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Laughing, music, people actually getting along, the rich aroma of food continually served in the corner – there are small moments in politics that would remind people that they are human. Down are the hard built defenses, and the color people are wearing only aligns to the theme of the event. The Senate Reunion dinner is one of those rare moments where people come together to honor the legacy of the institution.
The warmth is unmistakable, and in a quiet, private moment, Risa smiles to herself. In her mind are hopes that despite political differences, there could be a time where they can come together and work towards the betterment of a Nation they all love. That has always been her mindset– to keep being hopeful when it’s easier to give up.
Her thoughts are interrupted by a rather welcome intrusion: Tita Helen Gamboa.
“Risa,” the older woman approaches her with already open arms. She smiles, and willingly moves towards the embrace, tightening it once she’s fully engulfed.
“Tita, I’m always so glad to see you. Kamusta po kayo?” She pulls back, only slightly, still while their arms rest on the other’s.
“I don’t see you often. That’s the issue.” Helen throws that clearly as an accusation – a disapproving tone coloring her voice. “Kailangan ba annual lang ang pagkikita natin? May event dapat palagi?”
“I’m sorry, tita,” Risa laughs and shakes her head. “Sen Tito is the one to blame ha. Do you know how many committee assignments I have?” The two women share a laugh.
“Hija, sana the next event I see you will be your wedding ha.” That statement shocks Risa, a combination of stutters and laughs from her lips.
“What?” Helen probes. “Jusko, the man you will marry will be the luckiest in the Philippines. Or the most unfortunate if he manages to upset you. Wala ba talagang nag p-pursue sayo? Or walang pumapasa?”
“Tita, actually …” In hindsight, she thinks she’s been saved by the bell because Tito Sotto comes into frame, his arm resting on Helen’s hip.
“Anong pinaguusapan niyo?” The older woman pats his chest twice.
“Nothing that concerns you.” There was no snark in Helen’s remark; only a familiarity and a comfort that can be achieved by building a life together.
“Risa, excuse me ha. In demand si first lady of the Senate, may naghahanap.”
“Sure, tita,” the older woman places her hands on Risa’s shoulder, and kisses her cheeks; one each side. “Itutuloy mo pa yung kwento mo ha. Let’s find a schedule, I mean it, Risa.”
The couple makes their way to the other side of the room, and Risa lets out a breath that she’s been holding. Her eyes scan the room, and it meets the gaze of a certain gentleman from Valenzuela. Already seated on one of the tables – already seeking her.
The small consolation of being a single senator who doesn’t usually bring plus ones to these kinds of events, is that the staff apparently believe that misery loves company and sit them together. This is the case for Sherwin and Risa. She makes way to the table, clad in a modern filpiniana top and a structured skirt, with heels with enough height for an evening formal. Win doesn’t realize that his breath has hitched because it happens far too often in her company.
He stands up and pulls the chair behind for her. His hands fall to his side and it brushes against her own, the contact bringing a current of electricity. Risa looks down to their hands, and up to him – already with a sheepish laugh across his face. Premeditated damage.
“Na-corner ka dun ah,” Win notes with a laugh.
Risa takes a sip of her water and replies. “Naku, alam mo naman si Tita. She senses things before the general public does. “Buti nalang dumating si Tito Sen.”
“What was she asking?” Win leans closer to listen to her – it’s difficult to hear conversations with the live band playing their hits and it’s an excuse to be closer to her, he will take it.
“Kung wala daw bang pumapasa sa standards ko enough to get married again. She shoots him a knowing look, a slight smirk making its way to painted lips.
“And? What’s your answer?” Win brings up the glass of whiskey up to his lips only as an attempt to hide the smile blooming – heartbeat quickening with the controversy of someone meeting the Risa Hontiveros’ standards, and that controversy is currently holding a glass of Macallan, sitting beside her, and unbeknownst to all except the pair of them, has had her initials engraved on his cufflinks.
“I will allow the gentleman from Valenzuela to come up with speculations.” She leans closer, almost like a challenge, but to an observer, it only looks like the usual Senator Sherwin and Senator Risa– absorbed in their own worlds while talking about bills, amendments, and resolutions.
Their bubble is unfortunately popped when the room erupts into cheers and whoops and clapping – and apparently, them chanting her name. Risa! Risa! Risa! Go, Sen Risa!
She blinks, once, twice, then the main vocalist of the band says to the mic: “Popular demand, Sen Risa! Pagbibigyan mo ba ang bayan sa request nila?” She looks around all of them looking at her, waiting for her to come up on stage. She looks at Sherwin who just looks amused – the traitor.
“Let’s go, Ris!” Migz shouts from one of the tables. She sighs, and gets up straightens her top as she walks towards the stage. When she grabs the microphone, more cheers erupt. She talks to the band– asking what’s in their reportoire, what they can play, until they settle on a song.
A hush settles in the room as the first few notes play. Risa closes her eyes and takes a breath as she prepares to start.
Sherwin has his attention fixed on stage. He knows this song and has heard it multiple times. Her humming it while doing the dishes, her singing some parts of it when preparing her tea, her singing along whenever it comes on the radio, but he hasn’t paid enough attention to really hear the lyrics.
Risa settles on the stool center stage.
The chords of the piano carry across the huge hall and she starts singing:
Anong kailangan kong gawin upang malaman mo
Ikaw ay minamahal ko?
It is at this moment that Sherwin refused to believe that the saying voice of an angel is an exaggeration, because that is exactly how Risa sounds now. She is illuminated by lights of purple hue – her favorite, he knows, and in that moment, no one existed in the room for him, but her. She doesn’t just sound like an angel – she looks like one. One that the heavens sent especially for him.
Kailangan ko'y katulad mo sa buhay kong ito
Nag-iisa lang sa mundo
Risa is comfortable on-stage and that much is clear to everyone. Before politics, before being the face of worthy causes, there was theatre. A love that she has promised to go back to when the nation requires less of her, when duty has loosened its grip on her. Her gaze sweeps the audience – meeting gazes, smiling at some points, welcoming all those who are watching inside the world that she has created through words not her own.
Dati'y nasaktan na ako, takot nang magtiwala
Ayoko na sanang umibig pa
If someone looks at the notable Senator Sherwin Gatchalian now, they will not think that he is part of the institution they are currently celebrating. For if one looks at Sherwin Gatchalian, they will see a man who has fallen deeply in love, a man who thanks God everyday for the woman in front who has captured an entire audience the way that she has captured his heart not during a particular moment, but in small things in the past three years that opened up his life. In the way that she is determination come to life, in the way that her heart is bigger than anyone can ever explain, in the fact that the senator who will challenge a department secretary to go ahead and file a case against her is actually clingy – not that he will complain about that.
The Ballroom has been converted to Risa’s personal stage– everyone halted conversations, even the waiters had stayed put to listen. Yet, despite close to a hundred people that existed in this room tonight, Risa locks gaze with him – with Sherwin as she sings the next lines.
Ngunit ika'y ibang-iba sa lahat ng nakilala
Risa took note of everything. She prepared, she’s well-read and aware, but all of those things did not prepare her to create words that would perfectly describe what she felt, and how she felt about him. Hope had been her strongest anchor, but there came a time when she was ready to put love away from her list of her priorities, from her wishes. She understood that she had her time, and she cannot be greedy, but there are nights that she longed for company; someone who would understand her, someone who will not ask her to be any less than herself, someone who would be there to protect her without erasing the belief that she can take care of herself. Men came and men went – loving some parts of her without understanding the whole of her. Until he came along, until a seatmate became a friend, until the friend became something more, until something more became something constant, until that consistency gave her hope. She had almost accepted that love wasn’t in the cards for her, but his presence made her question that – and whatever it is that God had planned, she smiles. Softly, eyes turning glassy – maybe from the lights, maybe from the overwhelming gratitude that she feels while looking at him: Sana ay ikaw na nga.
Sherwin tries to keep his composure. He heard every word and understood everything that it meant, he’s smiling too, and now his thoughts drift just for a moment to a particular drawer in their bedroom.
The function goes on for another couple of hours. Risa leaves fifteen minutes ahead of him, just enough time to not cause questions, but they both arrive at the same destination. Sherwin’s condo in Rockwell.
In the past three years, his house became theirs. From the minimalist bachelor’s pad that it had been, now it contained signs of her. The tea drawer containing her favorite kinds and not much else, the scented candle that rested atop the counter is one that she chose, a carpet that she brought home from an international trip, and flowers– fresh flowers in the vases in the living room. This place is now a witness to their growing story.
When he arrives, Risa is already settled in on their couch. A blanket covering her legs, and a cup of tea between her palms. Another cup resting on the coffee table for him.
He approaches from behind the couch, rests his hands on her shoulders and kisses her forehead, then her cheek, then a soft one landing on her lips. Risa smiles.
“Hello.”
“Hello, my love.” He unbuttons the top of his barong and flops into the couch beside her. He takes the cup of tea, grateful for the warm drink after the alcohol he has consumed during the function.
They settle into a comfortable silence, only the sound of Manila muted from their own little world. Sherwin only watches Risa as she enjoys her cup of tea – the look of admiration and awe apparent on his features.
“Senator Gatchalian, I’m not going anywhere. Hindi mo ako kailangan panoorin.” She says softly as she places the cup back on the table.
“I hope so...” Risa turns her head toward him. The answer is meant to be lighthearted. A teasing response to the way he has been staring at her all evening.
Instead, Sherwin's smile falters into something quieter. Something thoughtful.
“Win?” He lets out a small laugh and rubs a hand over his face.
“Sorry.”
“For what?”
“Sorry, give me two minutes I’ll be right back.” He all but sprints outside the room, leaving Risa highly confused.
“Win, san ka pupunta?” Sherwin only laughs. The sound disappears down the hallway.
Risa hears his footsteps from their bedroom upstairs.After two minutes, like he promised he returns– but now, he returns with a purple velvet box in his hands. She freezes. The entire world freezes with her, even her breath seemed to have stopped.
“Win, that’s not…” She sits up straight from her comfortable position from the couch, mouth hanging in surprise. “Oh–” That is all she manages.
Sherwin looks almost embarrassed. Which is absurd considering he is holding an engagement ring, and sits beside her again, this time closer.
“I bought this two years ago.” They have only been dating for three. “Well, two years and two months if we’re going to be very specific.”
“Sherwin.” She whispers, she attempts to say more, but words don’t find her now. She can only press both palms against her face, heart threatening to beat out of her ribcage.
Risa presses both palms against her face.
“Look,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn't planning on proposing tonight. I always knew I would, but I have always waited for the right time.” Classic Gatchalian with his computations.
“But then you sang that song. A song I’ve heard you sing multiple times, but you sang it to me, Ris.” His laughter fades. Until only honesty remains. “Wag ka na magtanong o makuntento sa sana.”
Sherwin lowers himself onto one knee, his hand resting on Risa’s lap. The room becomes impossibly still, and her eyes fill with tears. He opens a velvet box to reveal a diamond ring.
“Ris, earlier tonight,” he says softly, “you stood in front of a room full of people and sang about hoping someone was the one, and all I could think was that I've spent years hoping the exact same thing.” Countless weddings, his friends' teasing.
His thumb brushes across her knuckles.
“You've changed my life in every possible way. Andaming bagay ang naintindihan ko nung natuto ako magmahal katulad mo.” His voice shakes now.
“I love that you fight for people. I love that your heart is too big for your own good. I love that every trip we take somehow ends with you making friends with the hotel staff, at araw-araw nagpapasalamat ako sa Panginoon na isinama niya ako sa listahan ng mga minamahal mo.” A tear slips down Risa's cheek, it mirrors the tear that Sherwin tried to blink away, but he smiles anyway.
“I don't need forever to know.”
“Sherwin...”
“I knew the first time I watched you walk into a room and somehow make everybody in it want to be better.”
He takes a breath.
“Risa, mahal...” For the first time all evening, the usually eloquent senator seems to run out of words. Only the truth remains. “Whatever comes next, the victories, the defeats, yung mga katrabaho natin na nagpapasakit ng ulo mo, the ordinary Tuesdays, birthdays, rest days, I want all of it with you.”
The ring catches the warm light of the lamp that illuminated the room
“Will you allow me the honor to be the person that stays beside you?”
Risa laughs through her tears. A beautiful, broken sound. The kind born from overwhelming happiness.
“Sherwin Gatchalian.”
He immediately looks worried.
“That's my name.”
She shakes her head because despite the severity of the moment he finds the energy to make a joke. Laughing. Crying. Entirely herself. Then she cups his face with both hands in the way that she always does.
She smiles, wide– the kind that makes her cheek hurt and she starts to nod.
“Yes, yes, I will marry you.”
Sherwin's breath catches. He almost doesn’t process it, trembling hands pull the ring out of the box and slips it into her ring finger. A perfect fit like it was always meant to be there. Risa wraps her arms around his neck, joining him kneeling on the floor, they share a deep kiss in spite of laughs and tears and disbelief that it’s happening.
Their foreheads rest together and the ring catches the light between them. Tomorrow, it will be a national headline, but tonight - tonight is only for them.
"Naalala mo yung kanta?" Risa laughs through her tears.
"Oo naman.." She presses a kiss to his cheek.
"Hindi na sana."
Sherwin closes his eyes. And for the first time in years, the question no longer exists.
Risa smiles.
"Ikaw na nga."