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Arnold still fiddles with his sleeves when he’s nervous.
She notices, even from her spot in the middle of the audience at the ceremony. It was a habit he’d developed in middle school, after the fifth time he and Helga had broken up for a grand total of two hours. It was subtle, but a habit she’d noticed right away, a quick tug of his cufflinks with nothing but the index and thumb like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Standing at the altar, he otherwise looks perfectly composed as he steps in front of the officiant. Gerald comes next, hand in hand with Phoebe, as the best man and maid of honor, then Arnold’s grandparents, then his parents. It was a beautiful ceremony so far, with nothing but sunny skies outside and cornflowers everywhere.
She hasn’t seen him in so long, but it’s not like Arnold Shortman to change, stubborn as he is. He’s taller, and gravity finally won the fight against his hair, making it droop down the back of his head in a way that made him look like he was finally a functioning adult. His eyes are staring straight at the door, his body practically vibrating, not with anxiety, but with anticipation.
And to think, there was once a time when she had him wrapped around her little finger.
There had been a time where she thought she’d liked him, but it hadn’t taken long for her to realize that she didn’t like-like him. But she did like how him liking her made her feel. Arnold’s methods of liking someone were very simple, little favors done without expectation of reciprocation, no macho posturing, no performing, just him showing his kindness. Being noticed by him felt warm, and even if she didn’t reciprocate his affections, she craved that warmth. People naturally assumed that Lila was naturally sweet and kind and perfect, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was simply…easier to pretend to be flawless. No one saw the carefully shoplifted clothes from the thrift store, nor the lipstick and ribbons carefully lifted from drugstore clearance bins. Not even Arnold, for all of his abilities of observation, ever noticed.
But he noticed when she didn’t eat, simply sitting there smiling as everyone else gorged themselves on awful pizza and boxed mashed potatoes. A cheap public school lunch it may be, but a lunch is a lunch. He would often arrive at her table with an extra tray of food and a smile, usually packaged with some excuse about his grandpa giving him too much lunch money. A sweet, gentle lie. She hated his charity…but she always accepted it, and she would be a liar if she said she didn’t milk it a little. Letting him take her out, treating her to the cheese festival, letting him give her prizes and toys she still cherished to this day. Even after she gave him the same talk as always, that she didn’t like-like him, he didn’t seem to take the hint, for a while, anyway. She hadn’t wanted to be too firm, half out of a desire to not wound him too deeply, and half because, well, if someone cared for you like that, even if you didn’t return it, wouldn’t you want to keep it? A selfish thought, maybe, but it’s not like it lasted, so maybe it was okay to be so selfish. It took a few tries, but he got the hint, and they drifted apart pretty quickly. Lila knew that Arnold didn’t truly like-like her. Heck, when all this started out, she had been the one who pursued him. It was all too messy and inorganic, but he’d kept it up because she was exactly the kind of girl Arnold always pursued. Someone he could project something onto. What was that something? A future of domestic bliss, maybe, Lila didn’t know for sure. What she knew was that Arnold tended to see the best in everything. His optimism was always a boon when it was needed, but it tended to cloud his judgment. Lila knew exactly what he saw in her, the idea of a perfect life, or as close to it as it could get, one without problems or complications or…abandonment. She’d taken advantage of it while she could, but it was never anything more than puppy love. She knew far before he did, and still she took the little gifts, the little pushes for him to want something more from her than she ever wanted to give. But every time he did, it only cemented the thought in her head that Arnold wasn’t even interested in her enough to even try to get to know the real her beneath the facade of perfection, and a part of her began to resent him for it.
The auburn-haired young woman was brought out of her reverie by the sudden change in music, and Arnold’s back straightening. His eyes are focused on the double doors at the end of the aisle, in a way that Lila can see he never did with her. The doors open and there she is. Helga G. Pataki. Well, soon to be Mrs. Helga Shortman. She’s wearing a beautiful dress in perfect white, her long golden hair pinned into a beautiful elaborate bun, the veil over her face only barely obscuring the makeup job done by Rhonda, kept in place by her signature pink ribbon, and a simple cornflower is tied around her wrist. There’s a stiffness to her steps as she walks arm in arm with her father, and Lila can see it. Helga always detested being emotional, being vulnerable, and here she was sharing her greatest vulnerability with nearly a hundred people, but one look at her soon-to-be husband and a smile blooms on her face and her steps relax into a natural stride. Bob is openly weeping, but neither Helga nor Lila’s paying him any mind, because…god. Beautiful is too small a word to describe Helga. She’d always thought so. Ever since the day Lila first walked into Mr. Simmons’ class, her eyes had been drawn to Helga. The growls, the shoving of kids into lockers or trash cans, the dozens of spitballs aimed at one football head in particular. Sure, Helga (and the other girls) had bullied her due to their own insecurities, but it’d lasted all of a day, and Lila had accepted their apologies. For a while, their relationship was…cordial, if not friendly. Until Arnold got involved. The second he started pursuing Lila, Helga had gone cold towards her once more, never as bad as that first day at school, but glares shot from across the cafeteria, her always popping up wherever Arnold wanted to take her somewhere, the muffled diabolical laughter whenever something went wrong. It was a marvel that no one ever seemed to catch on.
Especially Arnold. It’s not like Helga was ever subtle, pulling out her locket when only her back was turned, or the dramatic monologues in only barely-private places, the pining was almost painful to watch. The jealousy, the possessiveness, the pencils constantly snapping in Helga’s hands in barely restrained fury whenever Arnold paid for her food or offered her a flower, and scheme after scheme after scheme to get his attention dishonestly. It was almost painfully obvious, even as children, and her suspicions were confirmed when the school play had brought her directly into Helga’s crosshairs. Lila had to hand it to her, Helga was a master manipulator, even willing to abuse her own best friend’s idiosyncrasies to get closer to what she wanted. So when she arrived at Lila’s doorstep, asking to talk about the play, Lila knew what she really wanted.
“It’s such a violent play, Lila, all those sword fights,” Helga had expounded, marching around her room while Lila sat primly on a chair in the center, looking as relaxed as ever. “Doesn’t it disgust you?”
“Not at all,” Lila replied calmly, “the violence only serves to underscore the real meaning of the play, which is that love conquers all!” She couldn’t help but see the parallels between the play and Helga’s love literally conquering.
Helga looked at her for a second before regaining her momentum. “W-well, what about all those lines? I mean, what if you blow it onstage?”
Ah, a wonderful tactic for the anxious Phoebe, but for her… “Oh no, I never get stage fright. I just feel oh-so comfortable in front of an audience.”
“And what about that horrible dress you’ll have to wear?” She could hear the desperation in Helga’s voice, and she couldn’t help but find it sincerely, ever so adorable.
“I’ve seen the work that Sheena’s done on the dress, and I think it’s…just delightful.” A lie of course, the dress WAS ugly as sin, but Lila knew that Helga herself had done that to get rid of Rhonda.
Helga turned to her, practically vibrating in frustration. “Look, Lila…” She began. “I have to play Juliet.”
Her desperation really was just cute as all hell. “Why, Helga?”
“BECAUSE I JUST DO, OKAY?!” Helga snapped, throwing her arms forward in a pleading gesture.
“Well, if you don’t have a reason…” Lila looked down, trying to hide her smile.
“I DO have a reason! I just…can’t tell you what it is!” Helga replied, refusing to look at her as she paced once more.
She carefully hid the quirk of her lips. “...This isn’t by any chance because you like Arnold, is it?” Helga’s shoulders went slack, staring off into the distance for a moment. Lila could see the dilemma grinding the gears of her mind to a halt.
The blonde whirled around, scowl firmly in place. “Are you crazy?”
“Oh! Because if that WAS the reason you wanted to play Juliet, that you liked Arnold, and you wanted to kiss him or something, well, I sure could understand that. I guess I’d think it was ever-so sweet, and I wouldn’t mind giving up the part so you could do it.” She explained.
Helga swallowed down the lump in her throat, looking at her like she was a grenade in the middle of the room. “Y-You mean, if…I said I liked Arnold, you’d let me play Juliet?”
“Well, sure, Helga. But you don’t, so–”
“W-Wait a minute!”
Lila clasped her hands in front of her chin, giving the blonde a look that screamed ‘I knew it.’ “Yes Helga?”
Helga avoided her eyes, tapping her fingers against each other. “Strictly hypothetically, IF I said I liked Arnold, hehe, talk about a…crazy idea. Would you SWEAR to never tell a soul about it?”
Lila couldn’t help but chuckle. “I suppose so, if it was supposed to be a secret or something.” How was it supposed to be a secret when she was so damn OBVIOUS?
“And would you also understand that, and this is still hypothetical,” Helga began to ramble, and Lila was slowly becoming entranced with how the blonde had such a way with words, but used them almost entirely to protect herself like this. “If I told you I liked Arnold, and you spilled the beans to ANYBODY, that I would STRANGLE you with my bare hands?” She turned, wringing her hands together as she glared daggers at her, and Lila could tell she meant it, if she ever told a soul, her body would likely be found in a dumpster.
The depths of her soul were truly staggering to behold, and that’s what makes her stutter, not fear. “W-Well I’m sure I would never tell…!”
Helga looks up at the ceiling, weighing her options, literally shaking, before finally slumping, defeated. “...I like Arnold.”
Lila leaned in the slightest amount. “Pardon? I couldn’t hear you.”
“IlikeArnold.” She repeated, eyes squeezed shut.
“I’m sorry Helga, you’re mumbling.”
Helga whirled on her, fire in her eyes as she threw her hands forward and got right in Lila’s face. “I. LIKE. ARNOLD!” She cried, clasping her hands over her chest. “Ooooh, I’m head over heels, hook line and sinker, over the moon, loop-de-loop, waa waa IN LOVE WITH THE BOY! Happy now? HAPPY!?”
Lila smiled, placing a finger on her chin. “I kind of had a funny feeling you liked him.”
Helga slumped. “So can I have the part?”
Lila smiled. “Of course, Helga.”
“Great!” Helga turned and walked away as if she hadn’t just spilled her guts. She took two steps out the door before turning. “Oh, and remember, if you tell anyone…” Then she growled and wrung her hands together to pantomime exactly what she’d do.
“I promise.” Lila replied. Helga saluted her with a finger before finally leaving, and Lila’s face began to turn red.
Once Lila knew without a shadow of a doubt that Helga loved Arnold, it didn’t take long for fascination to root itself inside her mind. Not with the confession, not between the two of them, but solely for Helga. Everyone else looked at her and saw perfection, sweetness, and kindness. Helga took one look at her the second they’d met and saw the darkness underneath, and after her confession, oh, those jealous looks became full blown hatred. Why else would Lila continue to lead Arnold on and not just get out of the way? Yes, she never egged Arnold on per se, but she didn’t stop him every time he tried to flirt, or offer her things. Helga could see that she never reciprocated Arnold’s affections, but still took everything she could get out of him. One day, she couldn’t take it anymore, and found Lila at a rare moment alone, when she wasn’t surrounded by fawning boys.
“Leave him alone.” She’d growled.
“What are you talking about, Helga?” Lila had asked.
“He’s getting desperate for your stupid affections, and you’re doing nothing about it, Lila. Cut it out, now.” Helga had replied, eyes narrowed.
“I’m not making him do anything, Helga. It’s he who’s going out of his way for my attention.”
“That just makes it worse! You’re not doing anything to stop him!” She snorted derisively, arms crossed. “I knew you weren’t Little Miss Perfect, but I thought you were better than that. You’re a pretty big disappointment, Lila.” And then she walked away, and Lila felt…strangely bad about it. Later that week, Arnold had actually attempted to use Gerald’s little sister to get closer to her, and Lila knew she had to nip that in the bud.
Lila’s face had burned when she went home that day, tossing the stupid toucan hat into the trash the instant she got to her bedroom. Not because of Arnold or how disappointed she was in him, but because she couldn’t stop thinking of Helga saying she was disappointed in her. It was agonizing. No one had ever seen through her so thoroughly but still expected so much! Helga had seen just how fake her politeness and austerity was and still believed it COULD be real, and got angry when Lila didn’t live up to that expectation, and that made her heart pang with something she couldn’t identify, something she’d never felt before. And then Future Tech Industries had arrived, threatening to bulldoze the entire neighborhood. Everyone believed that Arnold would find a way to save them, and to his credit, he did. He was practically a celebrity in Hillwood afterward, but he shrugged it off as he always did. But something had changed between them, all three of them. Helga had changed the least, at least on the outside, with her still bullying everyone in her usual way. Arnold meanwhile seemed completely distracted by Helga, despite the fact that he was also acting like nothing had changed. Lila knew better. Whatever had happened between them had…dulled Helga. That passion inside her that pushed her to violence had been quieted. She tried not to let it show, but whenever Arnold wasn’t looking, she could see Helga looking so forlorn. She hated it. So she made her move, approaching Helga again and talking to her. She dropped the act, knowing that Helga would see right through it, would accuse her of pitying her and just withdraw deeper. And Arnold, oh, dear sweet Arnold, it was quite adorable how jealous he got over Helga just talking to her without her usual bluster. If he wasn’t going to take his chance with her, Lila didn’t see a reason why she couldn’t shoot her shot, so to speak. But beneath that selfishness beat a truth darker than any she’d held before.
She had no chance at all in this battle. Helga had been devoted to Arnold in a way that one usually only read about in story books, a natural, all-consuming, true love. And even if Arnold denied it, she could tell something had changed in him. He was looking at Helga constantly, doodling in his notebook pink bows and soft smiles, and it was quite funny to see the jealous looks Helga used to shoot her way now being shot at her from the other direction. Ironically, with Arnold being so committed to pretending nothing had happened, it became easier and easier for Helga and Lila to become friends. As the one usually in a hard situation, when Helga’s father refused to update his stock, it was Lila she turned to for a sympathetic ear or a vent session when Helga needed it, thinking that Lila, as someone who’d grown up without much, was the only one who could relate, and Lila fell in love with her a little more every time. Not with some ideal of Helga, but with the real her. Smarter than she ever let on, funny in little cruel ways, compassionate, yet abrasive, awful at ever accepting empathy, and still refusing to do anything halfway. Throughout all of it, there was Arnold. Lila knew her secret, so as long as she kept promising not to tell (which she did, many many times), Helga felt comfortable to vent about him to her. Lila resented him sometimes, not because he didn’t deserve Helga’s affections, although honestly that would’ve made things easier. No it was simply because even when he WAS so obviously in denial, he would still care about her, keep doing little things to show that he deserved that immense pedestal she placed him atop, and kept trying to pull her up on one as well. She used to lie awake at night, seething, burning with envy at the fact that Arnold didn’t have to plot, or scheme, or worm his way into Helga’s thoughts. He just existed and he was already there. Of course, she had to skip the trip to San Lorenzo to see her grandparents, and when she returned, Arnold and Helga were…together. She entertained fantasies of what might’ve been if she’d gone for years, fantasies of confessing her love to Helga and earning all of that devotion that was WASTED on that football head. Immature maybe, but she never acted on any of it. She spent her middle and high school years enduring their mushy little looks, acting like nothing was wrong, all the while knowing with certainty that Helga would never, ever, in a billion years, look at her with even a fraction of the love she had for him, and Lila, lovesick fool that she was, kept carrying that torch all this time.
She watched as Arnold’s hands shook gently as he took Helga’s in his own. Helga looks at Arnold like she still can’t believe it, even after more than a decade of utter devotion, and that is what breaks Lila’s heart for good. The fact that after all this time, they still look at each other like they’re seeing for the first time. As Arnold speaks his vows, not a grandiose speech, but a simple promise to love her forever, and Helga couldn’t help but sniffle, Lila allows herself one last bitter, envious desire to be the one standing across from Helga instead. She’d spent years wanting it, imagining it when she allowed herself. But it wasn’t meant to be. Helga had loved Arnold before they had the words for it, before there was any kind of life experience to tell them what love was, and Arnold admitted that he suspected long before he ever said a word about it. How could one compete against something that old, that true, that real? You don’t. And Lila’s tired of trying, and not trying, because the truth is, this crush she’s nursed for over a decade has become increasingly childish, a stubborn insistence on wanting something she knows she could never have. Sitting here now, watching Arnold and Helga look at each other like nothing else existed, she had to admit something to herself. Some people simply are meant to be, and she was truly blessed to watch it happen.
“I do.” Arnold says, his voice cracking, his smile splitting his face wide.
Helga hiccups out a laugh, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “Criminy…You know I do.” The kiss that follows is simple, Arnold wrapping his arms around her back and hers winding around his neck and pulling him down into a passionate liplock that Lila allows herself to desire one last time before she stands and claps with everyone else. She doesn’t allow herself to want as Arnold leads Helga down the aisle to the reception. The rest of the ceremony is a whirlwind, she deftly dodges out of the way when she sees the glint in Helga’s eyes, landing the bouquet in Rhonda’s arms, something that sends Curly into loud whoops and hollers. Gerald makes a toast at the cheers of the entire crowd. Arnold and Helga cut the cake, enjoyed the food, and danced together as husband and wife for the first time. It truly was beautiful, and Lila couldn’t help but admire just how horrible they were at keeping their eyes off each other. It took near the end of the night for Lila to be able to get them alone. Arnold was holding Helga’s shoes, and the bride was leaning back in her chair massaging her sore feet. Her eyes lit up as Lila approached, because Helga could sense a shift in behavior like a veteran with an old wound can sense a shift in the weather.
“You alright, sunshine?” Helga asks, eyes narrowed, and Lila fights back a smile because of course she can sense it.
She steps forward, grasping Arnold’s hand and placing it atop Helga’s. “Thank you for inviting me. May your love always prosper, Helga, Arnold.”
Arnold’s expression warms into a smile immediately. Helga looks like she’s about to say something, to voice a thought that had never been spoken between them, before she shrugs. “Thanks, Lila. Now go have fun. I think Arnoldo and I are ready to head to the hotel to begin the honeymoon.” She says instead, and Lila nods and steps away.
When Brainy finds her and extends a hand to ask her to dance, she finds it a bit easier to accept.