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Countless staff lined the walls, bowing as the grand strategist passed them. The clicking of his footsteps against the ornate wooden flooring echoed in the hallway, but Longjing paid it no mind. His focus was on one thing, and one thing only.
The door to the darkened interrogation room opened carefully, and only two aides and two guards accompanied Longjing as he stepped inside. Sat beneath the only light in the room, tied to his chair, was the sight Longjing had been waiting for, for a very long time.
"Cirrus Cutter Cookie."
He didn't look up at the sound of Longjing's voice, his long white bangs hanging over his eyes.
"You will answer every question you are given with complete honesty. You will not have any hope of leaving this place until you do." It was just pleasantries at this point, a monologue he's been read countless time's before. This was not the first time Cirrus had been captured by the Tea Clan, and it would not be the last. "Do you understand these terms?"
Cirrus made no move.
"… Do you understand-"
"It doesn't matter." He answered finally, looking up to glare at him— but there was something different in his eye. To Longjing, it was only further confirmation. "There is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know."
"Perhaps." Longjing took great effort to keep his tone neutral, heart pounding in his chest. This verbal dance only sparked nostalgia in him, exhilarating, heartwarming nostalgia.
"I have nothing to say, then." Cirrus spoke slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. "Loosen my binds."
"Arrogant as ever." Longjing's tone is deeply affectionate. "You know exactly what to say."
Cirrus's expression tightened. "… It won't fix anything."
Longjing took a step towards him, caution draining from his poise. He could not bring himself to be afraid of him.
"No set of words can change the state of things. You're chasing an impossible fantasy."
Longjing took another step forward, and his chest hammered pleasantly as he watched Cirrus lift his chin to maintain eye contact.
"You've always doubted yourself, even now." Longjing reminded him warmly. "There is always time-"
"Some things cannot be mended." Cirrus growled, his tone harsher than before.
"Do you underestimate my capabilities?"
"Even you can't bring him back. You'll only tear things more by trying-"
Longjing's hands were on his collar before his fan even clattered to the floor, a wild desperation in his eye. His shoulders rose in labored time, hot breath ghosting over Cirrus's face. Still bound, the general had no choice but to allow Longjing's slender fingers to run up his neck, lovingly trace his jaw, and lift his chin, holding him tightly in place.
"My lord-!" One of the guards called out, armor shuffling loudly as he stepped towards them.
Longjing's head snapped up with a furious glare. "Leave us." He hissed, remaining completely still until everyone had filtered out of the room, save for the two of them.
Cirrus was trapped staring upward as Longjing loomed over him, one knee sharing the seat of the chair to earn the necessary height, tangling the fabrics of their clothing together.
"… How long has it been, since you and I have been this close…?" The adoration in Longjing's voice felt twisted in this scenario. "I missed you so much."
"The me you want is still dead." Cirrus fought not to let his tone waver with the desire to melt into Longjing's hands.
"How so? You're right in front of me, aren't you? Right here with me, where we belong." Running his fingers through Cirrus's bangs, Longjing slowly and affectionately brushed out his tangled white locks, an unsettlingly serene smile gracing his lips. "I missed holding you, my love. How you would sink into my hands, let me adore you and care for you… I missed this. Didn't you?"
Hesitance churned in Cirrus's chest. "You haven't slept." He answered finally, having recognized he was walking a delicate line right now.
"I've been waiting for you. I can't sleep right until I bring you home." Longjing's tranquil gaze wavered slightly. "And here you were, right in front of me the whole time. You were waiting too, weren't you? For me to find you?"
Cirrus felt the guilt like a knife in his heart.
"I've never given up, you know. I knew you were out there. I knew it was only a matter of time." Longjing's voice was trembling, tears threatening to form. "I missed you so terribly, Nimbus…"
Something forced Cirrus to turn away, some form of screeching terror that seized his lungs like a revolt, leaving him thrashing in place, still trapped between Longjing and the chair.
When the pounding in his chest subsided, and he could finally pry open his heavy eyes, the first thing he could see was Longjing's face again, a pained smile plastered onto his expression.
"Oh my love… What have they done to you?" His tone was soft and patient, like a counselor speaking to a wronged child. "I can't imagine what they've put you through, to react that way towards your own name…"
'That's not my name,' a voice in his head cried in protest, 'that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name that's not my name that's not my name that's not—'
Cirrus couldn't think of anything he hated more than the feeling of wrongness that came with Longjing's lips on his. It wasn't the same gentle, loving feeling that he remembered. Even those happy memories were being slowly twisted, saturated with venom and recolored by this warped facsimile of what they had.
"You'll stay this time, won't you?" Longjing asked. "Now that we both have the truth."
"… Where would I go?" Cirrus croaked. "Your clan won't let me stay here, no matter your authority. There's no chance any of the alliance will even believe you."
Longjing's expression darkened. "I'll find a way." He asserted in a forceful tone. "I will not let them take you from me. Not again. Not ever."
That 'again' stung in a way Cirrus couldn't quite place. "I'm not the person you remember."
"Stop saying that."
"Nothing can go back to the way it was. Not us, not the alliance, and certainly not me."
"Don't-"
"You have to let go of the past—"
"Silence!" Longjing shrieked, attempting to tear away, but misjudging how closely his clothing was caught in Cirrus's robes, and sent them both tumbling to the ground.
When Cirrus opened his eyes, he was pinned to the floor with Longjing on top of him, the chair and his binds discarded to the wayside, come undone in the struggle. The tears staining Longjing's unsteady smile only twisted the knife in Cirrus's heart, and he felt Longjing squeeze his hand desperately.
"You're here-" His voice was breaking as he spoke, breathless and desperate. "You're finally here, I'm not letting you go- I can't- I'll put it back, I'll find a way to put everything back, but I can't let you leave again, a-and-"
Cirrus fought with himself over the choice, but ultimately decided it was just another scrap onto the pyre of his self loathing, and dragged Longjing into a kiss. He held him there tightly, as deep and passionate as he could muster. Cirrus still loved him, after all, and despite everything, he wanted Longjing to know that.
The dizzying shock of the kiss was enough for Cirrus to shove Longjing backwards, feeling another stab of guilt for taking advantage of his frail constitution. Of course, without time to stop and contemplate, Cirrus made a mad dash for the weapons rack at the back of the room, retrieving his sword.
"No, wait!" Longjing cried out to him, dragging himself off the ground. "You can't leave! Please, wait!-"
He turned his gaze towards Longjing, a regretful pain in his eye— not just from the cold metal pressed to his neck.
"I'm sorry, my love. I swear I'll come find you in the next life, if I ever reach it."
Cirrus's body vanished before it hit the floor.
Longjing wasn't sure how long he sat there on the ground, staring emptily at the air where Cirrus had been standing. Absently, he registered tears rolling down his cheeks, numbed by the despair crawling beneath his skin. The buzz of Cirrus's lips on his still lingered, and his chest hurt when he thought too hard about it.
Where had he gone wrong? He finally found him, solved the puzzle that had been driving him mad for two years now, and yet… Why would Cirrus not want to return? Was it Stockholm Syndrome? Was it obligation? Or did he simply not understand that his freedom was sitting right in front of him? Yes, that was it. He simply didn't understand yet.
As Longjing moved again, the sob he heaved morphed painfully into a hoarse laugh. The wooden floor scratched his palms and blurred behind his tears, and yet his lungs ached as more raspy giggles forced themselves out of him.
"You'll see… Yes… I'll show you…" Longjing's voice trembled as he muttered airily to himself. "I will bring you home, my love~♡"