Chapter Text
isagi is bored as shit during math class. his teacher cant teach at all and has spent the last 5 minutes yelling at his classmates and telling them to stop pointing out that the answer to the last five questions has been 6/7. so instead of listening he gets his shitty school chromebook from his bag and goes on itch.io. time to download some yandere games on school property!!!!
...damn maybe not this years yandere game jam sucks. theres one game with a guy in a green shirt and a drill in one hand and a hammer in the other. hes heard about this game but since its nsfw hes definitely not playing it right now. even if he werent in class he wouldnt play it honestly the green shirt guy is ugly so he lowk doesnt want to see his penis. moving on, theres another one with this big tiddie guy in a santa outfit. that one sorta gets isagi hard, not because of the tits but because of the santa outfit. hes always dreamed of santa force feeding him cookies and filling his ass with 2% milk while showing him his spot on the nice list. the boobs are definitely a plus but the santa outfits all he really needs to get on board with it. siigh but dreams arent reality and hes looking for something a little more realistic right now, so no big boobie santa.
"isagi why are you looking at big tiddie santa in class what the fuck" nagi says from behind him. oh yeah nagi sits behind him. does that mean he's seen him looking at cornhub in class yesterday too? (no, not pornhub, cornhub. check it out its not nsfw its just a bunch of literal corn getting cooked its kinda funny) isagi turns around and sends nagi an evil eye
"shut up thats why reo posts pictures of your address online everyday to try and get u to get back with him." nagi rolls his eyes.
"its not crazy of me to ask why thats on your screen during school but whatever. oh yeah by the way since youre looking at yandere game jam you should check out the one about soccer. i hear its fun but nobodys gotten the romance ending before"
nobodys gotten the romance ending before? this catches isagis interest. see, not to flex, but hes gotten every ending on every yandere game hes ever played before. if anything hes qualified to try and get this impossible ending with all of his expertise in romancing twinky anime boys with severe bpd and psychosis. he will play this soccer yandere game get the ending and become..
the internets greatest yandere gamer.
he quickly finds and downloads the game.
[enter your character's name]
oh, easy
['iputsoccerballsupmyrectum']
its gonna be so hot when the yandere says the name he put in... totally. then, when the yandere appears on screen to greet him, he looks absolutely gobsmackingly amazingly splendidly fantastically gorgeous. his sparkly yellow orbs shine as bright as the blinding white of a stereotypical mental hospital's solitary confinement room, and his beautiful hair is as stringy as the stuff inside banana peels. isagi wonders if it tastes like it too...
"hi, iputsoccerballsupmyrectum! its me meguru!!!" the yandere says, smiling. then the game gives him a dialogue option.
'hi meguru!!!
○ 'how are you sweetums cheeks baby honey?'
○ 'lets blow up venezuela together'
○ 'does your hair taste like the stringy stuff inside of banana peels?'
oh wow he was just wondering that!!! this is the first time isagis ever seen a dialogue option he would actually pick in one of these games. he chooses the third option. then, meguru appears on screen again.
"eheheheheee~ i thought youd never ask! yes it does! want to eat some?"
the game gives him two choices
"eat it" or "dont eat it"
duhh isagis eating that why is that even a choice. when he eats the hair, isagi in game suddenly gets a huge power up and becomes plus ultra handsome. all the rest of the boys on the soccer team come up and try to rizz him and meguru visibly gets mad. the worst offender is someone named rin itoshi. he smirks and grabs isagis ass in game.
rin: "heh... hello babyboy... i am very good at soccer and if you choose me i will inflate YOUR balls."
his sprite winks romantically. nagi laughs from behind isagi. thankfully the teacher is still arguing with students about the answer to 2+2 being 4 and not 6 (something about the government hiding another 2??? isagi doesnt know man this math class is full of idiots), so she doesn't call nagi and isagi out for being on the chromebook during class.
anyway so far isagi doesnt like rin, so in order to make sure he gets killed the next day he chooses to kiss him in front of meguru when he got the chance. predictably, on the next day, rin died and even more predictably, meguru kidnapped isagi in game. unpredictably though, meguru apparently had him tied to the roof by foot and hung him over a kiddie pool full of a ton of soccer balls. isagi doesnt really wanna read all the dialogue here because all his character is doing is yapping in their internal monologue about how they wouldve never expected this from meguru even though meguru is clearly fucking insane, so he skips through the text.
blah blah blah something about soccer and monsters yappy yap yap something about meguru being madly in love with isagi one two skip a few...
wait...
did meguru just say his real name? he skips back to the text that he skipped, and to his horror, the dialogue reads as follows.
"you're not listening to me, isagi..."