out with their favorite food from the local Italian restaurant.
Enid sets a gothic candelabra with pink candles in the middle. “For romantic atmosphere.”
“As long as you don’t knock it over like last time.”
“Then don’t give me a reason to dive across the table.”
Wednesday’s eyes gleam as they stand on opposite sides. “Perhaps you just need to learn to control yourself.”
“Sit.”
Wednesday hesitates only for a moment before doing so.
Enid smirks in satisfaction and sits as well, eyes never leaving her wife’s.
They serve themselves food in tense silence. Fingers brushing, eye contact lingering. Treating the meal like the proper psychological warfare that it is.
But of course, Enid can’t keep the silence for long. “Sooo how was work?”
Wednesday tilts her head. “You must know I know you only ask that when there is something about your own workday you want to discuss.”
“Hey! Not true! I care about your work!”
“I didn’t say that you didn’t.”
“Well, still!”
Wednesday just sits there expectantly.
Enid drops her shoulders with a sigh. “Capri skipped the interview again.”
“That’s the fourth time in as many weeks.”
“Oh I know!”
“Perhaps I should visit the mayor’s office.”
“No offense, Wends. But I need her comfortable, not threatened.”
“I hardly see the difference.”
Enid rolls her eyes. “This article is going to be the biggest one the town has seen in a while if I can get it right. I just need to get past her dumb assistant, Tyler.”
“Galpin.” Wednesday scowls in distaste.
“Who?”
“The Sheriff’s lazy son.”
“You know him?”
“I ran into him while questioning his father just this morning.”
“You mean threatening.”
“I still fail to see the difference.”
Enid waves her hand. “But how do you know he’s the guy who works for Capri?”
“I overheard Galpin saying something about getting Tyler the job.”
“Oh?”
“Tyler also told me himself.”
“Oh.” A sharp look crosses Enid’s features. “I’m starting to dislike this guy even more.”
“I made his position of irrelevance clear.” Wednesday moves her hand slightly so that her ring catches in the light.
“Good.”
Wednesday is momentarily mesmerized by the fire that dances in her wife’s eyes. But then the possessiveness slowly fades into something else she can’t quite place.
“What is it?”
“It’s stupid.”
“I’m sure it’s not.”
"...They said you were fake again.”
Wednesday scowls. “The ring I put on your finger is not fake.”
“I knoww. And I’ve shown them plenty of times! But they said it’s a family heirloom!”
“As if your family has any heirlooms you’d want.”
“That’s what I said!”
A brief silence follows before Wednesday speaks again. “Would you like me to…make an appearance?”
Enid shakes her head. “No. You don’t have to. That’s not what this is about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve told them you’re a private person. Which you know I respect. And it’s not like I want them all in our business either. I just…wish they believed me.”
“We could make them believe you.”
“We aren’t tasering my coworkers.”
“Who said anything about tasering?”
“Please. I know that tone.”
“Is that so?” Wednesday asks in a low voice.
Enid’s eyes flicker to dark brown ones. “Y-Yeah.”
“And do you know what all my tones mean?”
Enid swallows thickly, all grievances with coworkers forgotten.
“Wednesday.”
No response. Just a heated stare.
“Move the candelabra.”
Wednesday doesn’t flinch. “Or what?”
“Or so help me I will burn this house to the ground.”
Brown eyes turn black.
“Go on then. Mi loba.”
Enid lunges across the table just as Wednesday moves the candelabra inches from being bowled over. Their lips meet in heated passion, hands grasping desperately at shirts and hair.
Enid growls in frustration at the space between them, so Wednesday tugs her to the side and shoves her up against the kitchen counter instead. The taller woman groans against dark lips as cool fingers trail under her shirt and find her abs. They rake over the hard muscle, causing Wednesday to now be the one groaning into the kiss.
“W-Wends,” Enid stutters as teeth and tongue trace down her neck. They continue their path, dipping past the collar of her white button up that’s already mostly undone.
“Wednesday.”
“What??”
The goth pulls back in vague annoyance. Only for two hands to grasp her cheeks and pull her into another deep, but much gentler kiss.
“I love you.” Enid whispers into the non-existent space between them.
Had it been another time, Wednesday might have rolled her eyes at the unnecessary interjection. But she knows its significance now, and her gaze softens to an almost painful degree as she runs her fingers down her wife’s cheek.
“I love you too.”
Enid rests their foreheads together with a dopey smile. “Yeah?”
Wednesday huffs, but the softness doesn’t diminish. “Yes. Just as I always have the last six years. And the three before that.”
Enid steals another long, tender kiss.
“Happy anniversary.”
“Indeed.” A rare smile makes its way to the stoic woman’s face.
Enid giggles and kisses her favorite dimples before they disappear again.
“I regret that I have to go to the publisher so early in the morning,” Wednesday says quietly. “I know you enjoy going away on such an occasion.”
Enid shakes her head and begins to plant kisses down her wife’s jaw. “Guess you’ll have to make it up to me tonight.”
“Is that so?” Wednesday’s fingers thread back into blonde hair as she tilts her head for better access.
“Mhmm.” Without warning, Enid lifts her wife up easily in her arms. Lips never leaving heated skin. “You owe me 7 minutes after all.”
“Only seven?” Wednesday challenges breathlessly. Legs wrapping around the taller woman’s torso as she begins walking them toward their bedroom.
Enid kicks open the door and drops her wife on the bed to look down at her heatedly. “Times an indefinite amount.”
Wednesday looks up with a glint in her eye. “That’s a lot of times for a fake wife.”
“Shut up.”
And Wednesday does.
Not that she has much choice in the matter.
And if she looks like she didn’t sleep at all when she hands over her manuscript to the publisher the next morning…well.
She didn’t have much choice in that matter either.
----------------
Silence.
That’s what falls over the newsroom as soon as Wednesday Addams steps through the door.
Which at first doesn’t seem that striking considering there’s only 12 people that work there, and half of them are interns. But the other half talk plenty enough for everyone. So getting them all to go completely quiet is nearly unprecedented.
Yoko recovers first, going up to the new visitor. “Uh, can I help you?”
Wednesday surveys the room clinically. “I’m here to see Enid.”
“Right…and you are?”
“Addams.”
“Okay, that doesn’t tell me anything.”
“It wasn’t meant to.”
“How do you know Enid?” Bianca walks over with crossed arms.
“That is none of your concern.”
“It is when you come in here asking to see one of our coworkers with no explanation.”
Wednesday tilts her head with a vague flash of respect. “I am not a threat to her.”
“Yeah,” Yoko mutters, eyeing the dark clothes and leather jacket the woman is wearing. “You don’t look threatening at all.”
“Where is she?” Wednesday asks in growing annoyance.
“Out in the field. But she should be back soon.” Bianca doesn’t relinquish her challenging stance. “Do you have an interview with her or something?”
“Or something.”
“What’s in the bag?” Divina nods at the messenger bag on the goth’s shoulder.
“Enough weaponry to demolish this building in less than 30 seconds.”
“Yeahh so maybe we should call the police?” Yoko asks in a high-pitched tone.
“You can try.”
Bianca sighs. “Look. If you just tell us who you are then-”
“Wednesday?”
Everyone in the newsroom turns to the woman who just walked in the door.
But she’s only looking at one person.
“What are you doing here?” Enid hurries over to her wife with a concerned expression, but doesn’t reach out as she normally would, hyper aware of their location. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay…”
“You know this woman, Sinclair?” Bianca inquires.
“Yes.”
“She said she has enough weapons to level this building,” Yoko mutters.
“That’s probably true.”
“And you’re just…okay with that??”
Enid disregards her coworkers as she continues to study her wife’s face.
Wednesday looks around uncomfortably.
Enid immediately understands and moves toward the interview room, beckoning the other woman to follow.
The others just watch in stunned silence, too confused and terrified to ask anything further.
As soon as the door closes behind them, Enid grasps Wednesday’s cheeks and searches her eyes frantically. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, Enid.”
“But you never come here so-”
“I brought you lunch.”
“Oh! Wait…what?”
Wednesday holds up her messenger bag. “You did not have time to pack a lunch this morning. And I knew you would be too busy to get it.”
Enid’s eyes shine in adoration. “That’s really sweet.”
“It’s no-”
Enid kisses the woman quickly before she can fully deny it. “You know, I told you that you didn’t have to make an appearance.”
“I am not here for them.”
Enid laughs in delight. “God, you’re perfect.”
“You did say that many times last night.”
“Shut up. Come on, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”
“I know.”
“Shut up.’’
Wednesday looks on in amusement as Enid grabs the food and begins to dig in. Then she sits next to her wife and pulls out her own meal. Both of them unaware of the pure chaos they’ve unleashed right outside the door.
“Alright,” Yoko turns to her coworkers. “Bets on who we think the hot scary goth woman is?”
“I mean, it has to be her wife, right?” Divina guesses.
Agnes tuts. “I don’t know, they didn’t seem overly affectionate. And we know Enid is.”
Yoko nods. “But it is kind of suspicious that the day after we give her a hard time, some woman pops up at her workplace.”
“Maybe she’s just a witness Enid is interviewing?” Bianca suggests. “They did go into the interview room.”
“Which is definitely where I’d bring my hot wife if she showed up to my work.” Yoko wiggles her eyebrows at Divina.
Agnes makes a loud gagging noise.
“Wait.” Yoko holds up her hand. “She said her name is Addams. Which I presume is her last name. And Enid’s is Sinclair.”
“They don’t have to have the same last name to be married,” Divina reasons.
“I know. But Enid seems crazy about her wife. And the type to take her last name.”
“Hmm true.”
“There’s something about that name that sounds familiar, but I can’t quite put a finger on it.” Bianca rubs her temples, willing the information to come.
“WAIT.”
They all turn to the redheaded intern whose eyes are wide with realization.
Agnes scrambles to her computer. Typing faster than she’s ever written any article.
“What?”
“Oh my god.” Agnes is practically hyperventilating.
“What??” Everyone yells.
Agnes turns her computer screen to the room.
Yoko squints at it. “Holy shit.”
“What?” Divina runs over as well.
“W.F. Addams.”
“Who?”
“The author of the world famous Viper de la Muerte novels??” Yoko points at the screen.
Divina blinks. “Uh…”
“Honestly, do you live under a rock?”
“I live with you!” Divina huffs at her wife.
“Oh my god!” Bianca’s eyes go wide in understanding now too. “Enid called her Wednesday! W.F. Addams.”
“Yes!” Agnes exclaims.
“And Enid kept saying her wife is a writer!”
“YES!”
“Holy shit.”
They all turn in unison to the closed door of the interview room.
The footrace to get there rivals those of the olympics.
“I can’t hear anything,” Divina whisper-yells, ear pressed to the door.
“It’s a soundproof room, dude,” Bianca says dryly.
“Here, let me listen.” Agnes shoves her way through.
“Why would you be able to hear anything more?”
“Because I’m not old like you all!”
“So do you hear anything then?” Bianca challenges.
“...No.”
“Oh for the love of-” Yoko shoves open the door. “You two better have your clothes on!”
They all stumble haphazardly into the room. Only to be greeted by the sight of two women sharing a very normal, very appropriate lunch.
Enid jumps up. “Yoko!”
“Uh, sorry, we thought…”
“Thought…?”
“Are you two married?” Agnes asks bluntly.
Bianca, Yoko, and Divina all groan.
Enid’s gaze flickers between annoyed and amused. “Is that what you guys have been yelling about out there this whole time?”
“Um, no?” Divina tries.
Agnes steps forward. “Just answer the question.”
“Would you guys even believe my answer?”
“Of course!”
Enid glances at Wednesday who only stares back.
“Yes, we’re married.”
Another unprecedented silence falls over the room.
Then-
“Okay, I’m sorry, but I really can’t believe you.” Yoko shakes her head and leans against the wall.
“Oh my god! She’s literally right there!” Enid gestures at the woman next to her.
“Yeah, and I’m still not convinced that she’s not some walking angel of death!”
“Who says that I’m not?” Wednesday twirls a knife through her fingers to emphasize the point.
Enid shoots her wife a look. “Not helping!”
“I wasn’t trying to.”
“Ugh.” Enid waves off her coworkers. “I don’t know what you guys want me to say. We are married!”
“Righttt.” Divina heads toward the door.
“We totally believe you,” Bianca adds on.
“Then ask us.”
The entire group halts in their tracks and slowly turns to the broody woman in the corner.
“Come again?”
Wednesday’s eyes flash in challenge. “You are reporters, are you not? Whose job is to ask questions and figure out the truth? Or is Enid the only one who actually works here?”
Enid bites her lip to cover up her laughter. But her eyes look at her wife in question.
Are you sure?
Wednesday’s gaze doesn’t waver.
The reporters ponder the opportunity for a moment until they all decide at once to sit at the table.
“Alright, Addams and Sinclair.” Bianca nods. “Consider this your formal interview to determine the truth about your relationship.”
Neither of the women flinch.
“How did you two meet?”
“College.” Enid answers easily. “We lived across the hall from one another.”
“What school?”
“NYU.” Wednesday says, knowing they already knew where Enid went.
“Who fell first?”
“She did,” Enid points at her wife.
Wednesday shoots her a glare.
“What, am I wrong?” Enid challenges.
“That does sound kinda suspicious.” Bianca leans back in her chair. “We all know you’re a crazy romantic, Sinclair.”
“Whatever. Next question.”
“Why did you choose to keep different last names?” Agnes asks.
Enid hesitates for a second before responding. “We’re both writers that have always written under these names.”
The others nod in acceptance.
Yoko points at Wednesday. “How long have you been writing novels?”
Enid winces, knowing her wife valued privacy in writing, but Wednesday doesn’t hesitate in her response.
“Twelve years.”
“And how long have you known Enid?”
“Ten.”
“How long have you been together?”
“Nine.”
“And married?”
“Six.”
“As of?”
“October 7th.”
Yoko blinks. “That was yesterday.”
“How observant.”
“You guys didn’t do anything for your anniversary?”
“We did plenty.”
Enid groans and drops her face in her hands.
Yoko snorts. “Touché.”
Agnes leans toward the author eagerly. “I’ve read your books! I’m like, your biggest fan!”
Enid’s embarrassment quickly turns into annoyance. But Wednesday simply raises an eyebrow.
Agnes holds up her notepad to look as official as possible. “I assume Evelyn is based on Enid?”
“It’s dangerous to make assumptions.”
“Perhaps. But it makes sense.”
“Is that a question?” Wednesday mocks.
Agnes presses on. “Evelyn has been in your books from the beginning. Yet you say you started writing two years before you even met Enid.”
“The first one wasn’t published until eight years ago.”
“Quick turnaround.”
“I’m efficient at my work. Unlike you it would seem.”
Agnes smiles slyly. “You’ve given me enough.”
Divina cuts in now. “How did you guys get together?”
“Wednesday showed up drunk at my door one night.” Enid smiles fondly at the memory.
“I wasn’t drunk,” Wednesday hisses. “You were.”
“Ooo what’s this, a discrepancy in your story?” Yoko needles.
“Not a discrepancy,” Enid grumbles. “Just denial.”
“On your part,” Wednesday shoots back.
“You broke into my room thinking it was yours!”
“You opened the door rather quickly.”
“Yeah because I thought some crazy person was trying to break in! And I was right!”
Wednesday huffs. “You weren’t complaining at the time.”
“Yeah, because you were super cute all confused.”
“No.”
“Definitely.”
“...You were still more drunk.”
Enid sighs. “Okay, yeah. Maybe a little.”
“So you guys drunkenly got together?” Divina raises an eyebrow.
Enid scratches the back of her neck. “Um, no. We just awkwardly passed out on the floor and didn’t speak to each other for two weeks after.”
“Okay, that sounds believable.”
“But I asked her out first!”
Wednesday scoffs. “You most certainly did not.”
“I mean, I attempted to first?”
“Also debatable.”
“Oh please. Like you were miss suave when you asked me on that date.”
“At least I was successful,” Wednesday grumbles.
“Where was your first date?” Bianca interjects.
“An asylum.”
They all look at Enid, expecting her to deny it. But she just nods along.
“Wait, you’re serious?” Bianca gives them a judgemental look.
“I’m always serious,” Wednesday snips.
“But Enid is always goofy.”
“Hey!”
Bianca holds up her hands. “I’m just saying, Sinclair. I didn’t think you were the type to enjoy dates at an asylum.”
“Well I’ve gone to some pretty sketchy places for work.”
“Yeah, but that’s not with romantic intent.”
Enid shrugs. “Anything can be romantic if you’re with the right person.”
“Cute, but cheesy.” Yoko cuts in and points at Wednesday. “And you don’t seem the type to appreciate cheesy.”
“I’m not.”
“So why is Enid the exception?”
Wednesday doesn’t stutter. Doesn’t hesitate in her response.
“Because she has proven time and again that she’s worth it to me.”
That shuts up the interrogation for a solid 30 seconds. And Enid can’t help but look at her wife with overwhelming affection, itching to reach out and grasp the woman’s hand.
“Okay,” Divina mutters. “I may believe them now.”
“Yeah, me too.” Bianca nods.
“Not so fast.” Yoko holds up a finger. “These two are both writers. They know how to make things sound good.”
Enid rolls her eyes. “What do you want, Yoko?”
“Rapid fire questions about each other.”
“You guys don’t even know Wednesday!”
“We can get a gist.”
“Fine.”
“Alright, you’re first, Sinclair.” Bianca tries to think of a question. “What’s Wednesday’s favorite food?”
“Coffee.”
“That’s not a food.”
“She says it is.”
“Favorite color?”
“Blue.”
They all frown at the goth. “She’s dressed in all black.”
“Trust me. It’s blue.”
Wednesday flips the knife in her hands. “It’s blue.”
“How long have you been together?” Divina asks again.
“Like she said, nine years.”
“Just checking. What does the F in W.F. Addams stand for?”
“Friday.”
“You’re joking.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
Yoko rolls her eyes. “What’s her family like?”
“Amazing, but also private.” Enid says the last part sternly, knowing Wednesday wouldn't want to get that personal.
“Where was your first kiss?”
“Elevator.”
“Who initiated?”
“Me.”
Wednesday scowls, but doesn’t refute the statement.
“Where did you get married?”
“A cemetery.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“What’s Wednesday’s favorite book character other than the two main ones?”
“Thing.” Enid smiles. “Too easy.”
“What side of the bed does she sleep on?”
“The left.”
“What side do you sleep on?”
“...the other one???”
“You hesitated with that answer.”
“That was a stupid question!”
“What’s Wednesday’s favorite outfit?” Agnes interrogates now.
“Jeans and my sweatshirt.”
“You only wear color.”
“I know.”
“She doesn’t seem the type to wear color.”
“I know.”
The coworkers glance at each other. “Does she have any allergies?”
“Yes.”
“Which are?”
“Color and glitter.”
“...so she’s allergic to you?”
“Something like that.”
Yoko holds out her hand. “Show me her contact in your phone.”
Enid snorts. “She doesn’t have a phone.”
“That seems a bit convenient.”
“Trust me. It isn’t.”
“How did you marry someone without a phone?”
“Do you see how hot she is?”
Wednesday openly rolls her eyes, but Enid can see the tips of her ears reddening under her braids.
“Do you guys ever go out together at all?” Divina asks.
“A lot actually.”
“But we never see you in town.”
“We’re good at hiding.”
Yoko scoffs. “No you’re not.”
“She’s good at hiding,” Enid amends.
“Alright, last question.” Bianca crosses her arms. “What do you love about her?”
“Everything.”
“That wasn’t a specific answer.”
“That wasn’t a specific question,” Enid shoots back. “But it was a truthful answer. She’s my wife. Of course I love everything about her.”
Yoko lets out a puff of air. “Damn. I think she passed.”
Wednesday looks over with something that Enid vaguely registers as pride.
“Maybe.” Bianca concedes. “But we still have one more subject to interrogate. And we’ll actually know if the answers are right this time since we know Enid.”
Wednesday raises her chin in silent challenge.
“Okay, Addams. What did Enid study in school?”
“Journalism and dance.”
“How many siblings does she have?”
“Four.”
“What’s her coffee order?”
“Furraccino with steak sauce.”
Bianca makes a face. “Still gross.”
“I don’t disagree.”
“Hey!” Enid objects.
“Who proposed?” Yoko presses.
“I did.” Wednesday says it with a hint of satisfaction.
“How?”
“On one knee.”
“I guess I walked into that one.”
“What’s your favorite place you’ve been to together?” Divina asks.
“Paris.”
They all glance at Enid. Remembering how she rambled about her trip to Paris last year.
Enid smirks. “I told you guys.”
“Did Enid pay you to come here and pretend to be her wife?” Yoko asks in a mostly teasing manner. Mostly.
“Oh come on!” Enid whines, but Wednesday answers firmly.
“No.”
“Would you tell us if she did though?”
“No.”
“So you see the issue.”
“With you, yes.” Wednesday narrows her eyes across the table.
“Enid never mentioned how rude you are,” Yoko grumbles.
“I prefer the term ‘indifferent’.”
“Of course you do.”
“What’s Enid’s favorite band?” Agnes asks.
“Seventeen.”
“Favorite hobby?”
“Watching awful Tik Toks.”
“Which she also secretly enjoys.” Enid points at her wife.
“I don’t.”
Bianca tilts her head. “Where did Enid go on a classified reporting trip last year?”
“Cold Spring, New York.” Wednesday’s eyes flicker at the memory.
“Huh, she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”
“She didn’t. I followed her.”
“So you stalked her?”
“I will not let my wife go into danger alone.”
“That’s actually kinda sweet.”
“I’m not sweet,” Wednesday growls.
“Which brings me to my last question.” Bianca folds her arms. “You two seem like complete opposites. How did you fall in love with her?”
“That is a juvenile question.”
“Juvenile?”
“You ask as if it seems impossible for me to fall for her. Whereas to me it seems impossible not to.”
Yoko laughs in disbelief. “Okay, damn. She beat you, Sinclair.”
“It wasn’t a competition,” Enid grumbles. But her eyes shine at her wife in adoration.
“Uh, yeah it was. And you totally lost.”
“Whatever.”
“Okay, final consensus?” Bianca asks her coworkers.
Yoko studies the two women across the table with a keen gaze. “I think they’re most likely married.”
“Most likely??” Enid screeches.
“Either that or you’re best friends who are pretending to be married because we gave you a hard time about your invisible wife yesterday.”
“What? That’s…we wouldn’t do that!” Enid looks wildly at Wednesday for support, but receives none.
“Huh, really?” Divina frowns. “You kinda seem like the type to.”
“What does that even mean??”
“Just that you give off that vibe.”
“Oh my god.”
“Maybe you could just kiss.” Agnes smirks.
“We’re literally at work!”
“So?” Yoko shrugs. “Hasn’t stopped me and Divina. Among other things.”
“I did not need to know that.”
“No one did.” Bianca grimaces.
“Come on.” Yoko goads. “Just a quick peck. Should be easy for you if you’re actually married.”
“We don’t do public displays of affection.” Enid’s voice is starting to rise now. “Especially forced ones.”
“Hmm, sure.”
“Ugh!” Enid stands up. “You guys can think what you want, but we don’t mmph-”
She stumbles against the conference table as she’s cut off by soft, cool lips. Her eyes blink in surprise for a moment before slipping closed. Hands automatically rising to cup Wednesday’s cheeks.
The kiss is over as quickly as it began. With Wednesday pulling away stiffly and appearing as if nothing even happened.
“I must return to my writing.” Wednesday begins to pack up her bag.
“R-Right, yeah.” Enid licks her lips noticeably, fully blushing.
Yoko snorts at her friend. “It’s like you’ve never kissed your wife before.”
“I have!”
“I think they’re faking it.” Agnes wears her classic ragebaiting smirk.
“We aren’t faking it! We’re actually married and we literally just kissed and-”
“What’s going on in here?”
Everyone turns to the towering woman who just poked her head through the door.
“Well?” Weems asks.
“We were just doing an interview, boss,” Bianca explains.
“All five of you?”
“The subject is a very interesting person.”
Weems and Wednesday stare each other down. “I see.”
“But the interview is over.” Enid looks pointedly at her coworkers.
“Yes, I should say so.” Weems nods. “Back to work.”
They all trudge out of the interview room.
Enid grabs her wife’s arm and tugs her out the side exit of the building. Breathing a deep sigh of relief when they finally get outside.
“Well that was…a lot.” Enid rubs her temples.
“Your coworkers are imbeciles.”
“They mean well.”
“How dreadful.”
Enid smiles as they approach Wednesday’s car. “Thanks for doing that. You really didn’t have to.”
“I know.”
“You’re sweet.”
Rather than denying it, Wednesday tilts her head and studies her wife carefully. “Does it bother you?”
“What?”
“That our relationship somehow seems unfathomable to them.”
Enid shrugs. “I think they believe it. And if not, who cares?”
Wednesday raises a surprised eyebrow.
“That’s something I learned from you, by the way.” Enid points at her wife. “Besides, if they really knew us, they’d understand.”
“...We work.”
Enid grins. “Yeah, we do.”
Her phone suddenly rings. She digs it out of her pocket.
“Hello?”
“This is Enid Sinclair I presume?"
"Um, yes?"
"I hear you’ve been harassing my assistant.”
Enid’s eyes go wide. “Mayor Capri! I’ve been hoping to interview you!”
“Yes, well, I make it a point not to listen to Tyler whenever possible. But he was quite insistent about this. So I can give you 30 minutes today.”
“Great! I’ll be there in ten!”
The line clicks.
“Yes!” Enid holds up her hands in victory. “Finally!”
Wednesday watches her wife with a hint of smile on her lips.
Enid freezes when she sees it. “Wait, what did you do?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Wednesday.”
“You told me not to threaten Capri. But you said nothing about her assistant.”
“You threatened the Sheriff's son for me?”
“It was not hard. He’s quite pathetic- oof.”
Wednesday grunts as Enid flings her arms around her shoulders and pulls her into a tight embrace.
“I love you.”
Wednesday returns the hug easily. Wrapping her arms firmly around her wife’s torso right there in the parking lot.
“And I you, querida.”
They stay like that for longer than necessary. Eyes closed. Simply enjoying the comfort of each other's embrace. Until Enid reluctantly pulls away.
“I should get going.”
“Indeed.”
Enid presses a quick kiss to the shorter woman’s lips. “See you at home.”
She gets in her car and speeds off.
Wednesday moves toward her own as well.
But not before she sends one last glare toward the open office window.
-----------
“I fail to see how you getting fired is my problem!” Enid clutches her phone as she marches toward her desk. “My job is to write the facts. And the fact is that you’re a terrible assistant and somehow an even more terrible person!”
Tyler growls on the other end. “Do you know who my father is?”
“Unfortunately.”
“So you know your accusations won’t stand.”
“Do you know who my wife is?”
“Why would I care who your wife is?”
“Well you should care. Because you’re about to find out. Again.”
She slams the phone down.
Yoko raises her eyebrows. “Damn. You’d think you were the mysterious monster in the woods by the way you just tore him apart.”
“Just wait until my article comes out. You’ll see how much he deserves it.”
“Oh I have no doubt.”
Agnes peers her nose over the cubicle wall. “It’s cute how you threatened him with your wife though.”
Enid huffs. “Oh so now you guys believe she’s my wife?”
Divina shrugs. “We saw you guys outside earlier-”
“Creepers.”
“We figured no one hugs each other like that unless they’re completely in love.”
A faint blush comes to Enid’s cheeks. “Yeah, well, we are.”
“Disgusting,” Yoko mutters, even as she tugs Divina toward her.
“Sinclair.” Bianca strolls over. “Is your article ready for print yet?”
“Yeah, I’ll send it to you now.” Enid turns to her computer, and hesitates for a moment. Then makes one last edit to the document and hits send. “All set.”
Everyone scrambles to peer over Bianca’s shoulder as she loads the article on her own device.
Four sets of eyes simultaneously look up in surprise.
“What?” Enid asks coyly. “It’s my name.”
“I knew it!” Yoko laughs.
“Send it to the Sheriff’s office first.”
Bianca grins. “Gladly.”
30 minutes later, Enid’s phone rings.
She picks it up with a wicked grin.
“I told you you should care who my wife is.”