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“Remind me why we’re listening to Olivia Rodrigo right now when we’re about to see her live?” Jason asks as he grips the steering wheel with his left hand. “All-american bitch” blasts through the speakers of Jason’s beat-up Honda as he drives Steph and Tim to the concert venue.
“Because,” Steph says with her eyes glued to her phone, “the vibes, Jason. We do it for the vibes.” In her peripheral vision, she sees Tim give a slight nod in agreement. He lets out a small sigh before turning his head to face the window from his place in the backseat of the car. The windows are rolled down in an attempt to air out the lingering scent of cigarette smoke that clings to the cloth seats.
“She sounds different live,” Tim adds, “and I want to hear the recorded tracks before her live rendition.”
“Right…” Jason sighs. Steph catches him rolling his eyes in the reflection of the rearview mirror. She isn’t one to tolerate assholes, so she gives a kick to Jason’s seat from her place behind him. “What the fuck?”
“Don’t be rude, Jason,” Steph admonishes. The last thing Tim needs right now is for Jason to make him feel bad about his favorite artist. This is her chance to get them to stop dancing around each other, and she’s not about to watch it go down the drain.
“Oi! I’m the one acting as your fucking chauffer, here. I'll be as rude as I want.”
“And we thank you for that, Jason,” Tim says with a smile. Steph fights the urge to roll her eyes–she isn’t about to give Jason a reason to get on her ass about attitude after chastising him. God, his crush is so, so painfully obvious. Jason, unfortunately, is a brick wall when it comes to romance.
“‘S not really a problem. I just don’t get why you asshats can’t drive yourselves.”
Wow. Well look who switched up real fast, Steph giggles to herself. Tim, unfortunately, is even worse than Jason when it comes to romance. He wouldn’t know it even if it hit him with a brick. Watching these two dance around each other is like putting two bulls in a china shop. And Steph is the china.
“Remember that you’re getting a free concert out of this, Jason,” Steph reminds him. “Jesus, this is your first concert, isn’t it?”
“Does it really count as my first concert if I’m being taken against my will?”
“Yes. Yes, it does,” Steph says. “It’s not against your will, either. You could’ve said no.”
“Yeah, but you told me Timmy here would’ve crashed the car if he drove, and yours is in the shop.”
“I would not have!” Tim squawks. “I am a very responsible driver!”
“I don’t trust your driving skills when you’re listening to Olivia Rodrigo,” Steph teases.
“Steph-”
“Look, I’m not the one who faceplanted when-”
“Steph,” Tim growls. He does a very aggressive “cut it out” motion with his hand, to which Jason raises an eyebrow at, from what Steph can see of his reflection in the rearview mirror. “Not here.”
“Well, now I’m curious,” Jason says.
“No,” Tim replies. “And Steph? Fuck you.”
“Aw, c’mon, Tim,” Steph whines. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Yes, it is. And if you don’t shut up, I’m not gonna give you your backstage pass.”
Holy shit, he’s serious.
“Okay, okay, fine,” Steph sighs. Teasing Tim isn’t worth it if the consequence is not getting to meet Olivia Rodrigo in person. And maybe she took it just a little too far. But it’s not her fault! Tim is so easy to fluster! Especially in front of Jason! Anything will set him off. Sure, it didn’t help that Steph teased Tim about one of his most embarrassing moments, but still! She just can’t resist the way the tips of Tim’s ears get all red. They may not be dating anymore, but Steph still finds thoseparts of Tim adorable. It’s just in an older-sister way instead of an older-girlfriend way now.
“Thank you, Steph,” Tim says, but Steph can tell he’s grinding his teeth.
When “lacy” comes on through the car’s speakers, Tim flushes an even brighter red. Steph sends a knowing smile at her best friend. She was there when it happened after all.
It being when Tim was riding on his skateboard, while Steph watched him at the skatepark. It’s a little thing they started when they dated, but they’ve kept their little skatepark hangouts even after the breakup. Tim tries new tricks and takes out his frustrations with life on the skateboard, and Steph watches. Most times, it’s just relaxing, and Steph is able to turn the hyperactive part of her brain off in favor of watching Tim glide across the ramps. It’s like some weird form of hypnosis.
It’s also great blackmail material when Tim wipes out. Steph sometimes takes videos of Tim for his civilian TikTok account, and sometimes she catches his epic fails on camera.
But none of them compare to the time she and Tim were listening to the new Olivia Rodrigo album as they hung out at the skatepark. It was just after Tim confessed his crush on Jason to Stephanie (for some reason, he thought she would be upset, like, what? Even Steph can see the hunk of meat that is Jason Todd for who he is: A hot hunk of meat), and they were blasting the music on a portable speaker.
And then “lacy” came on.
Steph saw the exact moment Tim started thinking about Jason. She noticed the way his eyes got a little glossy. She’ll swear until the way she dies that a single tear slid down Tim’s cheek.
Perhaps it wasn’t the best song to skateboard to, but in Steph’s defense, it was both her and Tim’s first time listening to the album.
Towards the end of the song, as soon as Olivia Rodrigo sang, “people are people, but it’s like you’re made of angel dust,” Tim plummeted. He took a nosedive into the hard concrete, his skateboard skidding out from underneath his feet.
Almost everyone in the near vicinity heard the awful crack of Tim’s nose.
After a short trip to the hospital and an X-ray of Tim’s nose (incredibly broken), Tim swore Steph to silence. She’s kept her promise so far, but Steph isn’t unaware of her tendency to break her word. It’s always justified in Steph’s opinion, but she knows others don’t see it that way–Tim included.
It was incredibly funny watching Tim lie in a way he’d never had to before–telling Batman he’d broken his nose on patrol because the truth of the skateboarding incident was too mortifying.
“-just don’t get why anyone likes her so much. Like her music is catchy ‘n shit, but she’s no Queens of the Stone Age, y’know?”
Jason’s comment snaps Steph back to the present moment.
“Huh?”
“Queens of the Stone Age and Olivia Rodrigo make completely different kinds of music!” Tim protests. “She’s not emo-goth rock, or whatever, so of course she isn’t making emo-goth rock music!”
“Oi!” Jason hollers, glaring at Tim from the rearview mirror, “Queens of the Stone Age are not a ‘goth-punk’ band, or whatever the fuck you called it.”
“Emo-goth.”
“Emo-goth. Whatever. They’re the fucking pioneers of Desert Rock, dipshit. Like, the pride of Palm Desert.”
Steph does not like the direction of this conversation–mostly because she doesn’t understand a single word of it. She doesn’t do genres. Steph does music she likes and music she dislikes. Anything else just gives her a headache.
“...Desert Rock?” Tim says incredulously.
“Yeah. Like the music you make, or listen to, or sing to, or whatever in the middle of the desert, crackin’ open a beer, and high as balls.”
Tim furrows his eyebrows. “So psychedelic rock?”
“No! Desert rock! Stoner shit!”
“Uhm,” Steph interjects and steadies herself with a deep breath. This conversation is going nowhere, and while she may cross Tim’s boundaries one too many times, Steph still considers herself to be a good friend and even better wing-woman. It’s her job to keep Tim from putting his foot in his mouth. The only problem is that the solution to this problem is putting her own foot in her mouth instead. Whatever. Tim will owe her later. “What is a ‘queen of the stone age?’”
Jason almost crashes the car.
…
Steph turns to Tim as soon as Jason parks the car. “Friendship bracelets?”
“Check.” Tim grabs a small plastic bag that holds the bracelets he and Steph made for the concert.
“Glasses?”
“Yup,” Tim nods, and grabs three pairs of purple heart-shaped glasses that he and Steph bedazzled the night before. They’d glue-gunned beads spelling “Olivia Rodrigo” and various rhinestones onto the edges of each pair.
“What’s this?” Jason asks as Tim hands him a couple of bracelets and a pair of glasses.
“Friendship bracelets!” Steph chirps. “We make them and trade at every concert. It’s a fun little thing us Livvies like to do to bond and make memories at concerts and stuff.” Jason simply grunts in reply. Thankfully, he puts on the glasses and bracelets with no fuss, and Steph has to keep herself from laughing. It’s not as funny as she’s making it out to be, but there’s something about built, beefy Jason, in his leather jacket and ripped jeans, wearing bedazzled glasses and friendship bracelets that makes Steph need to suppress a giggle.
Steph turns to look at Tim, whose face has gone a deep shade of crimson. Steph knows for a fact that the bracelets Tim gave him are ones he made himself.
Ah, young love.
“Okay. You have the tickets, right?” Tim nods.
“Great! Hopefully the merch line isn’t too long.”
…
The walk to the venue is surprisingly brisk. Jason got to park pretty close to the entrance thanks to Tim’s VIP pass, meaning that Steph doesn’t have to worry about her feet aching until she’s been standing and dancing for hours.
“Were heels really the best idea?” Jason asks.
“They go with my outfit!” Steph whines. “I look cute. Tim!” She turns to Tim, who has been making very intense eye-contact with the sidewalk. “Tim! I look cute, right? Look at these heels!”
“Yes, Steph, you look great,” Tim deadpans. “I’m sure Olivia Rodrigo will see you in the crowd, notice your beautiful heels, and suddenly turn gay and propose to you right on the spot.”
“Tim!” Steph shoves him a little. “Don’t be mean!”
“You look fine, Steph,” Tim sighs. “Don’t listen to Jason. But also, you’re not allowed to complain about your feet hurting when the concert is over.”
Steph pouts but concedes. She spends the rest of the walk watching Jason and Tim steal glances at one another.
They’re not even at the entrance yet, it’s two hours before the concert, and there are still so many people crowding the area. It’s not just Steph and Tim who are dressed up–over half of the attendees are in some of the cutest outfits Steph has seen. Girls in mini skirts and platform boots, crop tops, and pretty faces everywhere. Steph can’t help but let her eyes catalogue every pretty girl and boy she sees.
When she looks back over to Jason and Tim, however, their eyes haven’t left each other. They’re walking close enough together for their pinkies to brush, and Tim’s face is still flushed from earlier. Tim is speaking animatedly, ranking his favorite Olivia Rodrigo songs, and Jason is looking at him like he holds the world in his hands.
She’s never seen Tim happier than when he’s with Jason.
She’d expected it to hurt at first, when Tim confessed his crush on Jason, but she’s simply thrilled that Tim has found his person. The only jealousy she really feels is not having someone who loves her just as much as Jason loves Tim.
…
The merch line is concerningly long, but that doesn’t stop them from joining it.
“Oh my god,” someone gasps. Steph, Tim, and Jason all turn around to find a girl with auburn hair and freckles standing in front of them in line. She’s the same height as Steph–and quite beautiful if Stephanie is being honest with herself. “I love your friendship bracelets!”
Steph immediately finds herself beaming. “Thank you so much! Tim and I made them. Do you wanna trade?”
“Of course!” The girl smiles. She holds out her wrist to show off the bracelets lining her wrist. Steph has to stop herself from running her fingers over the beads. There are a plethora of bracelets to choose from. Before Steph can even begin to find one that catches her eye, Jason is grabbing the girl’s wrist and pointing at one of the bracelets.
It’s a purple bracelet with beads in the shapes of stars and hearts. The song title “drop dead” is spelled out in the middle. “Trading this one?” Jason asks.
“Jason!” Steph scolds. “You can’t just grab someone like that!”
“It’s okay,” the girl giggles. “I’m Rachel, by the way. And yeah, feel free to take it!”
“Jason,” Jason murmurs, his eyes trailing Rachel’s hands as she undoes her bracelet and hands it to Jason.
“I’m Steph,” Steph pipes in before pointing to the third member of their group. “And this is Tim.” Tim gives Rachel a shy wave and smiles.
“It’s nice to meet y’all,” Rachel says as Jason takes the bracelet and hands it to Tim. Her voice has a slight southern drawl to it.
“Jason?”
“For you. You like that song, right?”
Tim flushes. “I–I mean, I do, but-”
“Cool,” Jason nods, and turns back to Rachel. He holds his arm out for her, which Steph can’t help but think looks a little silly. It’s hairy and muscular and covered in all of the colorful bracelets Tim and Steph shoved in his hands.
“You and your boyfriend are so cute together,” Rachel says with a grin, eyeing the bracelets covering Jason’s wrists and turning to glance at Tim’s crimson cheeks.
Oh my god, Steph realizes. She thinks they’re dating.
Simply lovely.
Tim’s face gets even redder as he looks between Steph and Rachel.
“Save me, please,” he mouths.
Steph smirks. “No.”
Jason, completely unaware of the silent conversation happening right next to him, just shrugs. “Nah, Tim’s the pretty one.” He does nothing to deny being Tim’s boyfriend. Plus! Steph’s grin keeps growing. He called Tim pretty.
She turns over to Tim, who looks just about ready to combust.
“Whatever you say,” Rachel chuckles. Then, “I like this one.” She points at a bracelet Steph made just the other night.
It’s the bracelet Steph made for “the cure.” It’s also the one Steph put most of her effort into.
“You like “the cure”?” Steph asks.
“That’s, like, my favorite song on the album!” Rachel replies. Steph loses herself in conversation with Rachel as the line moves along inch by inch. She turns over to Jason and Tim every so often, who are staring at each other like they’re the only people in the world right now. By the time they’re finally out of the line, Steph and Tim have an embarrassing amount of posters and shirts (and Steph gets Rachel’s number, too).
…
Jason and Tim are speaking in low voices as they make their way to the front row. Steph trails behind them but stays silent, not wanting to interrupt their moment.
“So,” Jason says, “what’s your favorite song on the album?”
Tim quirks an eyebrow. “The new one?”
“Yeah.”
“Uhm,” Tim huffs. “That’s hard. If I had to choose, it would probably be “cigarette smoke”. I really hope she plays it tonight.”
“What’s that song about?”
“I… I don’t like to say what a song is about, because I don’t really know. I’m not Olivia Rodrigo. But, for what it means to me… I guess I think about it as accepting loss, and realizing you’re better off from it.”
“That’s…” Jason pauses. “That’s deep.”
Steph has heard Tim speak about this song before. As soon as the album dropped, Tim called her sobbing and reminiscing about his days as Robin.
“Not really,” Tim shrugs. “I mean, maybe. I dunno.”
“Why do you like it?”
“It reminds me of my last day as Robin,” Tim confesses. “It’s just so beautiful. It captures a hollowness in my chest that no camera ever could. The frustration. The anger. The resentment. The regret. For Olivia, it’s about a breakup, but for me, it’s losing the thing I thought I wanted the most. The thing I thought I needed until it was taken from me and I realized I didn’t anymore.”
They’re walking closer now, Jason snaking an arm around Tim’s shoulder. “Robin?”
“Yeah,” Tim sighs. Steph smiles when Tim doesn’t move Jason’s hand away, simply letting it rest on his shoulder. “It takes me back to when I thought I didn’t have a place in the family. When he chose Damian over me. All I wanted then–that day–was for my big brother to tell me everything was going to be okay.”
“You don’t have to-” Jason starts, but Tim reaches up and places a finger on his lips.
“It’s okay,” he croaks. “I want to tell you. That is, if you want to listen.”
“‘Course, Birdy.”
Birdy.
Tim never called Steph anything like that. She tries not to feel bitter. It’s not really working.
“Bruce had died,” Tim continues, “and I was hurting, and Dick chose him, and Damian called me sensitive and…” A pause. Silence. “I went to the Nest, after. Couldn’t even make it to my bed. Just sat on the bathroom floor. I sat on the cold tile and stared at the wall, wondering what I did wrong.”
“Nothing,” Jason reassures him. “You did nothing wrong.”
“I know,” Tim says, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I know. But, at that moment, all I could think about was how much I regretted my life. My choices. For taking the risk of becoming Robin, and for thinking I’d be the Robin who stayed. I think that deep down, I knew I’d be replaced one day. Just like you were. Just like Dick was. I resented myself for not being brave enough to stay and call Dick out on his bullshit. For letting my emotions get the best of me.”
“That’s…”
Tim sighs. “Yeah. But then, I realized that a title shouldn’t make me so upset. That I was basing all of my worth around a vigilante identity that wasn’t mine to begin with. So I sat there and cried and thought over my life. And then I changed. And this song, I guess, puts me back in that moment. Of feeling unloved and realizing my own worth at the same time. That if it’s between my happiness and Robin, I should choose happiness every single fucking time.”
Steph watches Jason’s Adam's apple bob as he swallows. “That’s a lot, Tim. I hope she plays it, too.”
…
She doesn’t pay much attention to Jason or Tim once the concert begins, fully focused on the beautiful and amazing person on stage, that is Olivia Rodrigo. The crowd goes wild as soon as Olivia steps on stage. The lighting is a lot brighter and more colorful compared to her other concerts. Steph and Tim are screaming their heads off while Jason looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Even in such a large venue, Steph is sweating from the heat of so many bodies pressed up against one another. And just as she doesn’t think this concert can get any better, the intro to “drop dead” begins to play.
I know that the bar closes at eleven.
Steph turns to Tim, whose eyes are widening as he recognizes the lyrics. This is the song Tim listens to 24/7. The one Steph knows makes him think about Jason.
But I hope you never finish that beer.
Tim and Steph begin singing along, but it’s hard for Steph to pay attention to the stage when Tim is staring at Jason like he’s the only light in a room shrouded in darkness.
You know all the words to “Just Like Heaven.”
Steph doesn’t understand how Olivia always manages to sound even better in person, but she decides not to question it. Tim is still singing along, but his attention is fully fixated on Jason, who is staring at the stage in awe.
And I know why he wrote them now that you’re standing right here.
Jason turns to Steph, completely unaware of the way Tim is looking at him. “Did she just reference The Cure?”
One night, I was bored in bed and stalked you on the internet.
“Yes!” she hisses. “Now shut up and enjoy.” Steph turns and looks at Tim once more, whose blush is starkly clear from the stage lights that reflect on his face. Steph thinks that Tim has probably done a lot more than stalking when it comes to Jason.
It’s feminine intuition ‘cause I always had a vision of us standing like this.
Steph begins dancing again, swaying her hips and throwing her hands up into the air. Tim follows her movement, singing at the top of his lungs while Jason nods along to the music.
All pressed up in the bathroom line, you’re looking like an angel on the walls of Versailles.
Steph can see it before it happens. Tim’s feet are already moving around quite precariously on the floor, and all it takes is someone bumping into him from behind for him to lose his balance.
The most alive I’ve ever been.
Jason catches Tim before he can fall. Steph stops dancing and stares. She watches Tim’s chest rise and fall with his labored breathing. The way Jason holds Tim in his arms–like he’s something delicate. Like he’s precious.
Time seems to slow around them. They pause as if studying each other’s faces. Jason is looking at Tim’s mouth like he’s making a life-or-death decision. They move closer together until their foreheads are brushing.
Tim closes his eyes.
Jason leans in.
But kiss me and I might drop dead.