Chapter Text
Chapter One
『Thou Who Speak’st in Snake’s Tongue』
Act One
The Conceit of Vanity
He ran.
Taking Patrasche with him, Natsuki Subaru fled through the night, and he left them behind without looking back — the oni girl, Rem, all of it — because looking back was a thing he no longer had the right to do.
Subaru: “I need to—I need to figure this out. I know I can. I just need—”
His fingers tightened around the reins until his knuckles went white, the leather biting into skin that didn’t feel it.
Subaru: “Even if I have to die again. And again. And again. I’ll—”
But he knew, even as he said it, that the sentence had no ending worth reaching. He knew it the way you know a wound has gone bad before you look at it. I’m powerless. I can’t save them. I couldn’t save her, and I won’t be able to save her the next time either, because I’m the same useless thing I was the last hundred times. He could not wield a sword. Could not conjure flame. Could not stand the way Reinhard stood or lead the way Crusch led. He was only good at one thing in this entire world, and that thing was dying.
Subaru: “Ah—”
The tears came without his permission, the way they always did now — frustration and grief and something closer to hatred, all of it boiling up at once until even Patrasche felt it through the reins and slowed beneath him, then stopped.
He sat there a long moment, staring at nothing. Far ahead, black against a blacker sky, Flugel’s Tree stood like the only fixed point in a world that wouldn’t hold still.
Subaru: “Why—why does it have to be me?”
The scream tore out of him and went nowhere, because there was no one on this road to hear it. He slid from the saddle and his knees hit the dirt and he drove both fists into the earth like it owed him an answer.
Subaru: “Why am I so weak. Why do I have this — this thing — why does it have to be me who carries it—”
He kept hitting the ground long after his hands had gone numb to it.
Subaru: “I can’t beat Petelgeuse. I can’t be the hero Rem needs. I can’t be the knight Emilia wants. I’m weak, I’m pathetic, I hate myself for it—”
The words tore out of his throat raw.
Subaru: “So somebody just — tell me. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
Silence answered him. Wind, and the cold, and his own ragged breathing.
Subaru: “I don’t want this anymore.”
???: 「Why dost thou weep?」
Subaru went rigid.
Subaru: “…What?”
???: 「Why dost thou break so easily, when thou hast struggled this long already?」
The voice was deep, archaic, entirely unfamiliar, and it came from everywhere and nowhere — not displeasure, he realized after a moment, but something closer to curiosity, the way a man might examine an insect that had just done something unexpected.
Subaru lifted his head and found nothing. No one. Only the dark, the road, and Flugel’s Tree keeping its distant watch.
Subaru: “Who — who said that—”
A short, scornful laugh came back at him, though Subaru himself had been the one laughing first — a dry, broken sound that had nothing to do with humor.
Subaru: “Ahh, great. Perfect. I’ve finally lost it.”
???: 「Make no mistake, thou hast not lost anything. Mine venerable self is verily real, and verily unimpressed.」
Subaru wiped his face with the back of one filthy hand.
Subaru: “Oh yeah? Then where the hell are you?”
???: 「Within thine Od.」
That, somehow, was worse than if the voice had said nothing at all. Subaru laughed again, bitterer this time.
Subaru: “My Od? I thought my Od was useless. Useless. Useless.”
???: 「Hmph. Thou shouldst not so readily belittle a thing thou hast not bothered to understand.」
Subaru: “Easy for you to say. The only thing I’ve ever managed to do in this world is ruin it a little more every time I open my mouth.”
???: 「And yet thou returnest, each time, to mend what was broken. Dost thou not cast thyself, again and again, into suffering for the sake of others?」
Subaru’s teeth clenched.
Subaru: “All I did was stop some Wolgarms. And even that didn’t really work.”
???: 「Thou art mistaken.」 The voice sharpened at once, no patience left in it. 「Hadst thou not acted, two Royal Candidates would have perished where they stood, and a village besides would have been ground into nothing. And shouldst thou fail now, all of it shall be lost again — and lost for good, this time, with no return.」
Subaru: “Then what am I supposed to do?! Die again?! I can’t beat Petelgeuse, I can’t be the hero Rem deserves, I can’t be the knight Emilia wanted, I’m weak and pathetic and I hate it—” His voice cracked clean through. “So tell me. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
A long silence followed. Then, quieter, almost gentle in its contempt—
???: 「Thou canst begin by loving thyself.」
Subaru’s breath caught.
Subaru: “…I can’t.”
It came out instantly, without thought, the truest thing he’d said all night.
Subaru: “I can’t love myself. I’m not Reinhard. I’m not Julius. I’m not some chosen hero out of a story. I’m just — Subaru. Weak, pathetic Subaru.”
???: 「And why not? Thou art brimming with potential thou hast not the wit to see. Thou hast defied despair more times than most men face it once. Thou hast given thyself up, again and again, for people who are not even thine own blood.」 A pause, almost mocking. 「Take pride in that, if thou hast nothing else.」
Pride. That word again.
???: 「The oni-girl cherishes thee. The half-elf trusts thee. Even the spirit in the library has begun, however grudgingly, to acknowledge thee.」
Subaru: “They can’t—they shouldn’t—”
???: 「Thou dost not understand the weight of thine own deeds. So thou must be taught it.」 The voice rolled through the dark like something ancient stretching after a long sleep. 「Stand. Take pride in thyself. If thou dreamest of becoming a hero, then cease dreaming, and become one.」
Subaru’s whole body trembled.
Subaru: “…You’re right.”
Who is this. Who is talking to me. Who is dragging me up out of this.
Subaru: “Who are you?”
A low laugh answered him, dry as old paper.
???: 「Before thou learnest mine name, answer this first: dost thou, even now, accept thyself?」
Subaru hesitated. Then, slowly—
Subaru: “…Maybe.”
Not fully. Not yet. But maybe.
???: 「Fear not.」 Something almost amused crept into the words. 「In time, mine venerable self shall remedy that.」
Light gathered at the edge of the road — small, drifting motes, like wandering spirits called home. Subaru’s eyes went wide as they converged, merged, and took on the shape of a man: tall, regal, draped in dark violet finery that belonged to a court four hundred years gone. Pale skin. Sharp, prideful features. Violet hair falling past the shoulders, framing eyes that held nothing but unshaken confidence.
The man laid one hand over his own chest and inclined his head — not in greeting, exactly. More the way a king nods to confirm that yes, he has noticed you exist.
Stride: 「Former Sin Archbishop of Pride.」 His eyes found Subaru’s and did not waver. 「Stride Vollachia.」
Author’s Note:
Welcome to the rewritten and deluxe edition of The Harbinger of Pride.
Tonight, I’ll be releasing the first phase of this rewrite, which will go up to Chapter 12 — so, pretty much all of Book One: The Conceit of Vanity. This first section has been rewritten from the ground up, and I’m really excited to finally share it.
This took me literally about a month to write out, especially with Re:Spirit King still being worked on at the side and Re:Swapped Stars usually taking up my weekends. So, yeah, this has been a pretty packed writing stretch for me.
For anyone who read the older version of Harbinger, first of all, thank you. This story has been with me for a long time. I started it when I was much younger, and looking back, there are a lot of ideas I still love… and a lot of execution choices that make me want to bury my face in my hands.
Please trust me, this version of the story is much less idiotic than what my fourteen-year-old self came up with. Haha.
The main goal of this rewrite is to take the original heart of The Harbinger of Pride and give it the care I always wanted it to have. Better pacing, stronger characterization, cleaner prose, more natural integration into Re:Zero’s world, and a much heavier focus on Subaru, Stride, and the consequences of this divergence.
The most notable changes will start showing up around Chapter 4, where the rewrite begins branching more meaningfully from the older version. From there, the structure, character dynamics, and overall direction will become much more refined.
This story was one of the first big things I ever wrote, and after six years of growing as an author, I want to make it the best it can possibly be.
To returning readers, thank you for giving this story another chance.
To new readers, welcome to The Harbinger of Pride.
I hope you enjoy Book One.