Work Text:
Between IM 2 and 3, Cat Dad Series
Tony woke with a startled scream halfway to his lips. He had been dreaming again, about hot Afghani sand, a dank, cold cave, water flooding into his mouth and his lungs. Nightmares of being unable to breathe, the coughing that developed that sent knives through his chest where the battery sat, the endless creeping chill that made him think that he would never be warm again. Then the wildly roving eyes of Yinsen as he bled out on bags of rice, the absolute crushing pain of losing his savior, his friend, sacrificing himself for Tony, telling him that he was going to see his family.
The nightmares had started almost as soon as he had escaped, immediately once the sedation had worn off at the base hospital where they had taken him. The therapists from the Red Cross and doctors from the military tried to get him to talk about it, but he had refused, outright, completely muting himself any time they tried to talk to him. Even during the military briefings they had subjected him to, he had kept his story as brief and as limited as possible. They knew he was hiding things from them, but they eventually relented and allowed him to go home.
He had hoped that getting back to familiar surroundings would help, would bring back the normalcy of his life from Before. He was wrong. If anything, it seemed to almost make it worse. Pepper didn't know the extent of the night terrors, he had done his utmost to keep it from her. She hadn't moved in yet, but he knew as soon as she did, she was going to know about it. He didn't want her to know.
Desperately, he didn't want the details of what had happened to live in her mind as well as his. So much better to keep it to himself, to spare her the nightmare (and such a simple, little word to describe torture, torment, death...None of the terms were sufficient to even start to describe what it had been like...) of caves and death and destruction; pain and blood and so much endless fear.
But Pepper was away, she had flown to New York that morning, there was a shareholder's meeting she'd needed to attend. He was alone in the mansion for the first time in several months, and he was handling it far worse than he'd hoped.
"Jarvis, uhm, can you give me a status update on Pepper? Don't wake her up, it should be near midnight over there, but, just, tell me that she's okay?"
"Certainly, Sir. Miss Potts is currently sleeping peacefully, heart rate and breathing normal. She has her first meeting at eight o'clock tomorrow morning. Do you wish for me to have her call you before?" The AI's warm voice soothing Tony's ragged nerves.
Rolling over in the bed, blankets thoroughly tangled around him already, Tony threw his arms wide. A long sigh escaping even as he winced at the ever-present weight of the reactor pressing against his already reduced lung capacity.
"Yeah, that'd be great, J. But don't tell her about tonight, I don't want her to worry."
"Understood, Sir, but I might add, I don't think you give her enough credit. She is well aware of Sir's...difficulties."
With a bark of fretful laughter, Tony regretfully agreed. "Yeah, well, let's not rub it in, shall we?"
"Certainly, Sir."
Tony laid silent for another few minutes, trying to decide if it was worth trying to sleep again (How many days had it been since he last slept more than an hour, two, tops? It felt like years...), or if he should just get up and see how far caffeine could take him before his body just gave out and he lost consciousness.
Before he could decide, Tony heard the door creak open slightly, startling him to sitting bolt upright for the second time that night. Before he could scramble out of bed, he felt a small weight on the mattress and heard an inquisitive little trill. Dilly made her quick-jump way from the foot of the bed up to his lap. She stood there a moment, her blue eyes searching his, before she carefully shifted her weight back and put two tiny paws on his chest, wide, somehow wise, blue eyes staring now even closer to his deep brown, so full of pain and fear.
She cocked her head to the side, another inquisitive little chirruping trill coming from her tiny black and white chest.
Giving her a slight smile, his heart rate still too high, but dropping, Tony gently reached out to stroke her chin with a roughly calloused forefinger.
"Hello, Lovey. Did you come to check on Daddy?"
Dilly's response was an eye squeeze, followed by rubbing her head under his chin, she loved the scratch of his goatee on her little face.
His smile broadening, Tony ran his hands along her small body, enjoying the feel of her velvet-soft fur and her ever waving tail.
"At least some ladies like my beard scruff, Little Bit. Your Mamma says it's too rough, and I should use conditioner. But you approve, don't you, Lovey?"
Settling himself back down further into the bed, Dilly proceeded to curl up against his chest, under his chin, sitting just above the reactor. The RT put off a slight heat signature, and Tony was fairly sure that she liked it, just like she enjoyed laying on laptops and the top of appliances down in the workshop. Cats always knew the warmest spots to cat loaf on. He'd been constantly cold ever since coming back from...There...and he could appreciate the constant search for warmth.
They laid there in near silence for a time, until Tony heard, as well as felt, when Dilly started her motor, her purr rumbling through her tiny body, vibrating slightly against his foreshortened sternum. Smiling softly to himself, his mind started to wander, though fortunately into brighter avenues than what had plagued him such a short time before.
Without conscious thought, he was humming a tune he only half remembered, some long ago and far away childhood memory, one of the few that were good. He and his mother were doing...something, he couldn't quite make out what, even in the memory, but she was happy and singing, and he was very small and smiling up at her in delight. It was one of those really early memories, mostly color and light and haziness, sounds and feelings more than definite sights and specifics. Slowly, his humming grew slightly louder, and he even remembered a few words of the song.
Tilting his head slightly so that he could at least attempt to look at the kitten sleeping on his chest, Tony began to sing for her, knowing she liked the lower range tenor rumble of his voice, and the vibration of his chest.
"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender green..." more humming as he forgot the words, "When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be my queen..." his voice trailed off, the memory replaying in his mind as his eyes grew distant and soft.
"You'll be wed in a dilly dilly dress of, lavender's blue, dilly dilly..."
Gently, his fingertips continued to quietly rub across Dilly's head, neck, back, and then over her tail, the very tip quietly tipping back and forth in a steady rhythm. The gentle vibration of her purr, rising and falling with her breathing, nearly sending him back to sleep.
Just as he was about to nod off, he felt another small thump against his side, followed by a slightly deeper, "mrow?" somehow questioning in its tone. Smiling and opening his eyes once more, Tony looked over to see Phil standing at his side, patiently waiting to be welcomed into the sleep pile Tony and Dilly had created. Raising his arm slightly, the orange and white tabby gladly took the invitation, and quickly settled into a slightly fluffy ball tucked against Tony's flank, and halfway under his arm. Shortly thereafter, Phil's purrs joined that of his sister, and Tony realized he was warm, and actually felt...safe...for the first time since Pepper had left the day before.
Tony felt the heavy pull of sleep on his exhausted body, and hoping that the presence of his two tiny protectors might keep the worst of the nightmares at bay, he allowed his heavy eyes to drift closed again. As he fell asleep, he heard Jarvis start to very softly play the Lavender's Blue song from the speakers in the ceiling, just above the level of hearing. Into that warm cocoon of care from both his created and fuzzy children, Tony drifted into a rare untroubled sleep.
AN: Reviews are bread and butter for a writer, if you enjoyed this, or have criticsms, please take a moment to review. And if you have anything you'd like to see happen in this little alternate universe I'm playing in, let me know! Plot bunnies love to share the toast and jam, too. Until next time!
- RB