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It started off as a very normal night at the Pike’s, dinner and a movie after the game between Montreal and Ottawa had been canceled due to a broken water main.
The meal had been lovingly loud as always. Ilya and Hayden chirping at each other while Shane and Jacki shared fond eye rolls. Four children arguing over what movie to watch, and what kind of ice cream should be had for dessert.
They’d still been arguing when Shane and Hayden had left to buy said ice cream, promising to come back with a surprise flavor, and secretly happy for a moment of peace from the chaos that Ilya, being a menace, was so smugly encouraging.
That’s why, when Shane’s phone rang not twenty minutes later, and it was Jacki, calling him and not Hayden, he knew immediately that something was wrong.
“Shane” she said before he could even ask “you guys gotta come back”
“What happened?” He asked, alarmed as he motioned for Hayden to grab the closest carton of ice cream and follow him as he started for the self check out “is everyone ok?”
“We’re fine, the kids are still watching the movie but five minutes in Ilya ran for the bathroom and now I can’t get him to come back out, I don’t wanna force my way in, but I can hear him crying in there”
“What movie was it?” Shane asked, following Hayden to the car “Please god, not Bambi”
“No” Jacki said “No, I would’ve known better than that, it’s um, it’s Tarzan”
“Fuck” Shane said smacking his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut.
“I know” Jacki said “the whole opening scene went right over the kids heads, but Ilya…” she paused “I’m so sorry Shane, I feel terrible, it’s been years since I watched this movie, I didn’t even think about it”
“No, you’re ok” Shane assured her “it’s not your fault, just tell him through the door that I’ll be there soon ok? We’ll be back in five minutes”
He hung up, looking over at a very confused Hayden, who was already pulling out of the parking lot as he asked “What happened?”
“Tarzan happened” Shane said and Hayden’s eyes went knowingly wide “oh shit” he said “the parents…”
“yeah” Shane said “might wanna step on it”
When they got into the house, nothing initially seemed out of the ordinary. The kids were piled onto the couch, deeply invested in their monkey movie. Jacki hovered between the living room and the guest bath, not wanting to leave Ilya alone, but also not wanting any of the children to come looking for her and start asking questions about why their usually funnest uncle was distraught over a Disney movie.
Hayden took the ice cream to the kitchen, beginning to dish it up into bowls as Shane made a b line for the bathroom, sharing a knowing look with Jacki. “Ilya, honey?” He called softly “it’s me, I’m coming in”
He let himself into the bathroom, and the sight before him broke his heart. His husband was curled up in the bathtub, arms wrapped around his knees and chin resting on them as he quietly sobbed. Shane was by his side in an instant, climbing into the tub without a moments hesitation. He gently pulled Ilya against his side, hugging him tightly and kissing his hair. “He lost everything” Ilya sobbed “His Mama and his Papa at the same time. He was so little, Shane, just a baby! And the Mama monkey, she lost her baby too, is not fair!”
“I know, sweetheart” Shane said, nuzzling his cheek against his forehead “I’m so sorry you had to see that”
“I’m sorry too” a voice said, and they looked up to see Jacki standing in the doorway, holding it open just enough so that her body could fit halfway through “I should’ve thought about it when the kids picked it”
“Is not your fault” Ilya managed to choke out his eyes going wide suddenly as he asked “are they ok? I did not scare them did I?”
“Not at all” Jack assured him, glancing behind her with a smile “they’re completely engrossed”
“And ice cream drunk” Hayden added, slipping in past his wife and coming forward with a small bowl of cookies and cream, and a spoon in his hand. “Here you go, bud” he said, kneeling before the tub and handing it to Ilya before he sat down on the closed toilet lid. Shane smiled as his husband quietly thanked him and began to eat, never able to deny a sweet treat, even as the tears kept rolling down his cheeks. Shane gently smoothed his curls back, murmuring softly “eat up sweet boy, and then I’ll take you home, it’s been a long day”
“What will we tell them?” Ilya asked when he’d finished, passing the bowl and spoon to Shane, who passed it back to Hayden “ I don’t want any of them to think they did something to make us go, I don’t want to make them sad or scared”
“I don’t think you could make them sad or scared if you tried” Jacki told him gently “they adore you, both of you”
“Yes, I am the fun one” Ilya agreed, making Shane smile, glad to hear him being usual cocky self despite being triggered “We can tell them you got a tummy ache from too much mac and cheese?” Jacki offered “they’ll believe it, it happened to Hayd last week”
“Hey!” Hayden defended himself with a grin “it’s good!”
“What’s going on?” A small voice asked, and then Arthur was there beside Jacki, pushing into her hip so he could peak around the bathroom door. Ilya sat up and quickly wiped his face, letting Shane help him to his feet so that he could step out of the tub and cross the space to kneel in front of the little boy “I have a bellyache, Artyusha” he told him “your mom and dad and Uncle Shane were just checking on me”
Arthur’s ever observant eyes went wide with understanding “was it the Mac and cheese?” He asked “do you have diarrhea like daddy did?” Ilya laughed wetly, Shane and Jacki joining him as Hayden rolled his eyes and shook his head, smiling in spite of himself.
“Yes” Ilya said “in Russian we say ponos, new word for you and Dad. You call him this when he is being mean, teach sisters too yes?” Much to Hayden’s chagrin, Arthur beamed and nodded. “Good boy” Ilya said as he got to his feet, and then Shane was at his back, placing a steadying hand on his hip “I’m gonna take Uncle Ilya home now, ok bud?” He said to Arthur “so he can rest his tummy” and the little boy nodded, hugging their legs and getting loving hair ruffles from them both before he let his mom lead him back into the living room.
The couple said their goodbyes to the Pikes and made their way out to their car. When they were on the road, Shane looked over at Ilya, and his heart broke to see his lovers eyes filled up with tears once more. “Oh baby” he said softly, reaching for his hand and pulling it to his mouth for a kiss. “I did not want them to see me upset” Ilya sobbed “they are just kids” and Shane nodded his understanding.
“I know, sweetie” he said “but it’s alright, you were great with Arthur. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing for kids to see a little bit of emotion from adults, especially men. Thats how they learn that it’s ok for boys to cry right? That they have nothing to be ashamed of?”
Ilya nodded and sniffed “yes” he agreed quietly “I did not know this until you taught me”
Shane’s heart fluttered as he squeezed his lover’s hand and gave it several more kisses. He wanted to pull over and just hold him, but he resisted, due to the two hour drive ahead of them. “Why don’t you close your eyes, lyubimyy?” He said softly “just rest ok? I’ll put you to bed when we get home” the Russian man nodded and rested his head against the window, lulled by the hum of the engine and Shane’s warm hand in his own.
Ilya slept for the entire drive, and Shane was grateful, knowing he needed the reset after getting so worked up. His sweet, sensitive man felt things so deeply, even when he tried to pretend that he didn’t. It was one of the things Shane loved about him, but it was also something he’d become very protective over, he was the keeper of his husband’s big, bleeding heart.
When he finally parked in their driveway, Ilya lifted his head and looked around, expression calming at the comforting sights of home. “I wish we had Anya” he said, and Shane gave him a soft look “I know” he said “we’ll go get her first thing in the morning ok? It’s late, I’m sure she’s snuggled up between my parents right now”
They had dropped Anya off with Yuna and David for the night before they’d left for the game, before learning of course that it had been canceled. They weren’t planning to stay the night in Montreal, but they had known that they would be back very late, and didn’t want her to be on her own for too long. Her Ba and Grandpa’s house made more sense for one night than the dog hotel that usually hosted her during away games.
Shane got out first and came around to Ilya’s side, opening his door for him and pulling him into a hug, which his husband melted into, leaning on him for comfort as they made their way into the house.
Shane locked them in for the night, and was ready to guide him the rest of the way up to bed, but the look on Ilya’s face stopped him. “I need to finish this movie, Shane” he said “I must know what happens to the baby, and the mama monkey”
Shane just looked at him for a moment, thinking it over, he didn’t want to trigger his beloved any further, but he could understand how some closure was in order after the traumatic opening segment he’d endured. “Alright” he said cautiously “but we’re skipping to where you stopped, ok? I don’t want you going through all that again, and if you need to pause or stop for the night, you tell me”
Ilya nodded, reaching for Shane’s hand and leading him to couch. They got comfortable as Shane found the movie on Disney + “cover your eyes” he said, and for once, Ilya listened, looking away as he carefully skipped ahead, exhaling when he safely passed the image of the dead parents on the floor of the treehouse.
“Did you see her rescue baby Tarzan?” He asked, and Ilya shook his head “ok, then we’ll start there” he decided, not pushing play until the leopard, Sabor, Shane remembered, was tangled in the ropes, and Kala and the baby were safely on the ground beneath it.
Ilya grinned at the protective growl that Kala gave Sabor. “Fierce Mama” he said “reminds me of Yuna” and Shane smiled “she definitely remembers this movie” he said “I only made her watch it a thousand times, and sing me the song for months before I’d to go sleep, I think I was like eight? When it came out”
“Song?” Ilya asked
“yeah” Shane said “you’ll see in a minute”
The song in question brought Ilya to tears again, but they were sentimental and sad, this time, not triggered, at least not in the same way. Shane held him tightly through it, rubbing his back and kissing his wet face. He paused the movie after that, deciding that a small break was in order.
“She loves him so much!” Ilya sobbed “I wish someone had loved me like that, after my mama was gone”
“I do, sweetheart” Shane said, feeling his own eyes prickle at the edges “I know it’s not the same kind of love, but”
“It matters” Ilya said shakily “it’s everything” they kissed softly, and Shane smiled, resting their foreheads together and stroking his wet cheek “you wanna keep going, or should we stop for tonight?” He asked and Ilya shook his head “no” he said determinedly, wiping his swollen eyes “keep going”
He tensed a little during the confrontation after the elephant stampede, and shed a few more tears when Kala and little Tarzan were listening to each other’s hearts, and Shane understood both, hugging him through it.
When the grown versions of Terk and Tantor began to interact onscreen, he told Shane to pause it again, and he did, though a little confused.
“So” Ilya said, eyes focused like they were working something out “girl monkey, and elephant, are both kind of, gay?” Shane laughed loudly at that, deeply amused that his husband’s ridiculously sharp gaydar, could apparently be applied even to fictional cartoon animals.
“I guess so” he said, still chuckling “I never thought about it before but, yeah, shes definitely a tomboy, and he’s a little bit more femme. Rosie O’Donnell voices Terk, if that’s any indication”
“Queer Disney animals” Ilya said, smirking “I like this, is how you say?” “Progressive?” Shane offered with a chuckle “especially for the 90s, yeah”
“Let’s keep going” Ilya said, and he nodded as he hit play.
When the grown version of Tarzan defeated Sabor, Ilya cheered, jumping up off the couch like he was watching a winning hockey game, and Shane laughed, shaking his head. After that he was quickly, deeply invested in the love story, snuggling himself down so that his head was resting in Shane’s lap as his husband stroked a gentle hand through his hair.
“That’s you and me” he said decidedly “you are my Jane”
“It is ironic isn’t it?” Shane said, thinking back to all the years he’d been saved in Ilya’s phone under the secret nickname.
“Yes” his husband said “ and you teach me lots of things, English, and how to be nice person”
Shane scratched his head affectionately, smoothing a hand down his back as he assured “you already were a nice person babe, you’ve just gotten better at showing it”
“Because of you” Ilya said “and I teach you Russian, like he is teaching her monkey speak. You give me family too” he added with a grin, pointing at the professor “that is David, but ours is cooler” and Shane laughed “he’ll be so thrilled” he said.
“But I do not trust that one” he declared, narrowing in on Clayton when he came onscreen “I do not like his eyes”
“Fair” Shane said with a nod “he’s definitely the villain in this”
“He is evil” Ilya said “I know evil, I was raised by it”
They watched on, the curly haired man was calmly invested, until the scene where Kala takes Tarzan back to the treehouse started to get him worked up again. “Man with gun better not hurt those monkeys” he said with conviction “especially Mama Monkey, Tarzan cannot leave her behind Shane, my heart will break”
“No baby, she’ll be ok” Shane assured him, pausing it again and rubbing his back “he doesn’t leave her, do you want me to tell you what happens so you’re ready?”
“No” Ilya said “I must watch and find out”
“Ok” Shane said, snuggling a little closer “here we go”
He pressed play again, holding Ilya tightly through climax of the movie. The Russian man was on the edge of his seat, eyes wide and hand clenched in Shane’s. “No!” He cried, flying to his feet again when the gun went off and Kerchak fell “No, no! Papa monkey is not supposed to die either! Kill that man, Tarzan! Kill him! Take his gun and snesti yemu blyad bashku!”
Shane didn’t know whether to laugh at the ferocity or cry at the sentiment, so he just shushed his partner softly, pulling him back down against his side as he shivered with rage. “He’ll get his” he assured him, tightening an arm around his shoulders and rubbing at his arm “just watch”
Ilya cheered wildly when Clayton accidentally strangled himself in the vines, practically beating his chest like he’d joined the world of the apes and crying out “Svoloch! You deserve it!”
Kerchak’s death seemed to take the last of his energy from him. The exhausted man was somber as he watched the final embrace between father and son. “His Papa is proud of him” he said quietly “I wish mine had been proud of me, before he went”
“He didn’t know you, Ilyushka” Shane reminded him gently “it was his loss, not seeing how incredible you are, but I’m sure he knows now, wherever he is” Ilya nodded and leaned against Shane, yawning as he curled over into his husbands lap again. The dark haired man wrapped an arm over his belly and Ilya took his hand and cradled it to his cheek. He turned his lips into the palm to give it a kiss as Shane stroked his thumb along his cheekbone.
The ending finally seemed to soothe him, the last of the tension finally melting away when Jane and the professor decided to stay in the jungle with Tarzan and the apes. “Feel a little better now?” Shane asked, and he nodded, whispering “yes, thank you for watching with me”
“Anytime, love, I forgot how good it is, thank you for reminding me” he paused before adding “and no more Disney movies for you, ever, unless Im right there to screen and approve them first”
Ilya laughed tiredly, his eyes were already closing as the credits rolled, and Shane leaned over him, kissing his temple before he quietly began to sing along to Kala’s lullaby in his ear, choking himself up a little when he got to the second verse:
Why can’t they understand the way we feel? They just don’t trust, what they can’t explain, I know we’re different but, deep inside us, we’re not that different at all, and you'll be in my heart. Yes you'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever more…
Ilya stirred just little, turning his face up to Shane’s and meeting his lips in a soft kiss. “Take me to bed?” He whispered, and his husband nodded and smiled tiredly, placing a final kiss on his forehead before he turned off the TV and scooped the man he loved up into his arms. Ilya might have protested being carried if he wasn’t already half asleep, he was dead weight, snuggled into Shane’s neck, but the smaller man managed, thanking god for his dedication in the gym. He was still humming quietly to himself as he carried him up the stairs to bed.