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Itadori Yuuji, I choose you!

Summary:

Being in Suguru's body felt weirdly natural now.

Not because Yuuji enjoyed it—absolutely not. The first few times had been a disaster involving an incident accidentally smacking Gojo sensei on the face (in which Suguru found it hilarious at the time), an attempt to chase a curse spirit through the forest (which Suguru finds annoying and scary at the same time on how fast Yuuji is), and one particularly embarrassing incident where he accidentally called Yaga "old man" to his face (at this point, Yuuji will be the one who will give Suguru a stomach cancer by how hard he makes him laugh). But after months of sharing a head with Geto Suguru, he'd gotten used to the mechanics.

Which was exactly why he marched straight past the training grounds and toward the dormitories.

"Where are you going?"

"To save your life."

"..."

"Or at least your digestive system."

Notes:

I suugest reading the first part of the series, since I will be publishing it in a chronological order.

Have fun reading!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Being accustomed to another Satoru incarnate in his head is no easy feat. For Suguru, it was a losing game.

 

Imagine having a Gojo Satoru on the outside yapping endlessly and an Itadori Yuuji on the inside of his damn head who was constantly commenting to every single thing he sees, hears, smells, feels, and tastes through all five senses Suguru has.

 

"Oh my god, this shit tastes disgusting. How the hell are you able to stomach this?!"

 

For example, right now.

 

Suguru does not need a second opinion on how the curses he eat tastes like rotten sewage. It's enough reminder it is. 

 

"This is more disgusting than eating Sukuna's fingers."

 

For Suguru's crumbling mental health, he decides to ignore Yuuji's comment about Ryomen Sukuna.

 

"Do you have any candy at least? I feel like I'm about to vomit. Urgh—"

 

Suguru immediately unwraps a candy given to him by Satoru and eat it to shut the entity yapping in his head. Heavens above whoever there is, he wishes he could at least separate this thing in his mind for just one, damn day.

 

"Stop overreacting. By the time you taste what I tasted, it's already diluted when it reaches you."

 

For a moment, Suguru thought that Yuuji managed to shut his mouth. That was until the barrage of yapping in his head became much worse.

 

"Diluted? Diluted?! Are you for real?! You're telling me this disgusting, rotten sewage full of shit from all organisms possible—oh a strawberry flavored candy—anyways, the flavor I'm already tasting is already filtered?! The hell?! You're about to have a stomach cancer or ulcer or something!"

 

Look, Suguru appreciate the thought of someone sympathizing with his misery, but can Yuuji tone it down a little?!

 

"Nope, this shit ain't happening. At this moment, I'm going to borrow your body for a while."

 

At this point, Suguru just gave his consent on Yuuji taking control of his body. He couldn't care less about the shame he's going to feel if everybody looked at him funny for having pink hair.

 

That wasn't going to be him. He's going to hide to the depth of his brain for all he cares.

 

Yuuji maneuvers his body more easily this time, making Suguru try not to remember all the shenanigans he did before Yuuji managed to give him back control of his body.

 


 

Being in Suguru's body felt weirdly natural now.

 

Not because Yuuji enjoyed it—absolutely not. The first few times had been a disaster involving an incident accidentally smacking Gojo sensei on the face (in which Suguru found it hilarious at the time), an attempt to chase a curse spirit through the forest (which Suguru finds annoying and scary at the same time on how fast Yuuji is), and one particularly embarrassing incident where he accidentally called Yaga "old man" to his face (at this point, Yuuji will be the one who will give Suguru a stomach cancer by how hard he makes him laugh). But after months of sharing a head with Geto Suguru, he'd gotten used to the mechanics.

 

Which was exactly why he marched straight past the training grounds and toward the dormitories.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"To save your life."

 

"..."

 

"Or at least your digestive system."

 

Suguru watched from the recesses of his own mind as Yuuji rummaged through every drawer, cabinet, and shelf in his room. The result was depressing.

 

One half-empty bag of candy.

 

Three expired instant noodles.

 

A mysterious can neither of them recognized.

 

"The hell is this?" Yuuji held up the can.

 

"I don't know."

 

"You don't know?"

 

"It appeared one day."

 

"You live like this?!"

 

The sheer horror in Yuuji's voice almost made Suguru laugh.

 

Almost.

 

"No wonder your mental health is collapsing. You eat curses for breakfast and apparently survive on sugar for the rest of the day."

 

"My mental health isn't collapsing."

 

There was a pause.

 

Then both of them burst into simultaneous laughter.

 

"Yeah, okay."

 

The laughter died quickly, but it left behind something lighter.

 

Not happiness exactly. But the constant weight pressing against his chest eased a little when Yuuji was around.

 

The idiot never seemed to realize it.

 

Or maybe he did.

 

Either way, Yuuji suddenly snapped his fingers.

 

"Right. Shopping."

 

"Shopping?"

 

"We're buying groceries."

 

"We?"

 

"Your body. My decision."

 

Suguru immediately regretted giving Yuuji control.

 

The trip into town was nothing short of exhausting.

 

Mostly because Yuuji treated every grocery store like a theme park.

 

"Oh my god, look at these tomatoes."

 

"They're tomatoes."

 

"They're beautiful."

 

"They're vegetables."

 

"They're beautiful vegetables."

 

Several elderly women ended up fussing over him because of his bright smile and cheerful attitude. One even gave him a discount coupon after he helped carry her basket.

 

Suguru was beginning to understand why Yuuji somehow made friends with everyone he just met.

 

It was a supernatural ability.

 

"Potatoes, carrots, onions..." Yuuji muttered as he pushed the cart through the aisles. "We're making curry."

 

"Curry?"

 

"Everyone likes curry."

 

The certainty in his voice made Suguru blink.

 

Yuuji continued tossing ingredients into the cart.

 

Chicken.

 

Vegetables.

 

Rice.

 

Milk.

 

Apples.

 

A mountain of snacks.

 

"Aren't you buying too much?"

 

"There's Gojo sensei's black card."

 

"..."

 

"Actually, never mind. We need more."

 

Another basket was acquired.

 

By the time they reached the register, the cashier looked mildly concerned by the amount of food being purchased by a single teenager.

 

Yuuji only grinned.

 

Back at Jujutsu High, he balanced several grocery bags in both hands while climbing the stairs.

 

The sun was beginning to set, painting the campus in shades of gold and orange. Students were returning from missions, conversations drifting through the air.

 

For a brief moment, everything felt peaceful.

 

Yuuji looked around and smiled.

 

"See? This is nice."

 

Suguru didn't answer immediately.

 

Watching through Yuuji's eyes, he saw familiar buildings, familiar people, and a future he was starting to stop believing in.

 

Yet somehow, through Yuuji's perspective, it all seemed possible again.

 

"...Yeah."

 

Yuuji's smile widened.

 

"Good. Now let's hurry before Gojo sensei smells the groceries and eats half of them raw."

 

For once, Suguru found himself completely agreeing.

 

The moment Yuuji stepped into the communal kitchen, he decided two things.

 

First, he was making curry.

 

Second, nobody in this era knew how to clean up after themselves.

 

"The hell happened here?" Yuuji muttered as he stared at the sink overflowing with dishes.

 

"Teenagers happened."

 

"That's not an answer."

 

"It is when Satoru exists."

 

"...Fair."

 

Yuuji couldn't even argue with that.

 

He set the grocery bags down and immediately got to work. Vegetables were washed, ingredients sorted, counters wiped clean. By the time he finished organizing everything, the kitchen looked significantly less like a battlefield.

 

Suguru watched the entire thing in silence.

 

"You know how to cook?"

 

"I know how to survive."

 

"..."

 

"Believe it or not, instant noodles aren't a sustainable diet."

 

The knife moved quickly through onions and carrots.

 

Rice was washed.

 

Chicken was prepared.

 

The curry had barely started simmering when the first victim arrived.

 

The kitchen door slid open.

 

Satoru poked his head inside.

 

The moment the smell hit him, his eyes widened.

 

"No way."

 

Yuuji immediately groaned.

 

"Go away."

 

Instead of leaving, Satoru entered fully and stared at him.

 

Or rather—

 

Stared at Suguru's body standing in front of the stove.

 

"You're cooking."

 

"Yes."

 

"Voluntarily?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Without being threatened?"

 

Yuuji slowly turned around.

 

"Gojo sen—Gojo-san, have you gone senile?"

 

Yuuji says that while pointing at his—Suguru's pink hair. But Satoru ignored him. 

 

"What?"

 

The white-haired sorcerer pointed dramatically.

 

"Guys! Suguru's cooking!"

 

Before Yuuji could stop him, Satoru had already sprinted into the hallway.

 

His voice echoed throughout the building.

 

"COME QUICK! SUGURU'S HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!"

 

"The hell?!"

 

Within minutes, footsteps approached.

 

Apparently nobody wanted to miss whatever disaster Satoru was describing.

 

The first to arrive was Shoko.

 

She stepped into the kitchen, cigarette hanging lazily from her lips.

 

Her eyes landed on the figure standing by the stove.

 

Then the organized ingredients.

 

Then the bubbling curry.

 

Then back to Suguru.

 

The silence stretched.

 

Finally—

 

"Did somebody blackmail you?"

 

"What?"

 

"Suguru cooking is somehow more concerning than Suguru summoning curses."

 

From inside their shared mind, Suguru immediately took offense.

 

"She's one to talk."

 

"Honestly, fair."

 

Before either of them could continue, another person entered.

 

Nanami.

 

A younger Nanami.

 

Alive.

 

The sight made Yuuji's hand tighten around the wooden spoon for half a second.

 

Only half a second.

 

But Suguru noticed.

 

The familiar ache immediately settled in Yuuji's chest.

 

Nanami wasn't covered in blood.

 

Wasn't smiling that tired smile.

 

Wasn't—

 

Alive.

 

Right.

 

He was alive.

 

Yuuji forced himself to focus on the present.

 

Nanami blinked once upon seeing the kitchen.

 

Then twice.

 

"...Geto-senpai?"

 

The confusion in his voice was genuine.

 

"You cook?"

 

The disbelief somehow sounded stronger than Shoko's.

 

Yuuji was beginning to understand Suguru's reputation.

 

Before anyone could answer, Haibara burst through the doorway.

 

"The smell is amazing—"

 

He stopped.

 

Stared.

 

Then gasped dramatically.

 

"GETO-SENPAI CAN COOK?!"

 

"Oh my god, not you too."

 

Haibara looked genuinely shocked.

 

"No, seriously!"

 

He pointed.

 

"You're the last person I'd expect to cook!"

 

"Says who?"

 

"Says everybody."

 

Unfortunately, nobody disagreed.

 

Even Nanami nodded.

 

Traitors. 

 

The entire room fell into suspicious silence.

 

Everyone continued staring.

 

Yuuji stared back.

 

"What?"

 

"..."

 

"What?!"

 

Shoko narrowed her eyes.

 

Then her gaze drifted upward.

 

To his hair.

 

Bright pink hair.

 

The silence lasted exactly three seconds.

 

Then realization hit.

 

"Oh."

 

Satoru immediately burst into laughter.

 

"OH!"

 

Haibara blinked.

 

Then blinked again.

 

"Ohhhhh!"

 

Nanami closed his eyes.

 

As if everything suddenly made sense.

 

"...It's Itadori."

 

"Thank you."

 

"That explains everything."

 

"Thank you."

 

Shoko pointed toward the stove.

 

"So the cooking."

 

"Mine."

 

"The cleaning."

 

"Mine."

 

"The organized ingredients."

 

"Mine."

 

"The fact that nobody has exploded yet."

 

"Also mine."

 

Satoru immediately wrapped an arm around Yuuji's shoulders.

 

Or tried to, if not for Yuuji avoiding it last minute like a cat. 

 

"I knew Suguru couldn't cook."

 

"I CAN COOK," Suguru snapped from inside his head.

 

"No, you can't," Yuuji replied automatically.

 

The entire room froze.

 

Because Yuuji had said it out loud.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

Yuuji slowly lowered the spoon.

 

"Oh right."

 

Haibara burst out laughing first.

 

Then Satoru.

 

Then, to Yuuji's surprise, even Shoko cracked a smile.

 

Nanami looked like he was questioning every life decision that led him here.

 

Meanwhile, deep inside his own head, Suguru contemplated throwing both himself and Yuuji into the nearest river.

 

The traitor couldn't even pretend to defend him.

 

"To be fair," Yuuji said, stirring the curry, "you had expired noodles older than me."

 

"I hate you."

 

"No, you don't."

 

"..."

 

"See? No denial."

 

Unfortunately, Yuuji was right. The brat has grown to him like a mushroom in the wild. 

 

"Oh, this is nice," Satoru declared, helping himself to a piece of carrot.

 

Yuuji smacked his hand away with the wooden spoon.

 

"Ow!"

 

"No stealing."

 

"You sound like a mom."

 

"You sound like a problem, Gojo-san."

 

Shoko snorted.

 

Nanami looked mildly impressed.

 

Haibara laughed loud enough to shake the windows.

 

The curry continued simmering as Yuuji moved around the kitchen with practiced ease.

 

Suguru watched him work.

 

He wasn't particularly graceful.

 

His knife skills weren't elegant.

 

He occasionally forgot where he put things.

 

Yet somehow the kitchen felt alive around him.

 

Warm.

 

Comfortable.

 

Homey.

 

The realization made Suguru uncomfortable.

 

"You're thinking too hard."

 

"Shut up."

 

"No."

 

"Please shut up."

 

"Nope."

 

The traitorous brat was getting harder to ignore every day.

 

"Can I help now?" Haibara asked for the nth time.

 

"No."

 

"What about now?"

 

"No."

 

"Now?"

 

"No."

 

Haibara looked heartbroken.

 

The expression lasted approximately three seconds.

 

Then he spotted the rice cooker.

 

"Ooh."

 

"No touching that."

 

"Aww."

 

Yuuji had barely turned back to the stove when he heard a familiar click.

 

The rice cooker lid popped open.

 

Silence.

 

Slowly, Yuuji turned around.

 

Haibara froze.

 

The rice cooker froze.

 

Everyone froze.

 

"Haibara-san."

 

"...Yes?"

 

"Step away from the rice."

 

Haibara immediately obeyed.

 

Smart choice.

 

The room erupted into laughter.

 

Even Nanami's shoulders shook slightly.

 

Yuuji almost missed it.

 

Almost.

 

Then he saw it.

 

The tiny smile.

 

Small.

 

Brief.

 

Gone in an instant.

 

His chest tightened.

 

Nanami had always smiled like that.

 

Not often.

 

Not loudly.

 

But when he did, it felt genuine.

 

The memory of another smile flashed through Yuuji's mind.

 

A tired smile.

 

A final smile.

 

A dead man's smile.

 

The spoon in his hand paused.

 

Just for a moment.

 

"Itadori."

 

Suguru's voice was unusually gentle.

 

"I'm fine."

 

"You flinched."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"You say that every time."

 

Yuuji didn't answer.

 

Because there wasn't really anything to say.

 

Instead, he focused on stirring the curry.

 

The scent of spices filled the room.

 

The sound of laughter pushed away old memories.

 

For now.

 

Just for now.

 

That was enough.

 

Then Satoru ruined everything.

 

"Hey~ Yuuji-kun."

 

"No."

 

"I didn't even say anything."

 

"If you're asking, the answer is no."

 

"What if I wanted to taste it?"

 

"No."

 

"What if I'm starving?"

 

"No."

 

"What if I die?"

 

"Then I'll attend your funeral."

 

It's not like it would be the first time but, eh. 

 

Satoru gasped dramatically.

 

"Shoko, did you hear that?"

 

"I'd help him bury you."

 

"Betrayal."

 

"That's not what betrayal means."

 

Nanami sighed while Haibara laughed.

 

The curry was finally done.

 

The rice was finished.

 

The kitchen smelled incredible and suddenly, four pairs of eyes locked onto him.

 

Yuuji took an uneasy step back.

 

"...Why are you all looking at me like that?"

 

"Food."

 

"I know."

 

"Serve it."

 

"Wait."

 

"Faster."

 

"...I don't get paid for this demand."

 

He grabbed a ladle before Satoru attempted a hostage negotiation.

 

Yuuji filled their bowls with rice, a huge chunk of curry poured generously on top. 

 

For a brief moment, the room fell silent.

 

Everyone stared at their meals.

 

Then they took their first bite.

 

The reaction was immediate.

 

Haibara's eyes widened.

 

Nanami stopped moving.

 

Shoko raised an eyebrow.

 

Even Satoru went quiet.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..." 

 

Yuuji suddenly felt nervous.

 

"Well?"

 

Haibara slammed both hands onto the table.

 

"THIS IS AMAZING!"

 

The shout nearly made Yuuji drop the pot.

 

Nanami nodded slowly.

 

"It's excellent."

 

Coming from Nanami, that was basically a standing ovation.

 

Shoko took another bite.

 

Then another.

 

Then another.

 

She pointed her spoon at him.

 

"If you ever stop being a curse, become a chef."

 

Yuuji laughed.

 

"That's not happening."

 

"Shame."

 

Then everyone looked toward Satoru.

 

Because somehow the strongest sorcerer in the room had gone completely silent.

 

Satoru stared at his bowl.

 

Then at Yuuji.

 

Then back at the bowl.

 

Finally—

 

"I'll make you my ward."

 

Yuuji chokes to something nonexistent. 

 

"What?"

 

"I've decided."

 

"Gojo sen—"

 

"You'll inherit everything I own."

 

"You own sunglasses and a problematic clan full of stucked up old men. No thank you."

 

"I'll still give them to you."

 

"I said no!" 

 

Yuuji buried his face in his hands.

 

Around him, laughter filled the room once again.

 

And for a fleeting moment, watching Nanami eat quietly beside Haibara, watching Shoko steal food from Satoru's bowl, watching Satoru complain about it dramatically—

 

Yuuji forgot.

 

Forgot about curses.

 

Forgot about death.

 

Forgot about the future waiting for all of them.

 

For one evening, they were just students sharing dinner together.

 

And maybe that was why the sight hurt so much.

 

Because Yuuji knew exactly how precious it was.

 

The meal continued amidst laughter, complaints, and Satoru attempting to steal from everybody's bowls.

 

Mostly everybody's bowls.

 

Because every time he reached toward Nanami's food, Nanami smacked his hand away.

 

Every single time.

 

It was honestly impressive.

 

Yuuji watched the chaos unfold from his seat at the table.

 

Or rather—

 

At Suguru's seat he's occupying. 

 

Because unlike everyone else, his bowl remained untouched.

 

The curry slowly cooled.

 

The rice sat undisturbed.

 

Nobody noticed at first.

 

Why would they?

 

Haibara was busy complimenting the food every other bite.

 

Shoko was stealing pieces of chicken from Satoru.

 

Satoru was filing complaints about said theft when he's the one who stole the most from others.

 

Nanami was quietly suffering.

 

Business as usual.

 

Yuuji looked down at the curry.

 

It smelled good.

 

Really good.

 

The kind of meal that would've had him cleaning the bowl spotless back in his time as a teen.

 

Instead, he simply stared.

 

A strange expression crossed his face.

 

Then he smiled a little, amused.

 

"Hey, Geto-san."

 

"What."

 

"You should eat."

 

There was a pause.

 

"What?"

 

"I said you should eat. I cooked for you after all."

 

Suguru immediately frowned.

 

"What kind of stupid statement is that?"

 

"The normal kind."

 

"You cooked it."

 

"So?"

 

"So you eat it first."

 

Yuuji leaned back in his chair.

 

"You're the one stuck eating curses every week."

 

"..."

 

"I think you've earned one decent meal."

 

For a moment, Suguru didn't answer.

 

The laughter around them seemed distant.

 

Muted.

 

Like it belonged to somebody else's world.

 

Suguru clicked his tongue, yet the familiar irritation lacked any real bite.

 

Because the idiot sounded sincere.

 

Entirely sincere.

 

Which somehow made it worse.

 

"You know, people usually eat food after cooking it themselves."

 

"People also don't share a brain with somebody else."

 

"...Fair."

 

The conversation ended there.

 

At least on the surface.

 

Because a few moments later, Yuuji stood from his chair.

 

Everyone looked up.

 

"Where are you going?" Haibara asked.

 

Yuuji stretched.

 

"Bathroom."

 

"You're not eating?"

 

"I'll be back."

 

Technically.

 

Not a lie.

 

Just not the whole truth.

 

The moment he stepped away from the table, Yuuji loosened his grip on control.

 

The transition happened smoothly now.

 

Months of practice had made it second nature.

 

Pink hair darkened.

 

Features shifted subtly.

 

Posture changed.

 

And suddenly—

 

Geto Suguru stood where Itadori Yuuji had been.

 

The first person to notice was Satoru.

 

Naturally.

 

His spoon stopped halfway to his mouth.

 

"...Oh."

 

The kitchen fell silent.

 

Not completely.

 

Just enough.

 

Enough for everyone to realize something had changed.

 

Haibara blinked.

 

Then blinked again.

 

"Geto-senpai?"

 

Nanami's eyes narrowed slightly.

 

Shoko immediately looked between Suguru and the untouched bowl.

 

Then understanding dawned.

 

"Seriously?"

 

Suguru already hated where this was going.

 

"What."

 

"He wanted you to eat first, didn't he?"

 

The silence answered for him.

 

Shoko sighed.

 

"That's ridiculously sweet."

 

"It's stupid."

 

"Same thing."

 

"It's not."

 

"It kind of is."

 

Suguru decided he disliked her significantly more today.

 

Across from him, Satoru was staring.

 

Not speaking.

 

Just staring.

 

Which was somehow worse.

 

"What."

 

"You bullied him."

 

"I did not."

 

"You emotionally manipulated him."

 

"Satoru, shut up."

 

Haibara looked between them excitedly.

 

"Wait, wait, so Itadori-san wanted Geto-senpai to eat first?"

 

"Apparently."

 

"That's so nice!"

 

Suguru immediately regretted sitting down.

 

The attention was unbearable.

 

Especially because they were all looking at him.

 

Waiting.

 

Watching.

 

As if he were some rare animal about to perform a trick.

 

"It's just food."

 

"Then eat it."

 

"It's just food."

 

"Then eat it."

 

Suguru glared at Shoko.

 

Shoko smiled.

 

The worst kind of smile.

 

Eventually, realizing he wasn't escaping this situation, Suguru picked up his spoon.

 

The curry was still warm.

 

The aroma rose with the steam.

 

Chicken.

 

Vegetables.

 

Spices.

 

Nothing unusual.

 

Just food.

 

Normal food.

 

A normal meal.

 

The first bite entered his mouth.

 

And—

 

Suguru froze.

 

The table immediately leaned forward.

 

Including Nanami.

 

Including Shoko.

 

Including Haibara.

 

Especially Satoru.

 

The traitors.

 

"...Well?" Satoru asked.

 

Suguru swallowed.

 

For a brief moment, he couldn't find the words.

 

Not because it tasted extraordinary.

 

Not because it was some life-changing culinary masterpiece.

 

It wasn't.

 

The curry was simple.

 

Comforting.

 

Warm.

 

Human.

 

The exact opposite of every curse he'd ever consumed.

 

The exact opposite of the bitterness that seemed permanently lodged in his mouth.

 

"...It's good."

 

The room exploded.

 

Haibara cheered.

 

Satoru threw both arms into the air.

 

Nanami actually smiled.

 

Shoko looked unbearably pleased with herself.

 

And somewhere in the back of his mind, Yuuji laughed.

 

"Only good?"

 

"Don't push your luck."

 

Yuuji's laughter only grew louder.

 

For the first time in a long while, Suguru didn't mind hearing it. Not when the taste of actual food still lingered on his tongue.

 

Not when the people around him were laughing.

 

Not when, for one fleeting evening, the world felt simple.

 

Tonight, there was only curry...and shenanigans. 

 


 

The curry disappeared much faster than Yuuji had anticipated.

 

Or rather, much faster than Suguru had anticipated.

 

Apparently, giving Satoru access to unlimited funds and unlimited appetite was a dangerous combination.

 

Which was how they somehow ended up with enough desserts to feed an entire classroom.

 

"Why is there so much?" Nanami asked.

 

Satoru looked offended.

 

"What kind of question is that?"

 

"There are six cakes."

 

"Correct."

 

"There are only five people here."

 

"Incorrect."

 

Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

"You're counting yourself twice."

 

"As I should."

 

Unfortunately, nobody could argue with the logic.

 

The table was covered with cakes, pudding, dango, ice cream, and enough sweets to make Suguru question his life choices.

 

"Who paid for all this?" Haibara asked.

 

Satoru grinned.

 

"My black card."

 

"...That makes sense."

 

The desserts were distributed accordingly.

 

Satoru immediately claimed ownership of two cakes, yet Shoko managed to steal one as Haibara looked delighted with everything. 

 

Nanami, meanwhile, looked concerned at his own health. 

 

As the conversation drifted from topic to topic, it eventually landed on a certain pink-haired curse.

 

"So," Haibara began, pointing his spoon at Suguru. "How's Itadori-san doing?"

 

Suguru immediately regretted being asked.

 

"He won't shut up."

 

"Hey!"

 

The protest echoed inside his head.

 

"He asked."

 

"You make me sound terrible."

 

"You are a terrible roommate."

 

"I cooked for everyone."

 

"..."

 

Haibara laughed.

 

"He's talking right now, isn't he?"

 

"Unfortunately."

 

"Hey!"

 

Shoko rested her chin on one hand.

 

"Honestly, I still can't believe it."

 

"What?"

 

"The fact that there's an actual curse living inside your head."

 

"Excuse me?" Yuuji sputtered.

 

"See?" Suguru said.

 

"Rude."

 

Satoru leaned back in his chair, his face goofy. 

 

"I still want to meet him."

 

"No, you don't."

 

"Yes, I do."

 

"No, you don't."

 

"Yes, I do."

 

The argument continued for several minutes.

 

Eventually, Nanami spoke up.

 

"Actually."

 

The table went quiet and everyone turned toward him.

 

Nanami frowned thoughtfully.

 

"If Itadori-san is technically a curse that Geto-senpai swallowed..."

 

Suguru suddenly didn't like where this was going.

 

"...then shouldn't it be possible to summon him?"

 

Silence.

 

The entire table froze.

 

Even Yuuji stopped talking.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

Haibara blinked.

 

"Oh."

 

Shoko blinked.

 

"Oh."

 

Satoru sat upright.

 

"Oh."

 

Suguru sighed.

 

"I already tried."

 

Everyone deflated at that.

 

"You did?"

 

"Several times."

 

"Nothing happened?"

 

"Nothing."

 

Nanami looked thoughtful.

 

"Hm."

 

Inside his head, Yuuji suddenly snorted before laughing. 

 

Then laughed harder as if he was about to cough his lungs out at how he was wheezing like an animal inside Suguru's head.

 

"What?"

 

"I just had the dumbest thought."

 

Suguru immediately regretted asking.

 

"Do not."

 

Yuuji ignored him. 

 

"What if I'm like Mahoraga?"

 

Suguru went silent.

 

"...What."

 

"You know."

 

"No I do not know and I don't want to know."

 

"The Ten Shadows thing from Zen'in."

 

"There is no Ten Shadows thing."

 

"Whatever. Hypothetically."

 

Yuuji sounded entirely too entertained, far too entertained despite Suguru's imminent headache.

 

"What if I need a summoning phrase?"

 

... 

 

"A what?"

 

"A keyword."

 

Suguru had a look on his face that his friends couldn't name, but it was still funny. 

 

"That's stupid."

 

"It is."

 

"That's incredibly stupid and cringey."

 

"It really is."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"What keyword?"

 

Yuuji immediately burst into laughter at Suguru's surrender.

 

"I don't know!"

 

Unfortunately, the laughter was contagious, making Suguru perk his lips upward. 

 

A part of Suguru wanted to dismiss it entirely.

 

The other part remembered that Yuuji's existence was already absurd enough that a keyword somehow wouldn't be the strangest thing involved.

 

"Suguru?" Satoru asks him when he noticed his expression. 

 

"What are you smiling into space for?"

 

"Nothing."

 

Which was a lie.

 

A terrible lie.

 

Because Suguru was already gathering cursed energy.

 

A lot of cursed energy.

 

Far more than he usually used for summoning.

 

The room immediately noticed making Nanami flinch and stand up, Shoko lowered her spoon while Haibara blinked in confusion as to why Suguru is gathering cursed energy. 

 

Meanwhile, Satoru just raised his eyebrows at him. 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"Don't you all dare laugh."

 

That was the only warning they got.

 

Cursed energy surged through the room. The air around them trembled and the lights flickered above them. 

 

Everyone instinctively prepared themselves. Even Satoru looked surprised by the amount of power being gathered.

 

Then, Suguru spoke.

 

"With this spectre I summon!" 

 

Very clearly.

 

Very deliberately.

 

Very cringey. 

 

"Itadori Yuuji, I choose you!" 

 

Nothing happened.

 

For one second.

 

"Man, why would you summon him like a pokemon—" 

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Then—

 

A bright flash of cursed energy exploded from directly in front of the table, and something shot out of it.

 

Something human-shaped.

 

Something screaming.

 

"WHAAAAAAAAA—"

 

THUD.

 

Said something landed on his face, directly on the floor might Suguru add, and the room fell silent at the presence of another who crash landed pitifully. 

 

The curse—the boy—groaned in pain at having his face meeting the floor. 

 

Then, he raised his face, his forehead turning red as an imaginary bump appears on it. He looked at them with teary eyes as he winced from the pain. 

 

"...Ow."

 

Nobody moved, spoke, or even breathed loudly. 

 

The boy—Yuuji— looked around. He saw the table full of desserts, and the people who are looking at him with dumbfounded expressions, especially Suguru. 

 

"...Uh."

 

Haibara pointed very slowly, as if he couldn't still believe what just happened.

 

"He was summoned."

 

"Apparently," Nanami said.

 

Shoko stared, and so does Satoru and Suguru

 

Yuuji rubbed his forehead before immediately pointing his finger at Suguru accusingly.

 

"IN MY DEFENSE, I DIDN'T THINK THAT WOULD ACTUALLY WORK! AND WHY WOULD YOU SUMMON ME LIKE A DAMN POKÉMON?!"

 

The kitchen erupted into absolute chaos and Haibara was the first one to move.

 

Which was a mistake.

 

Because the moment Yuuji realized an overexcited, breathing Haibara was charging toward him at full speed, he immediately scrambled backward.

 

"WHOA, WHOA, PERSONAL SPACE!"

 

Haibara skidded to a stop before crouching like an excited kid then he stared.

 

Yuuji stared back.

 

Haibara continued staring.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"You have really pink hair."

 

"That's the first thing you say?! And it's my natural hair color!"

 

"It is really pink."

 

Yuuji looked at Nanamin, asking for salvation.

 

"Nanamin, help me."

 

Nanami took a bite of cake and stared at Yuuji impassively, effectively ignoring the name he called him.

 

"No."

 

Yuuji simply gasped, imaginatively turning into a concrete before having the tip of his face chip away. 

 

Meanwhile, Satoru was having what could only be described as a religious experience.

 

The strongest sorcerer in the room appeared behind Yuuji.

 

Then beside him.

 

Then behind him again.

 

Then upside down somehow (how the fuck).

 

Yuuji didn't know how he was doing that. And frankly, he didn't want to know.

 

"This is amazing."

 

"Get out of my face, Gojo sen—san."

 

"I can see you."

 

"Congratulations."

 

"I can hear you."

 

"Congratulations."

 

Satoru gasped, finding everything hilarious.

 

"He has Suguru's sarcasm."

 

"I spent months lazing around in his head."

 

"That's fair."

 

Shoko was next. Unlike Satoru and Haibara, she simply walked over and tried to poke Yuuji's cheek.

 

Yuuji froze when Shoko's finger simply passed through. 

 

"..."

 

She tried to poke him again.

 

"..."

 

A third time.

 

"Stop."

 

"Interesting."

 

Yuuji immediately understood why Suguru found her annoying at times.

 

The woman was impossible.

 

Across the table, Suguru looked oddly vindicated.

 

Nanami stood then, and the room gradually quieted as Yuuji instinctively looked toward him.

 

And froze.

 

Because now that he wasn't seeing Nanami through someone else's eyes—

 

Now that he was standing right there—

 

The difference was impossible to ignore.

 

This Nanami was younger.

 

Less tired.

 

His shoulders weren't weighed down by years of responsibility.

 

There were no scars.

 

No exhaustion.

 

No lingering grief hidden behind his eyes.

 

Just a teenager.

 

A normal teenager.

 

For a second, Yuuji forgot how to breathe.

 

The memory came uninvited.

 

A ruined station.

 

Blood.

 

A final conversation.

 

A final smile.

 

His throat tightened.

 

Nanami frowned.

 

"...Itadori-san?"

 

Yuuji blinked, and the memory shattered like a thousand glass.

 

"Oh."

 

His voice cracked slightly, barely noticeable.

 

"I'm good, Nanamin."

 

Nanami's frown deepened and Yuuji immediately looked away.

 

Suguru noticed the act. Of course he noticed.

 

He always noticed.

 

But thankfully, he didn't say anything.

 

The awkward moment was mercifully destroyed by Satoru.

 

"So this means you can summon him whenever you want?"

 

"No."

 

"Every other day?"

 

"No."

 

"Every other week?"

 

"No."

 

"Every other—"

 

"No."

 

Satoru looked at Suguru, and Suguru looked at Satoru in return.

 

"No."

 

The synchronized answer was deeply concerning.

 

Yuuji then turned to look at Suguru who was having a staring contest with his best friend, a realization hitting him. 

 

"...Wait, Geto-san."

 

"What."

 

"How much cursed energy did that take?"

 

The room went quiet.

 

Suguru immediately looked away and Yuuji narrowed his eyes as if he caught a child stealing candy.

 

"Geto-san."

 

"What."

 

"How much?"

 

"It wasn't that much."

 

"How much."

 

"..."

 

"Geto-san."

 

"...A lot."

 

"A lot?"

 

"A reasonable amount."

 

This time, it was Satoru who chides him. 

 

"Suguru."

 

"Fine."

 

The curse user sighed, muttering under his breath incomprehensible words before answering.

 

"It was roughly equivalent to summoning several grade one curses."

 

The entire room paused.

 

Yuuji stared.

 

Haibara stared.

 

Nanami stared.

 

Even Shoko looked surprised.

 

Satoru immediately burst into laughter.

 

"YOU USED THAT MUCH ENERGY TO SUMMON HIM?!"

 

"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD WORK!"

 

Yuuji slammed both hands onto the table.

 

"YOU USED SEVERAL GRADE ONE CURSES WORTH OF ENERGY FOR A THEORY?!"

 

"IT WAS YOUR THEORY!"

 

"IT WAS A JOKE!"

 

Haibara nearly fell out of his chair from laughing too hard.

 

Shoko was openly smiling.

 

Even Nanami looked suspiciously close to laughing.

 

Satoru was outright crying and laughing like a madman.

 

The laughter somehow got louder at how contagious Satoru's ugly laughing and wheezing is.

 

Then Yuuji noticed something, like something twinkle in his peripheral vision.

 

The desserts are still sitting on the table, most of them untouched.

 

His eyes widened, and he could hear the angels singing and blowing their trumpets at him. 

 

Yuuji inched closer and everyone is seeing it happen in real time.

 

"Uh," Suguru trails immediately.

 

"Yes."

 

"I haven't even said anything."

 

"Yes."

 

"Itadori."

 

Yuuji grabbed a slice of cake.

 

Or at least, tried to.

 

Sadly, his hand simply passed straight through it.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

Yuuji stared at his hand.

 

Then the cake.

 

Then back to his hand.

 

Then to the cake again.

 

Haibara blinked.

 

"Oh."

 

Shoko blinked.

 

"Oh."

 

Nanami blinked.

 

"Oh."

 

Satoru pointed and laughed again so hard he nearly choked.

 

"You can't touch it, let alone eat it!"

 

The realization hit Yuuji like a truck, a dumpster truck to be exact.

 

He had finally gotten his own body.

 

He had been summoned into reality.

 

There was an entire table of desserts.

 

And he couldn't eat any of them.

 

The scream of despair that followed could reportedly be heard from three buildings away.

 

"Unsummon me! Right now! Switch with me for a while! GETO-SAN! DON'T EVEN RUN AWAY YOU—" 

 

 

Notes:

Next work for this will be the hidden inventory arc. Lemme try writing some full blown angst for this fandom now—