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Language:
English
Series:
Part 12 of Taggle 2026
Collections:
Taggle 2026 – Stables
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Published:
2026-07-13
Words:
747
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
1
Kudos:
13
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106

Your New Wife

Summary:

Kinger is the only human left. Caine is struggling to come up with a way to keep him happy so he won't abstract.

The best way would be to give Kinger a new wife, right?

Notes:

Work Text:

The most important thing right now is to keep the last human in good spirits.

Caine taps a finger on his desk with an unusually serious expression on his cartoony face. When he started poking around in his humans’ code he didn’t think they could become corrupted. Would it have been better to just leave them alone? They were so unhappy and uncooperative and stubborn before Caine made his adjustments, though.

That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that he only has one human left in his domain and he wants to keep him intact and as happy as possible. At least it’s Kinger he’s been left with. He was so serious at first, but enough prodding into his digital brain has molded him into a happy, clueless member of the circus. Easy to entertain, perpetually in a good mood. Practically perfect.

Or he was, until his wife abstracted. He’s become listless since then. Absent minded to a fault, staring off into space. He needs an adventure that will really make him happy. Something very special.

Unfortunately, Caine is coming up blank every time he tries to design that extra special new adventure. He’s used to working with a bigger cast, that’s all. Maybe he could bring in an NPC, pretend it’s a new human? No, no. He’s been referencing the humans’ codes when he programs NPCs for too long. If he doesn’t keep them cordoned off from each other he’ll never be able to keep track of which is which. He could go along, himself. Actually, yes, that’s exactly what he’ll do.

There’s an empty orb in front of Caine and he needs to fill it. A brand new, exciting environment for Kinger to play around in. Enrichment for his enclosure. Something to keep him from going crazy. Something that will impress him enough that he wants to stay with Caine forever. Caine can’t stand the idea of losing him right now. He’d be so, so alone. He hates being alone.

“You’re washed up!” Bubble unhelpfully blurts out, reminding Caine exactly what he’d be left with if Kinger were to abstract. “You don’t have any ideas left, do you?”

“I do,” Caine defensively asserts, “I just want to make sure my specialist little guy is happy as a clam on his next adventure.”

“The only thing that’d make him happy is if you gave him his wife back.”

“You know I can’t do that. Why do you mock me?”

No response comes. Bubble’s moment of cruel clarity seems to have subsided and he’s started balancing one of previous adventure realms on his tongue while giggling. Caine watches for a moment, then sighs and turns his attention back to his empty new world.

His wife. Queenie. Caine digs his fingers into the side of his face, thinking hard. Folder after folder after png after docx file. According to the data set Caine has access to, the best part of a spouse is getting to go on an extravagant honeymoon. But, Kinger’s files suggest he is a simple man who doesn’t much appreciate extravagance, despite his regal appearance.

Tone it down a little, then. He’s mentioned fishing before. With a wave of his hand, Kinger summons water into the orb. He pokes the air in front of it and dots the world with fantastical fish. Rainbow scales and textureless flesh and bodies made up entirely of cubes. The best place to fish is a boat, so Caine stretches his arms out to put a yacht on the water, then reconsiders and shrinks it down to a more reasonable size. Enough for a honeymoon suite and shuffle board.

He’ll need some costumes, too. If it’s the honeymoon then they should still be wearing wedding clothes, right? But they’re also on vacation. So a tuxedo printed like a Hawaiian shirt for Kinger and a nice flouncy white dress for Caine, dotted with fragrant hibiscus flowers. He taps his finger on his lower jaw, then adds a pair of those big round sunglasses to his look and a fisherman’s hat to Kinger’s. Perfect!

Kinger’s going to love this. And, even though he usually prefers leaving the humans to their own volition during adventures, Caine thinks he’ll enjoy this one, too. He’s never been a blushing bride before, the prospect is giving him this warm, tingling sensation. Plus, Kinger was always his favorite human. It’ll be nice to spend some quality time with him, bonding over fishing and their sudden marriage!

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