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English
Series:
Part 1 of One Fish for Three
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Published:
2026-06-22
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912
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1/1
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One Fish for Three - Episode 1

Summary:

Hey guys, this is a sort of writing project I'm starting for fun. The episodes may be quite short so I'll be posting twice a week or so.
If you know anything extra about seals or fish that I got wrong, please feel free to tell me.
I hope you enjoy.
(Warning: Use of profane language.)

Work Text:

Brought to you by wherermyglasses:
ONE FISH FOR THREE
Episode 1: A Difficult Decision
MR. SIGURDSSON: Sir, our spending on food for the pinnipeds has risen by 87% since last year. Aside from that, visitor attendance has decreased by 35%. We are hemorrhaging money. This is a private institution, therefore we are unable to rely on government assistance to keep our doors open. One way or another, we must cut costs. For the time being, I highly suggest sourcing only local fish and crustaceans, then distribute them in controlled rations.
THE PROFESSOR: I know, sir. However, the seals require adequate nutrition. Native species do not provide that. If we feed them exclusively local seafood, they will likely end up developing long-term health complications, lose unhealthy amounts of weight and therefore, many will end up malnourished. Forgive me for asking, but have the financial reports been reviewed properly? Is there any other area where we can reduce spending? Surely there must be, Mr. Sigurdsson.
MR. SIGURDSSON: Unfortunately not. The financial reports have been under very close scrutiny and statistical analyses have shown the exact figures I have presented here, in this office. If you wish this conservation site remain open to members of the public, we must reduce expenditures. Our current trajectory is unsustainable. It is best we make a decision now than on the verge of closure.
THE PROFESSOR: I suppose we have few alternatives. However, we should feed the seals with large quantities of seafood to ensure proper satiation and nutrition. Otherwise, they might start facing serious risks to their wellbeing. I suggest sourcing haddock and sardines. Haddock contains high protein content, but not much fat, and sardines are rich in omega-3 fatty acids. The simultaneous presence of both species would balance the nutritional profile more effectively than only relying on one of them.
MR. SIGURDSSON: Understood, Professor. My team and I will conduct a financial assessment comparing native species in terms of stability, cost efficiency and sustainability. Upon completion, I will present the findings and moving forward, we will determine the best options moving forward.
THE PROFESSOR: Alright then. We will need the report by Friday next week. Good day, sir.
MR. SIGURDSSON: Good day, Professor.
As Mr. Sigurdsson leaves the office, the Professor is left with his stomach lodged in his throat. The seals, the pinnipeds were his life. It broke something in him. Not feeding them properly felt as if he was deliberately hurting them, despite knowing he was left with no other choice. He had spent years caring for them, studying them. Those seals were the only ones there for him. But there were no second options. The conservation site has to cut back on spending if it still wants to operate. The news spread like wildfire, and they were not taken very kindly by the seals.

SIGGI: Whaddya mean by “only local seafood”? So, we only be eatin’ now that disgustin’ ass shit that the humans call “crabs”? That stuff’s tiny as hell and tastes like a goddamn whale corpse! Gimme my fucking tuna back! Not those miniscule lookin’ ass smelts n’ shit.
BJORN: Calm the hell down, Siggi. They ain’t confirmed anythin’ yet. And besides, Prof said he wanted to give us haddock and sardines. It ain’t gon’ be that bad, man.
SIGGI: The fuck you mean “it ain’t gon’ be that bad, man”?! My sister’s got deficiencies and if she ain’t eatin’ good, she gon’ get worse!
BJORN: Ain’t they gon’ feed Nora somethin’ else since she got, like, different needs?
SIGGI: Nah, man. I don’t think so. Sigurdsson is a fuckin’ cheapskate. Remember when he was like “let’s stop givin’ ’em octopus ‘cause they be harder to catch”, n’ like, they had to pay ‘em more for that stuff? Yeah, thank fuck that Prof told his cheap ass no.
BJORN: They said, like, they gotta give us cheap stuff ‘cause they spent a lotta cash, when less people came. Apparently, if they kept givin’ us the good stuff they bring with planes n’shit, this place would close and we’d have to go back into the wild.
SIGGI: Sigurdsson, you connivin’ bitch! That asswipe be doin’ shit to try n’ kill us. What’s gon’ happen to Nora? What’s gon’ happen to Else? What’s gon’ happen to Matthias? They all be havin’ health stuff and they gon’ fuckin’ starve! That fucker better stop doin’ this shit or someone might end up doin’ shit to him he be knowin’ he’ll regret.
Nora senses something is up. She hears her brother as he angrily laments and approaches him and Bjorn.

NORA: What’s wrong, Siggi? Why are you mad?
SIGGI: You ain’t heard ‘bout it? They gon’ feed us only local stuff.
BJORN: Yeah, but they haven’t made it, like, official. They haven’t said anythin’ ‘bout what stuff we’ll be eatin’.
SIGGI: Is there anythin’ we can do now? Like, when are we rebellin’ against this shit?
NORA: Don’t tell me they gon’ give us them gross smelts! I hate ‘em!
BJORN: Nora, chill. Smelts ain’t native.
NORA: Whaddya mean by “ain’t native”? Like, they bring ‘em here by boat or somethin’?
BJORN: Yeah. They’re imported. That’s what they call ‘em.
The deadline for the new financial report conducted by Mr. Sigurdsson and his team is 9 days from now. Within this 9-day period, he must find a viable solution for both the seals’ and the reserve’s livelihood. This is a balance that has already begun to slip.

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