Chapter Text
Through blurry eyes, you could barely recognize where you were. Sure, the stone arches looked vaguely familiar and maybe the floor you were laying on was too. But right now, everything felt so far away, not the rough surface of the stone floor under your palms, the smell of burning fire in through your nostrils nor the panicked screams seemed able to reach you. The only thing you could feel was the plaguing weight inside of your chest, crushing your lungs under its unforgiving pressure.
You coughed, mouth filled with blood and stained petals. At every cough, it felt like your throat and chest were lit on fire and tears escaped the corner of your eyes. This pain should be familiar by now, it has grown stronger for weeks. Still, it hurt like a bitch and now the pain had numbed everything else.
In the distance, green lightning and clashes of steel were the last of your worries. Even if you tried, you couldn’t care less about all of this because your whole body just hurt so much. Someone shouted, closer this time. God, when would this excruciating feeling of your heart and lungs be squeezed to death ever stop?
Something dropped beside you. Or was it someone? You tried to say something, at least to say you were still alive. Nothing but gurgled sounds came out of you; words were stuck with the blood and flowers that had been growing inside of your chest and crawling out of your throat for the past weeks.
Someone ripped your jacket open and pressed something on your plexus. Once, twice, a third time and on, repeatedly. Trying to force some of those flowers out to get you some air. They called you. Another hand cradled your cheek and a face came into your blurred vision. Even on the verge of death, you could recognize those hazel hair and brown eyes anywhere. The pathetic attempt at calling out Xavier’s name only came out as a weak wheeze, as more blood dripped from your mouth.
As the crushing feeling in your chest grew even heavier, at a point where your own body couldn’t take it anymore, you felt yourself slip away. When your vision went black, you wondered how things could have turned differently.
*
[2 months earlier]
It happened for the first time during fencing class.
All the students had stopped their practice to stare at the intense sparring between Bianca and the new student clad in black. Mask tucked under your arm, you didn’t miss a second of their pride-filled match.
“Never thought I'd see Bianca having her ass kicked in fencing” you whispered.
Next to you, Xavier let out a chuckle.
“You did beat her several times last year if I reckon”
That made you snort, “Yeah, as I said, I never saw someone do it, I was too busy actually succeeding at it.”
To be honest, it was a tight match between you and Bianca on who was the best in the fencing team. But you had backed down when she and Xavier had started dating; you didn’t want his new girlfriend to hate your guts more than she already could. Being Xavier’s childhood friend had made things awkward at the beginning of their relationship. You couldn’t say she was really fond of you now, but at least you were civil to each other.
Bianca’s opponent executed a pirouette to dodge the siren’s attack and you let out a low whistle.
“Woah, guess Wednesday does know her shit,” you said in admiration.
Xavier’s head snapped to you, eyes wide. “You know her?”
“New roommate apparently,” you casually answered. At his lack of response, you glanced at him, only to catch him mesmerized by the fencing match. Or rather, by your new gothic roomie. That made you frown slightly. Not even when he was with Bianca did you ever see Xavier with such a look of adoration. “Why?”
He didn’t answer immediately, too focused on the match. Like he hadn’t heard you. You nudged his arm slightly, making him realize that you had asked him something.
“I think I know her from before,” he muttered.
He had answered you. But he had not granted you a single glance. You had known him for so very long, you shouldn’t have been bothered by that. After all, he was free to do whatever he wanted. But his strange fascination for this new student felt strange to you for some reason. Something in your chest didn’t feel right, like a starting cough. Feeling your throat starting to tingle, you sneezed once, twice, covering your nose for decency. Something soft landed on your hand as you sneezed but before you had time to see what it was a collective gasp made your head snap up. Wednesday kneeled on the floor, a clean cut painting her pale cheek in red. That made you gasp, too. She just lost.
Before Bianca could loathe anymore, the brunette gathered herself and hurriedly left the room, stiff as ever. You stepped aside like the other students to let her through. She was probably going to the infirmary to get her cheek checked.
“Well, that was weird,” you said with a dry chuckle. Then you turned toward your friend, “Are you down for another match, Xav?”
He didn’t answer you again. His eyes were still glued to where Wednesday had disappeared a few moments ago. It wasn’t intentional probably, but the negligence of your childhood friend made your chest ache.
“Xavier?” you called him.
“I- uh sorry Y/N, I gotta go”, he mumbled pensively before excusing himself from the room.
Dumbfounded by his sudden departure, you looked at Ajax.
“What’s gotten him?” you asked him.
The gorgon only shrugged, “Dunno. It’s not the first time he had acted strange, eh?”
You nodded, he had made a point. You had known Xavier for a long time and knew him pretty well, but this time you couldn’t understand his behaviour.
“Wanna do another match?”
“Thanks, Ajax,” you said with a small smile, “but I think I’m gonna hit the sho-”
A fit of cough interrupted you, your chest burning with an itching sensation. It felt like something was stuck in your throat, and the coughs intensified until they disappeared only a few moments later. When the itching stopped, you looked at the gorgon apologetically.
“I think this is the sign for me to call it a day,” you joked. “Too bad, you could have actually beat me in this state.”
He snorted and nudged you playfully to the exit of the room, telling you he would have totally beat you anyway. As soon as you came out of the room, you opened your clenched hand. At the sight of five white flower petals, you frowned.
“What the fuck,” you muttered to yourself.
Your day had just become a lot weirder than you thought.
*
Fortunately, by the time you had stepped out of the shower the sneezes and other weird petals-coughing had stopped. So you had brushed away the thought, thinking it might be related to your late gardening the previous night. You had spent half of the night tending to your collection of plants and had almost fallen asleep on the workbench.
Returning to your room, you were met by the sight of your roommates, Enid and Wednesday in what appeared to be a glaring contest in the middle of the room.
“Already at each other’s throats?” you asked, making Enid humph and plop on her bed with a pout.
The brunette eyed you meticulously like she was analyzing every detail about you.
“It’s nice to meet you officially Wednesday,” you said with a small nod of your head. From what you had heard from Enid, she wasn’t the type to enjoy any unnecessary physical contact.
“You must be Y/N” she observed sharply, “Principal Weems had mentioned that I was to be plagued with two roommates.”
You nodded, not taking the icy comment personally. “I am. Though I’m very mindful of everyone’s personal space considering that I also cherish mine.”
“Perfect,” said Wednesday sharply. “I also understood you were quite a fitting fencing partner.”
“You did?” you asked with an arched eyebrow.
“Xavier mentioned it,” she said.
“You talked with Xavier?” you asked with a surprised frown.
The way her eyes narrowed at every one of your reactions wasn’t missed.
“He talked at the infirmary. Just helped me to get out of a murder attempt.”
“A what now?” you asked with a dry chuckle.
“A WHAT??” Enid screamed.
Wednesday rolled her eyes at your blond roommate’s reaction. With a flick of your wrist and a simple mumbled incantation, the torrent of question the werewolf had started to ramble turned into silence. Enid gave you an outraged face at your actions, throwing silent threats at you before returning to her bed and pout. The ever so slight twitch of Wednesday’s eyebrow showed that you might actually have impressed her.
“Witch” you said simply, pointing at yourself. “Silencing spells comes out handy here.”
“Quite impressive,” said Wednesday in her usual flat tone. “Thorpe had failed to mention your actual useful assets.”
The thought that he hadn’t talked about your powers wasn’t odd. The both of you had basically grown up together when your aunt had started to drop you frequently at his dad’s house when you were kids. Your aunt was quite popular in the witch community and was good friends with Xavier’s equally famous father. When you ended up in her care after your mom’s passing, you gained a new friend in Xavier. By now he was used to your powers; it felt normal to him.
“Well if you ever need a fencing partner, you know where to find me”
She tsked, sharply returning to her chair to sit in front of her typewriter, “Although I’m not sure to step in the fencing room ever again, it is a reassuring thought to have someone able to actually stab efficiently in the same room as I.”
You chuckled at her words, “My pleasure.”
Seeing that she wasn’t listening anymore to dedicate her time to writing, you plopped down on your bed, opening one of your history books to go through the last lesson. Everyone at Nevermore knew you were kind of a hardcore student, often spending free time practicing your abilities or studying. Even if your aunt hadn’t been the most present parent, she had always made sure you had the best tutors to teach you witchcraft. In the early years you had been under her care, you had been quick to understand that excellent grades and results were what made you worthy in her eyes; not that you thought less of her – witches were prideful beings and big on family glory. Now you weren’t trying to get her attention through scholarship anymore, but good habits of studying stayed.
So it wasn’t unusual for you to get a text from Xavier asking if you could help him with some assignment, like he just did.
Glancing from your book, you noticed that Wednesday was still on her writing hour, while Enid had left the room. You got up, grabbed your bag to throw a few personal effects and slipped out of your room. Girls and boys weren’t supposed to sneak into each other’s dormitories, but you knew how to go past the surveillance easily. Knocking on Xavier’s door, you waited for someone to answer. When he opened the door, Xavier had his usual lopsided grin.
“Hey”
“Hi there,” you smiled back, before entering the room, noticing the absence of his roommate, “Rowan’s not here?”
Immediately, Xavier’s eyes became colder and he seemed to tense.
“Nah. Don’t think he’ll be coming back tonight to be honest.”
You arched an eyebrow, while sitting cross-legged on Xavier’s bed, “Why?”
He licked his lips nervously, like he pondered whether or not he should tell you this. But after all, you were his oldest friend, and he trusted you with his life.
“He tried to kill Wednesday earlier.”
That made your eyes widen; not really the attempted murder part, more the fact than Rowan did it.
“Rowan?” you repeated. “As in, Rowan your roommate?”
He frowned, “You don’t seem very surprised that someone tried to kill Wednesday.”
You felt your chest tighten once again at his concerned tone. Like you wanted to start to cough again.
“She told me,” you explained, “though she doesn’t know who had tried to kill her.”
“Fuck,” he swore, passing a nervous hand through his hair, “I don’t know why he had done this.”
The way he looked so distressed made bile rise in your throat. You stopped the cough before it ever came out of your mouth.
“Look, we can’t know until Rowan’s back, okay?” you said calmly, trying to ease the tension, “Wednesday’s okay, I’m even pretty sure she’s honored that someone came this close to kill her on her first week here.”
That elicited a laugh from Xavier, and at this sound you felt lighter.
“Yeah, that’s probably right,” he chuckled before sitting down on the bed next to you. “I guess we’ll see where all of this goes, uh? Maybe it was all a misunderstanding.”
You hummed in agreement, “Besides, Wednesday knows how to defend herself, and I’m not going to let my roommate alone in the face of danger, no matter how much she pulls the cool detached girl behavior.”
He smiled at that. Despite the weird character of Wednesday, you didn’t wish her any harm. Should she be in danger, sure you’d help her.
Grabbing one book from your back, you gently swat it on Xavier’s shoulder.
“Don’t try to change the subject though mister,” you playfully reminded him, “I do believe you texted me to save your sorry artistic ass once again.”
He dodged your next attack, laughing as you tried to hit him again with your notebook.
“Yes ma’am” he smirked, grabbing his own notes.
The two of you started to work, leaving the subject of your new roommate behind. An hour into this comfortable studying session, where you helped Xavier for a botany assignment and he showed you some of his recent sketches, it felt like it had always been. You were comfortable around each other, everything seemed to come out effortlessly. That’s why you loved to spend time with Xavier so much.
You stretched your arms above your head, releasing all the tension that had built up due to your slouched position while studying.
“I’ll never understand how you always ace the arithmetic classes, Xav” you said with an amused smile.
“That might be my hard work,” he mused with a grin, letting himself fall on his back onto the mattress.
You snorted and threw a ball of paper on him, “You’re like the laziest student ever, Thorpe.”
He caught it effortlessly, “Must be my natural talent then,” he said before throwing it back at you, hitting you on the head.
“Oh you’re gonna pay for that,” you grinned, jumping on his side.
He jumped at your sudden move but before he could protest you were already tickling him mercilessly. “Hey! This isn’t fair!” he wheezed in between laughs.
He tried to counter your attacks, jabbing your sides and the two of you ended up rolling on his bed, giggling like children tickling each other restlessly. At some point Xavier managed to flip you over and you squealed at the sudden turn of events. You started preparing for a witty come back but the words were caught in your throat at the sight of Xavier’s face merely inches from yours. Hovering above you, he got you pinned on his bed; your breaths, ragged and mixing together softly caressing each other’s cheeks. For the briefest moment, it seemed like you saw his eyes for the first time. Brown, warm and bottomless; they looked like home to you. They had golden highlights too, how come you had never noticed?
While you were gazing at Xavier’s face, you hadn’t noticed him kissing every inch of your face with the very same eyes you were lost in. Before you could stop yourself your gaze flickered to his lips briefly then to his eyes again, only to find his gaze already on yours.
“Hi,” he whispered.
“Hey,” you breathed back.
“Willing to recognize my undeniable charm now?” he asked huskily with his usual grin.
You huffed softly at that, “I thought you talked about natural talent.”
“Well there’s that too, thanks for reminding me Y/N” he casually grinned. His expression then softened, “I’m trying to reach your level, sweetheart.”
Your already short breath got caught in your throat. It wasn’t the first time you heard him using affectionate pet names, but you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks shade in soft pink. This time felt…different. Maybe because you were laying on Xavier’s bed, with half of his body pressed against yours, complimenting you.
Somehow, the weight on your chest felt like it had almost disappeared.
Your eyes wandered once again on his full pink lips without really realizing it.
“Xav?” you whispered, not wanting to speak louder, like you were afraid it would ruin the moment.
“Yeah?”
Suddenly, you felt shy. You had never felt embarrassed about talking about anything with Xavier. So why did it feel so strange now? Licking your lips nervously you averted your eyes, unsure of what to do.
“Do you think…do you think about us, sometimes?”
At his lack of response you sighed quietly and kept your gaze down. God you felt embarrassed now.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, “this was a stupid question I shouldn’t have asked that.”
Noticing your discomfort, Xavier brought his hand to your face slowly.
“Hey,” he said, carefully brushing a strand of hair off your face, “hey it’s okay. No hiding between us, remember?”
You could only shrug slightly, unsure of what to say.
To be honest, you weren’t sure why you were asking this now. Of course, you had wondered if you and Xavier would someday be more than friends. It even seems that the thought had never really left, it was simply buried more or less deep in your mind. And somehow, it was resurfacing now.
“I have thought about it,” he confessed, “a lot, actually.” That made your heart flutter. Until he add, “But this…I can’t–”
A strong sound of chords, although muffled by the walls, made him stop. Without really realizing it, your head turned toward the window too. It sounded like someone was playing on a balcony?
This unexpected interruption seemed to break the strange yet intimate charm the two of you were caught in, and Xavier slowly pushed himself away from you, clearing his throat awkwardly. Yours on the other hand, felt tighter than ever. Still you got up from the bed, and just like Xavier, approached the window, curious about this melody resonating throughout Nevermore’s walls.
“It sounds like a cello,” mumbled Xavier, looking through the window to try to catch a glimpse of the mysterious player.
“Nobody has a cello in the school,” you started to think out loud as an image of your new roommate’s belongings flashed into your mind, “except…”
Your eyes flickered immediately to your room’s balcony, on the other side of the quad. Sitting under the night sky and deep in concentration, Wednesday Addams was playing cello like it was the last time she’d ever play. Passionate, dark, precise. An impressive presence that weightened down every other.
You didn’t know how long you had stayed in front of the window, mesmerized by the intensity of the music recital. When you got out of your reverie, your head snapped in Xavier’s direction. Really, you didn’t really know what to expect, it had been more a reflex than anything else. But finding him hovering over a sheet of paper, erratically sketching like a madman, wasn’t what you expected at all.
Sensing your burning gaze on his back Xavier lifted his head; at the betrayed look on your face, his eyes turned into pleading ones.
“I– I’m sorry I just–”
“No it’s me,” you cut him sharply in a small voice. Crossing the room to gather your belongings you hurriedly threw all of your stuff in your bag. Not daring looking up at Xavier; or else you weren’t sure you would be able to restrain your tears. “I overstepped, I should be going.”
“Y/N I–” Xavier pleaded.
“G’night Xavier,” you mumbled, storming out of the room and shutting the door behind you.
Eyes glued on the floor for the entire walk, you crossed the empty hallways in a hurry. At a turn, the gruesome feeling in your chest returned. Like a hot iron gripping on your lungs, a sharp pain started to overtake you. The harsh, tingling sensation clawed at your throat, acid plaguing your chest and lungs. As the first cough escaped your mouth, you leaned on the wall for support, hand covering your mouth. The horrid sensation of the never ending dry cough, shaking your whole body like a trembling leaf was crippling you. You weren’t even able to take another step, as the sensation of something crawling out of your chest through your throat was intensifying every passing second.
The coughs hardened, until at last your stomach managed to regurgitate something. Bending over as you felt you were beginning to throw up, your hand came in front of you out of reflex to grab whatever you were spitting. With an awful gurgling sound, you finally spat out something soft, covered with a sticky substance. More smaller bits escaped your mouth for a whole solid minute, your mouth still feeling soggy but the coughs gradually easing down anyway.
Bringing your trembling hands up, you opened them tentatively to see what had been stuck in your throat for so long. On your palm lay a white flower and scattered petals, covered with saliva and blood. Wiping the wet string dripping from your mouth with quivering fingers, you held them up in the moonlight. They were red and wet, covered in blood too.
Crumbling against the wall, you let yourself fall on the ground. For long minutes, you stared at the bloody flowers in your hand. Then, you bursted into tears.
“What the fuck,” you sobbed in disbelief.
You had no idea of what was going on; but this was far more concerning than you had originally thought.