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Yoshiki keeps close to Hikaru, fear settling in his chest at the sight of all the remaining players.
His only anchor keeping him away from madness is his friend, whose hand he’s holding tightly in his hand.
“Hikaru…” he whispers, his voice barely audible. It’s a surprise the other even heard him.
The boy gently squeezed his hand to make his presence clear.
The room is white and empty, except for the people standing threateningly near the couple.
“Players, welcome to the fourth game”
It’s already the fourth. Yoshiki is surprised by how long he has managed to survive.
Even if it’s not thanks to him. The only reason he’s still alive is Hikaru.
The boy kept Yoshiki as his first priority, risking his life over and over to make sure he was safe.
“For this game, you’ll be playing in teams of two. Please look around and find someone you wish to play with”
The choice seems obvious to Hikaru: Yoshiki. He has to make sure the boy survives. How could he prevent his death if he wasn’t with him?
Still, just by looking at his friend’s face, he can tell they aren’t thinking the same thing.
Yoshiki’s shaking. Of course he wants to choose Hikaru, but something inside tells him not to team up together.
“When two people agree to play together, shake hands to show you have become partners”
Yoshiki lets go of Hikaru’s hand, not wanting the action to be mistaken as them shaking hands.
He has to think about this.
The robotic voice repeats the rules once again, while the dark-haired boy can feel tears threatening to appear and stain his cheeks.
“Hey, why’d you let go of my hand?” Hikaru says, almost offended by the action.
On the wall, a timer goes off.
“I don’t understand… Don't you want to team up with me?”
They’re sitting on the stairs, Yoshiki a few steps ahead of Hikaru, who’s staring at the boy’s head.
“Of course I do, but something feels off… what if I have to play against you?” Yoshiki turns around to see Hikaru.
“They said we’ll be playing as a team, so it’ll probably be us against another pair”
The way he says it — so casually, as if it’s normal to play to keep living — irritates Yoshiki.
Hikaru would be a liar if he says he hasn’t thought about it, but he also doesn’t want to scare Yoshiki even more.
People approach Hikaru, asking him to pair up. The boy denies every single one.
“Hikaru, maybe you should—“ Yoshiki’s sentence is left unfinished, as an older man (probably in his 40s) grabs Hikaru’s hands.
Yoshiki immediately lounges forward, making the man let go of his grip on his friend.
“Please, team up with me.. I’ve seen you play, and I’m sure we could be a better team than you two together!” While saying the last sentence, he looks briefly at Yoshiki.
The boy should feel offended after being called weak, but he knows it’s true.
In all the other games, he had received Hikaru’s help.
It’s not surprising that now everyone wants to team up with the white-haired boy, after he managed to keep both himself and another person alive.
Hikaru stares at Yoshiki.
“I’m sorry, but I want to team up with my friend” saying ‘friend’ hurts more than it should, somehow.
The man looks betrayed.
“You don’t understand! There’s no way I can survive without your help”
Hikaru’s face now has a serious expression.
“So you’re saying I should abandon my best friend for a man I’ve never seen before? Just leave. It’s your fault that you’re weak”
Hikaru, sitting on those stairs, looks almost like a prince.
“It’s not fair! He’s even weaker than me! Leave him, not me”
The man looks at Yoshiki.
Hikaru doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel.
He slaps the man, before moving closer to Yoshiki, who’s still staring back at the man with his eyes full of surprise.
The man finally leaves.
“Don’t worry. I’ll always choose you”
As much as Yoshiki likes feeling Hikaru’s skin against his, he’s not happy that it’s their hands that are touching, making them a team.
The place where they are going to play looks like a normal street, where kids would meet to play together.
But Yoshiki and Hikaru aren’t kids anymore, and they haven’t been for a while.
A guard approaches the two of them, still holding hands.
Once they stop, it’s just the three of them.
The guard is looking at them — or at least is facing their direction.
“Players, please take one bag each from the staff member before you”
Once the communication is over, the guard holds up two small bags, a sound reaching their ears as the bags get lifted.
“There should be a set of marbles in each bag. Please check to confirm the number”
Hikaru is the first one to let go to take the bag. Yoshiki follows him right after.
The marbles seem familiar, bringing back memories of when they used to play together as kids.
A harsh reminder that they chose to stop being kids.
Ten marbles are now in Yoshiki’s hand.
“In this game, using your set of ten marbles, you will play the game of your choice with your partner”
It takes a while for Yoshiki to realize what has just been said, but his eyes still fill up with tears as if it’s an instinct.
Hikaru is smiling, looking at Yoshiki with eyes filled with an emotion he still can’t name.
Or more correctly, didn’t want to name until this moment.
Yoshiki turns around to look at Hikaru, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Hikaru…”
The boy in question laughs, but there’s nothing funny about this situation.
He runs a hand through his hair — messy from all the games they’ve played.
“You were right! I mean, you always are, but for once I hoped you weren’t!”
Yoshiki is sobbing.
“Hikaru I— I don’t want to play with you!”
“We don’t have to play now, right?” Hikaru looks over at the guard, who just points at the timer on the wall.
30 minutes.
Yoshiki doesn’t move, only crying harder.
He can’t live without Hikaru, but he’d also never imagined what dying would be like.
Which one would hurt most? A gunshot, or heartbreak?
Hikaru sits next to Yoshiki, removing his bangs from his tired eyes.
“They’re gonna get all sticky because of your tears, otherwise”
That’s the reasoning he gives.
This scene is too familiar. Even after all his attempts to erase the memory, Yoshiki still thinks of the night they ran away.
Hikaru seems to remember it too, as he starts speaking to fill the silence between them.
“Y’know, all this-“ Hikaru gestures with his hand, abusing Yoshiki to lift his head.
“-reminds me of when we left Kubitachi”
The feeling in his chest is the same. Blaming himself for causing Yoshiki to cry.
That’s probably when he realized that maybe, just maybe, they could’ve been more. He wouldn’t have minded.
“I still am sorry for making you cry, by the way”
Yoshiki chuckles.
“That’s what you’re sorry for? Not for pushing the poor woman?”
Hikaru shrugs.
“She was super rude to you. I didn’t even mean to push her, it just happened”
Silence falls once again.
“Do you miss Kubitachi?”
Yoshiki shakes his head. Of course he misses his family and his friends, but that place was never his home. His home was with Hikaru.
“I’d like to be myself, but that wouldn’t have happened there. I would’ve left either way, I’m just glad you came with me”
His head almost automatically lands on Hikaru’s shoulder.
“Once you leave, please be yourself.” Hikaru isn’t sure now what Yoshiki means, but he’s not going to question it.
“I’m not leaving without you” Yoshiki lifts his head, staring right at his friend’s face.
“You’re not dying here today. I won’t let it happen. If you’ll die tomorrow, that’s fine, but I don’t want you to die because of me” Now it’s Hikaru’s turn to cry.
He’s already killed a person, but they weren’t Yoshiki. He would never be able to forgive himself if Yoshiki died because of him.
“Why can’t I be the one to die? Why— why does it have to be you?”
“I love you, Yoshiki, and I don’t want to be the reason you’re dead. I already know I’ll never be able to love someone as much as you.”
Hikaru tries to smile while getting up, but almost immediately Yoshiki throws his arms around his waist.
11 minutes.
“Hikaru… please, don’t leave me” Yoshiki buries his face in Hikaru’s suit, his tears staining the fabric.
Gunshots can be heard.
Hikaru knows that soon, one of them will signal his death.
Hikaru gets down to hug back the boy, slipping his bag of marbles in the boy’s pocket.
“I love you, Yoshiki. After we ran away, it was as if I was a completely new person. That’s when I realized how much I care about you. Seeing you crying when it wasn’t even your fault hurt more than it should have. I’m glad I got to spend my last few days with you, though”
A few chuckles escape his lips, but he’s anything but happy.
Yoshiki screams, but his scream is muffled thanks to the boy in front of him, as his face is now against Hikaru’s shoulder.
“I’ve always had feelings for you. Even before we left. I— I wanted to be myself with you. Nobody else will make me feel as whole as you did. I can’t lose you. If you die, I’ll lose the last part of my childhood I managed to keep close. Please let me die, Hikaru, please”
Yoshiki is staring at Hikaru’s eyes. The latter manages to smile, but his tears betray him.
Would he feel the bullet enter his head, or would it be so quick that it’d be almost painless?
Hikaru tries to go to a bit more isolated place, to avoid Yoshiki seeing him fall down lifeless. He really tries, but the dark-haired boy lounges forward, holding Hikaru’s suit as if it’s an anchor to save him.
He drags him to the ground and tries to stop him from leaving.
He had gotten so used to not trying to do anything that he’d forgotten his strength matched Hikaru’s.
The time is almost up.
There’s still so, so much left unsaid and so little time.
Yoshiki manages to punch Hikaru and get up before him.
He runs to the guard, who was already heading towards the alley next to the small street where they are.
The guard stops him, however, before pointing at Hikaru, signaling him to get up. The boy proceeds to do so, a sad smile forming once again on his lips. They’re shaking.
The marbles, right. Yoshiki quickly searches his pockets to find his bag to give it to Hikaru. Instead, he finds another bag, one that shouldn’t be in his possession.
Yoshiki is standing still, watching as his first friend—no, lover— walks in front of him, stopping before the guard.
He doesn’t want to die, not yet, but that’s not the problem. He’s willing to do this and more if it means Yoshiki’s safe.
“Yoshiki, please find Asako and the others once you’re out of here! I don’t want you to be alone”
It’s quicker than what he thought. The bullet passes easily through his forehead, blood flowing from there.
Yoshiki is staring with his mouth open, the extra set of marbles still in his hand.
“Player 04, eliminated”
Yoshiki isn’t completely alive, only half of him is.
The other one just died with Hikaru.