Chapter Text
“Uncle Shane has a boyfriend”
That was the first thing Hayden heard when he opened the front door on one particularly boring Tuesday. His mind immediately went blank. Say what now. He looked down where Ruby was looking at him demandingly. His mind spiraled but he knew that he had to say something. What came out of his mouth was
“Oh, what makes you say that honey?”
Not the best response, but he was so confused about the statement Ruby had said confidently, like a matter of fact.
“He told me and he also said it is a secret. But you tell us if adults ask you to keep a secret you don´t.”
Goddam. He and Jackie were too good. They had always told their kids to never keep secrets if adults told them to keep something between them. And part of him was proud that the lesson had definitely gone through to her. But he wished sometimes kids had the same situational awareness as adults. He wanted to keep them safe from abuse, not spill all his friends secrets. Also he was still quite confused about the statement since Shane was dating Lily. He decided to get confirmation.
“Are you sure Shane said boyfriend. I’m not saying I don’t believe you sweetie. Daddy is just confused since he thinks Shane has a girlfriend.”
“Uh huh. He said boy. He was texting someone and I asked about it. And he said no one. But I didn’t believe it. So he told me and made me promise to keep it a secret.”
Okay. So it was true. Probably, one can never be absolutely sure with kids. Shane had a boyfriend. Shane liked men. His best friend was gay. It was obviously completely okay with him. Hayden wasn’t a homophobe. He was just confused that Shane hadn’t told him. And sad. He deserved to clout about this new boyfriend like everyone else who is in love and in the honeymoon phase. But he didn’t because he was probably scared. That broke Hayden's heart.
“Okay sweetie let’s sit down”
They sat on the couch and Hayden took Ruby in his arms.
“Thank you for telling me that. I want to say first you are not in trouble. But we need to talk about what you just told me. You absolutely need to tell me if an adult makes you keep a secret you feel uncomfortable with. But what we meant by that was if someone does something inappropriate to you or makes you do something you don’t like. If some adult tells you a secret about their own personal life you don’t always have to tell us. You can if you feel confused or uncomfortable, but if not you don’t need to. Adults are also entitled to privacy and you telling me that kinda violated Uncle Shane's privacy. Did that secret make you uncomfortable or anything sweetie?”
“No it did not, I just thought I had to tell you”
“Yes honey that is on me for not making it clear to you. You did nothing wrong. But I need you to promise to not tell anyone else about it.”
“But why? Isn’t that a happy thing”
“Yes of course. But Uncle Shane is a celebrity and he needs to be able to tell everyone when he wants. We don’t want the press or media to find out before that.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell Ruby that Shane was also a pro in the probably most homophobic sport there is. And that not everyone would take the news well.
Ruby just nodded and hugged Hayden. He hugged her back and took her to bed. As he tugged her in and kissed her goodnight his mind was going a million miles an hour.
He walked back down the stairs and opened a beer. As he sat on the couch he kept thinking about what to do next. A part of him wanted to tell Jackie. But he was just preaching to Ruby about not breaking someone's trust. He couldn't do that to Shane. But he had to do something. He decided to text Shane and ask him to come over. The kids were asleep and Jackie was having a girls night. That meant she would probably crawl home well after midnight wine drunk with some takeout in hand.
“Hey buddy. Wanna come over for a while. Jackie is out and would love some company.”
The answer came in a few minutes.
“Yeah sure. I’ll be there in 15. Should I bring something?”
“No need, see u soon!”
Hayden sat on the couch and fiddled nervously. In exactly 15 minutes the doorbell rang. He got up and opened the door. He hugged Shane and welcomed him in. For some reason he looked different. Was Hayden a homophobe after all? Did he really think Shane was a different person now? He shrugged those thoughts off and they sat on the couch. He offered Shane a beer like always, and he declined like always.
“Soo I actually wanted to talk to you about something”
Oh God. That was the worst possible opening. Hayden was so bad at this. He could see Shane looking confused.
“Yeah sure, what is it about man?”
Hayden took a deep breath and answered.
“Ruby told me something earlier. Something you had told her and made her promise it was a secret” Hayden could see Shane go pale and his breathing quicken. Oh no. He needed to explain more. “It’s not like she is a gossip. We have just told her to always tell us if an adult makes her keep a secret. Just you know, because of molesters and everything.”
He thought that would clear it up for Shane. Apparently it didn’t because he was crying now.
“Hayden I need you to believe me when I say I have never done anything inappropriate to the kids. I love them like my own. I would never ever do something like that. I only told Ruby to keep a secret because I was scared of exactly this. I’m gay Hayden. And I’m sorry about that but it doesn’t make a perv and you need to believe me…” He was spiraling hard.
Hayden’s heart broke. Into a million pieces. His best friend was begging him to believe something that was so clear to him that he had never even thought about it. He didn’t know what to do. So he pulled Shane into a tight hug.
“Stop that. Please. I need to tell you that is absolutely not what I meant with that. I know that you love them. And I love you. You are the one person I would always trust with the kids. To keep them safe and love them like we do. I was just trying to explain why Ruby told us. Not accuse you. I would never. Because I know you would never.”
He broke the hug and looked his best friend in the eye. Shane looked slightly relieved but tears were still falling from his eyes. Hayden wiped them away and continued.
“And also the gay thing. I don’t care about that. I just want you to be happy and I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. I love you and I’m so happy that you have found someone. You deserve it man”
That seemed to get through to Shane. He pulled Hayden into a hug and whispered “Thank you”. They just sat like that for a long time comforting each other. When Shane finally pulled apart, Hayden would not be the first to break that hug no way, he was kinda smiling.
“I’m so glad you know now. Even if it was not the way I planned to tell you.”
“Yeah me too.”
There was a comfortable silence in the living room. Hayden was looking at Shane and suddenly he got an overwhelming urge to cry.
“Did you think that I would not accept you?”
“Well to be honest…I didn’t want to believe so but I just couldn’t help but wonder. You know how many hockey players are.”
“Yeah I’m so sorry. I just want you to know that I love you and support you. And I’m sorry for not standing up to all those jerks telling homophobic jokes.”
“It’s fine man. I know how hard it is, I haven’t done that either.”
“Yeah”
Another silence fell between them until Shane broke it.
“Can I tell Jackie myself, please”
“Ofcourse! But please do it soon, you know I’m terrible at lying to her”
“That you are” Shane answered with a laugh.