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“Nayuta.” Denji’s voice broke through the sharp silence, but didn’t stop it from mending itself together again. Both of them are sitting on a creaky old bench, staring at the sunset sky.
“Am I capable of love?” This question has plagued him ever since Reze left him, leading him to think about love and lust. Yoshida’s nagging didn’t help at all to keep them contained. Who in this world really wanted Denji for who he was, and not because of his chainsaw heart? And does he really have the potential to grow past his childish desires? Of course, he didn’t always think about such depressing thoughts, but when he did, it hurt bad. He really felt alone right now.
As if sensing his ever-declining mood, Nayuta stood up from the bench and positioned herself in front of him. Blocking the view of the city. She held out a peace-like sign. “Denji, do you like Asa?”
It seemed like this was supposed to be some half-hearted attempt at cheering up Denji, but instead, he saw it as an attempt to annoy him. As if he didn’t deal with enough of those people on the daily basis. And it definitely didn’t suit the control devil to do something like this.
With a sigh, he answered, “I mean, I guess—“ After responding, Nayuta shoved her face into his, making him back up. “And what about me!” She had a sort of cute pouty face etched into her skin.
“Yes, I like you too, Nayuta.” However, his rolling eyes contradicted this.
Suddenly, Nayuta backed off and put her hands on her hips, declaring smugly, “Like is different from love, Denji. You can like everyone, but if you like everyone, you like nobody…or no one, however the saying goes!” Denji looked at her with a confused expression. “Anyway, point is, you can like a lot of people, but those you truly like and want to cherish are a select few; that’s what humans refer to as love. Something special and different from like. And I think if someone has at least one person like that, they are capable of love. Does that make sense? Denji?……..Denji.”
The man in question is frozen in thought. Seemingly replaying her words in his head. Breaking it down the best he can. “DENJI!” Denji snapped out his thoughts, being shaken by her hands. “Hey, hey! I can hear you- Hey, cut it out!” Shoving her off him, he stood.
Nayuta, on the other hand, stood with her arms crossed and a very irritated look on her cute face. The black-haired sighed when he ruffled her hair. “Hmph, you definitely weren’t listening. Why do humans ask such silly questions, but when answered, ignore it completely..? It’s like they’d rather stay suffering in ignorance.” She looked away while grumbling.
The other chuckled slightly at this and squatted to her level. “I have an idea, why don’t we get some ice cream as an apology?” Denji had some extra cash on him from Yoshida, the one thing he was grateful toward that Bastard for. Nayuta shifted moods immediately, smiling brightly while chanting, “yes, yes!” and tugging his arm.
The two walk while holding hands, to Denji, this whole family thing was so foreign to him. Back when he lived with Aki and Power…he was the one being taken care of. Now he must learn what it means to take care of another. Is that love?
If Nayuta believes he can, then he must be a good older brother. A sigh escapes him when they finally reach the ice cream truck. A little old-fashioned but okay. Inside was a man aged by time, 70’s maybe. Preparing to close up. Weird for a man this old to still be working while the sun is going down.
He smirked and leaned forward. “Hello, youngins, you caught me at just the right time! Shortly after this I’ll be closing so, what can I get ya?” Of course, Nayuta had to get a super-tall ice cream, layered in rainbow sprinkles. She always throws a fit if there’s not enough. And when she does…Denji always ends up apologizing on her behalf. “And you, young man?”
“Oh uh, I’ll get uhm… a chocolate milkshake.” The old man smiled and began preparing the desserts. Denji slapped a few yen bills on the counter before leading Nayuta to another bench. Now the sky was a lilac, and orange when closer to ground level.
He released another sigh before proceeding with his speech. “I think... you’re right. The more I think about it, love and hate aren’t too opposite from each other. All these feelings I have inside me are too mixed for such labels. I don’t think I’ve truly hated anyone in this life. I’m so naive sometimes, guided by lust. But that’s just a part of me, I guess. And that’s okay. Love can come in many shapes and forms, not bound by whatever rules or guidelines humanity sets.” Denji stops talking for a moment, turning his head to Nayuta.
“You said like and love are completely different from each other. But what if my way of liking someone and loving someone blurs the lines separating the two? Is liking someone more shallow than loving? Is platonic love worth less than romantic love? Who gets to decide how I feel? What matters is that I believe I can love. In whatever way I want.
“Maybe that’s the question. Not if you can, instead, how you can.” Nayuta confirms. Denji is surprised she can still keep some focus of her brain not on the ice cream.
Now deep down, Denji knows that by tomorrow he’d probably flash his dick for a couple thousand yen, but right now it feels like he solved a puzzle that was plaguing him his whole life. All thanks to a control devil stuck in a little girl's body. Denji snickers at this before laughing softly.
“Denji.”
His laughter slows down.
Nayuta and he lock in on a staring contest, leaving Denji guessing what she’ll do next, but to his surprise, she just scoffs before turning away.
“…”
“…”
“You are so stupid sometimes.”
Denji balks at this before standing with her, running to catch up to her seemingly ever increasing pace back home.
The two continue to walk in silence before Nayuta remarks, “I don’t think it’s worth the effort to fit your feelings into boxes. Emotions are complex things that don’t deserve to be labelled; it makes them lose their significance. And using them as a weapon? So silly. You humans like to do that a lot, which makes me glad that I’m not a part of your foolish race. No matter how they perceive it and use it. They all get hurt in the end.”
Denji hummed in agreement.