Chapter Text
It was supposed to be just another script. A mission on some random planet he couldn’t bother to remember the name of. But something went wrong. The stellaron- it went out of control and exploded. Blade got hit head on and died right there on the spot. He was no stranger to death. He even welcomed the feeling with open arms. But then, why did he wake up in a familiar yet unfamiliar place? In the body of a child at that?
This had to be some kind of memosnatcher’s trick. Or maybe the stellaron had something to do with it? There was just no way- he refused to believe he was now stuck in the body of a child. Why didn’t Elio say anything about it in the script? Whatever. They could fix it, right? The effects of stellaron will wear off and he will return back to his normal- adult body self.
Blade looked around the room he was in. So familiar… Was this his childhood room? Now he was more convinced it was a memosnacher playing tricks on him rather than the stellaron.
He went to look in the mirror on the wall and sure enough- he saw navy blue hair and purple eyes staring at him from his reflection. No red in sight anywhere- not on the tips of his bangs or in his eyes. He's Yingxing...? A child version of Yingxing? No… There is just no way. How is this possible? What is happening?!
Blade- no, Yingxing looked at himself in the mirror. He put his hand on his cheek as if feeling to make sure this was actually real. He ran his hand through his hair. It felt real. Like it was actually- physically happening. He had turned back into Yingxing. Was he still cursed with immortality? If he cut his flesh, would it heal itself back together? Was he still Blade? He didn’t know… So many questions and he had no answers at all.
He looked around the room again. This was clearly the room of a child. Star stickers that glow in the dark were glued onto the ceiling, toys were scattered around the room, the bedsheets were that of his favorite childhood cartoon characters… Did he… return to the past?
He picked up an unsolved Rubik’s cube. He could solve this cube now in seconds if he wanted too. It felt… a bit heavy. Like an actual physical object. This couldn’t be a memosnatcher then. Memories had no physical form, after all.
Yingxing was always smart but before coming to the Xianzhou Zhuming he was more of the artistic type. He liked to draw all day every day instead of going out and playing with kids his age. Yes, he became a craftsman and he was the best furnace master the Xianzhou ever had but he was never an artist. Sometimes he wondered what he would’ve become had the Borisin not invaded his homeplanet. Would he live a normal life and die a regular person? Or would fate still find a way to make him immortal? Would he become an artist? Would his art have an impact on the universe the same way his weapons did? If he never met Dan Feng, Baiheng, Jingliu, and Jing Yuan… What would his life be like without them?
Just as Blade was starting to make sense of things he heard a voice calling out to him. A voice that he forgot but would always recognise.
“Yingxing! Come eat dinner before it gets cold!”
“Mom…?”
Blade heard his mother’s voice for the first time in centuries. How was this possible?! His parents were dead- slaughtered by the Borisin and eaten by them. So how come he just heard his mother calling out to him to eat dinner? As if she has never been dead at all?
He rushed out of the room- he had to see if this was true. Was it really his mother or just an illusion? He ran into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw her standing there, holding a small plate of food. Child size portions.
“Mom!”
Blade called out to his mother. His voice was that of a child. His voice sounded exactly like that of Yingxing’s when he was young. Not his deep, tired sounding voice that he barely used anymore. It was high pitched, squeaky, and probably annoying…
He ran forward and hugged his mother’s legs tightly. Wrapping his small arms around her desperately.
“Mom! The Borisin! They killed you!”
He sobbed into his mother’s legs. Tears were pouring uncontrollably from his eyes. Why was he reacting like this? Was it because he was in the body of a child that he couldn’t control his emotions anymore?
“Oh Yingxing… Did you have a nightmare my little star?”
His mother patted his head and crouched down to his level.
“It’s okay sweetie, I’m right here.”
She pulled him into a hug and wiped his tears and yet they wouldn’t stop coming.
“No mom! You have to listen to me, it wasn’t a dream! Please believe me mama!”
Yingxing was crying even harder now. Holding onto his mother for dear life because what else was he supposed to do? He hadn’t seen his mother in so long and he felt that if he let go now she will disappear again forever.
“Well of course it wasn’t a dream, silly. It was a nightmare. Do you wanna talk to me about it? Tell me what happened, baby.”
“T-The Borisin- hic! C-Came and- and killed you!”
Yingxing’s breath hitched between sobs as he tried to explain himself.
He was full on crying now. Ugly crying, with snot coming out of his nose and hiccuping while trying to hold back tears He missed his mother so much and now she was finally here, right infront of him- breathing, warm, alive. After so many years that he hasn’t seen her. He never got to avenge her either.
“Starlight…”
She patted his back trying to comfort him.
“I’m right here, baby. The Borisin didn’t kill me if I’m right here now, did they?”
She spoke softly. She was trying to make him understand that what happens in dreams doesn’t happen in real life. But he already knew that! And that wasn’t a dream- the Borisin really did kill her and almost everyone else on the planet!
“But mom!”
Yingxing sniffled. She was never going to believe him. She thought he was just a child having a nightmare, that nothing like that could possibly happen. She wasn’t taking him seriously. No one would. She probably thinks he just has a very active wild imagination. That maybe he watched a scary movie and it got into his head, creating horrible nightmares.
If only it really was just a bad dream… But there are no if’s in life. He knew that it was going to happen sooner or later. That it was just a matter of time before the Borisin will come and he will lose his family all over again. He can’t let that happen. But who would believe the word of a child? People will just think he’s a crazy, weird kid and move on with their life. His mother clearly wasn’t believing him either. Was this fate? Was he destined to lose his family no matter what? Even if he did return to the past, could he really not change anything at all?
He had to save her. He has to try. Even if he fails, at least then he will know that he did everything he could. Back then, he couldn’t do anything. He was a helpless child, even now he feels helpless. But now he knows the future. With the knowledge he has, maybe, just maybe… there is a chance. He will take this sliver of hope and do everything he can to save his family.
“Don’t cry, starlight. It’s okay… Dad will be here soon and we’ll have dinner together, okay?”
She wiped away his tears as she spoke in that soft tone of voice mothers use when comforting their children. Yingxing looked up and stared at his mother’s face. She looked so much like him. They had the same shade of purple in their eyes, the exact same hair colour and the exact same features. He almost forgot his mother’s face but how could he? Every time he looked in the mirror he saw it.
He kept staring at her face trying to etch it into his memory. He will never forget her face again.
Wait, did mom just say “dad”? Dad is alive too… He can finally have a normal dinner with his family. He can experience what it’s like to have your parents sit with you at the dinner table and hear them talk about their boring day at work or tell them about the weird looking bug he saw at the playground. He could experience what it’s like to have a normal childhood.
Yingxing didn’t get to have a normal childhood after the Borisin invaded his home planet. He was an orphan until master Huaiyan took him under his wing. He doesn’t remember if master Huaiyan actually legally adopted him though. He doesn’t think he did. Sure he raised him and taught him everything he knew, but he wasn’t really his dad… At least, that’s what he thought. Because what long life would want a short life as their son? Not only that, but he also committed the ten unpardonable sins and became a criminal wanted all across the cosmos. He failed his master. He doesn’t deserve to be his ‘son’.
His dad will be here soon and they will have dinner together as a family. Until then, he had to calm down. He had to pretend that everything was normal, that he really was their son and not just a shell of their dead son from 700 years in the future.
Yingxing sniffled and wiped away his tears. Taking a deep breath in and feeling much calmer. For some reason he didn’t feel the mara stirring inside him. Usually emotional moments like this would make the madness take control but right now he felt… nothing. Like he didn’t have mara at all.
Does that mean that only his memories returned to the past? Is this another universe or timeline or whatever mumbo jumbo that Silver Wolf would probably know about? If only she was here… She would probably explain it to him in gaming language and that would only serve to make him even more confused. He hoped she was doing okay. And that she ate her pudding.
“I’m home!”
He heard a deep voice yelling as it entered the house. That voice… was similar to his own.
A man with wrinkles underneath his eyes entered the kitchen. Yingxing had the exact same wrinkles appear on his face as he got older and aged with time… He truly was a mix of both his mother and father. Proof of their love, of their existence…
“Dad…”
He whispered. Testing the word on his tongue. It felt strange, really. Saying "mom" and "dad" so casually as if nothing ever happened. As if they hadn't been eaten by those monsters right in front of him.
“Hey little star! Were you crying? Your eyes are red and puffy…”
“I…”
He struggled to find an excuse. What was he supposed to say? That they, his parents, and most of the planet were going to be Borisin food?
“Yingxing had a nightmare.”
His mother answered.
“A nightmare? Oh… Come here.”
Yingxing’s dad picked him up and held him close to his chest.
“There, there… Everything’s okay now. Mommy and daddy are here. No nightmare is going to get you.”
He patted his back in a soothing manner and rubbing it in circles.
Yingxing couldn’t stop himself from hugging his father tightly. He wanted to hold onto his parents and never let go.
“Feeling better now, Little star?”
His father asked softly. Yingxing nodded his head quietly.
“Come on, let’s have dinner now.”
Said his mother and his father nodded his head too. Like father like son.
And so they had dinner together as a family. A normal family. His mother’s cooking tastes so good. Nothing he ate could ever compare. When she died Yingxing was too young to learn how to cook. He was so small and couldn’t reach the stove and his hands weren’t skilled enough to hold a knife. Ironicly, now he’s the one that does most of the cookings for the stellaron hunters. And yet… he will never get to make his mother’s dishes. Generations of women in his family passed down their recipes to the next generation but he never got them. All the love, hard work, trial and error that went into the recipes his mother used to make will never be passed down to him. He will never get to tweak a recipe for his own taste or learn how to perfect it. Unless…
“Mom…?”
Yingxing asked carefully. His tone sounded soft and his voice high pitched.
“Yes, my little star?”
She responded immediately. Her voice calm and steady.
“Can you teach me how to cook…?”
Both Blade and Yingxing know how to cook. He doesn’t need to learn how to he just wants to spend time with his mother before it’s too late.
“When you’re older sweetie.”
She ruffled his hair lightly. He expected this response. He’s too young- too small. His entire arm was the size of the average kitchen knife. It was too dangerous for him to hold one even though he’s a master swordsman. Great. Just great.
Yingxing ate the rest of his dinner in silence. His parents noticed that their son wasn’t as talkative as usual but they didn’t push. They thought he was still shaken up by the ‘nightmare’. If only they knew that the nightmare was actually a reality that is bound to happen sooner or later.
“Alright starlight, let’s go clean you up and tuck you into bed.”
His father noticed he was done eating and that it was almost bedtime. Blade wanted to disappear into the floor. He was a grown man- he didn’t need anyone to bathe him and he sure as hell didn’t need a bedtime. But this body did start feeling tired actually… Maybe it was because he was in the body of a child who has a bedtime at 20:00!!! No wonder he was starting to feel tired. Is this how Silver Wolf felt when he told her to get off the game and take a shower and go to sleep? Probably. But her sleep schedule is horrendous. If he doesn’t tell her to sleep she will play video games all night and all day. She will forget to eat, shower, sleep and- Oh. He was just like her. When he was a young craftsman, he also forgot to take care of himself. Spending all his time in the forge, barely getting any sleep or eating anything.
“I can shower on my own and tuck myself into bed.”
Yingxing spoke up. Hopefully his parents will take him seriously.
“Aww! Our little star is growing up so fast.”
His mother cooed.
“Ah, well then. Go ahead starlight. If you need any help just call us.”
His father agreed to let him do things on his own. He thought his son was ready and still offered help just in case. Now that's great parenting. How old was this body anyway? He’s not a baby. At least he didn’t get sent into that stage of life. That would’ve been a nightmare. He should be around four or five years old… He thinks.
Well, he should go take a bath now. He’ll figure things out tomorrow if he doesn’t get sent back to his own time by then.
Yingxing went to shower. He shampooed his hair with some kind of strawberry scented shampoo. Funny, Elio likes that kind of shampoo scent. What a coincidence. After the shower, he put on a pyjama that had some kind of cartoon characters on it. Ridiculous. Never in his 700 years of living did he think he would wear a cartoon pyjama. But that’s the only kind of clothes he has in his childhood closet. He won’t complain. He’ll make do of what he has.
He walked to his bedroom. His hair is much shorter than the hair he has in his real lifetime. It barely reached his shoulders. At least it took less time to dry. Maybe short hair is more convenient than long hair but he couldn’t imagine himself with short hair in his adult body.
Just as he got into bed he heard a knock on the door. Before he could answer, his father came into the room.
“Hey, little star. I came to tell you goodnight.”
His father smiled. Huh. They even had the same grin.
“…Goodnight, dad.”
He responded after a moment.
“Sweet dreams, son. Would you like me to read you a bedtime story? Or maybe a goodnight kiss?”
“Goodnight, dad!”
Yingxing dove under the covers to save himself from the embarrassment of having someone read him a bedtime story. At his age, seriously? He didn’t need a bedtime story or a goodnight kiss, he wasn’t a child! Okay maybe this body is a child version of him but still.
“Hahaha! Alright, alright. Goodnight, little star.”
His father chuckled. His son was growing up so fast- already embarrassed of his old man…
He flicked off the lights in the room and closed the door quietly as he left.
Yingxing closed his eyes but he couldn't sleep. Not yet- his thoughts were too scattered. If he fell asleep now, would he return back to his own time? Is it like in those movies Silver Wolf forces them to watch on when it's her turn to choose the movie for movie nights? When is the Borisin invasion supposed to happen? Could he save his parents? Is it possible to change fate? Is this like another universe or another timeline? Where is Elio when you need him…
Eventually, exhaustion took over this five-year-old body and he fell asleep. Falling asleep was much more easier than he thought... Usually he struggled with getting himself to sleep but in this body it was just... normal.