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Careful fingers graze over the bruises across his jaw, his face hot and still under her touch. She winces at the wound, and she reaches into the medical kit set on the foot of her bed, pressing an adhesive rectangular bandage over the purpled skin.
"This is the second time I've patched you up in my room before," Aph lightheartedly laughs, a small smile on her face. She runs her hands over the wraps around his knuckles, then to his arm, patting them down. "Did you know that?"
"I was just thinking about it," Aaron lowly muses. The warm amber of her stare makes his heart melt. "Are— are you sure that I'm... I'm allowed to be here? Your mom, she—"
Aph shakes her head, shushing him. "That's not important right now. If she cares that much, she'll chase us out, and we'll just have to run again. No big deal."
"I..." he trails off, meeting her in the eye, "...okay."
"You never told me how you got hurt so bad, by the way," she thoughtfully remarks before stepping away, seemingly to give him space.
"Oh! I— um, well, I— I was—"
"You were the one to fight Ein, weren't you?"
"What? No— no, I— I just—"
She humorlessly chuckles, concern laced in her voice. "You stutter when you lie."
"I— I don't!" She's known that longer than he has, but he still tries all the same. Aph's eyes are sweltering against his own, and guilt swirls in his gut. "I— I, um..."
"You fought Ein, and you got my phone back," she repeats. Her voice is soft and quiet, and a gentle hand lands on Aaron's shoulder. "...didn't you?"
He feels like he's going to explode if he keeps this up, he— he can't just lie to Aphmau, not to his precious Shu, no, never. He can't do it, regardless of how she knows whether or not he's telling the truth.
"I— I did!" Aaron blurts out, nervously evading eye contact. It's hard to get the words out, like a child being caught late up at night. "I'm sorry, I just— I..."
"You also made it look like Daniel did it," Aph's fingers lightly turn him towards her. There's nothing but care in the way she talks, and it scares him.
"How did you—?"
"I've seen the way he fights, Aaron," she snickers, "he can't win against a sack of potatoes. Daniel doesn't have that kind of endurance."
He can't help but laugh a little too, his face still warm with the ghost of her skin. "Potatoes are pretty tough..."
Aph gives a short burst of full laughter, nudging him in the bicep with a pout. "Shut up."
He shakes his head, clearing his throat. He anxiously looks away. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have gotten involved, but..." he steels himself, shutting his eyes. "It was— it was my responsibility. I— I made him Alpha, I had to do something."
"I get it. I just..." she sighs, "...wish you didn't have to fight."
"I don't go to Phoenix Drop anymore, it was better for me to do it than Blaze," he reminds her, feeling a little uneasy at her crossed arms, the hands gripping at her elbows.
"Aaron..."
She doesn't ever say his name like that. Never... never so...
"You deserve more than that," Aph whispers, her hands reaching up to his face. He doesn't move. Doesn't breathe. Her touch is achingly soft, like she doesn't want to hurt him. Like he wasn't a monster. "So much more than that."
"...wh..."
One of her thumbs gingerly swipes at his cheek, and he goes weak in the knees. "I... I know that we said we'd wait until I graduated to— to be together, but eighteen months feels so far away. I— I don't..."
Tears well in her eyes, and he has to fight to not move to wipe them away. "I— I want to be with you! I can't... I can't wait anymore to be with you, knowing you're in my reach. I just..."
"Aph..."
"I— I want to be closer to you," she stutters, squeezing her eyes shut. "To hold you. Be there for you. As more— as more than friends."
"Wh... A— Aph, why?" Aaron croaks as her hands fall away, raising his own to her face.
"You— you just—" Aphmau sobs, caught on her tongue. Oh, Aph... "You're a good person, you— you do unreasonably stupid shit to help me and those who need it when you don't need to. You'll do anything to ensure the people around you are okay, and yet, you force yourself to be alone. To think low of yourself. And I— and I hate it. You deserve so much better than that, and you don't deserve someone as— as dumb as me in your life, but I—"
"Don't say that!" He cries. It's pathetic, but he cries. "Aph, you— I— I want this more than anything in the world—"
"...you do?"
"Of course I do," he chokes through his tears, pulling her close, softly tucking loose hair behind her ears. "Irene, I love you so fucking much that I forgot how to hate myself, Aphmau. I want this more than anything, I just— I just can't," he feels sick at his own rejection, already regretting the words, "not— not right now."
"Why?" Her hands press against his own against her face, her voice so hoarse it hurts, "why— why can't you?"
"I— I— I'm..."
Aphmau's eyes are red and puffy, her brows so tightly knit he can tell it pains her. Her hands are shaking.
"You don't know what love is, Aaron. She's probably already forgotten you. Do yourself a favor and forget about her, too."
You are love, Aphmau, he shakily inhales, the most precious thing in the whole world.
"Aph, I— I want to be with you, I really do, but our relationship has to wait."
"Do you not..." she tentatively asks, "like me?"
"I love you, so much more than you will ever know," he whispers, rubbing small circles against her face, "but my life— my life is more complicated than I can explain, and I'm not— not ready to get into it just yet." He has to bite back a sob, can't help the tears in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, I— I jus—"
Aph lightly urges him downwards, and he burrows his face into her shoulder, tangling his hands in her hair, careful to not unclip her bow.
"It's okay," she murmurs into his ear, "if you aren't ready, I can— I can respect that, alright? I'll wait for you. It's okay."
"Aph," Aaron shakily pulls away to cup her face, staring her in the eye, "you— you will always be the one for me. I'm— I'm not ever going to let you go. My heart wouldn't let me. E— even if you find someone else, I will always love you."
Snff... snff... "...can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out. She doesn't speak for a while.
"Can you promise me, that..." she takes a shuddering breath in, "even in the future, eighteen months from now, we'll get to be together? I— I don't care if we can't date now, I don't care if— if you're never ready, I just... I just c—"
"I promise."
She nervously laughs. "You didn't even let me finish, I—"
"I want that."
Aphmau completely freezes, and he almost forgets to let go of the breath he'd been holding.
"I want to be with you, more than anything. I— I promise that we can be together someday. It'll happen, it just... not yet."
She doesn't move at all for a few moments. When she does, her voice is low in a way he's never heard before. "You need to seal that promise."
"Wh... what do you mean?"
"With— with a kiss."
I get to... "Al— alright."
She looks visibly taken aback, her face flushing a deeper, gorgeous red hue. "Really?"
"I don't intend on going back on this promise."
He can barely react before her mouth is against his, her hands snaking up to his nape, his own finding her waist. It's so gentle and so loving it makes him dizzy.
When she pulls back, he can taste strawberry chapstick on his lips.
"When I'm ready to be with you," he murmurs, his eyes still closed, relishing in the breath against his skin. "I'll kiss you again."
"Promise?"
May Irene strike me down the day I break a promise with you, Aphmau. "I promise."