Chapter Text
Haruka sighs and opens up her laptop, signing into MORE MORE JUMP’s joint work email to look for offers. As of late, she’s come to expect maybe one or two every week (and half the time they’re near-insultingly unrealistic…), but she still likes to check every day. Just in case some miracle happens and the industry starts to love them again. Unlikely, right? It’s been difficult for them recently. Silly as it seems, Haruka often finds herself relying on her groupmates to remain hopeful.
It’s hypocritical. Spreading hope was always my goal. Why can’t I just–
Her emails finally load in and she gasps, seeing a whopping two whole offers sent to the account, on the same day! Both from different companies, both promising very reasonable rates for their work and, most importantly, both fitting scarily well with MORE MORE JUMP’s established brand. A miracle! She scrambles for her phone and hurriedly tells Minori, Airi and Shizuku to ‘Check the work email now, please’. Within a couple minutes, the former two reply
‘of course! ^^’ and ‘You got it ;)’
Shizuku, however, almost never says anything on their group chat. Haruka can see that she had seen the message before the others, though. She’s probably figuring out how to check the email…? The mental image of Shizuku, frowning slightly in confusion at her phone and maybe calling for her beloved Shii-chan for help, makes Haruka smile to herself. She feels her face flush a little.
Sighing once more, Haruka shakes her head curtly and pulls out her pen and paper to try and work out a schedule.
The first offer: a sports drink ad, shot at the beach. Her and Airi in particular are huge proponents of health, and she’d quite enjoyed this particular brand in the past, so it wouldn’t conflict with the brand at all. Furthermore, their fans still ask for another ‘MORE MORE BEACH stream’ (as they like to call it) most lives, so this could be an excuse to film something there. Maybe we could all hang out there too? Maybe Shizuku could wear her swimsuit–
The second offer! The second offer is to stream at a zoo well-known for its penguins. The zoo is quite far away from Shibuya, but it would pay much higher than their other offers, so it would surely be worth it! And, well, it would be nice to see the penguins…! Maybe they have otters, too? Or any shima-enaga birds? Those are Shizuku’s favourites. She’d be so happy–
She rests her head on her paper, frustrated. It’s been like this for a while. Try as she might, she can’t get Shizuku out of her head. Shizuku, her groupmate. Her senior. Her friend. It isn’t necessarily ideal, but what can she do about it? With the way Shizuku smiles, dances, sings, talks, walks, sits, does… just about anything, really, it’s a surprise she didn’t fall sooner. Is it love? Maybe it is. Is it requited?
Blushing, Haruka hurries to change into her workout clothes. It’ll probably do her good to think about something else.
*****
“Um, Haruka?” Airi says, with a cautious expression. “I know you’re excited about this penguin place, but it’s far away, and they didn’t offer us any transport…”
Once again, Haruka can feel her face flush. She’s thankful it isn’t because of her beautiful Shizuku this time, but as MORE MORE JUMP’s producer, she really shouldn’t miss details like that.
“Actually, I know how we’d get there, Airi-chan!” Shizuku’s warm, airy voice rings out. Her voice always puts Haruka at ease, Turning to look at Shizuku, Haruka notices Minori and Airi exchange a loaded glance. She also notices how Shizuku is looking straight at her with that soft smile and those kind eyes. Her cheeks get even hotter.
Shizuku seemingly waits for her groupmates to pay full attention to her before annoucing: "Recently, I've been learning to drive! I'm taking my final test soon, actually!"
"Whoa, Shizuku-chan, that's so cool!" says Minori excitedly. She leaps up to grab Shizuku's hands, much to Haruka's chagrin. Airi is less excited.
"And you didn't tell us anything?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise. And I... Well, I wanted to do something to help us all! Airi-chan is good at planning and winning people over, Minori-chan is good at coming up with ideas and keeping us all cheerful, and Haruka-chan..." She pauses, for some reason, and gives Haruka a wistful look. "Haruka-chan is an amazing producer, and she's so captivating in our performances. Sometimes I feel I just can't compare."
"That isn't true, Shizuku." Haruka barely thinks before saying it. Hearing her beloved say that was upsetting, after all. "Didn't you design our costumes? Don't you practice every routine until you're absolutely perfect? ...You're amazing, Shizuku. Maybe even the best. A-and..." She can feel something of a lump forming in her throat, so she not-so-subtly gestures to Airi to keep going for her.
But Airi doesn't do anything except smirk a little at her, and Haruka looks back to see Shizuku's eyes welling with tears and her smile somehow brighter than ever. Shizuku suddenly lunges towards her and wraps her up in potentially the tightest hug any human has ever experienced. Taken aback, Haruka awkwardly smooths Shizuku's back.
She isn't letting go. ...What do I do?
Haruka resolves to take advantage of the opportunity to be so near to her crush, and so holds her closer. She feels Shizuku nestle into her chest and hears a muffled giggle coming from Airi. Or maybe Minori. It doesn't really matter to her in this moment. She's too busy trying to stay as normal-looking as possible, though judging by the others' laughing even more, it probably isn't working.
After the longest few minutes of Haruka's entire life, Shizuku pulls away and starts apologising profusely for crying into Haruka's shirt (even though she really doesn't mind) and starts wiping her eyes. Once recomposed, she explains how her driving lessons have been going incredibly well! Apparently, she's done around two weeks of them, and her teacher already wants her to get her license.
"Wait, isn't that, like, super fast?" Minori tilts her head and widens her eyes in surprise.
"Is it?" Shizuku also tilts her head. Haruka smiles to herself. Another thing she's good at...
Airi shakes her head and playfully taps Shizuku on the shoulder.
"Another thing you're just good at, huh?" she laughs, and so does Haruka.
*****
One night a few weeks later, having fully agreed to take both offers, fear washes over Haruka. As much as she loves the idea of seeing those penguins, that zoo really is far away. Will they really be able to get there? She's not sure if Shizuku will be ready for the drive, too, since she only just got her license... Maybe we could do a practice drive?
Almost as soon as she thinks it, she reaches for her phone and calls Shizuku. The phone rings. Selfish. I just want to be alone with her. I just want to be close to her. If she knew she wouldn't talk to me. If she knew she'd–
"Haruka-chan? What is it?" And as soon as she hears Shizuku's voice, clear and lovely as ever, any negative thoughts melt away, never to be heard again. Haruka stammers through her suggestion. Once finished, Shizuku doesn't speak for a while. Too much? Does she hate the idea? Will she–
"T-that sounds like fun, Haruka-chan!" She can hear Shizuku beam over the phone.
"Were you.. planning to invite the others...?"
Haruka pauses. I was not planning that. Should I have been planning that?
She decides to be honest. "I, uh, was thinking... It may be less stressful if it's just... the two of us?"
"...I thought that too." Her voice is uncharacteristically quiet. They both sit in silence for a second.
"Let's go on Saturday," Haruka says and frantically hangs up when Shizuku shyly agrees.
Is this a date? Am I going on a date? I'd love to go on a date. A date with Shizuku. Does she think it's a date? I hope she thinks it's a date? Do I hope that?
...I'll just go to sleep.
*****
When Saturday finally arrives, Haruka feels a new wave of fear. What the hell is she meant to wear?
Do I go for simple or should I put in more effort? Formal or casual? Should I wear that black top or the penguin one? Should I wear makeup? How much? What colours?
In the end, she settles for something similar to what she usually wears: an oversized cream jumper (with a penguin on it!) over a blue button-up, and black leggings. She does, however, put on a little more makeup than usual. She even swaps her usual matte eyeshadow for a glittery one.
Soon enough, she's waiting for Shizuku outside her house. Seemingly an eternity later, she spots Shizuku's small, yellow car drive into her street and park effortlessly in front of her house. The older girl smiles at Haruka and beckons her into the car. Her heart stops. She might just keel over now, and honestly, she wouldn't be upset if she did.
Once in the car, she can't help but notice how cramped it is. Our arms are touching. We're touching. I could kiss her right now. Should I kiss her? What if I kissed her? What if she kisses me? Would she kiss me? I want her to. I really want her to.
She suddenly realises that her head is in her hands, her eyes have widened and Shizuku keeps looking back at her. Straightening up, Haruka does her absolute best to appear normal. It does not work.
"Haruka-chan, are you okay?" Shizuku clearly sounds worried, it makes Haruka feel bad.
"Yeah, I'm okay... Thanks for driving, again. You don't need to worry about me." This admittedly feeble attempt also does not work. Shizuku pulls over and stops the car.
"Haruka-chan... If something is bothering you, I'd really like you to tell me." Their eyes meet. Shizuku's expression is serious, but her eyes are as kind as ever. Haruka hopes her blush isn't too obvious.
"You helped me so much the other day," she continues. "I'd like to pay you back somehow..." She looks down and places her hand carefully on Haruka's back, causing her to tense up. Before she can stop herself, her worries pour out from her. She almost feels like a leaky cup.
"It's bad of me, isn't it? I shouldn't be like this. But everyday when I check our mail, and we don't have an offer... I can't help but feel like I'm failing you all." She can feel herself start to cry. Her voice cracks and her vision becomes blurred. Shizuku considers her words, nods, and slowly takes both of Haruka's hands in hers.
"It isn't your fault," she whispers. "It isn't your fault at all. You could never fail us, Haruka-chan. We all... We all love you. I love you."
Haruka stops crying now. She loves me?
"...You...?" The words get caught in her throat, as she looks up again at Shizuku. Perhaps it's for the better, as she wordlessly leans down and simply holds Haruka. It makes her feel safe, protected, loved. She never wants Shizuku to let go.
But, of course, she does let go. They do have a zoo to visit. For the rest of the trip, however, Haruka keeps a grin plastered over her face. And her heart never quite returns to its resting heart rate. And all she can really think about is how gorgeous Shizuku looks when she's focusing on the road, with the Summer sun making her hair shine and her graceful way of moving the steering wheel.