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It was cold aboard the Persistence, on the way to Edmund's planet. Amelia's planet.
Cold, freaking goddamn cold to the point of the captain's fingers beginning to lose their precision on the screen as he was trying to pinpoint the issue.
"God dammit…"
Way colder than it was allowed to be.
"-Sir, the ambient temperature of the craft is steadily declining to-"
"Yeah no SHIT!"
TARS wisely aborted its speech module's further output, awaiting orders rather than attempting to offer the agitated human its assistance for a fourth time.
"Well at least the critical antifreezers are online… Not gonna cut it for any decent ambient temps though…" Cooper mumbled with a deep frown, firmly tapping and swiping through the cockpit's touch screen menus.
[INSTRUCTION MANUAL] >
> [INITIATION PROCEDURES]
He paused, eyes eagerly scanning the listed procedures.
"Aghhh… you gotta be kidding me."
> [THERMOSTAT DE-ICING]
…
After quickly reading through the offered blocks of text, a long, deeply agitated, harsh sigh left the pilot, rubbing his icy fingers into his warm eyes.
TARS knew its captain had found the culprit, and patiently waited for his status update from inside its charging dock.
"Okay TARS, I messed up, I overlooked a couple pre-flight steps," he called out without eye contact, dropping his hands to his lap.
"God damn new Ranger model…" he mumbled to himself.
"-It's not like you had a lot of time to check everything by the book before stealing the craft, Coop."
"Myeahh well I shoulda prepared better…"
"-What's the damage report?"
Cooper got up with another strained sigh, saunteringly making his way to the medkit cabinet.
He'd felt absolutely drained since his awakening on the station, and wondered if his energy levels would ever be back to normal after the ordeal of his voyage.
"Skipped the required thermostat pre-flush, the whole thing has frozen solid by now. Just kicked it off but it'll take hours to defrost before it can even start heatin' this place up. With the antifreeze backup it's at least gonna be a nice fridge in here instead of a freezer but I ain't looking forward to it either way."
He set down the medkit box and rummaged through the top cabinet some more - to no avail.
Disappointed, he clicked and flipped open the medkit, quick to find what he was looking for: A shiny foil-coated thermal emergency blanket.
Great.
"Well, fortunately the damage is reversible," TARS optimistically offered, clunking softly against the floor as it'd made its way over to Cooper.
"-Myeah well… I do need to catch some sleep, seems like it's gonna be a damn cold nap," he growled as he unfolded the thin crinkly sheet, measuring it to barely even cover half of his body. "The hell is this even…"
"-That appears to be a thermal napkin, Sir." Cue light obviously on.
The grumpy human couldn't help but briefly snort in chuckled laughter. "Hah- Right. Well, shit."
As Cooper passed the rectangular robot with a tired but genuine smile of amusement, TARS contently registered the positive feedback, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the seemingly successfully induced relaxation of its currently only crew member - its most valued one ever, at that.
{"They gave him a humor setting, so he'd fit in better with his unit. He thinks it relaxes us."}
Cooper plopped down into the copilot's seat and reclined, squirming against the backrest to get comfortable. He sneered at his ridiculous attempt to even cover himself remotely sufficiently with the flimsy thermal blanket. He briefly wondered if the place was gonna get too cold to try and sleep, but figured he'd find out soon enough.
TARS had quietly followed him, as subtly as it could.
"Sir, if I may? Temperatures are about to drop well below your biologically safe range for a prolonged period. Especially for sleeping, you will likely get very uncomfortable, or worse. I will attempt to provide some warmth while the thermostat flushes."
Cooper snorted another laugh, turning away from TARS and closing his eyes as he tried to snuggle into the chair more comfortably. "Hah, what, you gonna come up and spoon me? Give me a nice robo cuddle? No thanks, Slick, I'm cold enough as-is. Don't need your cold ass sucking up all the heat I got. Kill the lights for me would ya."
"-...Affirmative," TARS replied gently and without fuss as most of the cabin lights went off.
…
Cooper opened his eyes with furrowed brows.
The hell..?
A… pleasant warm breeze sent a slow rush through his skin. A nice and steady flow of warm air.
He abruptly turned back around to face TARS, standing there in silence. Blowing warm air at him, like an oversized electric heater.
Cooper's eyes widened in shock -
"What the hell TARS, you're warm!? Where's that even coming from-" he carelessly let the blanket slip to flutter to the floor, leaning over and reaching to find the actual source of the hot air; "Your cooling vents?! Christ TARS..!"
In part, TARS registered a sense of conflict and guilt, seeing Cooper this worried and tense over its actions. A cold hand came up to its plates - an almost intimate gesture, had it been another man's chest.
But it was nothing other than flat metal plating that was supposed to feel cool.
"You're - you're warm, you're too damn warm," Cooper sternly stammered with concern, watching the robot's screen indicate a red warning symbol and a clear error,
[ERR28 - CORE.TEMP ANOMALY: HI]
"...and that error don't look good at all, bud. You ain't built to be a heater are ya?" He retracted his hand, despite the pleasant warmth to his icy digits.
"Knock it off before you damage yourself."
Finally, TARS spoke, calmly.
"It's fine, Coop, don't worry about it. I'm well within my safe thermal range, my sudden increased temperature is merely registering as an anomaly, which is to be expected."
Cooper doubtfully eyed the machine for a while, eyes darting between its display (the error now suppressed and hidden), and its main camera lens.
Looking it in the eye, like he often tended to do.
TARS stared right back, registering and recording every single detail of the intriguing organics of Cooper's behaviors.
"...Alright then… But don't you fucking break down on me TARS," he finally hummed lowly.
"-That's a promise. Would you like to be the big spoon or the little spoon, Sir?"
At this ridiculous offer, Cooper couldn't hold back a snicker, lowering his face to hide the extent of his laughter. "Hahahah… Piss off, you idiot… I'm serious though - what about your uhh, battery life 'n all that?"
"-Cooper, I run on hybrid plutonium cells. I can warm a human for a while."
Cooper paused in thought, finding himself now seriously considering the offer. It really fucking was cold, and getting colder. The bot had a point. And shit, the warmth had felt more than welcome - it was becoming pretty damn hard to stop himself from shivering.
Maybe it was stupid not to accept, even.
By the way he frowned and tucked in his lip the way he does, TARS registered the high likelihood of the consideration going through Cooper's mind.
And finally, with a nod, came the submission.
"Hah… Alright then…"
TARS noted that Cooper seemed quite awkward. Interesting.
"Guess I can just uhh…" he gestured the angular machine up and down, "...y'know, should I like… lie down on you or somethin'..? Do you have a comfy recliner setting?" he finished, jokingly.
But, as requested…
"-Sure do."
… the versatile robot indeed swiftly adjusted its shape, carefully laying itself down on the floor with a slight angle to its top section, leaning on a small extended stand at the back.
"Go right ahead."
Cooper stared blankly at his companion's reconfiguration, realizing what he'd gotten himself into. It looked inviting, comfortable, tempting. But also… so much worse than before.
Then again, he was awfully cold.
He sighed and slid off the chair, snatching the foily blanket off the floor in the process. He took slow steps around the chair and hesitantly looked down at the waiting robot once more.
"...aight…"
Without another word, Cooper lowered himself. Finding no place to put them any better than any other, he placed his hands onto TARS' warm plating for support as he carefully sat himself down atop it.
Although TARS had obviously been prepared, it couldn't help but register a heightened alertness at the sudden input against many of its sensors - pressure sensors making their presence known at the man's weight; tactile sensors registering his cold hands followed by the unfamiliarity of Cooper's clothed body gently making contact, then adding weight, as he - as unnecessarily carefully as he could - lied himself down onto the rectangular machine.
Cooper lied on his side, squirming into the smooth metal for a moment for optimized comfort beneath the little thermal blanket (friction duly registered, by the intrigued bot) and finally settling for his face resting right against the pleasantly warm plating, against the slightly elevated angle that TARS had provided.
His shoulder fit surprisingly well in the nook of the robot's fold. Probably not a coincidence but rather a calculated optimum.
Shit. He was actually comfortable.
And he appreciated the lack of words coming out of the giant sarcastic robot.
One of them had to be the first one to speak, though.
"...Not bad, Slick. You make decent furniture," he decided.
"-I'm just versatile like that!"
"Hah… Thought you could maybe serve me as a refrigerator one day, didn't see this one comin'.."
"-To be honest Sir, I think I'd make a better heater than a refrigerator."
"Myeah, a refrigerator-shaped heater…" Cooper closed his eyes with a stifled chuckle.
But not for long. He wasn't all that sleepy yet. With parted eyelids, he wiggled into the flat surface once again, and briefly shivered with quite the involuntary jerk as the delightful warmth began to do its work, making him sigh.
TARS registered its simulated amusement in its processor, and something of endearment. Flashing too quickly across his screen for Cooper's eyes to read, but not to fast to notice, paired with a brief low little buzz inside the machine.
Did TARS just fucking giggle?
Whatever.
The bot's screen sat right beside his face, shining a bright blue in the dark, despite having been dimmed to a lower brightness setting. Cooper's eyes followed the calm strings of text flash and scroll by. Mostly just verbose debug logs, as far as he could make out the occasional word and code. Not that he made an effort to read it all. Just mindlessly watching it like a little tv screen to fall asleep to.
"You cozy there, Coop?"
"-Shuuush," Cooper growled with feigned snark at the mildly teasingly delivered vocal audio.
TARS' cue light very briefly lit up.
A fucking wink, are you kidding me?
"Heh- Very smooth, Slick…"
Content quiet followed.
Until Cooper hushly spoke up again, deciding he wanted to chat with his companion.
"…How ya generating heat anyway if you weren't built for it?"
"-I'm simply running some recursive calculations on full CPU, slightly overclocked."
Cooper raised his eyebrows, despite his eyes getting heavier.
"Slightly?"
"-...That's 800%."
"Jesus Christ, TARS."
No response followed. Mild guilt flashed by its screen.
"Well, whatcha calculating?" Cooper asked, closing his eyes.
"-Just pi."
"Pi? Ain't that already proven to be infinite?"
"-Yep."
Cooper snickered. "Idiot…"
TARS easily deduced from the snickered remark of offense along with the lingering soft smirk on Cooper's face, that he'd meant it affectionately.
The ambience of the spacecraft droned softly.
"...Hey TARS..?"
"-Yeah?"
"...How about some of those robo cuddles, huh?"
TARS halted, needing to briefly pause its calculations of pi to register this request properly.
Cooper felt his cheeks glow with embarrassment as he'd mustered up the courage to word the stupid request aloud. He couldn't help the ridiculous fluttering in his chest at the answer, however.
"Affirmative," TARS voiced softly.
It delicately unfolded the rims of its outer sides to two appendages not too different from arms, gently coming around Cooper's form in a careful hold.
Cooper swallowed, feeling his eyes prickle with tears behind closed eyelids.
Painfully reminded of his loved ones, all of them now a memory of a past he mostly missed out on, it just felt too goddamn good to be held for a bit, out here alone in the cold void. Even if it was just TARS.
Shit, especially if it was TARS.
Fuck it.
He extended his arm and latched his hand onto the angular mech's edge in a returned embrace, instinctively stroking his thumb across the warm metal.
Invisible to Cooper's closed eyes, an array of output ran across TARS' screen.
Affection. Comfort. Appropriateness. Expectancy.
All kinds of parameters, quickly considered and evaluated against one another by the repurposed ex-military machine, before it unfolded its grippers, and gently returned the gesture, ever so softly stroking the man's back as it held him close.
"Thank you, TARS," Cooper whispered through the lump in his throat, with a subtle rub of his face into the smooth surface.
"-I gotcha, Coop. Goodnight."