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Equestria goes to war with pissrael

Summary:

Yes so that’s the title and those are the tags
Inspo: https://www.instagram.com/p/DZ-zVQSGHn8/?igsh=a2U2eGF0ajd4bGxt

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Once upon a time in the not-land of “Israel” the inglorious bastard sipped on his specially made dog-crushed glass of slop fluid, as he watched ai videos of himself gleefully and personally slaughtering innocent ppl. One of his evil henchmen approached him.

“sir” it said, “the USA has sent $400billion more dollars in arms and weaponry.”

“Excellent,” the wannabe antichrist himself said, his mouth watering at the thought of leveling entire civilizations.

”sir, they want to send over their military, but their arms are soread too thin between you and purging their own citizens.”

bibi put his poopy thumb to his face in thought. “Hmm” he said. Where would he get full access aid to a military as good at killing as the USA? Why, equestria of course!

”prepare the portal,” The devil himself said, “I want to go to equestria.”

back at the castle, princess Celestia received a mysterious letter from “PM netanyahu, aka the best person to ever exist ever, I’m so amazing everyone should worship the ground I walk on.” The letter smelled RANK though, so everyone had to wear a hazmat suit within 20 feet of it before they could even touch it. “Dear princess Celestia,” it read, “you are a powerful ally. I must meet with you for an urgent issue at once.” Of course, no pony in equestria had EVER heard of this “netanyahu” or “Israel” in their life. So she agreed to meet with him.

on the day of the meeting, netanyahu showed up in all his smegma-dookie ass bipedal demon glory. There were tabloid mics and cameras from everywhere to cover this historic event.

”greetings Celestia,” the goblin said, “I would like for us to form an alliance.”

”alright,“ said the regal and nonchalant princess Celestia, “how may I be of help?”

”you see,” this fugly bastard liar says,”my nation is fighting a noble war. We would like to request Military backup, as your nation has clearly one of the most strongest andExpansive militaries.”

princess celestia, being the no-violence chad that she was, expressed concern at this, saying “I’m sorry, but I cannot assist you in violent causes. Our military is only for protection.”

”how dare you!” Said the toddler manchild, “we are the greatest most realest nation in the world! You will regret making an enemy out of me!” And with that he stomped off like the toddler that he was.

the next day, tvs and newspapers all over the world and equestria replayed and highlighted the intense meeting. Everyone rallied behind the princesses decision, making the big man very mad.

”this is unacceptable!” He roared, “she shall pay for what she has done!”

so he went and did his favorite activity.

”Bomb canterlot.” Bitchenyahu grinned evilly. “Tonight the whole world will know what happens when you mess with the big guys.”

So back in equestria, celestia’s castle was bombed by none other than israel🤢🤢🤢🤢. Many ponies were injured, and incredible longstanding structures were destroyed. But the princess used her powerful magic to save the ponies from the deadly effects of the explosion.

”netanyahu, what is the meaning of this?!” She and her sister demanded. Big yahu flew by in an evil blimp and announced, “princesses, see what happens when you deny me. Tonight, you accept my offer or else.”

”never!” Celestia bravely said.

”very well,” said netanyahu the harbinger, “you have chosen war. By the end of this, I will have leveled all of your nation. And then, equestria will be mine! MUAHAHAHAA!!” He then flew away to his comfortable home that by the way it’s basement is collapsing as we speak bc we yes WE are blowing it up tn.

Everypony around murmured anxiously, possibly even more so as this whole thing was broadcasted live. ”sister, what do we do?” Luna asked.

”call twilight and her friends.” Celestia ordered. She could not win this war alone.

”princess, we came as fast as we could!” Twilight said as her and the girls came running in.

”twilight, we need you and your friends to wield the elements of harmony against netanyahu. He is waging war on equestria, and if he isn’t stopped soon, equestria could be destroyed.” So the girls took the elements and were on their way.

the next day netanyahu arrived as promised, bombs and tanks in tow. “Equestria was promised to me 3000 years ago. Tonight, I win this holy war.”

”not so fast, netanyahu!” Said the mane six, interrupting his shitty monologue. “You’ll never have equestria or hurt anypony again!”

”out of my way. I’m here to commit war crimes.”

Twilight and her friends start charging up. ”netanyahu, you are pure evil! We would give you a chance to change, but there is so much blood on your hooves.”

then the girls shone a bright blinding light, making netanyahu scream. “AAAGH!! NO!! SOMEONE SHOOT THEM!!”

Bullets came the girls way, but their magic shielded them, making them immune to harm. ”FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!” They said as they sent out a powerful rainbow beam netanyahu’s way. “NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” He screamed as the magic surrounded him, trapped him, and finally finished the job with a big, bright explosion. When all was said and done, all that was left of the pathetic excuse of a man was some burnt ashes. They had eviscerated him.

everypony in equestria jumped for joy, for they were saved! And everyone back in the real world too was jumping for joy. The girls got all the awards and stuff in equestria of course, but they also invited them over to receive the Nobel peace prize, a Pulitzer, a Grammy, every single award you can think of, and even seats at the UN. They politely declined the last one of course, since the UN was full of a bunch of lazy cowards who probably also needed eviscerating.

and so they lived happily ever after, with everyone getting their land back and no one ever having to think about pissrael ever again. The end❤️

no actually bonus scene: netanyahu woke up in a fiery hell. “W-what happened? Where am I?”

”you’re in Hell” said the devil from bible, “wow so you’re actually really evil.”

”what?! No! But I’m a billionaire! I can’t be here!”

”yeah you’re right, you’re going to superhell”

”what!? NOOOOOO!!!!!” But it was too late. Netanyahu was sent to superhell, where he was tortured relentlessly in all the ways he had subjected millions of innocent people to suffer through around the world, over and over and over and over for eternity.

the end❤️

Notes:

Sorry I’ll get back to my real fics now. maybe