Chapter Text
The hospital gown currently covering Emily was absolutely hideous. Something she never thought she would wear willingly again, and certainly not in front of Andy Sachs.
Andy and Emily had been together for two years, becoming closer when Emily reached out after runway. It started off as getting coffee together, once a month, though the two of them began to call each other once a week and talk for hours. One morning Emily got a call from Andy, asking to meet her later that day, and as Bronwyn and Roark were with Frank for the night she promptly invited Andy over. Dressed in probably the most casual outfit Andy had ever seen her in, Emily made sure she had lots of cheese and wine, knowing that it was probably going to be a long night.
“I broke up with Peter” Andy admitted, her voice small.
“Well..that’s” Emily went silent. She wasn’t quite sure how to react to it. She knew Andy was too good for Peter, way too good for Peter. When Andy told her about the arguments they had before she went to Italy, a part of Emily was surprised that she went back to Australian man. Then again, she couldn’t help but wonder if Andy wanted to simply conform to society’s standards. Have the job, the boyfriend, then eventually get married and have a baby.
“I know, I know. We were only together for two months, should’ve fought harder blah blah blah” Andy continued rambling. “But the truth is, I wasn’t in love with him. I’m in love with someone else”.
Emily didn’t answer, her gaze holding Andy steady. Even though Andy felt like she was shaking, the calmness in Emily’s deep cerulean eyes kept her grounded.
“I’m in love with someone else. And I’ve been in love with someone else for twenty years”.
Emily’s eyes widened, and she felt her heart thudding in her chest. She knew where this was going. Andy was going to tell her she was in love with Miranda and had been all along. That the twenty years of longing Emily had been through was for nothing, that once more Miranda would win everything while Emily was left to fall.
“Okay” Emily nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. Damn it, she should’ve said something sooner . “Do they… does this person know?”
“No” Andy admitted, her chocolate brown eyes meeting Emily’s blue. “She doesn’t know. We knew each other twenty years ago, went our separate ways and then reunited a few months ago. She’s this amazing, talented woman who probably wouldn’t look twice at me, let alone reciprocate these feelings”.
Emily didn’t know what to say. She tried to not look at Andy, but the second she looked away her eyes started filling with tears. She inhaled, her breath shuddering as she tried to stop the tears.
“It’s Miranda, isn’t it?” Emily snapped, and again it felt like her heart was going to shatter into a million pieces. Emily didn’t mean to snap, but she was fed up of always coming second to Miranda. She followed the rules, she worked hard, but still she always lost to Miranda Priestly.
“Em, no” Andy leaned forward, resting her hand on the red-head’s. “It never was Miranda. It was always you”.
Emily’s eyes were still filled with tears as she looked at Andy. Her warm chocolate eyes met Emily’s blue eyes, tear filled as the emotions couldn’t be held back, tears flowing down her cheeks. For once in her life, things finally seemed to fall into place.
“I look like I’m going to some hideous skirt convention” Emily drawled, though smiled as she noticed her wife making her way to the couch.
“You don’t, baby” Andy reassured her wife as she gently kissed her forehead. “You look stunning in everything”.
Emily didn’t reply, though Andy squeezed her hand in reassurance. This was their fourth time back in the fertility clinic. Their fourth round of reciprocal IVF. The first time, things simply didn’t work out. Emily, one to research a lot knew that it didn’t always work the first time. The average was three cycles of IVF for a live birth. Even so, a part of her was disappointed, a part of her felt like she had failed by not being able to get pregnant. The second time they did things differently, opting to have a medicated cycle as opposed to the natural cycle they tried the first time. It didn’t work, and again Emily blamed herself, though she knew it wasn’t her fault. With support from Andy, and with Bronwyn and Roark eager for a sibling, she knew she had to try again. The third time it didn’t work either, and a part of her was ready to give up.
Emily was sat on the bathroom floor with her legs pulled up to her chest. Bronwyn and Roark had gone to bed, and she clutched the negative pregnancy tests in her hands as she stared at the wall.
“I’m sorry” Emily whispered. “I’m so sorry. I know how much you want to have a baby. I’m sorry”.
“Emily, baby” Andy said softly, kneeling on the bathroom floor. She shuffled herself closer to her wife and held her hands, a warm and grounding presence. “You don’t have to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault”.
They knew they wanted to have children together, using Andy’s egg while Emily carried. While Andy did want children, she didn’t love the idea of being pregnant, and froze her eggs to give her more time. Emily on the other hand had already been pregnant twice, enjoyed being pregnant and was more than happy to go through it again. Except this time, she’d have someone she loved by her side. Someone she loved deeply who supported her in every way she could. As opposed to her last two pregnancies when she was married to Frank, who was not at all supportive and emotionally detached from her.
“What do we do?” Emily asked. “I want a baby with you, I do. I want to have a baby. With you, I want to have your baby”.
“Then we try again” Andy stated simply. “We’re in no rush, we can wait as long as you want until you’re ready. We can try again. This isn’t the end of the road, it’s the beginning”.
And they did. Two months later, after talking to the fertility specialist they were back in the IVF clinic. The hideous gown provided little warmth in the cold clinical room, but Andy’s arm around her shoulders was more than enough to keep Emily steady and warm. Slowly, Emily lifted her legs into the stirrups. A sort of her was nervous, but she’d done it before, she’d already done it twice and now she had Andy by her side supporting her through every step of the way, keeping her grounded through the procedure.
It wasn’t comfortable, but soon the worst part was over and the doctor left.
“I’m so proud of you” Andy murmured softly, handing Emily a glass of water as she sat on the edge of the couch. Her legs were still trembling, but after going through this a few times Emily felt she knew what to expect. Emily remained on the edge of the bed, as Andy passed her some wipes to clean herself up.
Andy felt slightly guilty about the whole thing, part of her wished that she hadn’t told Emily that she would rather not carry their child. She’d seen Emily go through it four times now, and knew how badly she wanted it. Even so, if carrying the baby was what it was going to take, Andy would do it for Emily in a heartbeat, even though a part of her didn’t want to, she knew how badly Emily wanted to be pregnant.
The night before their lab draw had arrived. Andy was in bed, leaning propped up against the pillows with her laptop when Emily walked in.
“Bronwyn okay?” Andy checked, closing the laptop and putting it onto the bedside table.
“She is” Emily smiled, perching on the end of the bed.
“Are you okay?”
“I am” Emily replied, nodding in reassurance. “I want to take a pregnancy test”.
“Okay” Andy nodded.
“I know, it’s probably not the best idea, but I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing again”.
“Okay”.
“That’s it?” Emily frowned. “You’re not going to tell me how you think it’s a bad idea, how I probably shouldn’t do it?”
“No” Andy spoke softly. “I don’t”. Andy sat herself up straighter, swinging her legs down to the floor and padded over to the bathroom. After reading the instructions, Emily took the test and washed her hands, the two wives anxiously waiting in the lavish en-suite. The three minutes dragged by, but neither of them wanted to look until the timer was up.
Andy’s watch buzzed against her wrist, and Emily covered her face with her hands.
“I can’t look” Emily murmured.
“Do you want me to?” Andy asked, and Emily nodded in response before making her way back to the bedroom, pacing anxiously at the foot of the bed. Andy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through her mouth as she picked up the test and turned to look at her wife. Emily had stopped pacing, perching on the edge of the bed.
“You’re pregnant” Andy beamed, and as Emily looked at her wife the brunette had the widest smile on her face.
“I’m what?” Emily whispered.
“I don’t think that’s from the trigger shot” Andy handed the test to Emily and the redhead’s eyes widened, two dark lines, two dark pink lines.
“I don’t think so either”.
Even so, Emily wanted to wait for the blood test before getting her hopes up too much. The next morning, Andy woke up before Emily which was unusual for them, as usually Emily would be up and preparing breakfast for the children. Andy tiptoed down to the kitchen, making a cup of coffee and some breakfast for Emily. The patter of feet could be heard as Bronwyn and Roark woke up and made their way down the stairs into the kitchen.
“Good morning Andy” Bronwyn greeted with a smile.
“Where’s mom?” Roark asked with a yawn.
“She’s still asleep” Andy answered. “I wanted to make her breakfast in bed. We’re going to the clinic today, to find out if everything went well”.
“Okay. Can we help?”
“Of course buddy” Andy smiled, “do you two want to do the pancakes?”
Andy supervised as the two siblings made the pancakes, helping pour the mixture into the pan and flip them, before transferring them onto a few plates. The plates of pancakes were organised onto an ornate tray, with Emily’s usual coffee, two glasses of milk for the children, Andy’s cup of tea, some smashed avocado and toast with a few flowers on the side in a small vase. Bronwyn and Roark made their way upstairs, through the door into the master bedroom and climbed into bed.
“Mom!” Roark greeted as he shuffled himself closer.
“Good morning” Emily smiled, shuffling herself to sit upright. “What’s all this?”
“We made breakfast in bed for you” Bronwyn supplied. “It’s the big day today”.
“It is” Emily smiled, catching Andy’s eyes. Andy knew she was nervous, but no matter what happened they’d get through it together.
“But whatever happens, we’ll get through it together as a family” Andy finished, joining her family in bed for breakfast. Once breakfast was finished, they had to get changed. Bronwyn and Roark had to go to school, and both Emily and Andy had work. With Bronwyn and Roark’s schools being a twenty minute drive apart, usually one of the children would go with Andy and the other with Emily. Today it was all different, they all went in one car together, dropping off Roark at Colleagiate and then Bronwyn to Chapin before going to the fertility clinic.
Emily nervously bounced her leg up and down in the waiting room, Andy squeezing her hand calming her down and keeping her grounded. The nurse called them through, calmly talking through as she applied the tourniquet and drew Emily’s blood, and then it was over.
They were free to go back to their lives and await the phone call.
The phone call that would change the whole trajectory of their lives.
Were they going to have a baby or not?
The call came at three o’clock, just before Emily was due to leave to collect Bronwyn from school.
And after she had the call, Emily continued about the rest of the afternoon as usual.
She collected Bronwyn from school and then Roark, making her way home.
Andy had to stay late at the office tonight, and the children were already in bed when Andy arrived back home.
“I’m so sorry I’m late” Andy apologised profusely. “It’s been crazy today. Are you okay?”
“I am” Emily smiled.
“Did the fertility clinic call?” Andy asked as she followed her wife through to the kitchen.
“Why don’t we have dinner first?” Emily suggested, and Andy knew she wasn’t going to get much more out of her wife for now. Reluctantly, Andy sat down as Emily plated their food, placing Andrea’s in front of her.
“What’s this?” Andy asked.
“Well, I’ve got baby carrots. Baby corn and baby back ribs”.
“Baby everything, but?” Andy frowned confused, and realisation soon dawned on her face. Her face immediately broke into a wide smile, and as she looked up at her wife she saw she was smiling too.
“I got my beta-HCG back, and it was 198”.
“One hundred and ninety-eight!” Andy’s eyes widened. The clinic said that anything above fifty would confirm pregnancy, and Emily’s was nearly four times that. “You’re…you’re pregnant”.
“I am” Emily smiled, and she opened her arms as Andy abandoned her baby-themed food and made her way to her wife. “I’m having your baby”.