Chapter Text
She couldn’t breathe.
Tears streamed down her face as she screamed. The black mascara and eyeliner were meticulously put on by the makeup artists. Now, a black puddle clouding her vision and eyes.
She couldn’t breathe.
Her coaches ran to speak to her. Every single one of them. Eteri, Daniil, and Sergei. To lecture her. To tell her to behave. Hell, even one of the volunteers attempted to comfort her. But she couldn’t hear them over the voices in her head.
She couldn’t breathe.
Flash. Flash. Flash.
She tried hiding in the corner to no use. She knew every camera at the rink was watching her. The whole world was watching her. The whole world was watching Alexandra Trusova, the Russian Rocket. One-third of 3A. The silver medalist of the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics. The loser of the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics.
“You knew it. You knew about everything.”
“I hate this sport! I hate it. I will never go on the ice again.”
“Everyone has a gold medal. Everyone but me.”
She ripped her jacket off. Her stupid team Russia jacket. Eteri Tutberidze lied to her. They all lied to her. She was a disgrace. A disappointment to her country. To her family. Wiping the last tear on her face she entered the rink she just swore she would never enter again. Her name being called by the speakers. The silver medalist.
How dare they lie to her. How dare they give her false hope and belief. This was her moment. Her opportunity. Her only opportunity. Her expiration date was up.
The weird panda that substituted the silver medal laid heavy in her hands. Her eyes still fogged with tears as she turned to see her compatriot. She was jumping up and down. A bright smile laid across her face as she raised the panda above her head.
“There are no friends in figure skating,” her father would say to her, “only competition.”
She finally understood it. It was never real what she and Anna had. Because in a split of a second, they could take everything away from each other. Yet as Anna’s eyes sparkled and her smile beamed across the rink.
She couldn’t breathe.
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There was no way Sasha that day was going back to her and Anna’s room. Not after Anna didn’t even try to look at her. She didn’t even try to comfort her. Though to be fair she was yelling again the minute the cameras stopped rolling. But that hasn’t stopped Anna before from helping her.
“Maybe she thinks she’s too good for me now that she won gold,” Sasha’s head was against the van window as she thought to herself.
It took the coaches and staff many hours and manpower but they somehow got her on that van. It was long after the ceremony was over but Sasha was adamant that she was not going back to her room. Still sniffling from her crying, her phone screen lit up her corner of the van. Mark. His texts always made her feel better if there was a rough practice or bad competition. He would let her rant, comfort her, buy her favorite foods, and make her laugh. It worked every time. She smiled down at his text, quickly responding with a funny picture of her dog in response to his dog meme. He was charming, kind, sweet, and hot. Everything a girl could ask for. Maybe she could learn to love him.
Mark 💖: do you want to sleepover tn? ik u don’t want sleep with Anna. I’ll meet u at ur door?
Thank god for Mark. A quick reply later and they were already cuddling in his bed, watching Sasha’s favorite sappy rom-com to cheer her up. She tilted her head slightly off his chest to look up at his face. Dreamy eyes. Sharp jawline. High cheekbones. With his messy brown hair. God she really did want to love him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He doesn’t look away from the screen but added on a laugh.
“Nothing,” she smiled, “just enjoying your company,” as she returned to her place on his chest.
“Sasha,” her father turned to look at her in the backseat, “you’re going to become a champion here. I expect nothing less from you ok?”
“Yes father,” Sasha nodded, looking at her hands.
“Me and your mother are paying a lot of money to send you to this fancy academy. Eteri told us personally that she will train you to be the best. Don’t waste this opportunity. And remember, everyone in there is your competition. Be a winner today.”
“Of course, are you picking me up later today?”
“Yes, I’ll be picking you up tonight. I expect a positive report from you today. You’re going to be late. I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Bye,” she answered him, closing the car door and entering the facility.
She didn’t have facilities like these back in Ryazan. It was much bigger than any other place she had trained or competed at. She couldn’t count on one hand how many rinks Eteri had. State-of-the-art lockerooms. Equipped with personalized lockers for all of her skaters. Her own health professionals who cared for her skaters. Many studios for on-land training and workouts. Hundreds of pieces of gym equipment. God, it has got to be the most expensive place that her parents have sent her to yet. She was surprised they could even afford it. She must make it worth it, or it would be all her parents' money sent down the drain.
Her first day was going rather well. Her teachers introduced her to the other skaters, which just ended up with her giving a small smile to them before going into drills. None of them tried to talk to her, though a few stared in awe and shock when she was warming up. What could she say? Eteri wanted her for a reason. She was going to be an Olympic champion. She wanted to be one of the best skaters of her era, maybe of all time, if her body can keep it up.
“Alright, everyone,” Sergei clapped to get all the skaters’ attention, “let’s get some water. You all are going to do land training now since we are rotating groups.”
Skating to the edge of the rink, she sat down on a nearby bench before quickly unlacing her skates. Her fellow skaters in her group crowded around her, giving small smiles and nods at her. She was already put in one of the highest groups, even though most of the other skaters of this group were two or three years older than her.
(In her group that day was also Evgenia Medvedeva. Sasha’s idol. One of the people who motivated her to figure skate. She didn’t dare talk to her. Only return Evgenia’s smile when it was directed towards her. Even though she had a poster of her on her wall back home, she was still competition. Not a friend.)
Yet, she felt a pair of eyes staring at her from right next to her. Anna Shcherbakova. She was another one of Eteri’s prodigies. The only other skater in her group who was around the same age as her. Sasha was envious of how calm Anna seemed to be. No matter whether she made a mistake or not. Every time an edge was slightly off-balanced after a jump or a mistep in a step sequence, she would simply stand back up, brush off the ice chips, plaster a smile on her face, and try again. Anna’s artistry was truly unmatched. From the little skating she observed, Anna didn’t skate on the ice. She flew on the ice.
She looked up to meet Anna’s eyes, startling her as Anna’s face began to blush, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing.” Anna’s smile faded as she recognized Sasha’s serious tone, “You looked great on the ice today. I’m Anna.”
“Thank you,” she finally got her skates off, putting them in her bag, “I know who you are already. And you know me.”
She didn’t wait for Anna’s response, as she made her way over to the studio where their land training was that day. She wasn’t here to make friends. She needed to repeat that to herself. Because she knew deep down that if she grew attached, she wouldn’t know how to let go.