Work Text:
I've never been the luckiest person.
Sudden bad weather when I just went outside. Cars driving past too close to the sidewalk during said bad weather. Getting my clothes caught on things and torn, you name it, I've probably had it happen. The fact I'm so clumsy doesn't help either…
But today, I got some good luck for once. And I'm eager to show it off.
As I'm walking out onto the field, I spot her in the distance. My trainee, Sirius Symboli, running with both force and grace along the tracks of the Tracen training fields. Well… I say ‘trainee’, but frankly that's just the official title. In reality she makes her own schedules, and the best I can do is sometimes offer alternatives. Help her out with whatever I can, or whatever she orders me to. You'd think I'd finally get some real experience, after getting my first trainee and working with her all this time, but I suppose not. Still, I'm glad to be her trainer, even if I'm barely a trainer at all.
Okay, deep breath. Hopefully I got the schedule of today properly memorized, and Sirius is about to stop anyhow. I wouldn't want to actually interrupt her training…
After the final straight, she begins to slow down, coming to an eventual stop. Her breath is still steady, but I can notice the sweat dripping down her forehead as I approach. In fact, it is practically steaming off of her. It's amazing how she can still look so majestic, even after so much physical activity.
“Sirius! I have something to show you!” I call out, waving an arm as I do. I'm carrying a water bottle in my other hand with a towel draped over my forearm, she lets me do those little things to help still. Lets me feel as if I am at least somewhat of a trainer.
She turns her head to me, smiling that proud smile of hers as she watches me walk up to her and hand her the bottle and towel. “Well, something must have you excited to be barking so loudly, puppy. Go on then, what is it?”
‘Puppy’. It's a nickname she started calling me right when we first met. It seemed like an insult at first, one I didn't have the courage to make her stop saying, but eventually it started to seem more like an odd term of endearment, maybe? Obviously not exactly that, but at least it doesn't sound like it is supposed to be an insult when she says it. So I've just sort of grown used to it by now.
I just don't like the fact it's become so engrained by now that I turn my head even when someone on the street talks about an actual puppy…
Anyhow, after a bit of fumbling in both my head and my shoulder bag, I manage to take out what I was aiming for. The first bit of luck I've had in a long while, proudly presented to Sirius.
“Two tickets to a hot spring resort!” I exclaim, unable to hold back my smile and excitement. Sirius meanwhile raises an eyebrow, before that smirk of hers widens.
“Oh? Did someone perhaps take pity on you and give those to you?” She asks, probably knowing well how my luck is by now. Though… I'm not that pitiable, right?
“What? Nono, you see, I won these at a raffle earlier today! The prize was two tickets, so, well, I thought…” My words trail off as my confidence rapidly deteriorates. Sirius of course isn't having any of it.
“You thought what? That I would go with you?” She remarks, arms crossing. The towel is draped over her shoulder now, water bottle still in one of her hands.
“W-Well, um… yes, I was thinking you could. I-If you want, of course. Unless you'd rather go with someone else…?”
My gaze has shifted down to the ground by now. I wish I had the kind of confidence she does, but even after all this time we spent together I still find myself losing my voice when talking with her. I thought I'd gotten better at it, only to get worse again…
I hate this part of myself…
My spiralling thoughts are interrupted by a hand grazing my chin, before my head is moved up to make my downcast eyes meet Sirius’ gaze. She's the one looking down now, given our difference in height, but she's doing so far more confidently.
She's done it before. Right after winning one of her big races. And just like last time, I can't help but get flustered and lost in her eyes.
“I suggest you stop thinking, puppy. We both know that when it comes to that, I'm the better of us two.” She says, stating it as though it were a simple fact, no matter what my opinion on it might be. Though I do agree… “And I think that I will be joining you for that resort trip. Unless you have objections to that?”
Unable to really form words, I simply shake my head. Well, as best as I can while still in her grasp anyways.
“Good girl. Then we'll schedule that for this evening, let's say at seven. It was the plan to get some proper rest after all, no? Oh, and I'll be holding onto these. You'd agree they're safer in my hands, I'm sure.” She lets go of my chin, making use of my daze to snatch the tickets from my hand.
“I'll see you then, puppy. Make sure to be on time. And dress appropriately.”
She doesn't afford room for arguing as she turns around and walks off, taking the bottle and towel with her. I haven't run at all, yet I still feel like I could use that towel right now with the bead of sweat rolling down my forehead…
But now isn't the time for getting frozen. I slap both of my cheeks, breathing in sharply as I regain myself. I have an evening to plan for now after all!
…No wait, Sirius will definitely be making the plans again. I suppose I'll just make sure I'm in an acceptable state for going to a special place like this with her.
—
…What is acceptable?
I'm standing in my apartment, looking at myself in the mirror. I'm still wearing my trainer uniform, a proper suit complete with tie.
‘Always dress your best, no matter the time, place or occasion. If you don't, people will assume that your lackluster clothing is you at your best. You can say goodbye to ever being taken seriously as a trainer.’
Those are some of the many words my father stamped into me growing up. And I hold myself to them. No matter where I go or why, or when, I always have my uniform on. I know I don't really need to, so many other trainers don't wear a suit themselves, but I just feel… vulnerable without it.
Like I'm showing something to people that I never should.
Showing myself. Not a professional trainer… just myself.
Sirius seems to think differently though. She wears whatever she wants to wear, and it's fine for her. Something about her just makes her awe inspiring, no matter what it is she is wearing.
Unlike me.
And yet she tries to make me dress more casually. At first she'd just make jests about it when I showed up to meet-ups outside the academy in my suit. ‘Well, if it isn't my puppy looking proper as always’. That sort of thing.
But one time, when she invited me to eat with her, she mentioned while inviting me that if I showed up wearing my suit again, she would take me to a place more befitting such official attire. And when I did show up with it, she was waiting for me wearing a suit of her own. Having fully anticipated I'd disappoint her again. And she stayed true to her warning, as we ended up sitting at a high-end restaurant where I just felt way out of my depth.
Truth is though, I don't even have proper ‘going out’ clothes. It's either spare suits, or comfy loungewear I keep for at home. Nothing I'd look good in going anywhere with Sirius.
Looking at myself in the mirror, now stripped of my suit, it just feels more apparent.
I may be able to make training schedules, but I've never been good at keeping to them myself. I'm not like Sirius, who's all toned muscle and smooth skin. I'm more… flabby. My suit is tight enough that it doesn't really show, but without it I feel like I'd need to apologize to Sirius if she saw me, just for making her do so.
She'd probably poke fun at me for being so out of shape… something about ‘giving her puppy some training of her own’.
She's a year younger than me, but it never feels that way…
A buzz interrupts my thoughts, my phone vibrating as a new message comes in. I grab it, reading the text that appears onscreen.
‘Remember, dress casually. I don't care what, as long as it's not a suit. This is a moment for us both to relax. Understood, puppy?’
Sometimes, it feels like she has some psychic connection to me… or cameras watching my movements…
But at least it gives me some push. Anything except the suit. Explicit permission for it. It's still rough, shaking that ingrained mentoring, but I'll have to for her.
I end up going for something that should be fine for heading outdoors. A pair of jeans, with a turtleneck sweater on top. I keep my hairclip in, to keep my bangs from covering my eyes.
It's very simple. Not nearly as professional. But I guess that is what she's asking for, isn't it? It might be best to be sure.
I grab my phone again, raising it. I've never really taken pictures of myself, so it'll probably come out wonky. I hold it up a bit so it shows what I'm wearing below as well before taking the picture.
Then, I send it to Sirius with the text ‘Is this good enough?’. It seems like she's about to respond immediately, only for the ‘is typing’ bubble to vanish as quick as it popped up. It leaves me worrying for a bit, until she finally does send her judgement.
‘It's good enough, yes. Make sure to be on time.’
Well… That's as good as it can get. I should still have two hours to get there, and it's about an hour away. But with my luck, I'd best get going right away.
—
Half an hour later than expected… I knew I'd get delays. Luckily, that's why I went two hours before the meetup time, rather than one hour. So I should still have half an hour before Sirius gets there.
At least, that's what I expected, but I see her standing in front of the building. And she notices me approaching, so there's no time to freshen myself up.
“There you are, puppy. Perfectly on time.” She says, smiling at me. She's wearing dress pants, above which she has a striped buttoned shirt, complete with a necklace around her neck and a watch on her left wrist.
“R-Right, I made sure to leave early so that I would be. I didn't think you'd be waiting for me so early though…”
“Well, I have been looking forward to this. Plus, I'd rather make sure that my poor, defenseless puppy doesn't have to fend for herself waiting for me.”
That tracks… It wouldn't be the first time she'd have to save me from strangers.
“Now, come along. There's no reason for us to keep standing out here when we could be in the hot springs instead.” She says, turning to enter the building. I follow along after her, knowing better than to keep her waiting longer.
The inside of the building has a very traditional style, matching what the outside showed already. Wooden floors, gentle lighting, sliding doors… I oddly feel calmer already just from stepping inside. A little further in, Sirius approaches the receptionist, a black haired Uma wearing a yukata, who greets her with a bow.
“Welcome to Hanabira Onsen, Misses. How may I help you?”
“We're here to make use of these.” Sirius takes the hot spring tickets out of her pocket, presenting them to the receptionist.
“Ah, the lucky winners of the raffle tickets. Lucky indeed, as you are the only guests currently here. We'll be able to have you in two separate baths without issue or wait time, and similarly rooms are prepared as well.”
That's good, more extra delays would have been rough…
“We won't need to be separate.”
…Eh?
“Very well, in that case we have a joint bath just as available. You may find the changing rooms at the end of the hall there. Once you're changed, your hot spring will be the first door on the right.”
Sirius turns back to me and clearly notices my shocked expression, smirking to herself.
“I'll go ahead and get changed first. Just wait three minutes, then go ahead and get changed yourself. Don't leave me waiting too long.”
She walks off after that, as though it is the most casual thing in the world. As though she didn't just directly cause us to be about to bathe together.
Me? Bathing together? With Sirius Symboli?
I feel lightheaded already, and I haven't even entered a bath yet…
Well, no way to get myself out of this, I suppose. So I wait for about five minutes, give it an extra two just to be sure, then go to the changing room.
Back home, just removing my tie already had me feeling naked. Now I'm expected to actually fully strip down. To say I'm nervous is putting it lightly, this is downright nervewracking. Still, all the same I do it, neatly folding my clothes after I remove them and putting them into one of the baskets. I then remove my hairclip, letting my final bit of professionalism fall away together with my bangs as they cover up my eyes. I always keep them long, just for the bit of extra comfort it gives me when I'm alone at home. It helps me feel like I'm hiding myself from the world, and the responsibility I otherwise have.
I grab the provided modesty towel, quickly realizing it definitely isn't large enough for me. I can drape it over my chest to hide that, but it doesn't reach low enough to cover anything else, so I'll need to use my hand for that.
Hopefully Sirius isn't facing the door…
I leave the changing room, before stepping through the first door on the right.
The first thing I notice is the warmth. It's already comforting just from entering the room, even without any clothes on.
The second thing I notice is the bath itself. I can see warm vapor rising from it, flower petals covering some parts of the water but still leaving most of it bare. It's an open air bath, so there is no ceiling and the back wall is mainly comprised of natural rock where the side walls are made of wood.
The third thing I notice is Sirius, her head rising from the right side of the hot spring with her back facing me. She briefly glances over, causing me to flinch as I make sure to keep my lower parts covered and my towel in place, before she returns her attention forward. I notice her ears flicking as she angles them toward me. I never did manage to learn the meaning of those.
“Took you a while, puppy. Come on, get in before you get a cold.”
“R-Right…”
I make my way over to the hot spring's edge. I glance at her briefly, making sure she isn't looking as I take the towel off, setting it on the edge of the spring before I take my first step in, letting myself sink down after I put in my other leg as well. Immediately, I feel myself relax in the warmth, exhaling blissfully as I close my eyes.
“That good, hm?” I hear Sirius remark to my side. Luckily, one of the larger rocks blocks her from my view, and me from hers. I wouldn't dare to let her see me, or risk seeing her. Seeing how she is also…
No, don't. Whatever you do, don't think about it.
“Yes, it is… but why did you make us get a joint bath?” I ask, curious to the reason why she'd even want to do that.
“Simple. Because I know you. Usually, if I leave you alone too long, you start thinking too much. And you have shown that tends to go poorly for you. So I decided to make sure you get some actual relaxation. This is for both of us, after all. I'd rather not need to worry about you the entire time I'm bathing by myself.”
That's… fair, honestly. She really is able to read me like a book at this point. As usual, the trainee is better at taking care of her trainer than the other way around.
“Right, that um… that makes sense. Thank you.”
“You're welcome. So with that in mind, do let me know if you start thinking too much again. Which includes any questions you may have.”
Questions I may have…
There is one. One I've been wondering about for a long time now. And if she's offering to answer them, I may as well try it now.
“Well, I have one.”
“Go ahead then.”
“Why did you choose me as your trainer?”
Sirius doesn't respond. Not right away. It leaves me nervous. Wondering if I just made a bad choice again. If I stepped on some sort of landmine.
“How about I answer your question with another question. Why did you become a trainer?”
…Huh?
“Why I… became a trainer?”
“Yes. You must have had a reason, no?”
…I suppose it was inevitable that it'd come up eventually. It shouldn't be something I'm ashamed of, it's just how it is. But after I saw it wasn't the case for so many other trainers, it became hard to say.
But I have to.
“Because I had to.”
“That's all? Simply because you ‘had’ to?”
“Well, yes. My father was a professional trainer as well, and he wanted me to become one too. So he had my life all planned out from the start. And I, well, followed that plan. I never really had other options.”
“And what of other desires?”
“...Nothing, really. I never had the chance to get attached to anything else. I was already watching races as a kid, I'd have probably gravitated towards it even without his insistence.”
I hear a chuckle coming from her. I turn my gaze toward the sound, even if I still can't see her… I shake my head a bit, it's better that I can't.
“So a similar story to me as expected.”
Wait, what? How could I, of all people, be similar to Sirius Symboli?
“Similar? And… expected how?”
Another snort comes before the rock.
“Come now, puppy. A person as anxious as you, always wearing that suit even when I specifically tell you not to? The only way I can imagine that is if it was drilled into you.”
I guess I'm still an open book to her as always, even there…
“As for the similarity… My father wanted me to become a racer. I was watching races as a child too, and already getting tutors sent at me as well. Where we differ, however, is that I chose how to go about it. I wanted to be a racer. But I wanted to be my own racer, not his.”
“There's… a difference?”
“Of course there is. He would have had me in the triple crown series, most likely. But I never cared for that. My aim is far higher. And none of the tutors he sent at me had the same goal in mind as me. Which would have been the same for trainers at Tracen.”
I see. So the reason that she chose me is because I wouldn't oppose her dream. Because I lack a goal of my own.
“So it's because of me being unable to oppose you that you chose me as your trainer?”
“It's why I chose you. But it's not why you are my trainer.”
“Huh?”
“Any other trainer would have looked at me and my skills, and tried to pursue their own dream. The triple crown, the triple tiara, or whatever other shallow goal they would have in mind. You, however, did not do that. True, you didn't oppose me. Frankly, I expected that you'd either grow a spine eventually and try to, or resign sooner or later. But instead, you chose to support me.”
I look down at the water, putting my hands together. Did I really make a choice there?
“But I did that because there was no other option for me. And because you let me.”
“You had plenty of other options, like the two I just listed. I never made you do anything. You giving me towels and water after my training, you adjusting the schedules when you noticed things I overlooked, you performing those extra health checkups, those were all your choices. And you did well with them. Why else would I allow you to do so?”
“B-But any other trainer could have done those things…”
“Maybe. But no other trainer I had ever did those things. You were the only one.”
I hear splashing followed by movement in the water. I only glance up just enough to catch a glimpse of Sirius moving around the rock, quickly locking my eyes back downward.
Do. Not. Think about it.
“You were the only trainer that actually cared about my dreams, and supported them. You were the one who chose to do so. And if I'll be honest for one moment… I may not have won the races I did without that help.”
She stops in front of me, still standing. She already knows what being close to me like this does to me, she has to know it's even worse with how we are now. But… her words somehow calm me. Much as they are hard to believe.
“...But I'm just a rookie trainer. I'm hardly worth that kind of praise…”
“Maybe. But as far as I'm concerned…”
I see her hand come into my vision, gently placing itself under my chin before she tilts my head upwards, brushing aside the hair in front of my eyes. And despite her being bare and uncovered, despite how concerned I was about it before, despite how I'd been trying to push back thoughts of her before…
Now I can't help but get lost in her eyes.
“You are my one and only trainer. And I wouldn't want any other. So have some confidence in yourself.”
“Is it… really fine for me to be?”
“That, and more.”
“More…? What do you mean?”
“Oh? You're making me show you? Alright then, because you asked for it.”
She slowly moves closer to me. I begin to panic, there's no way she's actually about to do what I think she is, right? No, wait, don't even think about that option! Look away, anywhere else, actually just close your eyes! She's probably just teasing you again, like she has before. It's better to be embarrassed than making a wrong assumption. She is…
She wouldn't…
…
Her lips are soft.
I had thought Sirius was the type to kiss more deeply and passionately. But instead, it's oddly gentle. As though she is easing me into it, letting me share in something soothing and caring, rather than just doing what she desired.
She has always been kind like that. Making sure to take others into consideration.
Somehow, I just never saw myself as part of that. I guess I didn't let myself see myself as part of that. But letting myself think about it now… she really has done a lot for me too.
Is that… how she sees me too?
I only notice the kiss ends as I stop feeling that sensation on my lips, carefully opening my eyes to still see Sirius looking at me. She has that confident smile still, causing the heat to rise to my face, but… something is different about it.
“Well, here I thought that might stop your overthinking, instead it put more thoughts into your head, didn't it?”
“Uh… uhuh… Ahem, um… W-Why did you do that?”
“Come now puppy. I know you may be a bit dense at times, but surely that should get the message across. Really, if the restaurant date somehow went over your head, anything but this also would have.”
She lets go of my chin, making use of my daze to let herself sink into the water beside me. It… definitely did. Sirius, somehow, likes me. I'm not sure why, or what I could possibly have done to earn that, but she does. I don't think I could reject her… But I really should, right? Professional boundaries and all… even if I don't want to…
I look over to her, then back down at the water.
“So um… What now?”
“Now you make a choice.”
“A choice? About what?”
I hear the move beside me, making me glance over. She is holding one of the flower petals in her hand now.
“Two things, really. First, being a trainer. You won't be happy if you just keep doing it purely because your father wanted you to be. But you don't have to stop for that reason either. So I'm asking you, do you actually want to be a trainer? Or is that something you'll discard if you have the chance?”
She glances at me as well, her expression more sincere than the usual smugness.
“And do not think about what I want. Don't think about what he wants. Think only about what you want.”
Being a trainer…
It's my whole life. I was practically born to be a trainer. Never given another option, never given the chance to dream of being something else. Thinking about it that way, it really was forced upon me. But all the same…
I can't bring myself to hate being a trainer.
“I… want to be a trainer, still. I have nothing else, and… I do enjoy it. Seeing your smile when I help you, hearing your laugh when you win. It makes it all worth it.”
“Then let me ask you the second question.”
She looks over to me properly now, and I meet her gaze. She extends the hand to me after letting the petal slide off of it, angled for me to put my own onto it.
“Will you be mine, Atsuki Wanate?”
I don't have to think about it very long.
I move closer to her past her hand, and properly return the kiss she gave me earlier. It should be fine as an answer, right?
When I pull back, I immediately notice something is different. Her face is more flushed than before, and I doubt it's from the hot spring's heat. Her ears are standing tall and alert, her facial expression one of clear surprise. She then looks away, stammering as she moves a hand up near her mouth.
“W-Well, that answers that question… I'm glad.”
I've never seen Sirius like this before. Without that aura of sheer confidence she usually gives off.
It's cute. Cute enough that I can't help but move in for another kiss. One that she returns, this time.
And I can't help but think that I am the luckiest girl alive.