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English
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Part 12 of Stories by theme: Humour , Part 10 of Stories by theme: Romance
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End Racism in the OTW
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Published:
2016-12-03
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682
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29
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End Racism in the OTW | 6 times these north London coffee shops made us believe in love

Summary:

Say what you like, their wedding will be delicious.

Notes:

End OTW racism I’m joining an effort to call on AO3 to fulfil commitments they have already made to address harassment and racist abuse on the archive. Read more, boost, and get involved here!

 

It's a coffee shop AU. Of a sort. Abigail Kamara is borrowed from Rivers of London, because in my mind this is a teeny excerpt from a 50K RoL crossover in which Peter has to facilitate their love.

Inspired by @sanditoncoffee: 'We just received a DM that just said "Wanna fuck?" and then a link. We cannot fuck anybody. We are a coffee shop.'

(These specific coffee shops aren't real at time of writing, but I haven't double-checked whether these twitter accounts are in use. Apologies if you are now inadvertently featured in this romance of the ages.)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

6 times these north London coffee shops made us believe in love
Say what you like, their wedding will be delicious.

Abigail Kamara
BuzzFeed Staff

1. The meet cute.

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
We’re sorry! We just wanted to say hi!
RT @coolbeans tfw a customer walks in already carrying a giant $bucks coffee :(

 

2. When Frognal Lane Starbucks was all of us.

FRIGHTnal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
Happy halloween, everyone! pumpkin.gif

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb happy hallowe’en! :)

FRIGHTnal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb hi?

FRIGHTnal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
omg, the cute coffee shop down the roAD NOTICED US! kermitflail.gif

FRIGHTnal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
Me: play it cool, play it cool
Me to me: TWEET ALL YOUR THOUGHTS OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW
evilkermit.jpg

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb time to switch to decaf?

 

3. The flood.

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
we are currently closed due to an unfortunate flooding incident :( we hope to be up and running by 3pm. apologies for the inconvenience

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
deepest apologies to all those who’ve had to resort to @frognallane_sb for their caffeine fix

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@simpletailor2369 thank you :) it’s like the sorcerer’s apprentice in here

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@pondspower we believe it’s called a ‘venti’. which is italian for ‘i am 20 times as pretentious as you’

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
.@coolbeans Thank you for all the extra custom this afternoon! We’re sending round treats for your hardworking moppers! pic.twitter.com/27tC…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb thank you :)

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
we’re open :)

FLOODnal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
THEY’RE OPEN! *so proud* Amazing what you can do when powered by cinnamon swirls and venti americanos!
RT @coolbeans we’re open :)

 

4. When things all got a little fraught.

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
what’s ship?
RT @pondspower does anyone else ship @frognallane_sb/@coolbeans? #starbeans #coolfrog #showerthoughts

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans We’ll tell you when you’re older.

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb we’ve been here for 12 years. that’s longer than you

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans You look good for your age!

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
#didyouknow @starbucks has 791 outlets in the UK!

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
#didyouknow @starbucks was founded in Pike Place Market, Elliott Bay, Seattle in 1971!

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
Follow now for more #starbucksfacts!

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb :/

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans ?

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb that was rude of us :/ we apologise

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans Aw, we can never stay mad at you, babe! hugging.gif

 

5. The moment we all realised @frognallane_sb’s crush might not be so unrequited after all.

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
Happy Saturday, everyone! dancing.gif

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb happy Saturday! :)

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans Any plans for the weekend??

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb thought we might go to the aquarium. then we remembered we’re a coffee shop

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
@coolbeans That was an emotional rollercoaster!

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
@frognallane_sb they’ve got a new special exhibit. made us think of you http://www.london-aquarium.co.uk/starfish-exh...

 

6. THE DATE.

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 oh, what’s that? nothing, just taking two coffee cups on a date #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/73cY…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 here they are side by side about to enter the London Aquarium #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/02ap…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 here I am, showing Ramesh the Fish Technician that they’re both empty #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/88Vs…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 me and Ramesh posing with the cups #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/91ER…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 they’re looking at the starfish! #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/49wM…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
RT @simpletailor2369 I’m watching the penguins, but I think the cups are more interested in each other #coolfrog pic.twitter.com/32iu…

Cool Beans Coffee @coolbeans
thank you, @simpletailor2369! :) we had a lovely time

Frognal Lane Starbucks @frognallane_sb
Cosigned! #coolfrog #starbeans
RT @coolbeans thank you, @simpletailor2369 :) we had a lovely time

Notes:

If you like, you can come say hi on twitter - I'm @krfabian, where I tweet about all manner of nerd stuff (and my original fiction).