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Nikki isn't a Companion, but she thinks she understands them a little better than most people. At least, when she's able to understand much of anything these days. So when Bear lets her in on the secret, that Josh's gorgeous, doting girlfriend is a Companion, her first thought isn't what a loser Josh must be, to have to pay for a girlfriend, but instead how being a Companion would stack up against her current situation. She thinks that over a lot, racking up the pros and cons to Iris' existence every time she sees her. Nikki watches Iris from inside her body, as something that is not her puppets her body around and no one around her seems to notice the difference, and she wonders, What must it be like to be you?
Iris doesn't know she's a Companion, of course, they never do. Nikki wonders whether she'd be happier if she didn't know about the One-Wish Willow. Probably not—she'd go insane trying to figure out what was happening to her, why she was no longer in control of the things she said or did. Why there was something else living inside of her. But maybe she wouldn't be as aware of how wrong this all is, of how Bear chose the fake Nikki's obsession over the real Nikki's friendship. Iris is also shackled to a man who's so ordinary in his awfulness that Nikki can no longer bring herself to feel surprised that it's that sort of men running the country, no matter how incompetent they are at it. Iris also can't leave. At least she doesn't know she was shackled.
Nikki wonders if Iris thinks of anything but Josh. It's not that Nikki ever stops thinking about Bear—his name is the constant refrain of her mind, she thinks she'll remember Bear's name before she remembers to breathe her final breath—but now that she's been in this hell for a year, she can think of other things, too. She remembers a book she read in high school, how it talked about something called doublethink. Two contrasting thoughts held at once. That's been Nikki's reality for the last year.
"I love Bear Bailey more than anything in the fucking world," coexisting right alongside, "I hate this motherfucker and I hope he dies."
Over the course of a few months, after Bear meets and befriends Josh, Iris and Nikki cross paths seven times. Every time, Nikki is struck by how beautiful Iris is. She watches as she treats Josh with nothing less than absolute devotion. If she didn't already know Iris is a Companion, she would wonder if she was the result of a wish, too. This world offers many options for men desperate for a pretty woman's love, it seems. Nikki wonders if Bear sees himself in Josh. She wonders if she realizes that compared to Josh, he got ripped off; Josh got to pick the perfect girl right off the shelf, with no other attachments complicating her love for him. Iris never even tries to kill herself.
Nikki doesn't try to kill herself anymore. Not since she realized there is a way out of this for her: Bear's death.
She waits for the other her's control to slip away long enough for her to drive a knife into Bear's back, or shove him down the stairs. Maybe she's kidding herself, but the hope that eventually she'll get her chance is enough to keep her sane. Since she's not trying to break free every second, the other her doesn't seem to be as feral as she once was, at least, not all the time. Biding her time has its benefits, even if it's frustrating. They don't fight. She just does what he asks, with a smile on her face. She quits her job and doesn't write. She keeps the house clean and laughs at his jokes and returns his "I love yous". The other her dotes on him and begs him to love her as much as she loves him, while the real her simply tries to endure. He rapes her nearly every night, though she doubts he sees it that way. This nightly ordeal is one instance in which Nikki is fine letting the other her take the wheel; while the other her moans and makes him think she climaxed whether she did or not, the real Nikki imagines ways to kill him. She gets creative with it.
Bear, ironically, doesn't like the way Josh talks to Iris. "Josh is a nice guy, but…" So many buts. Bear makes sure Nikki knows he thinks Josh should be nicer to his girlfriend, but also doesn't say anything to him in Iris' defense, nor does he stop hanging out with him. That's why they're at the lakehouse the weekend Iris finds out she's a Companion, and everything goes off the rails.
Nikki told Bear once that when she has a crush, nobody knows. What she didn't tell him is sometimes "nobody" includes her.
It takes her a long time to realize that what she's feeling for Iris is more than comradarie or sympathy. There is plenty of that, of course—plenty of times she tries to catch Iris' eye, to say without saying, "Can you believe these fucking losers make us put up with them all day?". She fantasizes about what she'd say to Josh, if she were in control of what she says anymore. She catches herself thinking, I'd treat her better.
Iris is lovely and kind and generous, and Nikki is almost as angry about her imprisonment as she is about her own. She wonders if Iris would like the real her, if she ever met her.
She's somewhat surprised that it doesn't matter to her that Iris is a Companion. When they first went on the market a few years ago, Nikki had said that the concept creeped her out. But now she's walked a mile in Iris' shoes. More than a mile. And Nikki doesn't care that Iris is all programming. Iris is nice to her, really nice. She hopes Iris knows Nikki likes her.
Nikki has finally figured out that she's crushing on Iris by the time they go to the lakehouse, but she's resigned to never doing anything about it. Until she can finally kill Bear, she's stuck with him. If she even allows herself to think about kissing Iris for too long, the other her takes control and lashes out at their shared body—she once broke two of their fingers that way. Nikki can only imagine what she'd do if she actually tried to make a move. And once she does kill Bear, she'll have to go on the run. She can't drag Iris into that mess.
Instead, however, it's Iris that drags her in. Or rather, it's Josh.
When Iris walks in, covered in Sergey's blood, the other Nikki and the real Nikki are united in their shock. Other Nikki latches onto Bear's arm, as if to protect him from the Companion gone rogue. The real Nikki listens to Iris' explanation, and wishes she could scream, loud enough to be heard over Josh's command of, "Iris, go to sleep," to tell Iris, I believe you.
Iris escapes, and Nikki wants to cheer. She wants to jump up and punch the air like people do on TV, but she's shackled to her spot next to Bear.
They learn of the plot to kill Sergey, steal his money. They're promised a cut. Nikki helps Bear search the woods, splitting away from the others, because she has no choice. With every step, she prays Iris is already too far away for them to ever find her. If they find her, she'll help Bear take her down. She'll have no choice.
A memory. The last time they hung out with Josh and Iris. Nikki wonders if the plan to kill Sergey was already in motion. They were watching some movie the guys picked out—they always choose the movie—and a commercial came on for One-Wish Willows. Nikki wanted to put her fist through the flatscreen, but the thing controlling her body made her smile.
"What would you wish for?" Iris asked, and her full attention was such a rare gift, Nikki was able to enjoy it even while trapped.
"For Bear to always love me," the thing possesing her said.
Iris gave her a kind smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "You don't need a wish for that, you two are, like, the best couple I know."
Nikki's heart shattered while the imposter nodded her assent.
"What would you wish for?" she asked, and both Nikkis really were interested.
"For Josh to always be happy," Iris said, and Nikki marveled at how neither of them even hesitated before responding.
Four people, two couples, and the only one who was truly in love was a robot. It felt like a shitty joke, except Nikki didn't catch the punchline, only the setup. Maybe the punchline hadn't happened yet.
Bear falls to the ground, dead, and Nikki's mind goes quiet.
It happened so fast. They found Iris in the woods—somehow, she had the gun. Nikki has no idea how she got it away from Eli. Iris pointed the gun, crying, saying she didn't want to hurt them, but she would. The other Nikki, seeing the barrel of the gun aimed at Bear's head, went berserk, screaming and tackling Iris.
Nikki's body, filled with a strength Nikki doesn't think she possesses, pinned Iris to the ground and began to strangle her, the other her full of rage that someone would try to harm Bear, while the real her begged for this to stop.
I don't want to hurt her. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please no please no—
"DON'T HURT MY BEAR!"
Iris I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
"Nikki, stop it!" Bear's hand on her shoulder. "She can't breathe for real, we have to—"
BANG.
Iris got him in the chest. In the heart. Fitting. He dies almost immediately. The first thought Nikki has that's purely her own in over a year is that she wishes Iris had gotten him in the stomach instead. She's heard that's a horrible way to die. In the heart feels too quick.
But then, suddenly, it hits her.
He's dead.
She's free.
She rolls off of Iris immediately, panting, as the reality suddenly comes over. There is no part of her that Bear hasn't poisoned, but there is no longer any part of her that loves him. Nothing inside her mind except… herself. She'd almost forgotten what that was like.
"Oh my God…" Iris whispers, and Nikki lays on the ground, staring at the sky and breathing shallowly while Iris runs to check on Bear. "Bear? Bear?!"
"He's dead," Nikki says. Her voice is very calm.
"I—no, fuck, this wasn't—"
"I'm sorry." She really is. She doesn't blame Iris for trying to shoot her. Nikki was trying to kill her, or rather, the thing puppeting her body was trying to kill her.
Iris drops the gun and stumbles back, burying her face in her hands. Nikki sits up, brushing the dirt off her skirt and getting to her feet. They're both covered in blood, Iris especially.
Nikki takes a minute to revel in her newfound freedom. Part of her is sad she didn't get the chance to kill Bear herself, but most of her is giddy. She'd laugh and give Iris a hug if Iris didn't look so shellshocked.
The first thing she'll do once they're out of here, Nikki decides, is lighting her and Bear's house on fire. Or maybe that'll be the second thing, after a long, long shower. She'll never rid her body of the memory of him, but she can try.
But now it's her and Iris in the woods, and the corpses are piling up, and Nikki knows who'll take the blame if they get caught.
"We need to go," Nikki says. She offers her hand. "Iris?"
Iris flinches away.
Nikki suddenly realizes with a jolt that she almost, almost understands what drove Bear to do it. She wants Iris to love her, so much it makes her insides burn. She wants Iris to realize that the Nikki she's known this last year wasn't Nikki at all, and she wants Iris to realize she prefers the real thing. She wants to treat her better than Josh ever did, she wants Iris to say, "Of course, it's always been you!", she wants Iris to take her hand.
But does she want all that more than she wants Iris to be happy?
"Iris." She says the other's name again, and Iris blinks, tears streaming down her face. "We can get out of here. Together. But we have to go now. And then you can… you can go wherever you want. I won't tell. I swear."
Iris exhales—it's amazing, truly, how lifelike she seems. Nikki wonders if Josh ever appreciated the little details like that when he rested his head on Iris' chest and heard her heartbeat—and when she speaks, her voice comes out in a tremble.
"Why?"
"Because I know Sergey deserved it, and Josh is an asshole," Nikki says.
"Nikki, I—I'm sorry about Bear."
"Don't be."
That makes Iris blink, obviously taken off-guard, so much so that for a moment, her panic seems to evaporate.
"I'll explain later. If you want me to." Nikki grabs the gun off the forest floor and takes a step back, waving for Iris to follow. "Come on, we can take Bear's car. I have the keys."
Iris nods, but doesn't seem able to find words just yet, so the two women—one free, one not quite there yet—walk through the woods in silence. Nikki alternates between looking over her shoulder for the others, and looking at Iris, who is covered in blood and confused and beautiful.
Iris doesn't speak until they're in the car, Nikki starting the engine.
"Does—" She swallows a lump in her throat. "Did Bear hurt you?"
"Yes." Nikki's eyes burn, but she ignores them for now. The worst is over for her. Even jail will be preferable. But she still wants to avoid that if possible, so she starts to back out of the driveway. "Did Josh hurt you? Before today?"
"I'm… I'm not sure."
That's all they say on the subject for today. Tomorrow, Nikki will tell Iris her story, and help Iris start to piece together hers. They will get over state lines and try to figure out the best way to build a new life. They'll agree to stay together for the time being, and Nikki will decide to keep her feelings secret, at least for now. Iris doesn't need any more to think about right now, especially not with Josh still out there. Tomorrow, they'll start trying to figure out how to modify Iris' programming even further, and whether they should try and track down a couple One-Wish Willows for insurance. Nikki won't like the idea, but will concede it's a logical one.
That's tomorrow. Today, they're driving away, their lives permanently entangled, on the verge of starting fresh.