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I'm sick and tired and the crummy old gruesome hat was not making it any better, in fact I think it was making it worse. I am a phoenix not a crummy hat babysitter; get the squib to watch it instead. The crummy thing was black and some of the fabric is peeling off, it smelled like rotten eggs interlaced with used socks, the inside looked like greasy hair. I hated the hat, even when it was new.
I knew it was time to go. I am sick and old. I see the light, blinding and painful but soothing and comforting. After a few seconds I felt young again, like I just had been born. I sifted through the ash and looked smugly at the hat and said "at least I always look young, unlike you."
I had sensed from the beginning that there was something horrible going to happen this year. But I could do nothing about it. But today that dread made me so dizzy I could hardly stand on my perch. I knew the chamber of secrets had been opened.
I flew as fast as I could to the chamber with that crummy old hat. I knew the boy who lived was down there as was a red-head and a hero impersonator. Maybe I could dispose of the horrid hat in the chamber of secrets. I went through the passage and slid through the oil-slick pipes. I found at the bottom a crazy hero impersonator and that red-head with more freckles than I can count. I nodded at them before heading off to kill the hat.
When I reached the chamber I saw a dark being call forth the humungous snake. I sung a war cry, while tossing the crummy thing at the boy's head. Too bad the useless piece of junk wasn't destroyed by the fall. The ugly shriveled thing hit the ground with a thunk.
The boy looked at the crummy piece of junk and reached within it. The boy pulled out a sword. But it was not just any sword; it was the sword of Gryffindor. How could such an ugly hat have such a beautiful sword? The hilt had rubies the size of eggs inbedened in it. I didn't know the dust collector had a sword, and I had been stuck with the hat for most of my long life.
The dark being called the huge snake to attack. The snake was not just a snake it was a basilisk and was about to strike at the boy who lived. The boy was running like a headless chicken, he was no help to me. I knew if the basilisk got out of the chamber it would attack the school, and Hogwarts would be closed down.
A basilisk is a huge scaled serpent. The beast makes the saying "if looks could kill" true because if you look into the serpents eyes it kills you. But if you look at the basilisk's eyes through a mirror you'll just be paralyzed.
I screeched and tried to get the basilisk's attention. When the basilisk turned I closed my eyes, and dove. My golden beak hit the mark; the basilisk's eyes are now bloody and harmless. The boy who lived took the opportunity to fight and defend Hogwarts. The snake opened its mouth to bite down onto the boy's arm. The boy then shoved the Gryffindor sword down the basilisk's throat, but not before poison went into the boy's bloodstream.
The basilisk died soon after, but the poison in the boy who lived was still there. I went over to him and started to heal his wounds with my tears. The dark being took it the wrong way and thought I was crying over his death, foolish mortal. When the dark being finally realized my tears heal; I had already healed the boy who lived. "Shoo bird" he said but when he said that, the boy who lived had grabbed the basilisk's fang and jabbed it into the diary, making the dark being dissolve into mist.
I grabbed the boy who lived, the red-heads, and the crazy hero impersonator and started to fly out of the chamber of secrets. Too bad the boy who lived grabbed the crummy old hat before I took off. I tried to make the flight somewhat pleasant. I was upset the hat was not destroyed.
The next day the boy who lived and the ugly hat were complemented on their hard work. I wasn't even noticed or complemented by anyone. That is the last time I'm helping Hogwarts.
Next time I see that hat I am going to throw it into the centaur territory and watch the centaurs rip it apart, and I will enjoy it. Can't the humans see that I saved Hogwarts, not the gruesome hat?