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[Video]

teudobi: are hwanyoungz fighting? why are they avoiding each other *facepalms*

replies;

• jeongrutoism: again?! the other day they were awkward enough in the group live

• hyunsukiez: streets are saying jihoon tried to get them next to each other but junghwan kept ignoring the hyung ㅎㅎ

• yoshiyochi: this is making me sad t___t 

• mildobi: u guys r judging a five seconds video. 

• hwanyoungzzz: ? stop speculating things. you guys are the reasons why the members are tiptoeing around each other. 

With how hard So Junghwan is frowning, he’s certain a headache is waiting for him by the end of the night. He exits the tweet, yet, another one takes its place. And another after that. Every single one is discussing the exact same thing, all of them dissecting a ten-second clip. Junghwan huffs and tosses his phone onto the mattress beside him before immediately reaching for it again. He doesn’t know why he keeps reading when all it does is irritate him, but morbid curiosity has always been one of his worst habits.

The video in question was filmed by a fan during one of their recent concert stops. In it, the members are scattered across the stage, waving to fans and running from one side of the venue to the other while trying to keep up with the choreography. At one point, Junghwan and Doyoung happen to pass each other without exchanging a greeting. That’s it. Yet somehow, people have managed to turn those few seconds into evidence that they’re fighting. According to the internet, Junghwan had looked annoyed while Doyoung had seemed upset, and the lack of acknowledgement between them was apparently proof that something had changed.

Which would be a convincing theory if it weren’t completely wrong.

The stage had been unbearably hot that night. They’d already been performing for hours beneath blinding lights while sprinting around the venue, and by that point everyone had been exhausted. Of course he was frowning. He’d been sweating through his clothes and trying to catch his breath between songs. And Doyoung hadn’t looked upset either. If anything, the older had simply looked tired. Unfortunately, once fans decide on a narrative, reality becomes the least important part of the conversation.

What makes it even more frustrating is that this isn’t the first time. Discussions like these have been appearing for months now, resurfacing every few weeks before eventually fading away again. Junghwan can’t even remember where it started. Somewhere along the way, people became convinced that he and Doyoung weren’t as close as they used to be, and every interaction since then has been treated as supporting evidence.

If he’s being completely honest, he might have contributed to it.

Doyoung has always been affectionate. He likes draping himself over people, likes linking arms, likes back hugs and demanding attention whenever the cameras are rolling. Junghwan’s response has always been the opposite. Sometimes he complains and rolls his eyes. Sometimes he tells Doyoung to stop being clingy and pushes him away while laughing because the older’s endless need for affection can be a little ridiculous.

Except that, he does that multiple times and he knows Doyoung will never take it to heart because his Doyoung hyung knows him better than anyone else in this world. 

Only for the fans to take it seriously and think, oh Junghwan hates Doyoung. As if he could ever hate Kim Doyoung.

He suddenly has the urge to throw his phone on the wall. 

“Junghwanie?”

The strong urge immediately melts like butter when he hears that sweet voice. 

Junghwan looks up from his phone just as a blond head peeks through the doorway. The second their eyes meet, Doyoung’s entire face brightens into a smile and something warm settles in Junghwan’s chest.

“Hyung.”

Junghwan can’t help but chuckles, patting the empty spot on his bed. The older crosses the room before immediately climbing onto the bed and settling beside him, resting his head against Junghwan’s chest naturally.

“What were you doing, Hwanie?”

There goes that voice again.

If there were cameras around, Junghwan would probably groan and tell him to stop babying him. He’d complain about it for the sake of appearances and spend the next five minutes pretending he found it annoying. But there are no cameras here. No staff waiting outside the door and no members nearby to tease them. It’s just the two of them in a hotel room in Jakarta after a long day, and under circumstances like these, Junghwan finds that he doesn’t really mind it at all. Circumstances where it’s just him and his boyfriend. 

So he cups Doyoung’s cheek and leans down to press a soft kiss against his lips. It’s funny how the older immediately whines when he pulls away.

“That’s it?”

Junghwan can’t help laughing. “Greedy hyung.”

“I’m your boyfriend. I think I’m entitled to more than one kiss.”

“You get one and a half.”

“One and a half?”

“Take it or leave it.”

Doyoung gasps dramatically and fights a pout, but the smile threatening to split his face apart ruins the effect entirely.

He cups Doyoung’s face and presses a fond kiss against his lips, smiling when the older immediately whines in protest the moment he pulls away once again. The older reaches up to cradle Junghwan’s cheeks in return, thumbs brushing softly against his skin as they sit there for a moment, doing nothing more than looking at each other. 

“Why do you look troubled, baby?” Doyoung asks eventually.

He can’t believe Doyoung catches that. Then again, he probably should have expected it. This is Kim Doyoung they’re talking about. The same person who can tell he’s in a bad mood from a single text message and somehow always knows when something is bothering him before Junghwan even says a word.

He takes a moment before answering, his gaze dropping briefly to where a strand of blond hair has fallen across Doyoung’s forehead.

“You know I love you, right, hyung?”

A faint flush spreads across the older’s cheeks, turning them pink, and his eyes light up with that familiar sparkle Junghwan has always been weak against. “Of course.”

The knot that has been sitting uncomfortably in Junghwan’s chest all evening loosens slightly. “Then it doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Any of it.”

The endless speculation from people who think they know everything after watching a few edited clips online. Junghwan hates admitting that it got under his skin in the first place. He knows better than anyone that this is simply part of the job. People will talk. They always have and they always will. Every interaction is analysed, every expression scrutinised, every joke stretched beyond recognition until it becomes something else entirely. He’s spent enough years in this industry to know that he can’t control what people choose to believe.

What matters is Doyoung curled up against him, smiling at him like he has an armful of the moon, knowing exactly how much he loves him without needing constant reassurance. Their relationship belongs to them, not to thousands of strangers online. As long as they have each other, that should be enough.

Doyoung looks like he wants to argue but Junghwan simply shushes him and begins patting his back in the way someone might soothe a child before bedtime. “The coffee date is still on tomorrow, right? For your vlog?”

The older narrows his eyes suspiciously but allows himself to be distracted. “Mhm. Which means you know we can’t fall asleep together like this, right? I need to be in my room before filming starts.”

Junghwan responds by tightening his arms around him. “Ten more minutes.”

“Fifteen,” the older counters.

“Twenty?”

“Thirty sounds better.”

Junghwan hums thoughtfully, pretending to consider the offer. “One hour, then.”

A groan escapes Doyoung immediately. Junghwan laughs into his hair, finding it difficult to take the complaint seriously when Doyoung is currently the one clinging harder between the two of them. If anything, Junghwan is fairly certain he’d be the first person to protest when the time actually comes for them to separate.

Not that he’s planning on pointing that out.

♡

“Junghwan-ah, is it another lovers quarrel?” Jeongwoo asks as soon as the group’s schedule is dismissed.

The younger looks around for his boyfriend first, only to find no sign of him anywhere in the waiting room. “What do you mean?”

“You keep throwing daggers at me with your eyes every time Doyoung hyung talks to me. What’s up with that?”

Junghwan bites the inside of his cheek and scratches the back of his head, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

“Did I?”

“Don’t tell me it’s your jealousy issue again. You seriously need to fix that.” Jeongwoo shakes his head.

“But I wasn’t jealous!”

“Then what is it? Not a quarrel either…” The older narrows his eyes before his expression turns mischievous. “Or does it turn Doyoungie on when you look at him with that glare?”

“Don’t call him that,” Junghwan immediately frowns.

Because only he can call Doyoung hyung that casually. Only he can call him fondly like that…

Okay, maybe he’s a little bit jealous.

The thing is, sometimes as an idol, you don’t even need to search your own name for videos to find their way onto your phone. That’s just how the algorithm works. Last night, he had been minding his own business, scrolling through mukbang shorts before bed, when a Treasure edit suddenly appeared on his feed. Normally he would’ve skipped it, but the engagement was ridiculously high. More than fifty thousand likes.It’s only natural for him to get curious. 

Unfortunately, the excitement died in his throat the moment he realised what kind of edit it was.

It was a Doyoung and Jeongwoo edit. Which is normal. Shipping happens all the time, especially in a K-pop group like theirs. Fans enjoy pairing members together and Junghwan has long accepted that it’s simply part of the job.

The problem was the clip the creator decided to use. It was from that one T-Map episode. That one where the two members ‘accidental’ kiss was captured on camera.

And somehow, as if that wasn’t enough, the video turned out to be a shipping comparison edit. Half of it consisted of Doyoung and Jeongwoo clips while the other half was dedicated to him and Doyoung.

Junghwan probably would’ve found it funny if he didn’t make the mistake of scrolling through the comments. Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives joking about how it was a “first kiss versus first love” situation. Some people were laughing at the irony of Jeongwoo getting the first kiss while Junghwan supposedly got the romance. Others were debating which ship had better chemistry.

He would’ve laughed too, really. If the first kiss part hadn’t bothered him so much.

It’s childish. The episode was filmed years ago and they weren’t even a couple back then. No, scratch that. They only got together last year, which means they still spend half their relationship figuring things out as they go. Back then, Doyoung had simply been the person Junghwan liked so much it made him miserable. The person who occupied his thoughts far more often than he cared to admit.

And if he’s being completely honest, jealousy had been the root of most of his problems from the very beginning. If Doyoung hadn’t cornered him and forced him to talk after weeks of avoidance, they probably wouldn’t be where they are now. They wouldn’t be kissing in their respective hotel rooms and cuddling whenever they found a rare moment alone together. Junghwan wouldn’t know what it feels like to have Doyoung reach for him first, to have Kim Doyoung in his arms. 

Because the truth is, he had spent years watching Doyoung give his attention to everyone else and hating how much it affected him. Even when he thought he was just going through puberty back then, except that the feeling never really got away after he got older. How easily Doyoung could make him feel like this. How desperately he wanted to be the person Doyoung looked at first. The person Doyoung sought out and chose.

Sometimes he wants to give Doyoung everything. Other times he wants to keep him all to himself.

Selfish, selfish So Junghwan.

So, a year into the relationship is still pretty new to them. They barely get any proper breaks between tours, comebacks, and schedules, and most of the time they spend together as a couple happens in the middle of group activities anyway. There are no spontaneous dates every weekend or long nights spent together without worrying about managers and cameras. Most days, they’re simply Doyoung and Junghwan from Treasure before they’re allowed to be Doyoung and Junghwan the boyfriends.

Junghwan understands that. He tells himself all the time that he needs to be more professional. Doyoung is his own person, not someone he can monopolise whenever he wants, and they’re both old enough to understand that.

But he swears he draws the line at the whole first kiss versus first love thing, really. The more he thinks about it, the more annoyed he becomes. The worst part is that he doesn’t even know who Doyoung’s actual first kiss was because he’s never had the courage to ask. The possibility alone is enough to make his stomach twist unpleasantly. What if it really was Park Jeongwoo?

His face immediately crumples. Before he can stop himself, he lifts a hand and smacks his own cheek.

“Yah!”Jeongwoo screams in horror.

“Sorry, hyung. I’ll be more careful from now on. I seriously need to stop using my phone so much,” Junghwan grimaces.

“That’s not what normal people do when they’re on their phones,” Jeongwoo complains before throwing an arm around his shoulders. Then he flicks Junghwan’s forehead for good measure. “And stop participating in that #ihatemybf trend too. Be nice to Doyoung hyung, you brat.”

“What?”

“You don’t know that trend?”

He immediately shakes his head. Jeongwoo stares at him for a moment as if debating whether or not he’s telling the truth before eventually sighing.

“It’s that TikTok trend where people act like they hate their boyfriends. Some couples are obviously joking, some are being sarcastic, and some…” He pauses. “Some definitely mean it, which is honestly a little scary. I don’t really get the point of the trend either, but that’s basically how you act whenever there’s a camera around and Doyoung hyung is nearby.”

Junghwan’s jaw is on the floor. Because him? Hating his boyfriend? 

“That’s so stupid,” he says immediately. “Who even came up with that?”

“I wish I knew, Hwanie.”

“But I don’t hate Doyoung hyung.” Junghwan frowns, feeling oddly defensive all of a sudden. “And it’s not like I’m trying to ignore him either. It’s just…”

He trails off. Because explaining it out loud somehow makes it sound even more embarrassing.

“It’s just awkward being lovey-dovey on camera,” he finishes eventually. “I know I won’t be able to hold myself back if I start paying attention to him too much. It’s easier to distract myself by talking to the other hyungs instead of Doyoung hyung.”

The older raises his eyebrow at that, and stare at him for a long time. He thinks a minute passed and yet, Jeongwoo doesn’t say what he’s actually thinking about. 

“What?”

Jeongwoo only shrugs at the end. “I guess that makes sense. Has Doyoung hyung ever been hurt by it, though?”

The younger immediately frowns. He really doesn’t like the implication behind that question. Not because Jeongwoo means anything bad by it of course, but because it suddenly sounds like everyone sees him as some terrible boyfriend who spends all his time pushing Doyoung away. As though Junghwan doesn’t care about him enough. As though he doesn’t spend half his day thinking about Doyoung and the other half missing him.

Why is it so difficult for people to understand?

“No. He hasn’t,” he answers firmly.

“Then it’s all good.”

Junghwan isn’t entirely convinced by that response, but he also doesn’t want to continue talking about his relationship anymore. So he changes the subject.

“So when is Ruto hyung finally going to ask you out—”

“Anything but that!”

“But it’s been almost seven years—”

“Shut up!”

♡

When the group finally lands back in their home country, Junghwan doesn’t even wait until they’ve collected their luggage. The moment everyone starts shuffling through the airport together, he quietly slips closer to Doyoung’s side and nudges their shoulders together.

“Can we eat dinner together tonight?” he whispers.

Since Doyoung doesn’t live in the dorm anymore and spends most of his time at his parents’ house, arranging something as simple as dinner has become surprisingly difficult. Their schedules are already hectic enough, and whenever they do get a short break, Junghwan usually ends up sleeping through half of it to recover from weeks of accumulated exhaustion. Before he knows it, the day is over and Doyoung is already sending him a goodnight text.

Doyoung glances at him before his eyes curve into crescents behind his mask. “We haven’t even separated yet and you’re already missing me.”

“I miss you even when you’re in my arms, hyung.”

The older’s eyes widen dramatically before he turns to stare at Junghwan as though he’s grown a second head. “Woah. Who taught you that?”

“Who else? It’s from Prince Kim Tongtong,” Junghwan grins.

Doyoung immediately breaks into laughter, the familiar sound muffled slightly by his mask but no less bright. Junghwan finds himself smiling too, simply because Doyoung’s laughter has always been embarrassingly contagious.

He ignores the fake gagging noise from Jaehyuk and Jihoon behind him though. 

It’s a barbecue place they’ve been going to since their trainee days. The restaurant itself is small and tucked away in a quieter part of Seoul, hidden from the busy streets and crowded enough only during dinner hours. The owner has known them for years now, long before they debuted, and after Treasure became more recognisable, he started reserving a more secluded table for them whenever they visited. It’s one of the few places where they can relax without constantly worrying about someone staring too hard or pulling out a camera.

Instead of taking the seat across from Doyoung like he usually does, Junghwan slides into the seat beside him. The older looks at him curiously.

“I just want to be closer,” Junghwan reasons.

Doyoung blinks, then his cheeks turn a little pink. “Okay…”

Junghwan has to look away before he starts smiling too much.

It’s honestly ridiculous.

They’ve been dating for a whole year already, and have known each other longer than that. Yet sometimes it still feels like yesterday when he finally gathered enough courage to confess. Even now, after all this time, something as simple as sitting next to each other instead of across the table is enough to make both of them flustered.

Stupid lovebirds. Love makes you stupid. 

“Are you hitting the gym tomorrow?” Doyoung asks after they’ve settled down.

Junghwan hums and reaches for his water. “No. I’ll be at the dorm.”

The older raises an eyebrow. “Why? Aren’t you bulking up?”

“Because you won’t be there.”

Junghwan says it so casually while taking a sip of water that it takes a second for Doyoung’s brain to catch up. When it finally does, the older gapes at him.

“Who are you and why do you keep stealing my cheesy lines?”

That makes Junghwan pause. “Am I not always this sweet to you?”

The look Doyoung gives him answers the question immediately.

“Really?!” 

“No.” Doyoung laughs. “It’s just sudden. You caught me off guard. If you keep acting like this, then I seriously need to work harder on my flirting skills.”

His eyes are sparkling when he says it, and Junghwan briefly wonders if Doyoung even realises how unfairly pretty he is. So he reaches over and lightly bops the older’s nose.

“I think you’re flirty enough already, hyung.”

“See!” Doyoung points at him. “What does that even mean?”

Junghwan only laughs.

Fortunately for him, the food arrives before Doyoung can continue interrogating him. As expected, Junghwan naturally takes over grilling duties while Doyoung watches the meat cook. The older’s eyes follow every piece that lands on the grill like a cat trying to catch a fish.

Junghwan can’t help chuckling. It’s been a while since they’ve had proper Korean barbecue, after all. “Promise me you’ll eat at least four portions.”

“Are you crazy, Junghwanie? That’s a lot.”

“You worked hard during the tour.”

“So did you.”

“Hyung.”

“Junghwan.”

“You need to eat properly so you can recover your energy.”

“Here we go,” Doyoung sighs.

“I’m serious.” Junghwan points at him with his tongs. “You always eat so little. And you can’t bulk up if you’re not eating enough. It worries me every time, hyung.”

The older’s expression softens almost immediately. “Are you lecturing me, Junghwanie?”

It’s the exact voice Doyoung uses whenever he babies him. Junghwan almost rolls his eyes. Unfortunately, Doyoung sounds far too adorable for him to actually do it.

“I’m serious.”

“I know, love.”

“Then eat.”

“Okay, okay.” Doyoung laughs, surrendering both hands in the air. “I’ll try. Don’t worry about hyung so much.”

Junghwan hums, because he’s going to worry anyway. No amount of reassurance has ever managed to stop that.

When they finally start eating, Junghwan almost fails to suppress his smile at the stark contrast between them.

Doyoung is still chewing on his first piece of meat, taking his time with every bite, while Junghwan has already managed to vacuum down three pieces without much effort. The difference becomes even more apparent when Doyoung glances over and notices the rapidly emptying space on Junghwan’s plate.

The older leans closer and pats him on the head. “Eat well, baby.”

Without a warning, he sets his chopsticks down and leans over to peck Doyoung on the lips. Their lips are admittedly a little greasy from the food, which makes the older’s eyes widen the second they pull apart, and Junghwan has to double over in his seat to keep himself from bursting into laughter.

“You—”

Doyoung looks genuinely offended, and Junghwan only laughs harder. Once he’s finally recovered, he reaches for one of the lettuce leaves.

“I’ll make a wrap for you, hyung.”

Before Doyoung can protest, Junghwan has already selected the largest leaf available and started piling ingredients onto it, adding three pieces of meat.

“Yah! I’m going to choke on that.”

“Mhm. Close your eyes, hyung.”

Doyoung narrows his eyes. “No.”

“Trust me.”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want to.”

“Doyoungie.”

A groan escapes the older. Eventually, he gives in and closes his eyes. “You’re not putting garlic in there, right?”

“Of course not. Who do you think I am?” Junghwan tries to sound deeply offended by the accusation while he quietly adds a piece of garlic. The giggle threatening to escape nearly gives him away.

To make himself seem slightly less evil, he only adds a small amount of samjang. Doyoung has never been particularly good with spicy food, and Junghwan has no intention of actually torturing him.

“Open your eyes, Doyoungie.”

Doyoung cracks one eye open first, looking at the younger suspiciously. “I don’t trust that face.”

“This is a wrap made with love, hyung.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

“You have to eat it in one bite.”

Doyoung continues staring at him for a few more seconds before finally surrendering. With a sigh, he opens his mouth, and Junghwan happily feeds him the wrap. It only takes him five seconds to find the garlic, unsurprisingly.

“That tongue of yours is amazing,” Junghwan chuckles, with absolutely no nuance. 

The older frowns at him, muttering something but his mouth is too full, so Junghwan asks him to slow down. When he’s done, he blurts out, “You’re not fun.”

“But garlic is good for your health, Doctor Kim.” Junghwan rests his chin on his hand. “Or are you secretly a vampire Kim?”

“I’m So Doyoung,” Doyoung sticks his tongue out. 

The butterflies in Junghwan’s stomach absolutely do not go wild at that. Which is why he immediately reaches over, cups Doyoung’s cheeks between both hands, and starts peppering kisses all over his face aggressively. “I love you!”

Doyoung’s laughter fills the private room. “I love you too!”

♡

Junghwan is in the middle of his evening nap after going on a five-kilometre run around the Han River when his phone starts pinging nonstop beside his ear.

His room is pitch-black, the curtains still drawn from earlier, and the only source of light comes from the screen illuminating with notification after notification. He groans and blindly reaches for the device, squinting against the brightness as messages from Jeongwoo continue flooding his lockscreen.

jeongwoo hyung

ya wake up so junghwan

doyoung hyung is live and he’s clarifying to fans abt ur behaviour

#ihatemybf

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ i told u this was going to happen

He has never sat up so fast in his life. The sudden movement makes his head spin immediately, his body still heavy with sleep while his brain struggles to catch up with what he’s reading. The drowsiness vanishes almost instantly. Junghwan exits the messaging app and opens Weverse, and sure enough, Doyoung hyung is live.

His heart practically falls out of his chest when he hears his boyfriend is still talking about it.

“—it’s not like that… When did I get annoyed by Junghwan?” The older falls silent for a moment, likely reading the comments that keep pouring in. “Ah really…” Doyoung sighs. “Everyone misunderstands… It’s not like that. We don’t fight all the time either… that’s just how we talk.”

He sounds upset and Junghwan’s fingers immediately hover over the comment section. His first instinct is to defend Doyoung. To tell everyone they’re wrong. To explain that Doyoung isn’t bothered by him, that he has never once cried himself to sleep because of Junghwan’s teasing, that the two of them spent last night feeding each other barbecue and arguing over garlic wraps like complete idiots.

Then he remembers he’s using his official Weverse account. Right. That would probably earn him a two-hour lecture from their manager.

Junghwan drops his phone onto the blanket with a frustrated groan. The worst part is that there is nothing he can do. He can’t join the live. He can’t leave a comment. He can’t magically stop people from talking. All he can do is sit there and listen to Doyoung explain their relationship to strangers while thousands of comments continue appearing on the screen. The helplessness only makes him more irritated. 

So he does what normal humans would do when they’re blinded by emotions, he reports all the comments that keep talking about him and Doyoung’s dynamic. He doesn’t care whether they’re from Treasure Makers or casual viewers. If they’re making Doyoung upset, they’re getting reported. It’s completely ineffective and he knows it, but at least it feels like he’s doing something.

Junghwan throws the blanket aside and gets off the bed. He doesn’t bother changing his clothes or fixing his hair. He simply grabs his wallet and phone before rushing out of his room, ignoring the members yelling after him and demanding to know where he’s going. The elevator will take too long, so he takes the stairs instead, running down several flights at a time until he reaches the lobby. By the time he pushes through the entrance, his heart is pounding against his ribs.

He stops the first taxi he sees. Normally he’d think twice about something like this, worrying about being recognised. Like how So Junghwan from Treasure is sprinting across Seoul and climbing into a random taxi looking like he just rolled out of bed.

The address slips from his mouth automatically the moment he gets inside. He’s visited it so often over the past year that it practically feels like a third home. As the taxi pulls away from the dorm building, Junghwan stares out the window and bounces his leg anxiously. What if Doyoung is genuinely hurt by all of this? No. That ’s a stupid question. Of course he is. Maybe not heartbroken, but hurt enough to address it during a live. Hurt enough that strangers can hear the exhaustion in his voice…

And somehow that feels worse because stupid, silly Junghwan likes teasing his lovely hyung whenever a camera is pointed at them or the way he instinctively complains whenever the older gets affectionate in public. People see those moments and decide they know everything. They don’t see how Junghwan brings up Doyoung in interviews without anyone asking. They don’t see how often conversations somehow circle back to Doyoung even when the topic has absolutely nothing to do with him. They don’t see Junghwan quietly checking whether Doyoung has eaten or making sure he gets enough rest after schedules. Most importantly, they don’t know Doyoung the way Junghwan does.

They don’t know how hard Junghwan worked to become close to him after debut. They don’t know how much he respects him. They don’t know that Doyoung is one of the kindest people he has ever met, someone whose patience somehow remains endless no matter how many times Junghwan tests it. They don’t know how easy it became to fall in love with him.

Because that’s the thing. Their relationship has always been so much more than a few banters caught on camera. So much more than edited clips and ten-second interactions. Which is exactly why Junghwan can’t understand why Doyoung is the one answering those comments, the one reassuring everyone and defending their relationship.

If anything, Junghwan should be the one doing it. He’s the reason this narrative exists in the first place. He blinks hard when his vision suddenly turns blurry. He quickly looks away from the window, pressing his lips together just as the driver clears his throat.

“We’re here.”

Junghwan swallows and nods. He pays the fare, adds a generous tip without thinking much about it before exiting the car.

He rings the doorbell and it doesn’t take long for the door to open. Mrs. Kim smiles at him warmly the moment she sees him, and for some reason, that nearly breaks him.

The guilt that had been clawing at his chest throughout the entire taxi ride suddenly grows heavier. She welcomes him into her home like she always does, completely unaware of the ridiculous thoughts running through his head. All Junghwan can think about is how her youngest son spent his evening explaining himself to strangers because of him. Because Junghwan plays too much and people become convinced that he dislikes the person he loves most in the world. And how he’s the worst candidate as her son’s boyfriend.

Her baby… and Junghwan hasn’t been treating him well… 

Junghwan opens his mouth, intending to greet her properly, but Mrs. Kim is already stepping aside with a knowing smile, allowing him to enter. She doesn’t even need to ask who he’s here for. At this point, he’s over often enough that she probably knows his schedule better than he does.

Great.

Now he’s not only a terrible boyfriend but also a brat who forgot to greet his future mother-in-law properly. The list keeps getting longer. 

He mutters a quick thank you before making his way down the familiar hallway, stopping only when he reaches Doyoung’s room. He knocks three times. Three short taps that have become so familiar over the years that neither of them would mistake it for anyone else.

A few seconds pass, then he hears, 

“Junghwanie?”

He turns the knob and steps inside. Doyoung is lying on his stomach across the bed, his phone placed face-down beside him. The older lifts his head when Junghwan enters, blond hair slightly messy from running his hands through it too many times.

“Did you end the live?” Junghwan asks right away.

Doyoung hums. His expression is difficult to read.

The distance between them isn’t large, a few steps since Doyoung’s room isn’t that big. Yet it feels like they’re an ocean away from each other. He closes the door behind him and locks it automatically before turning back around, waiting for Doyoung to say something else. He wishes Doyoung to complain and scold him, or tell him he is the dumbest person on earth. 

But the room remains quiet, and it only makes him more anxious.

After a moment, Doyoung shifts onto his back and places his phone on the nightstand. Then he raises an eyebrow at the younger. “Are you not going to give me your welcoming kisses?”

Junghwan blinks dumbly. 

Okay, first of all, that’s their thing. It doesn’t matter whether they’ve been apart for a week, a day, or a couple of hours. Whenever they see each other after being separated, there are always welcoming kisses involved. Secondly, he hasn’t done it yet because Doyoung usually launches himself at Junghwan before he even gets the chance. And lastly, foolishly, why did that question make his heart flutter? Even now, as if it’s the time for him to get butterflies… 

“Oh.”

“Oh?!” Doyoung gasps. “You’re not my Junghwanie. Please leave. I only want my Junghwanie in this room. My Junghwanie would never forget my welcoming kisses. And he definitely wouldn’t like finding another man in my room—“ 

Doyoung starts talking animatedly, trying to sound silly and adorable (except that he is) but Junghwan doesn’t miss the hard lines on his face. So he sits on the bed and drapes himself on top of the older. The older lets out a surprised sound as Junghwan buries his face into the crook of his neck. Doyoung smells like flowers and citrus and a hint of masculinity. He presses his nose closer to Doyoung’s neck. 

“Junghwanie?”

Junghwan closes his eyes and focuses entirely on the person beneath him instead of responding. The older’s warmth, his steady breathing and the hand that automatically settles against his back. He focuses on those things because they’re easier to deal with than the thoughts still racing through his head. 

The older’s hand begins moving slowly across his back while the other slips into his hair, cradling the back of his head. It’s such a familiar gesture that Junghwan almost feels embarrassed by how quickly it calms him. Doyoung has always known how to take care of him. Even now, when Junghwan is the reason they’re in this situation, Doyoung is still the one comforting him.

Which only makes the guilt worse.

“So Junghwan.”

“Mhm.”

“I love you. Hyung loves you.”

That’s all it takes for the dam to break. One moment he’s listening to Doyoung’s heartbeat, and the next his vision feels strangely hot. A tear slips down his cheek before another follows, disappearing somewhere into Doyoung’s shirt. Junghwan holds his breath instinctively, as though he can somehow hide it, but he’s forgotten who he’s dealing with.

“Junghwan?” A hint of panic slips into Doyoung’s voice as he tries to pull back and see his face, but Junghwan stubbornly refuses to move. If anything, he buries himself deeper into Doyoung’s neck, clinging tighter and wishing, just for a moment, that he could stay there forever and forget about everything waiting outside this room.

“Why is my sexy, handsome, big, strong boyfriend crying?” Doyoung’s attempt at lightening the mood is painfully obvious, but it still manages to pull a wet chuckle out of Junghwan. The sound is weak and embarrassing, muffled against Doyoung’s shoulder, yet the older immediately perks up as though he’s accomplished something.

“Because I don’t deserve such a lovely, angelic, pretty, kind boyfriend,” Junghwan whispers.

“Hey…” Doyoung’s voice softens. “That makes me sad.”

“See?” Junghwan mutters, feeling vindicated for all the wrong reasons.

“You know that’s not what I meant. You deserve everything good in this world, baby.”

Even without looking up, he can picture Doyoung pouting. The image appears so vividly in his mind that it almost makes him smile.

“What made you think that?”

“A lot of things.”

“Such as?”

Junghwan shrugs weakly. “I feel like a shit boyfriend.”

The silence that follows lasts only a second, and he expects Doyoung to really lash out at him now but all he gets is a calm;

“You don’t get to say things like that about yourself.”

“Why not? It’s true…” 

“Because it’s not,” Doyoung frowns.

Junghwan closes his eyes. “I just think you deserve better, hyung.”

“Junghwanie, you—” the older cuts himself off halfway through the sentence. When he speaks again, it’s obvious he’s trying not to snap, as though he’s deliberately choosing his words. “No, where is this coming from, hm?”

Junghwan can hear the frustration Doyoung is trying very hard not to show, which only makes him scoot closer instinctively. He’s twenty years old, built like he could bench-press half the people around him, and yet here he is hiding from eye contact because he’s afraid of disappointing his boyfriend.

“From everywhere.”

“Is this about the stuff I talked about during the live?”

Junghwan remains silent, as a yes.

Doyoung clearly doesn’t like that response because the next thing Junghwan knows, the older is pulling himself away and sitting upright. The sudden loss of warmth forces him to sit up as well, though his gaze immediately drops to the bedsheets.

“Baby,” Doyoung begins carefully, “I promise you there are comments like that for every duo in the group. People leave those comments everywhere. On my live. On Ruto’s live. On Hyunsuk hyung’s live. I just happened to be stupid enough to read one out loud today, okay? We are okay.”

The words should comfort him but it just continues to make him feel bad. Because Doyoung is reassuring him, again.

“H-hyung…” His throat cracks halfway through the word. “It’s me. I keep doing all those things on camera. I keep acting like that and then everyone believes it. Everything happened because of me. I’ve been treating you like shit publicly and now everyone thinks—”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Junghwan’s head snaps up so fast his neck hurts. For the first time since entering the room, he properly looks at Doyoung. His heart immediately lodges itself somewhere in his throat.

Doyoung’s eyes are watering.

“Of course not!”

“Then why do you keep talking like this?”

Junghwan opens his mouth and nothing omes out.

“Did you not hear me just now?” Doyoung asks quietly. “I said we’re okay, Junghwanie.”

The disappointment in his voice hurts far more than anger ever could. Junghwan has never felt so small in his life. Objectively, he knows that’s ridiculous. He’s bigger than every member in the group. Years of taekwondo training gave him broad shoulders long before he started lifting weights, and the gym has practically become his second home. Most people take one look at him and refuse to believe he’s the maknae of the group.

Right now, sitting in Doyoung’s childhood bedroom with his hands clasped together on his lap, he feels smaller than he ever did as a person.

“I know that… I know we’re okay,” he says eventually.

“Then?”

Junghwan swallows. “It’s just hard to believe sometimes when everyone keeps telling me the opposite. I’m sorry, hyung. If anything, it should be your decision to ask for a breakup.”

He watches Doyoung clenches his jaw, tilting his head back for a second, taking a deep breath through his nose as though trying to stop himself from saying something he’ll regret. “Why do you keep talking about that? Y-you’re really making me upset.”

Junghwan bites his lips, not knowing what to do. Is he wrong? He’s the one who keeps making on-purpose mistakes in this relationship, like how time he instinctively hid behind jokes because openly loving Doyoung felt too vulnerable. And being away from Doyoung might be better, even if he knows he’d rather leave the group and terminate the contract if it really happens, but at this moment, it’s all he can think about.

Because he still believes Doyoung deserves someone who would shower him affection both privately and publicly. Someone who wouldn’t make him explain himself to strangers. Someone who loves Doyoung loudly enough that nobody could ever doubt it. Not someone like him. 

Junghwan hates that person already.

“Tell me, hyung.” Junghwan reaches for Doyoung’s hand, only for the older to pull it away before he can touch it. “Tell me if any of my actions on camera have ever hurt you before. Even if it’s just a little.”

When their eyes meet again, Junghwan thinks Doyoung is finally going to cry. Instead, the tears remain trapped in his eyes. The sight somehow hurts even more.

“Why?” Doyoung asks quietly.

“Just tell me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Hyung.”

“I don’t want to.” The older grabs the blanket and pulls it over himself before turning around completely, presenting his back to Junghwan. “I’m going to sleep because you’re being weird.”

The response catches him so off guard that it takes a few seconds for his brain to process it. “So I did hurt you.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Then—”

“Junghwan!” 

Junghwan immediately falls silent. He wants to hug Doyoung from behind, wrap his arms around his boyfriend's waist and apologise for whatever this conversation has become. At the same time, he isn’t sure whether he’s allowed to touch him right now, so he settles for rubbing his face harshly instead.

“Hyung.”

“Stop talking nonsense and just cuddle me.” Doyoung tugs the blanket closer to himself. “You sound like a total stranger, So Junghwan-ssi.”

Junghwan’s hand remains awkwardly suspended in the air for several seconds like an idiot. Eventually, Doyoung groans and turns back around before grabbing the younger’s wrist and pulling him onto the bed.“Hyung, I’m serious…” 

“And I’m serious about getting my cuddle. And my welcoming kiss.” Doyoung glares at him. “Or you can go home.”

“But—”

Doyoung sighs heavily. “Junghwan, I don’t want to talk about it because it’s pointless. The more we sit here analysing it, the more it feels like we’re acknowledging something that doesn’t exist. I already told them during the live that we’re okay. You know we’re okay. I know we’re okay. So why are you insisting on treating this like some huge problem?”

“Because I care about you and I don’t want to brush it off, hyung.” At this point, Junghwan is practically begging.

The older must’ve sensed it too, because he bites his lip so hard that Junghwan worries it might bleed. For a while, neither of them says anything.

Then Doyoung speaks again. “Honestly? I don’t know what you want me to say. And it scares me. Because it feels like you’ve already decided what the answer is supposed to be.” Doyoung blinks rapidly before continuing. “Every time I tell you we’re okay, you keep looking at me like you’re waiting for me to admit the opposite. Like you’re waiting for me to tell you that you’re actually a horrible boyfriend all this time and that I’ve secretly been miserable.”

“Hyung, that’s not—”

“Just listen.”

Junghwan immediately shuts his mouth.

“You want honesty, right? Then I’ll be honest.” He wipes his eyes impatiently. “I’ve never taken any of that seriously. Not once. Because we’re not who we are in front of the cameras. Do I act like a prince all the time? Do you act cute all the time because you’re the maknae? No, right? Jihoon hyung isn’t loud all the time. Asahi hyung doesn’t do weird dancing every second of the day. Nobody acts exactly the same on camera and off camera.”

The older reaches forward and cups Junghwan’s cheek, his thumb brushes across Junghwan’s skin. “You think I don’t know you? Baby, I’ve known you for years. I know what your teasing sounds like. I know what your real anger sounds like. I know when you’re annoyed and when you’re pretending to be annoyed. I know the difference between So Junghwan on camera and the So Junghwan who calls me at three in the morning because he can’t sleep.”

A watery laugh escapes Doyoung. “I know the So Junghwan who will share his food with me but won’t do it to anyone else. The one who remembers every little thing I say. The one who watches me during schedules just to make sure I’ve eaten properly. The one who sends me twenty messages if I don’t reply within an hour.”

Junghwan immediately looks away. “That’s not the point.”

“It is the point. Because you keep acting like strangers know our relationship better than we do,” Doyoung is looking at him with so much pride and he sounds so loving that his tears finally fall. “They don’t, Hwanie. They don’t know how clingy you are when we’re alone. They don’t know that you call me just because you miss my voice even if we are just one room away during the tour. They don’t know that you’re always the first person to praise me and support me.”

Doyoung laughs weakly while wiping at his face. “And honestly? I’d probably be uncomfortable too if you suddenly started hugging me in the middle of a group live.”

That finally earns a tiny laugh from Junghwan.

“See?”

“Hyung…”

“I mean it. I’m happy with what we have. I’m happy with how we’ve always been. I’m happy now, I was happy before, and I’ll be happy in the future too. People don’t know what happens behind the scenes, and that’s completely okay because they don’t need to. This relationship belongs to us, not them.”

At some point during Doyoung’s speech, Junghwan starts crying again. He doesn’t even remember when it happens. A sob escapes his throat. Then another, and suddenly he’s crying so hard that he can barely breathe.

The older cups his cheeks and wipes at the tears with his thumbs, his own eyes still red. “Why are you crying so much today, baby?” Doyoung asks with a wet chuckle. “Do you love hyung that much?”

After a whole day filled with uncertainty, Junghwan finally finds a question where he doesn’t need to think twice to answer. 

“Yes. I love you too much to the point where just from thinking that I hurt you feels like it’s killing me,” another sob escapes him.

“Yah…” Doyoung whispers, touched. “You can never hurt me like that. Don’t believe what they say. Believe me instead. I’m the one dating you, remember? Not them.”

A shaky laugh escapes Junghwan.

“I’m serious.” Doyoung presses a kiss against his forehead. “If I ever have a problem with you, I’ll tell you. If you ever hurt my feelings, I’ll tell you. If I’m upset, you’ll be the first person to know. But right now, the only thing making me sad is seeing you cry like this. Hyung is not going anywhere, Junghwanie.”

This is the most Junghwan has done crying in his life and it’s not even over something huge, if he really thinks about it. Or maybe he’s just a lot more scared at the thought of losing Doyoung than he thinks. Doyoung holds him through it, kissing his face here and there. He even goes as far as rubbing his face against Junghwan’s cheek like a cat, which manages to pull a giggle out of him despite everything.

When his vision is finally no longer clouded by tears, he takes his time studying his boyfriend’s face up close. Doyoung stopped crying a while ago, but faint tear tracks still linger on his cheeks. His nose is rosy, his lips are pink from constantly biting them throughout their conversation, and he’s looking at Junghwan with a smile so warm it makes his chest ache. He’s the most beautiful person Junghwan has ever laid eyes on.

So he tells him that.

Doyoung immediately bites back a smile. His eyes crinkle as he attempts to bury his face into the pillow. “…What the hell.”

“Doyoungie,” Junghwan chuckles, stopping him before he can hide completely. “My pretty Doyoungie.”

“Hyung,” The older corrects automatically. “Are you trying to charm me with all that snot on your face?”

Junghwan hastily wipes his nose and Doyoung bursts out laughing.

“I’m joking! There’s only handsomeness on your face.”

And just like that, all the heaviness that had been suffocating the room seems to disappear through the slightly open window and the gap beneath Doyoung’s bedroom door.

They’re so stupid.

After crying over each other for almost an hour, they’re now lying face-to-face on Doyoung’s bed, exchanging compliments like two teenagers with their first crush. In the midst of it all, Doyoung suddenly pouts.

“Do you feel better now?”

Junghwan nods.

“Good.” Doyoung shifts closer until their noses almost brush. “So can I have my kisses now? Please… I missed you.”

The way he says it is absurdly adorable for someone who is supposed to be the older one between them. His voice is dripping with honey, his cheeks are still pink, and he’s looking at Junghwan as though he’s been deprived of affection for years instead of a single day. And Junghwan is nothing if he doesn’t obey the said hyung.

The moment their lips meet, both of them let out a quiet sigh. Junghwan lifts a hand to cup Doyoung’s cheek while Doyoung immediately leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut. Every time they pull away, one of them inevitably moves back in. A quick kiss becomes another, and another. Doyoung keeps smiling halfway through them, which only makes Junghwan laugh softly against his lips.

“What’s so funny?” Junghwan murmurs.

“You.”

“Me?”

“You are a crybaby. A baby,” Doyoung teases.

Junghwan groans before kissing him again purely to stop him from talking. Unfortunately, Doyoung only laughs harder, the sound is warm and bright and entirely Doyoung. Junghwan realizes then that this is what he had been so afraid of losing. When they finally separate, neither of them goes very far. Their foreheads remain pressed together and Doyoung’s hand is still curled around the back of Junghwan’s neck.

“I love you,” Junghwan says quietly, his heart beating so fast like it’s his first time saying it to his lover.

The older smiles. “I know.”

“I really love you.”

“I know that too, baby.”

Junghwan can’t help smiling too. So he leans forward and presses one last lingering kiss against Doyoung’s lips. He really means it.

If the love So Junghwan has for Kim Doyoung is so overwhelming that it ends up killing him one day, then he will welcome death without a fight and without a single regret. Given the chance, he would choose the same fate in every lifetime.

(A while later, when they’re lying comfortably beneath Doyoung’s blanket and the room has fallen quiet again, Junghwan suddenly remembers the conversation he had with Jeongwoo at the venue. Doyoung is tucked against his side, lazily tracing circles on Junghwan’s arm while scrolling through something on his phone.

“Jeongwoo hyung told me about this trend on TikTok,” Junghwan says.

“What trend?” Doyoung asks without looking up.

“The #ihatemybf one.”

Doyoung lifts his head from Junghwan’s shoulder, blinking at him before a smile slowly spreads across his face. “Oh. That one.”

Junghwan grimaces. “I can’t believe something like that exists.”

“Well,” Doyoung hums, setting his phone aside. “Technically you do act like that sometimes.”

“Hyung!”

The older immediately starts laughing at the offended look on Junghwan’s face. “What? I’m just saying.”

“You are not serious.”

“No, I’m being serious. You do it all the time.”

Junghwan cannot believe this. After everything they talked about today and all the crying. After Doyoung spent an hour reassuring him that he wasn’t secretly upset with him. This is the conclusion he chooses to reach. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“I’m not dramatic.”

For a while they remain like that, bickering over absolutely nothing. The conversation drifts from one topic to another, and Junghwan thinks that’s probably the end of it until another memory resurfaces in his head. One involving a stupid edit video, a stupid comment section, and Park Jeongwoo.

“Is Jeongwoo hyung your first kiss?”

The silence that follows is almost immediate as Doyoung stares at him. Then the older slowly covers his face with both hands.

“No way.”

“Just answer the question.”

“I’m not telling you!” He sticks his tongue out, childishly.

“Hyung. Answer the question.”

Doyoung peeks at him through his fingers. The smile on his face is far too mischievous for Junghwan’s liking. “I don’t want to.”

“So he is.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t deny it either.”

Doyoung’s shoulders shake with laughter.Junghwan can already feel himself getting annoyed, which only makes the older laugh harder. “I’m never talking to you again.”

“Sure, baby.”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

That finally earns him a snort before the older wraps both arms around his waist and buries his face into Junghwan’s shoulder. “Good luck with that.”

Junghwan’s whipped ass only lasts approximately three seconds before hugging him back. Doyoung’s triumphant laughter echoes throughout the room as the answer remains a mystery.)