Work Text:
N.
Gem's cosy cottage is, in Etho's opinion, very cottage-core. She has mastered the skill of making her starter bases feel like home, even if Etho knows she itches to build bigger, better, more ambitiously. Nevertheless, it's a cute cottage. He tells her so, and she sighs, ginger hair cascading down the side of the couch she's half-laying on.
"You're gonna strain your neck," he tells her then, not even looking up from his notebook. There's a sketch of a moss farm, even though he's one hundred percent certain he could make it on a whim, with no prior planning.
She huffs, and her feet that she has stuffed underneath Etho's thigh wiggle a little. It's an interesting sensation, but not entirely unwelcome. If he wanted to, he could move.
"My neck could snap and I wouldn't care right now," her voice is laced with dramatics when she says so, but with the corner of his eye Etho can see the way she adjusts herself just a little, so that her neck is a touch more supported.
He lets the silence hang for a while, wishing it would be enough to prob Gem into talking about what's troubling her. When he glances up from the paper, he can see the way she's worriedly chewing on her bottom lip, no doubt on her merry way to making herself bleed. He frowns.
"So…" he starts, trying to keep his voice light, and she groans, shoulders visibly squaring up. One of her feet moves out from under his thigh and she digs the heel into him instead, in retaliation. It's not hard enough to actually hurt.
"No," she says only.
"Gem."
She raises her head to look at him, and it has to strain her neck because she winces and lets it hang again. Blood must be rushing to her brain by now, but she doesn't seem to care. He repeats her name again, softer this time, and by the way she wiggles her foot back under his thigh, Etho knows he's won this one.
"It's just Pearl," she finally says, and Etho feels his eyebrow raise. That doesn't necessarily explain anything, even if Etho does have some idea of where this might be going. "Sometimes I feel like… I make it so obvious, you know? That I like her. I try to make it obvious…"
She finally changes her position, forcing her whole body to rest on the couch, curled into a shape that Etho can only call shrimp-like. Indeed, her cheeks are red from the blood that has rushed to her head, and her whole face in a way matches her hair. Etho hums, just to let her know he's listening.
"And I wonder if she… doesn't get it? If she's dense and not picking up the ques, or… if she's ignoring it hoping I will get the point and move on."
It takes all of Etho's willpower not to wince. He's certain he could help her in any other scenario—he's done so before, having her bending over from the ache in her belly from laughing too much in mere minutes whenever she's down—but this is different. Etho isn't great with love in general, and especially not when the love in question is as intricate and troublesome as what Pearl and Gem have going on.
"Have you tried being… uh, direct?" he offers, and cringes in his own head at how clueless he sounds. Gem shoots him an unimpressed look. "What? It's worth asking!"
"I just said I try to make it obvious!"
Etho closes his notebook and looks at her, trying to make himself look as patronising as possible—Gem squirms under his gaze before she reaches for a nearby pillow to chuck at him. He swats it away before it hits him.
"Have you tried the good, old 'Pearl, I am madly and deeply in love with you'?" he asks, completely ignoring her bewilderment. She sputters again, reaching for one more pillow to throw at him when he attempts his best Gem-impression, making his voice more high pitched.
Just because she's starting to look much too resigned for Etho's liking, he reaches out to gently caress her ankle. She cracks a smile at that, something small but grateful at the fact he's trying to comfort her despite not really liking to touch people at all. Something in her quietens down at it, and for a moment she just stares at her lap in silence, clearly thinking about it.
"I think… there's plausible deniability if I don't say it out loud…" she muses.
Etho hums with a nod. He guesses Gem is right. Flirting, friendly or romantic, is just that, for as long as one of the parties involved doesn't put a real name to it. Not having to admit that she really is in love with Pearl allows both of them to tether the line between friendship and perhaps something more. A safety cushion to fall back on just in case it's not reciprocated.
"And… are you okay with this? Don't get me wrong, I understand why you wouldn't want to say it but… you know."
Her brilliant, green eyes raise at him, and she worries her lip back between her teeth. "I don't know. Maybe I will get the courage someday, but for now, I don't really think risking a friendship is worth it."
He nods again, and the fingers he has wrapped around her ankle continue to caress her skin softly.
"At least you don't have to go through stuff like this," she jokes, and the smile on her lips is just a touch more honest now.
Etho raises his brow at her. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know, with Bdubs."
In the crooks of your body, I find my religion
Sappho
I.
Loving Bdubs is perhaps one of the easiest things of Etho's life. Bdubs gets him, and Etho gets Bdubs, and despite being polar opposites in many things in life, they fit together like two puzzle pieces. Spring or summer, autumn or winter, morning or evening, one season or the other, Hermitcraft or the Life Games, they end up together. Loving Bdubs comes to Etho like breathing, to the point it is not at all hard to admit that he does love the man.
It comes so easily that Etho isn't even worried about Bdubs loving him back—it's the second most obvious thing in Etho's life. It has taken them years to be where they are right now, but when Etho thinks back on their past, he finds that he cannot remember a single time when Bdubs didn't love him and he didn't love Bdubs.
Gem's words swim through his head as he puts away deepslate into his sorting system. He had stared at her for a moment, just blinking, unsure what to say. Gem has sensed his confusion, obviously, and rushed to clarify with words that only made Etho feel more confused. 'You two are such a perfect couple, I can't really imagine you worrying about things like that at all' she said, and Etho didn't have the heart to tell her that… Well.
Etho wasn't aware they are dating. He loves Bdubs, and there is not a shred of doubt in his heart about Bdubs loving him too, but that being said…
"I like what you've done with the place. The floor looks great," Bdubs says, and his fingers brush over the walls as he slowly moves towards Etho.
Etho perches over one of the chests and watches him for a moment. He seems so perfectly at ease around Etho, his eyes taking in the newly-built storage room, clearly pleased with the details of the floor. "The walls are a bit blank but… I will fix that, I swear," he says quietly, and watches as Bdubs' eyes dart towards them with a hum.
Is Bdubs aware of how people view them? Is Bdubs aware that they, supposedly, act like they are dating? Was it only Etho who had been oblivious? He knows there is no one else, neither for him nor for Bdubs, and they do things that seem awfully domestic sometimes, but he wonders if Bdubs knows what it looks like.
He walks over towards Etho finally, and perches over the same double chest, scooting closer until their shoulders brush against each other. Etho stays in place, and warmth radiates through his body.
"Have you put down a bed yet?" Bdubs asks.
There is one, downstairs, in the middle of the grass. Etho doesn't sleep in it often, using it only for the respawn mechanics of this world, but there is no… bed. For them.
"Ah. I was kind of hoping to crash at yours when I need to rest?" he tries, and smiles beneath his mask at the amused laugh that startles out of Bdubs. The man leans more against him, and the warmth in Etho's body spreads from the tips of his fingers all the way down to his toes.
"Plannin' on freeloading?" Bdubs teases.
He snorts a laugh of his own, and like always when it's Bdubs it comes out sounding awfully fond. He doesn't even have to look at Bdubs to know the way his smile softens because he's seen it happen a million times before. Their arms are pressed together all the way to their palms, and Etho doesn't even hesitate before he hooks his pinky over Bdubs'—he glances down at their hands and bites back a smile. His own hands are gloved, and although his fingers are longer than Bdubs', its very clear that the man's hands are slightly larger. Still, with their pinkies hooked together like this, Etho thinks they look quite perfect together.
"You two are such a perfect couple," Gem had said, and there's a weird sensation in Etho's belly as he watches their hands like this.
"Come on, sweetheart. You look like you could use dinner and some good sleep." Bdubs says finally, slapping his free hand on his thigh and standing up. He makes no move to unhook their pinkies, and instead lets their hands hang between them.
Etho raises a brow at him, but stands up anyway. He's never been able to tell Bdubs no. "What, you wanna wine and dine me?" he jokes, and watches in amusement as Bdubs' shoulders shake with his laughter.
"I think I've done that ages ago already!"
He has, perhaps, Etho thinks. He lets himself be guided towards Bdubs' base, because as opposed to some people, he does have a proper kitchen and a proper bedroom. It's small and cosy, just the way Bdubs likes, and it smells like Bdubs inside.
He doesn't hold Etho being a bit too silent over his head. He hums to the song playing on the jukebox, shuffles around the kitchen with ease, and lets Etho watch him in silence. He's pretty, the most gorgeous, really, carrying himself with so much ease it tugs at something inside Etho's chest.
Later, they climb upstairs, hands linked once again, and Etho loves him so much it leaves him a little breathless. He giggles all the way to Bdubs' bedroom because at this hour in the evening Bdubs grows grumpy, and pissy, and all shades of bitchy. Nails dig into the back of Etho's palm, and he only laughs louder, drowning out Bdubs' annoyed mumbles.
The bed is big enough to fit both of them, like it always has been. There wasn't even a question, Etho realizes, about whether or not Etho would sleep there. Bdubs throws himself onto the bed, back towards the wall like he always does, even though Etho knows he will migrate to lay on top of him during the night. It's soft and warm when he lays down next to Bdubs, and the leg that Bdubs throws over his lap doesn't feel suffocating like touching others almost always is. His hands—free of their gloves—rest on Bdubs' thigh, and he turns his head to watch Bdubs through half-lidded eyes.
There will be no one else. This is it, he thinks, as Bdubs shuffles around in bed, looking for that one, comfortable position he always falls asleep in. He tucks himself against Etho, plastered to his side, and hides his face in Etho's neck. The fact that he knows Etho won't mind, the fact that he huffs and puffs until Etho relents and throws and arm around him—there will be no one else.
He lays there for an two or three more hours, because it is too early to sleep. Sometimes he will let Bdubs wrangle him into bed like this, and soak in the closeness of their bodies, just because he can. His fingers find their way into Bdubs' curls, and he feels more than sees the way Bdubs simply melts against him.
Two hours after Bdubs falls asleep, he migrates his full weight on top of Etho. His bare chest and stomach press against him, warm skin on warm skin, and Etho simply wraps his arms around Bdubs' middle. He will snore and drool his way onto Etho's chest, and just because Etho might be a lovesick fool, he will not find it gross at all. In darkness, with his eyes shut, he moves one of his hands over Bdubs' back, making an invisible line over all of the freckles and moles that adorn Bdubs' back. He presses a kiss to the top of Bdubs' head, because he can. He presses one more, to Bdubs' exposed shoulder, because he loves Bdubs, and Bdubs loves him.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Etho wakes up alone. His hands adjust their grip on the pillow and he nuzzles his face into it with a grumble, unwilling to open his eyes just yet. There is no weight next to him or on top of him, and the bed feels too cold for Bdubs to be anywhere near.
Etho sighs. Damn Bdubs and his love of watching the sun raise every morning. He could stay in bed for longer—Bdubs would never hold it over him if he did. But the thought of finding Bdubs and plastering himself all over his back seems awfully tempting.
With another heavy sigh, Etho opens his eyes and starts to drag himself out of bed. He shivers as the early morning air hits his exposed chest, and he bends down in search for his shirt to cover himself up just a little.
When he makes his way downstairs, he finds Bdubs in the kitchen. He is shirtless, and the early morning rays make his skin look like it's glowing. His hair is still a mess and he still carries himself with the typical, morning slowness that Etho adores. He says nothing as he slides his way towards Bdubs, chest to Bdubs' back.
Bdubs doesn't even flinch at the sudden closeness. He leans his weight back against Etho, lets Etho press a short kiss to his cheek—a silent good morning.
Etho has never been a big talking person in the mornings. Even though Bdubs says his good morning out loud, voice still laced with sleep, Etho can't really bring himself to answer. His tongue feels like lead in his mouth, so he hums his answer and hides his face in Bdubs' neck.
Bdubs laughs, and it's warm and quiet, meant for just the two of them. His hands find Etho's arms, wrapped around his middle, and he lets them rest there, allowing both of them this much needed moment of silence.
The kitchen window is open, and Etho watches as the trees outside move with the gentle wind. It's the picture of perfect serenity—the birds are singing and the grass on Bdubs' lawn is swaying with the wind as well, vibrant green. The whole world is quiet for now, and it is just them.
"I made you coffee." Bdubs says, quieter than he would usually, but he makes no move to step out of Etho's hold. His hands tighten around the man's middle, and Etho loves him.
Do I want him as a friend, or a lover? It doesn't matter, I just want him in my life.
He's the sun on my sky.
Thea Phala
II.
There is nothing in this world Etho hates more than the sun, especially when it's blasting him in the face like it's doing right now.
"Come on, at least try to enjoy it!" Bdubs urges him, and any other day he would have probably been holding Etho's wrist and tugging him forward, but they are both already sweating and overheating. Any skin contact right now would make Etho shrivel up and die, he supposes.
He huffs behind his mask and begrudgingly walks forward. Their friends are already setting down their things on the pretty beach Jevin has found recently—it wasn't even a discussion when Grian decided to take matters in his own hands and force everybody to stop their projects just for a day to just hang around with each other for a while.
And so, Etho finds himself in a loose tank top and equally loose bermudas that are more… suitable for the beach than his usual attire. Despite Bdubs' unamused gaze, the mask stayed on.
Etho wishes he wasn't already overheating so he could appreciate the sight in front of him a bit more. As opposed to him, Bdubs seems to be all too comfortable in his own lack of clothes—the loose, unbuttoned shirt with a flower print is taken off before he even sets down his towel and other things, and Etho gets the glorious view of his tanned chest and stomach on full display.
"C'mere," Bdubs gestures at him as soon as Etho is done setting up the sun umbrella to hide under. His hands hang loosely on his sides and he stares with uncertainty at the sunscreen in Bdubs' hand. "Come on, just for a moment. I don't want the back of your arms to be burnt to a crisp, dummy."
Even though Bdubs can't see it, Etho pouts underneath his mask. He walks towards Bdubs, slow enough for him to roll his eyes—yet he doesn't rush it, just stands there and waits.
"You know I can do this alone, right?" Etho asks, standing close enough that Bdubs has to crane his neck up to meet his eyes. The expression on his face is fond. His hand gently spin Etho around, and then there is the sound of a bottle cap being popped open—Etho jumps at the feeling of Bdubs' hands with cold sunscreen on them at the back of his neck.
"Yea, but I just wanted to," Bdubs says softly. His fingers dig into Etho's neck and reach down, under the hem of the tank top, to spread the sunscreen lower. Etho has to admit, it is a nice feeling—Bdubs' hands on him always are, although he wasn't expecting to still enjoy the touch when they're both being borderline cremated in the sun.
To his credit, Bdubs tries his best to make it as quick as possible, and Etho bites back his complaint when the large hands disappear from his arms and Bdubs moves a respectful distance away. "There, silly. All done."
"Thank you… Want me to…?" he hesitates, turning around to point at Bdubs' hand and the sunscreen he's still holding.
"Only if you want to."
Etho would move mountains for this man if Bdubs only asked. He huffs and takes the sunscreen bottle in his hand, squirting some on his palms. Bdubs' shoulders are broad, and his arms and hands definitely tell a tale of him being a builder. He watches as Etho coats every single inch of his front in sunscreen, brows furrowed a little in concentration. "Turn around," comes softly, and Bdubs huffs, but turns around like Etho has asked.
There is an urge Etho feels to kiss him when he's done. He lets his hands rest on Bdubs' waist for a moment before he spins Bdubs around again and looks down, into those beautiful, large eyes of his. "Put some on your face too," he points out.
Bdubs definitely doesn't let the sunscreen soak all the way into his skin before he's in the ocean, and even from where he's laying down on the towel, Etho can hear his voice. He's loud, most probably trying to drown Impulse—which would be valid, in Etho's personal opinion—and the smile he has on his face feels borderline blinding.
"You two make me sick," comes from his side. Etho turns his head to look at Scar, who, similarly to him, is lounging under an umbrella on his towel.
He looks distinctly more relaxed than Etho, and Etho gives him twenty minutes max before he is whining that they too should join the fun in the water—and because Etho is sometimes a weak man towards his friends' requests, he knows they will go.
For now, he blinks at Scar, dumbfounded.
"With Bdubs," Scar says like it explains everything. "'s just too sweet for me. Makes me feel lonely."
"You," Etho points out, deadpan," have two boyfriends."
Scar waves his hand around with a dismissive click of his tongue, but his eyes move to the water and his lovers. The expression on his face visibly softens, and Etho thinks it's… cute.
"Well, sure. But you two act like you're in a constant honeymoon phase. It's cute, really," Scar assures him quickly.
Etho's eyes find Bdubs within seconds, and almost like there is an invisible magnet pulling the two of them together, Bdubs' head turns to him and he smiles, blinding and beautiful. His swimming trunks hang low on his hips, and he's already drenched in salt water.
"Stop drooling over your boyfriend, please," Scar says, and Etho flips him off without looking.
Just like he thought, not even twenty minutes later Scar starts bugging him about going for a swim too—their friends have moved to playing beach volleyball in the water, and it's very clear Scar wants to go too, but doesn't want to leave Etho alone. Sure, he relents with a roll of his eyes, and soon they are sprinting into the ocean as well.
For once, he manages to catch Bdubs off guard—the man yelps when Etho's arms drape around his shoulders. "Jeez, Etho!" He laughs, but his head moves to briefly lean against Etho. "Finally decided to join us?"
"Mn, Scar wanted to have some fun," he hums, watching as the ball keeps being passed around, now avoiding Bdubs while he talks to Etho. Tango passes it to Gem, and she throws it towards Skizz, who fails miserably and has to go chase it between the waves.
"And you didn't?"
Etho hums, tugging Bdubs closer to himself. The way the man lets himself be tucked against Etho's side makes the Canadian feel slightly dizzy.
"I was content just watching," he says, and it comes out distracted enough for Bdubs to glance up at him with an eyebrow raised.
"Oh, so you were ogling me?" comes Bdubs' answer, as teasing as ever. Etho laughs, shaking his head just slightly but… he was. Sort of. Kind of, if you think about it.
Instead of answering, he puts his strength into dunking Bdubs under the water. He laughs, loud enough to draw attention of people nearby, especially as Bdubs trashes around a little, trying to free himself from Etho's hold.
"You fuck!" Bdubs whines when Etho finally lets him come up, and just to avoid getting thrown into the water himself, Etho wraps his arms around Bdubs' neck and plasters himself all over his back. "Get- get off me!"
He's laughing, and his hair is all soggy and sticking to his forehead. The front of Etho's tank top starts to soak through because of the water on Bdubs' back, but Etho cannot bring himself to care—not when Bdubs laughs, loud and unashamed.
"Hey, catch!" is all of the warning he gives Bdubs before he jumps up a little and wraps his legs around Bdubs' middle.
Bdubs yelps, and they sway around dangerously for a moment before the man manages to regain his footing, and his hands grab Etho under the thighs to hold him up securely. He's whining about something, probably complaining about the borderline murder attempt, but the warmth inside of Etho's chest and belly keeps him too distracted to hear anything Bdubs says.
Bdubs holds him up like he weighs nothing, and even moves one hand down towards Etho's knee to prob him to cross his ankles in front of Bdubs. "You- could've drowned me!" He whines.
"Awh, my poor fragile flower, you can't handle a bit of water?" he teases, and knows it was the wrong thing to do when all Bdubs does is chuckle.
"Hey Etho? Breathe in."
Before he gets any chance to react, Bdubs is falling backwards, right onto an oncoming wave. Etho is sure he screams, because being plastered against Bdubs' back means he is falling backwards too, right into the water.
Water rushes all around him, and Etho gets no more than a split second to close his mouth and avoid genuinely choking himself through the mask. Bdubs doesn't keep them under water for long, probably remembering just that, and Etho clings to him as the man scrambles to stand up again.
"Come on, no one's lookin'. Stop waterboardin' yourself and just pull it down a little, would'ya?"
He pulls the soggy material of the mask just below his nose and hides his face in Bdubs' shoulder just in case. Bdubs is still giggling, and the hands holding him up are still there, although his thumbs started to caress Etho's skin gently.
"You okay?" he asks after a moment, starting to tread through the water towards the beach again.
"You're mean to me," he says, purposely trying to sound as whiny as possible, just because it gets Bdubs laughing again. His shoulders shake with it, and Etho has half the mind to stop himself from kissing Bdubs' neck.
"Excuse me, sir. It was you who tried drowning me first!" Bdubs argues, but there is no heat in his voice at all. He gets them out of the water and only adjusts his grip on Etho's legs when the taller man tries to free himself to walk over the rest of the way.
And then, just because it's Bdubs and Etho, Bdubs throws him back down onto the towel like Etho is nothing but a sack of potatoes. He barely gets the chance to oof his way into straightening up, before Bdubs falls right on top of him, dripping wet and laughing, cheeks tinted with pink from the sun despite the sunscreen.
"Get- get off me, oh my god!" Etho laughs, but they both know he makes no actual moves to free himself from under Bdubs.
Somewhere in the distance, there's a oh god, they're at it again, and Etho will later wonder if it was directed at them or someone else. For now, he brings his hand up and brushes his fingertips over the redness on the bridge of Bdubs' nose, with a whisper of "You will get a sunburn here, B."
No other word makes my mouth as tender as your name
Emery Allen, Soft Human
III.
Over the years, Etho has learned that no matter where they end up at, Bdubs' kitchens are always set up in the exact same way. A trashcan below the sink for easy access, utensils in the drawer and every pot and pan under the sun in the cabinet below. Light things in the cupboard above the stove, just in case, and every spice and glass container to the right of that. To the left, the assortment of teas, coffees and other beverages.
This time, it is no different. There's something slightly comforting about the familiarity of it, especially now, when he passes Bdubs the herbs he wants to use before Bdubs even asks for them. The tiny smile on Bdubs' lips is enough of a reward as it is.
"Ah. The… the pan, you know which one!" Bdubs says, snapping his fingers as he tries to think on how to describe it.
It's unnecessary. Etho leans down to grab the pan Bdubs always uses for chicken and passes it over before Bdubs figures out what to asks for. They stare at each other in silence for a moment, before Bdubs chuckles and turns back to the stove. "Well, aren't you just perfect."
"It's years of practice," he replies with a shrug, but it's not exactly a lie or an exaggeration.
They've done this particular dance before. Rare evenings that they both can spend together, they find themselves in Bdubs' kitchen, with Etho perched on the counter as they playfully fight about what to cook. Bdubs will swat him with the kitchen cloth and tell him to get off the counter for goodness' sake, but as he passes by, he will press a kiss to Etho's cheek.
Then, Bdubs will cook, because he loves it. Etho has learned how to not be a nuisance when Bdubs gets in the mood for cooking, and instead spent years perfecting the craft of being of help. Pots and spices, and dicing the ingredients just the way Bdubs wants him to, until he can reach around Bdubs and try to steal a piece of veg to try. Bdubs slaps his hands away gently, and calls him a little shit, but his voice is fond and he lets Etho hook his chin over his shoulder.
A slow song comes on the jukebox, and Etho feels the slight gasp that goes through Bdubs. The onions are in the pan, and he stirs around a little to get them to start caramelising, but they will be here for a while, and so Bdubs spins in his arms with a wide grin on his lips.
"I love this song!" he says, and Etho knows that, obviously.
There's a spring to his step as he starts humming it, and Etho watches him, unmoving, as he starts to gently sway to the song. He bites down on his lip, trying to stop a smile of his own, but it's pointless—not when Bdubs laughs this freely and reaches for him, forcing them to sway together.
"Gem is gonna come soon," he reminds Bdubs, and raises his hand high up to guide Bdubs into a spin. He looks gorgeous, cheeks tinted pink and mouth stretched in a smile, even if he has to reach over to stir the onions again before he finds his way back into Etho's arms like he always does.
"'s fine. We're just dancing!" He tries twirling Etho around, and huffs in mock annoyance when Etho actually has to bend his knees a little to do so, but when he stops in front of Bdubs again, all annoyance is gone from his face. "Hi there."
"Hi yourself," Etho whispers, and lets his hands stop at Bdubs' waist. "The onions," he reminds after that, and Bdubs sighs, turning around again.
"Oh, screw that, we are never caramelising those things again," he complains.
Etho's chest to Bdubs' back, they sway side to side to Bdubs' favourite song, even when Bdubs returns his attention to the onions for a moment.
"You like the pasta."
They both do, really—it's why they're cooking it tonight, knowing Gem's coming over. Still, it feels good to know that Bdubs would rather slow dance with him in the kitchen, even if Etho moves around in quite an awkward, clunky way. It doesn't matter, Bdubs has told him once, all that matter is that we're doing it together.
The onions will be fine—he tugs Bdubs to the middle of the kitchen again, and doesn't even try to stop the smile that starts to make his cheeks hurt as he twirls Bdubs around again. There's a bit of paprika on his cheek, and Etho gets the chance to wipe it away with his thumb.
When Gem comes, Bdubs takes her for an exaggerated dance in the middle of the kitchen too—it's nothing slow and romantic, but they laugh as he dips Gem down towards the ground, and they scream the song lyrics at each other while Etho stirs the onions some more. Really, it should not take so long to caramelise onions, he thinks.
You kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry. Only / the sun has come this close, only the sun.
Shauna Barbosa, GPS
IV.
The campfire next to Pearl's base is truly great. Not every Hermit has managed to make it for personal reasons, but the assortment of people around the fire is... big.
They're loud, relaxed, and most of them are tipsy on the stack of home brewed ale brought by Tango and Impulse. It's a great evening. From where Etho is perched, he can see Gem trying her best to stick close to Pearl, who for once seems to indulge her-her cheeks are pink from the ale too, and for a second Etho worries for the... safety of Gem's poor heart.
"Hey," comes from his left, and Etho jerks his head up. It's Bdubs. Of course it's Bdubs. He slides onto the log next to him, and the warmth radiating off him makes Etho relax just a little bit. "You doing okay over here?"
Etho isn't sure—he was doing great for the majority of the evening. He's sipped on the ale himself, admitted it was good, and one of the greasy sausages that Zed brought with him sat comfortably in his belly, making sure Etho stayed pleasantly tipsy and not… blackout drunk, thank you very much. He has, however, since then, ran out of steam.
"Just a bit tired," he settles on saying. His brilliant, brown eyes stare at Etho for a moment, and then he sways his whole body to the left, right into Etho.
"Want to get out of here?"
It's a quiet and considerate offering, perhaps the loveliest thing Bdubs has told him all day. They could, but Etho doesn't really feel like it. He likes sitting there, away from the main crowd but still close enough to feel the heat of the fire. He likes the tingle of ale on his tongue and the way the more he sips, the less conscious he is of pulling his mask down to drink. He likes Mumbo's sputters as Grian teases him about something, and the way Keralis and Xisuma have been inching closer to each other all evening.
He likes that Bdubs has found him, even when he knows he's been stealing glances Etho's way all night.
"Not really. I like this, just…"
"Needed some silence?"
Etho nods his head. Beside him, he can feel the way Bdubs leans back onto the palms of his hands. His legs stretch in front of him and he crosses his ankles. Because it's them and nobody else, Etho mimics his pose just to chuckle at how much longer his legs are. Bdubs scoffs, like he always does when Etho teases him about his height, and to placate him just a little, Etho leans over to rest his head on top of Bdubs'.
"That's surprising. I thought you'd be tired enough not to wanna touch anybody anymore," Bdubs whispers. It's gentle, and as he says the words out loud, he hooks a pinky over Etho's on the log behind them, a test to his own words.
He's not wrong. Part of the reason why he's decided to sit away from the main group and nurse his mug of ale alone was exactly because of that. Smoke clings to his clothes and hair, he can smell it even through his mask, and some of the soot from the fire creates a layer against every inch of his exposed skin. Really, touching anybody right now feels like hell on earth, and yet…
"You know I don't ever mind if it's you," he says.
He wonders how much Bdubs had of the ale—he's flushed red, but that happens under normal, sober circumstances too. It might just be a trick of the campfire's lighting, or it might be Etho's closeness for all he knows. He doesn't have a cup with him either, and he doesn't spare a single glance at Etho's.
"You're awfully cute when you're tipsy, did'ya know that?"
Bdubs had told him that before, years ago, when they were both dumber and a bit more reckless with each other. His heart hammers in his chest as he adjusts himself a little, body twisting halfway towards Bdubs. He noses at the side of Bdubs' head, breathing in the smell of his hair and the campfire that clings to him too.
"Dont'ya always find me cute?" he says, aiming for something teasing. It falls a little too earnest for his liking, and he tries to stop a wince at that.
At that, Bdubs' head finally turns towards him. He has a mole above his lip, and all of the time he has spent building outside recently made the slight freckles across his cheeks more pronounced. He's also glowing, tanned and gorgeous, and his eyelashes look awfully long from where Etho is sitting, staring at them.
"Silly," is all Bdubs says—more of a whisper, and his lips barely move, but the smile on his lips is soft and brilliant, and Etho's chest flutters. "Fishin' for compliments, no?"
Maybe it's the ale that's making him greedy, but Etho supposes he is. He sighs, playing up the dramatics a little bit, and leans his head back onto Bdubs'. He wants more of the ale. He wants to drag Bdubs somewhere away and spill his guts out to him, and make sure Bdubs knows. He wants Bdubs to selfishly pull his mask down and prove all of their friends right.
Bdubs moves his fingers, palm up, requesting for his hand, and Etho doesn't even think as he lets Bdubs have it. Their fingers lace together, and Etho cannot stop the boyish giggle that rips out of his throat.
She smiled at me, and I felt a sudden burning tenderness for this creature so like fruit and roses. I desired her like blue water at dawn.
Renee Vivien, A Woman Appeared To Me
V.
"Lean down, you freak of nature," Bdubs mumbles, and it sounds exasperated. Etho stares at him blearily, sleep-deprived, tired and aching, and dripping water all over Bdubs' bathroom floor. He leans down, and the towel that Bdubs drops onto his hair to get it a bit more dry feels like it weighs more than it should.
Etho is exhausted. It's been days since he's had proper sleep, and the most he can catch are fruitless, barely helping ten minutes naps, even in the comfort of Bdubs' bed. He knows it's bad when Bdubs grows worried.
So he let the man shepherd him into the tub, closed his eyes for three whole minutes as skilled fingers made their way through his hair—he smells like Bdubs now, and were he not almost keeling over from how exhausted he is, he would have found it awfully cute.
Every limb in his body hurts, and the rain wrecking havoc outside doesn't help. There's an ache in his wrist, bad enough to radiate upwards, into his elbow, rendering his entire right arm useless. For that thing, being exhausted is actually a bonus—he doesn't even have the strength to complain about the pain.
Bdubs has him in the bed mere five minutes later, nursing a glass of warmed up milk. He holds it in his left hand, afraid that grabbing it with his right would cause him to drop it and spill all over Bdubs' sheets, and he takes slow, tiny sips. He's leaning against Bdubs' chest, and the warmth of him, the milk, and the sheets Bdubs throws around them has him feeling a bit fuzzy.
"Electric current units?" Bdubs asks after a while, and only then does Etho glance up, then to the side. There's a crossword sitting on Bdubs' bedside table, and he's leaning over, working on it.
"What? Say that again?"
"Electric current units. For, uh… seven."
Etho blinks. "Amperes?"
Bdubs mouths the word as he checks it in, and then makes a soft aha noise. Etho watches in silence as he reads out another one, and answers it immediately. 28th US president. Something, something, Etho isn't sure.
"Carrot relative," Bdubs reads after a moment.
"Celery, uh, cumin, colander…" Etho stars listing, and only stops when Bdubs makes says nuh uh. "For how many?"
"Seven also."
Etho takes a sip of his milk while he thinks about it. His eyes feel heavy, and his brain feels too slow to worry about carrot relatives, but Bdubs looks so lovely, focused on the crossword and trying to keep Etho's brain from overthinking.
"Try parsnip?" He suggests after a moment, and gets a kiss to the top of his head as a reward when it turns out to fit.
Bdubs reads him a quote from Macbeth that's in the crossword, and they only guess it because Neptune is mentioned. There's something about shirts and Alberta, and names of actresses Etho doesn't necessarily remember, but before he knows, Bdubs gently pries the now empty mug from Etho's hands and places it to the side.
"Come on, sweetheart. Get some sleep, yeah? You're safe here."
He knows he is. There is no safer, warmer place on the whole wide earth than Bdubs' bed and the comfort of his arms. Etho belongs here, and this is what he considers home. He tries telling Bdubs so, but his tongue is heavy in his mouth.
Lips on top of his head again, a feather-light kiss. Etho's eyes flutter shut, and Bdubs' voice fades into silence slowly.
I twist like a sunflower at the sound of your voice.
Kait Rokowski, The Civil Guillotine
+I (VI)
Etho doesn't wake up alone. There is a warm body underneath him, and he can feel the way Bdubs breathes by the way his chest moves up and down beneath him. That, in turn, must mean that it is incredibly early, or Bdubs has stayed in bed with him.
There is a hand in his hair, not even playing with it, just resting against it. When Etho finally decides to pry his eyes open and glance up, his breath gets caught in his throat—there Bdubs is, half sitting up, with a book held in his hand. His hair is a mess, and there's the faintest shadow of a stubble on his face that makes him look more rugged and, in Etho's honest opinion, more beautiful.
"Morning," he says, despite his urge to stay silent and continue watching Bdubs like that, peaceful and serene. Brown eyes move towards him, and Bdubs smiles.
"Hi there, sweetheart. It's technically more the afternoon, but…"
Etho tries to straighten up and get a closer look at Bdubs when he hears that, but the man only clicks his tongue and pushes down on his shoulder, keeping Etho pressed against himself. He turns so his cheek rests on Bdubs' pec then, and glances back up.
"And you stayed with me?"
The hand in his hair begins to softly move through it, untangling the slight knots that appeared during the night. Bdubs simply nods his head, face open and fond, and Etho loves him. Despite the earlier attempt at keeping Etho laying down, he manages to weasel his way onto his palms, face in Bdubs' neck.
"Hey, that tickles," Bdubs laughs as Etho's nose brushes over his neck, and the heart in Etho's chest hammers as he brings his lips to Bdubs' ears.
He says it then, just for the two of them. He feels Bdubs take in a shuddering breath at that, as if he was not excepting the words that left Etho's mouth. But his lips are stretched in a smile, and his cheeks start to grow pink, so Etho places a quick kiss on them, delighting in the laugh that startles out of Bdubs.
"I know," is all the answer he gets, but Bdubs is already angling his face up.
"And? Don't you have anything else to say?" He asks, purposely trying to make himself sound more whiny.
Bdubs laughs, and their legs are tangled beneath the sheets. Etho has a raging headache from sleeping so long after not sleeping at all, and when a hand on his nape pulls him up, closer to Bdubs' face, Etho goes willingly.
This, he thinks, smiling into it, might the closest he will ever get to embracing the sun.