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Hongjoong knew it was probably a weird habit he had, but it was a way that he survived with the long hours in the studio and the muscle pain that tended to come with the long practices and possibly sleeping in the studio most nights. He found fan fiction one might while majorly sleep deprived and trying to find another good photo of seonghwa for a drawer in his desk that was definitely all about the older man. He knew the drawer was a little odd to have but it didn't hurt anything if he could play it off as concept building since, he technically had another drawer with photos of older concepts and the other members measurements but that bottom drawer was for seonghwa his only hyung and his protector.
Hongjoong knew that reading fan fiction about him and seonghwa could be seen as weird so he obviously made the account under the name seongjoong_lover_093 because why would he put his real name or producer tag?
Eventually hongjoong moved on from seonghwa x readers because most of the time he didn't act like how all of the readers were set up nut he did find out that there were fics under their ship name matz so he started looking for a few while being very careful not to accidently leave the tab open because if seonghwa were to find out what he had been reading he wasn't sure what his elder would say would he be disgusted shamed scared fuck hongjoong was now very scared.