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Red was sitting in the cafeteria. The Skeld on autopilot. Everyone just roaming, hanging around.
“Oo- Captain, something must be troubling you.” Cyan hummed walking up to the crewmate. Red snapped out of their daze, “Wha— me? Being troubled? Neverrr!! I’m the captain I’m always calm, cool, and collected!” They said through an obviously forced cheery tone.
“Mmm nuh uh uh- I’m a gemologist I know when someones aura is off, and yours Red, is off the charts into negativity! So talk to me Cap.” Cyan said directly, taking a seat next to Red.
“I—..”. Red starts but just sighs. “I uhm.. might.. like someone..?” They cringed. What were they a middle schooler? Stumbling over their words over a ‘crush’? Cyan’s visor widened, “Oh? Who?”.
“Ah buh buh buh—“ Red said shaking their head, “I said might ! Even then I wouldn’t tell you..” Ref crossed their arms (??).
“Fair, the body and mind is a temple to ones secrets..” Cyan nodded, “But I must ask what about this crush troubles you?”
Red sighed, “I don’t think.. they’d like me back..” when they say think, they really mean know. “They’re a lot cooler than me- a lot.. everything more than me..”. Red looked in his lap disappointedly..
“Well— I think Black might have some advice.. They’re the coolest person that I know. I think they’re in Storage..”
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“You’re asking me how to be cool? Why?” Black asked, with their usual sassy tone.
Red’s face flushed, “I just want to know— okay..?..” God this was dumb… Black set down the crate of Ore+ they were holding. “I’m only so cool cause I’m surrounded by losers like you,” They said, hand on hip, “But I’m also a raver so I’m automatically awesome as fuck”.
The red bean groaned, “I’m not becoming a ‘raver’— Y’know what- this was dumb, just go back to work Black..” they walked away, mentally shaming themself for the foolish attempt..
Black watched the defeated captain walk away. They called out, “HEY— I MEAN…” Black hesitated, they weren’t sure where they were going with this, “BEING.. YOURSELF IS.. COOL..??..” They mentally face palmed at the shit advice.
Being yourself..??.. The most themself person here is probably Blue. Red’s face flushed at simply the thought of the insanely hot doctor. “Thanks!” Red yelled out before making their way to Medbay.
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The Skeld was quiet on this side of the ship, no one found a reason to really be over here by the reactor. As he passed by Security his heart raced, face becoming hot. The door was shut but the camera by the door flashed red. They made eye contact with the device before quickly looking away and going to Upper Engine.
*Knock-Knock*
“Heeeyy Doc!! Can I come in?” Red said through the door. The doors pushed open, Green standing there, “Hey Captain!” They said, beaming per usual. Red was a bit disappointed to be met with this visor instead of the beautiful blue one the doc had.
“Is Blue here?” Red asked, trying to look pass the former worm-farmer. Suddenly the doctors warm comforting voice filled the room, “Red? Is that you?”. Green moved to the side to let the bean enter the room. Blue was doing a checkup on White. “Ah- Doctor! Yes! It is I, your Captain… Captain Red.. Captain of the Skeld,” They said nervously, adjusting their hat and shirt.
Blue looked up from the rich-bean to the red bean, “What can I help you with?” They asked, voice velvety smooth as usual. Red twiddled with their thumbs, avoiding eye contact with anyone. “I was wondering if you could help me.. be more myself..?” They felt embarrassed asking a question like this infront of so many but they swallowed their pride.
White took a swig of their wine, god it seemed as if that glass was never ending, “Oh ho ho— easssyy!! Just do it, pay your way out of any backlash you get for being the unruly asshole you truly are!”. White was smiling as if they’d just spewed the most genius advice ever. Green grimaced, “Whitee.. remember what we talked about? We can’t all use money to get out of our problems..” the intern walked up to the rich-bean, patting their shoulder.
Red drew their attention back to the attractive doctor. “Is there a reason you want to be.. more yourself?” Red rubbed the back of their neck. “Uhm.. to be cool..”..
God this was pathetic..
“Red—! I think you’re already cool!” Green beamed, visor sparkling. “Thanks.. Green.. but I need to be cool enough for.. someone else..”. Green let out a small ‘aah’ “You’re trying to impress someome?”. Red’s face flushed, “yeah..” they mumbled.
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. I know that once I accepted the practice of medicine and dedicated my life to other crewmates safety that I was fully myself." Blue said, romantic jazz playing subtly in the back behind their words. Red was too focused swooning to actually take in any advice. “Wait wait wait wait—!!” Green said, turning to Red, “Who are you trying to impress—and why?”. The question made Red blush.
“Just… another.. crewmate…” they mumbled, “I might… like them..” theh could feel their face get hot with every word. Green let out another ‘ahh’, “relationship advice! Why didn’t you just say so? You didn’t need all that ‘cooler’ stuff! I’m pretty sure everyone here on the ship likes you Captain!” The former worm-farmer exclaimed. ‘Everyone except them…’ Red thought to themself.
Blue sighed, “I wish I could help you, but all my love is devoted to everyones safety (and Lime),”. Green nodded, “Yeah- sorry Red, I’m dealing with my own…” he glanced at White, “my own.. stuff..” they turned back to Red. The Captain nodded, ready to leave Medbay when all the sudden—
“DOC!!” Lime shouted, popping out the vent, “THOSE DAMN GREMLINS I’M SEEIN’ ‘EM AGAIN AND THEY’RE COMIN’ FOR ME!! THEY TOOK MY HOLY WATER!!”
. . .
Everyone turned their attention to the Engineer. “Oh.. you’re uh.. busy,” Lime said looking to each crewmate awkwardly. The Doctor looked from Lime to Red, “Apologies for my rudeness, but Captain if you could leave? It seems I have many patients to deal with and I can’t help you with your relationship,” Blue said in their usual oddly sensual tone. Lime pulled themself out of the vent, “Relationships?”. The unpaid-intern turned to the scruffy man, “Red has a crush and doesn’t know how to confess because Red think they’re way out of their league,”, everyone nodded at Green’s summary.
Red scoffed, “Wha- Lime you can help??” They looked around to see if anyone found it as ridiculous as they did. “Not me- too worried about these damn gremlins to get tangled up in a relationship- Why don’t you ask Yellow amd Brown? They’re married…”. Red stared for a moment, “Well I’ll be dammed, Lime just had a good idea..!”.
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The Caption went from Medbay to the Kitchen, which was easy since they were across eachother. Immediately they were hit with the delicious scent of pizza. “Ain’t you ever been told to knock?” Yellow hissed as they set the pizza down.
“Many times yes, but I am the captain soooo..” they shrugged, “Anyway- I need your help!” Red said confidently, knowing that they’d finally get the advice he’d been looking for. The yellow bean scoffed, “First you come in unannounced, actin’ like you own the kitchen just cause you know how to press a few buttons and pull off a fancy little hat. NOW you wanna ask for our help? Union does not approve this disrespect.” Yellow hissed, hands on their hip.
Brown shook their head, “Not union approved,” they agreed, as they usually did with their partner. Red sighed, mumbling something along the lines of ‘stupid union’. “Look— I’m sorry, but please help me,” Red said with a genuine tone. Yelloe glanced at Brown before facing the Captain again, “Whatchu need help with?”. Red’s face flushed, “Relationship.. advice..”.
Yellow nodded, “Oh- with Purple?”. Red’s visor widened, “Wha-Wha—What?! How-! No-!! P-Purple?!- No- Never!” They sputtered at the sudden accusation. Yellow raised an eyebrow (?), “yeah okay, whatever helps you sleep at night,” they turned back to the pizza. “Wait- I-I still need your help—!!” Red said their face feeling as hot as the wood fired oven in the room. “With who?” Yellow said, back still facing the Captain.
God they had to say it, didn’t they….
Red swallowed the lump in their throat.. “Purple..” they mumbled as their shuffled their feet. Yellow turned back around, smug grin on their face, “Why don’t you just ask ‘em out?”. The red bean felt their whole body getting hotter, either from the embarrassment or the oven, “Me..ask.. Purple out..? They’d never say yes to just me- I’m not nearly as good as they deserves! I need to find some way to.. be enough..” Red rambled on about how they were out of Purple’s league before stopping once they’d realized how long they’d been talking.
Yellow’s grin turned into a genuine smile, “Captain, I think you’re plenty in their league to ask ‘em out. You’re leading the space craft we’re on, I think you can handle askin’ a crew out. Which leading this ship can’t be easy, I guess it’s probably a lot more than pressing buttons and wearing a fancy hat..” Yellow’s words earned a nodded of agreement from the other chef who was current adding toppings to the pizza. Red gets a tad flustered at the ego boost, “Really? I mean of course I know I’m a great captain!— but.. you uh.. really think I’m great enough for them..?” Red felt weird being all vulnerable out loud, not putting on their super cocky facade. Yellow nodded, “I do,”. Red smiled, now more confident, and went to leave the cafeteria. “Now go ask ‘em out, I’ve been watching you two be awkward for too long,” they complained before smiling again, “and if it helps,” Red turned back around, “I think theymight like you too,”.
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Like them too? Gah, Red could only hope that Yellow was right about this. That everyone they’d asked advice for would be worth it. The Captain walked past the Upper Engine and into the hallway, which had the Reactor to their right, Security to their left.
C’mon Red, you can do this. You’re a cool, awesome Captain- you can ask the coolest, smartest, funniest, prettiest person you know out!!… No biggie…
God if only their handbook had something on crushes (he’s checked, there isn’t).
Red walked up to the door, about to barge in like usual but they’d decided to knock after Yellow yelled at them. “Purps?” They called out to the door. They could hear the sounds of a chair, small thud followed by footsteps, a few clicks and then the doors opened, revealing Purple. “Red? Did you need something?” They asked, voice holding a usual hint of tiredness. Red felt themself freeze up at actually being face to face with Purple. They looked to their right, seeing Cyan and Black peering over the corner to watch. They than looked to their left, seeing Green, White, Blue, Yellow, and Brown. They than heared the small creaking of the vents that showed off Lime’s presence.
Well gee, that surely didn’t put pressure on Red. They turned theur attention to Purple. “I uhm..” they started second guessing themself, maybe they weren’t good enough for this, in reality they was barely a good captain, so maybe Yellow’s words meant nothing after all!!— “Red? Are you like- okay, buddy? You look—“
“I-I REALLY LIKE YOU—!!” They blurted out, “I get if you don’t like me back- you’re so out of my league, I’m a company boot licker- and a bad captain- you deserve someone way cooler than me—“
The red bean stopped rambling when they noticed Purple giggling to themselves, “Ugh- I knew you’d find me an idiot, I should just go back to Navagation and stay in there forever—“, Purple grabbed Red’s hand, “No- don’t go..! It’s not you— It’s just..” they smiled, “Nice hearing you admit to the bootlicker stuff,”. Red was a bit confused, was that all Purple heard from their ramble? Purple took a breath, “I’m also happy you told me how you feel..” They let go of Red’s hand, adverting theur gaze.
Red tried to study their reaction, gauge any emotion, “Do you..” they started, a bit unsure where they was going with it. Luckily Purple finished Red’s thought for them, “Be a cute couple like in those cheesy rom-coms you’d force me to watch?”. Red smiled, “Yeah, that..”.
The security guard smiled back, “I’d love to, Captain,”.