Chapter Text
"Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family? Well don't let the picture fool you." Lincoln asked the readers. "It's not all sugar and spice, don't believe me?"
Lincoln opens the door revealing each of his siblings and some of the family pets in the hallway, "Welcome to the Loud house." shutting his room door.
"Surviving in a big family can be challenging… even the little things, like getting a turn in the bathroom." Lincoln explains while doing some stretches.
"Which is why I give you 'Lincoln Loud's three p's to go poo and pee.' You're gonna need patience, perseverance, and most importantly problem solving. With these three steps you'll get into the bathroom every time, which is important… especially if you wait till the very last second to go." Lincoln exclaimed, gathering himself before almost accidentally relieving himself.
"Into the bridge." Lincoln says as he walks out of his room. "Luna, a little traveling music?" Lincoln asked.
"You got bro 1. 2. 3." Luna says as music plays in the background.
If this wasn't a fanfic and the actual tv show you would hear the classic loud house music.
"Hey Lincoln, you want to hear my poem?" Lucy asked.
"I do but I have a pressing engagement." Lincoln answered as he ran past her.
"Lincoln smell my new flower." Luan said, as water comes from the fake pink flower.
"Hah, did you really think I'd fall for-" Lincoln gets interrupted as some water enters his mouth from the flower decoration on Luan's shoe.
"It's not easy being this good." Luan states as she walks away.
"Clear the track coming through."
Lincoln spits out the water as he gets out of the way as Lynn crashes somewhere in the hallway as her helmet rolls away.
"Hold it, Lincoln, play fashion photographer with me." Lola asked.
"I would Lola but I really have to…"
Lola interrupts Lincoln. "You play or I'll tell mom you're reading comics in your room in your underwear again." Lola demanded.
Lincoln with little choice decides to play along and be the photographer as Lola poses for the camera with each flash going off.
"Lincoln!" Said Lana.
"Hey I'm working here." Lola exclaimed after her twin sister interrupted the pretend photo shoot that she and Lincoln were "playing".
"Check out my mud pie, It's nice and squishy." Said Lana. Only for Lincoln to run straight to pass them as he reaches his limit.
"Now?" Lucy asked
"Still pressing." Lincoln answered.
"Don't forget to carry the one." Lincoln says to his second youngest brainiac sister Lisa, while he jumps over her.
"Does anyone know how to turn on this sucky-thingy?" Leni questioned while holding the vacuum tube in her eye.
Lincoln ran past Leni, she ended up finding the power button and ended up sucking Lincoln clothes with the vacuum just leaving him in his underwear.
"Got it." Leni says.
Lincoln makes the final stretch to the bathroom only for his oldest sibling Lori to come out of nowhere and reach the bathroom doorway first before her little brother.
"Beat it, twerp."
"Come on Lori no fair, I was here first." Lincoln exclaimed.
"Well I was born first." Lori stated after shutting the bathroom door.
"It looks like you have time now." Lucy said
She pulls out a piece of paper and Lincoln leaning on the bathroom door as he tries to hold it in. Just before Lucy starts to read her poem…
"Sup Lincoln, Hey Lucy. Whatcha up to?"
Both turn to see a black boy with dreadlocks going down his shoulders wearing a Jolly Roger shirt, blue shorts, and black & dark blue color sneakers.
"Hi Deron." Lucy replied, "I was going to read my poem to Lincoln."
"Huh, nice. But uhm…" Deron looks towards Lincoln, "why does it look like he looks seconds away from exploding?"
"It's because Lori is hogging the bathroom and I really gotta pee." Lincoln pleaded.
Deron scratched his head, "Then why not come with me to my Auntie's house?"
Both Loud siblings looked at him with a surprised look.
"If you need to go that bad I'll take you and Lucy you can come over too, to read your poem, knocking two birds with one stone." Deron explains
Deron proceeds to wrap Lincoln up in a blanket and pick him up before he can get a word in and proceeds to go downstairs to the front door with Lucy following suit. Before long they go across the street and go straight into Deron Auntie's house.
"Y-You sure it's alright for me to use your Aunt's bathroom." Lincoln fidgeting.
Deron nodded, "Of course, I'll tell you more when you actually relieve yourself on the toilet, you can use the one on the second floor."
Before Lincoln could question why, he decided to save it for later and went to the upstairs bathroom when he wasn't on the verge of peeing on himself.
"I'm surprised you didn't ask why he was in his underwear." Lucy mentioned.
"I can take a guess that it was Leni messing with the vacuum cleaner again, right?" Deron asked.
Lucy is taken back, "Oh do you speak from experience?"
"Yep…unfortunately." Deron regrettably responded. Remember the time when Leni need some help with the vacuum cleaner before and when she flipped one of the switch. His somewhat shattered dignity was what remained.
The moment Lincoln reached the top of the stairs bathroom he turned to the readers, "Like I said, surviving in a big family can be challenging. But it's not impossible, especially when got a roommate that nice enough to let you use their own family bathroom, now if you excuse me pressing engagements!"
Lincoln slams the door and relieved himself, all while downstairs Lucy finished reading her poem to Deron.
"Huh, got to say that was a good poem Lucy, but why was water used as the theme? If you read this to someone who was rushing to the bathroom it would have been torture for them." Dern mentioned.
Lucy put a finger on her chin, "Hm, never really thought of it like that."
Dern's eyes narrowed, "I see. Anyway, mind explaining to me why he was talking to himself upstairs. I went to check to make sure if he knew where it was only to hear him talking to himself?"
Lucy shrugged, "He does that sometimes, we're thinking of getting a doctor to see what's going on with Lincoln."
Dern just blinked a few times after hearing this and just let out a sigh. 'Guess my life really is about to get Loud and Chaotic in this family huh?'