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***IMPORTANT REMINDER***
PLEASE READ UP TO CHAPTER 74 OF TAMON'S B-SIDE (多聞くん今どっち) AT LEAST BEFORE READING THIS, OR YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING OR THE EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE. THANK YOU.
*Ok, still here? Let's gooooooo*
A Chance at Happiness: Chapter 1
His house felt a little different than usual. A little humid and warm, but after the excitement of celebrating the new year, the buzz still hadn't left them and it seemed to spread to their surroundings and make everything seem more cheery.
The two talked for a while about the Kohaku and X-real, not noticing the passage of time. After some time, Utage glanced at her phone. It was already 3:03 pm. She started to stand up. "Oh, I'm sorry I stayed talking for so long. It's time for me to head home."
Tamon flinched. "Ah, um..."
She looked at him and said with a friendly smile, "I don't want to be a hindrance to your studying for the entrance exams. I also feel a bit anxious about being here just relaxing instead of working..."
Tamon looked at her, a little nervous. "W-wait," he said softly.
She stood up and started walking towards the door. "Well then..."
He quickly stood and rushed over to her, blocking the doorway. "Wait a minute!! I still have something I want to tell you."
Utage looked so startled by his sudden actions that she froze. "Y-yeah?"
He cleared his throat and sat on his knees. "Sorry.... Um, you don't have to do anything, just stay with me forever, okay?"
She looked slightly confused. "Jimehara-san...?"
He stared at his hands. "You remember the thing I wanted to talk to you about after the Kohaku...? It actually had nothing to do with X-real."
He took a deep breath. "You might be suprised... It might even scare you... It might feel unpleasant but... there's something I really want to tell you."
He paused for a moment. His heart was pounding hard in his chest, he felt both more nervous and more excited than he ever had in his life. He looked up at her, staring into her eyes.
"I love you."
He felt like he was almost falling apart from nerves. He kept going, almost desperate. "Not as a fan, nor as a housekeeper, or even as a friend, but as a girl. I love you, Kinoshita-san."
By the time he finished speaking, his face had gone bright red. His heart refused to settle, and he could barely think straight. The only thing that he could even focus on was her reaction.
She looked startled. Her face had also gone red, the shade almost resembling a pale tomato. She was frozen in place, causing his nerves to go haywire and make him start rambling.
He hid his face in his hands. "I thought that if we became friends, we could be together forever. But I realized that wasn't the case at all. 'Because it's my job,' 'because we're friends' or things like that... I wanted to be with you without needing to look for reasons like that."
He dry swallowed and lowered his hands slightly, peeking through his fingers. "Even if they don't exist... I simply wish to be close to you."
Through his fingers, he could see her face deepen in color. Her mouth was hidden by her hands. Disbelief flashed across her face.
He lowered his hands even further, fully revealing his lovestruck, hopeful eyes. "Could it be...?"
"Tamon-kun....." Her beautiful voice seemed to almost pierce through the sound of his heartbeat.
"Yes...?"
"I..."
"Yes...?"
He could scarcely breathe. He felt as if he was drowning in his own feelings of anticipation.
"I love you!"
Her hands fell from her mouth as she blurted the words out. She was trembling slightly, seeming to be both shocked and relieved to have said those words.
He stammered a bit. "I-i'm sorry, what?"
"I... I love you. At first, I only saw the idol on stage who cheered me up when I was going through a hard time. I had fallen in love with your "Ikehara" self! I fell in love with how you wanted to make the whole world smile. But then, I met you in real life. I've seen your "Jimehara", your breakdowns and your anxiety."
She looked directly at him as her words spilled out of her mouth. "I've seen you push through it all, I've seen your constant consideration, your sincerity, your genuine love for the ones you care about, and I've seen your truest smile. I fell in love with your beautiful sincerity, and with all of you."
Tamon was utterly transfixed, almost forgetting to breathe. He could hardly believe his ears. She loved him. She loved him, the pathetic, clingy excuse of an idol. The thought was intoxicating, and he felt as though time stood still, freezing them in the moment.
He reached forward, forgetting that he was still on his knees, and fell flat on his face with an "oof".
"Tamon-kun!"
He heard her footsteps toward him and felt her hands cradling his face. He stared into her eyes, his arms barely supporting him.
"Are you okay?!"
His eyes drifted shut and he smiled as he leaned into her hands, happier than he had ever felt in his life. The knowledge that one person he adored more than anything else in the world loved him back meant more to him than life itself.
"Uta-chan..." He murmured. He reached up with a single hand and gently put a hand on one of hers, rubbing it with his thumb. "Say it again, just so I know..."
"What do you mean?"
"Please, tell me again that you love me." He was desperate to hear those words again.
"I-i love you, Tamon-kun."
He squeezed her hand gently. "Again, please."
"I love you."
He took a breath and asked "Uta-chan... Can I... kiss you please?"
He heard her stammer and let out a shallow, shaky sigh. What if she said no? Was he moving too fast? Would she think he was disgusting for even asking?
To his surprise (and his delight), she finally let out a stammered "yes."
He wasted no time in pulling her closer to him, eager for the chance to finally hold her. He looked into her eyes, a deep and beautiful brown color, and leaned forward. He savored the moment before closing the distance.
He had never felt more alive, and had never felt more adoration for any person, than at that moment.