Work Text:
“Because my love for you is beyond words, I decided to shut up.”
They were eight years old, playing on the swings in their local park; the watchful eyes of their parents upon them.
"Barry? Do you love me?"
Her brown eyes were inquisitive and sincere.
"Of course I love you Iris. You're my best friend."
Her face lit up with joy.
"But how much do you love me Barry?"
Barry thought for a moment. He looked around the park. A small boy sitting in the corner greedily stuffing his face with candies caught his eye. Barry giggled.
"I love you as much as that boy loves candy."
Iris giggled too, and seemingly satisfied with this answer, continued to play.
******************************************
They were thirteen years old, sitting on opposite ends of the table in Joe's dining room. Barry's head was determinedly buried in a text book, but Iris's eyes were on him. She had broken the telescope his father had given to him before he was sent to prison. She hadn't meant to, and it was killing her to see him so hurt, so angry at her. He didn't say it, but she could feel it.
"Barry?"
He didn't look up, but she knew he had heard her.
"Barry do you still love me?"
He heard her voice break and quickly looked up. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, the sorries she had said so many times written all over her face. His anger melted away and he rushed over to her side and pulled her into a hug.
"Of course I still love you Iris. You're my best friend."
She seemed unsure of this and pulled away from the hug, wiping at her eyes.
"Are you sure Barry? I hurt you really bad."
He thought of the telescope she had broken, that had allowed him to look far out into distant space.
"I love you to the moon Iris. Now stop crying".
He pulled her back into a hug.
***************************************************
They were sixteen and sitting on the steps of the porch as they did most nights. Iris was leaning on his shoulder, her cheeks tear stained. She had just broken up with her first boyfriend.
"Do you think anyone will ever love me Barry?"
Her voice was small, and lacked its usual playfulness.
"Of course they will Iris. You're you." He paused. "Besides, I love you."
She nudged him playfully.
"I know you love me Barry. But I'm talking about someone loving me, you know, in that way."
Barry sighed inwardly. She didn't understand that he already did.
"One day Iris, you are going to meet someone who will love you for the totally amazing person that you are."
"But for now", he added jokingly. "You will just have to be satisfied with my love for you."
She huddled in a little closer.
"You're so sweet Barry. You always know what to say."
He looked up at the full moon that night and pulled her closer to him.
"That's because I love you to the moon Iris. And onward."
*************************************************************
They were eighteen and off to college in two different cities. It would be the first time they would be apart from each other for so long. Joe had decided to throw them a joint farewell party at the house. An hour into the party he had noticed she had gone missing. He found her in her room sitting on the bed and looking at a picture of the two of them. She looked up and smiled when she heard him come in.
"Hey Bear. Come to join me?"
She shifted on the bed to make room for him. They both looked at the picture in silence. Iris sniffed.
"You know what the weird thing is Bear. I love my dad, but the person I'm going to miss the most is you. I mean, not seeing you every day..."
She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. But he understood.
"I'll miss you too Iris."
"But," he continued, trying to lighten the mood. "It's the 21st century. We have FaceTime. And 4K resolution screens. It's gonna be like my ugly face is right there in the room with you!"
She laughed as she wiped her eyes.
"But are you going to love me the same Barry, even when I'm not with you? Will I be replaced?" She tried, and failed to make it sound lighthearted.
"Impossible Iris. You're my best friend."
"But you know what they say," she replied sadly. "Out of sight, out of mind".
He shook his head at her as if her comment was absurd.
"You don't have to worry Iris. I will think of you every day. And I will love you more with each passing one". He paused. "I personally prefer the saying, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' ".
She smiled and hugged him.
"Aw Barry. I love you too".
But not in that way, he thought.
********************************************************
They were in their twenties now. College was long finished and the working world had beckoned. Being millennials they had both been drawn back to their home city. They had just come out of the cinema and were walking arm in arm under the star lit night.
"How are things going with Eddie?" He asked.
He felt her flinch by his side.
"That's over now," she said simply.
"What happened?" he replied, sounding genuinely concerned.
Iris stopped walking and looked at him.
"Well I think he kind of got the sense that my heart wasn't really in it."
"I thought you loved him Iris."
"I did. But there are different levels of love Barry. Yes I loved Eddie. But he felt like I couldn't, like I wouldn't give him all the love I had to offer."
They carried on walking in silence. Then she stopped and looked at him again, shyly this time.
"And I figured out that it was because I had already given it to someone else."
He looked down at her beautiful face, made even more so by the star light.
"What are you saying?"
"Im saying, Barry, that I love you. I don't know how it has crept up on me, but I do. More than I have ever loved anyone in my life. More than I have ever loved you even. Because of course I've always loved you Barry, since we were kids. But not like this. Never like this. Because right now Barry, I love you so much that it hurts."
Barry couldn't help the small smile that played across his lips.
"Welcome to my world."
*****************************************
They were thirty now, sitting at the sweetheart table at their wedding reception. They looked out at the many family and friends that had gathered together especially for them. Joe sat at the first table, whispering and laughing with Cecile. He caught Iris' eye and winked at his baby girl. Jessie and Wally were on the dance floor with all the other young people. Harry was standing by the bar chatting amiably with Oliver and Felicity. Cisco was also on the dance floor, doing some crazy dance, flicking his hair and his head from side to side while Caitlin watched adoringly. Iris remembered a conversation she had had with Barry in a club many years ago. She nudged him.
"Mr Allen? You broke your promise."
Barry's face looked confused for a few seconds until he registered where iris was looking. He laughed and kissed her cheek tenderly.
"Well I can assure you, Mrs West-Allen, that that will be the first and last promise to you I will ever break."
Her heart swelled so much with the love she felt for this amazing man in front of her that she feared it would explode.
"I love you Bear. So so much." Because how else could she try to make him understand the depth of her love. The words had not yet been invented.
She leaned in to kiss him.
"I love you too baby."
She smiled mischievously into the kiss.
"But how much do you love me Bear?"
For the first time in their lives he could not think of the words to quantify just how much he loved this woman. This woman who was forever his world. To try and describe how much he felt for her seemed impossible now, seemed almost insulting to his feelings. He looked at her with all the love he could muster, trying to make her see. Then he shrugged, shook his head and smiled.
"I guess I love you as much as Barry Allen can love Iris West."