Work Text:
“Did you get her, Tsukki?”
“Calm down, Yamaguchi,” Kei replies without any heat, golden gaze locked onto the gacha animation. His index finger is tapping almost restlessly at his phone’s screen – he’s seen it countless times before, so why does it feel so long now? – when a familiar energetic voice chimes in his headphones, “The world is ours! Let's keep rolling on together, shall we?”
Kei’s heart leaps when her visage fills the screen. An explosion of pink and red strawberry-shaped sparkles fills the screen as a silhouette pops out of a huge cake. Flashing lights usually bother him, but when they highlight every inch of her glorious pixel visage.
Two small strawberry clips adorn fluffy brown hair (god, what would it feel like to run his hands through it?), which drapes down her shoulders, the exposed olive skin driving Kei’s teenage boy hormones wild. The puffs of her sleeves and skirt paired with white frills remind him of pink frosting with whipped cream on top, a sweet treat, but not as sweet as the rush of happiness that floods him at finally attaining his 6th copy. Not as sweet as the mischievous grin on her face, the little fangs snagging his attention for far longer than it should have. The hearts adorning her outfit mirror the hearts forming in Kei’s eyes as his gaze sweeps over the splash art once more. (If only he could be the fork held lovingly in her arms—)
Tadashi’s voice breaks through the immersion. “Oh, you got another five-star Zemu Prime! Congrats, Tsukki!”
“She looks so short,” says Kei, immediately placing the goddess of a character in the DPS position at the front of the line. Tadashi wisely holds his tongue as all the attack, crit rate, and crit damage weapons, toppings, and other charms transfer from his widely ignored, optimized-for-DPS meta unit, Juri. Kei begrudgingly admits that the black flame animations melting the dark chocolate cream puff-themed warrior is… not bad. (He has not used Juri since she ruined his pity on the last Zemu banner. She can stay at level 1 for all he cares.)
“Everyone’s short compared to you, Tsukki.”
“I meant the other characters, Yamaguchi.”
“Isn’t she around the same height as Juri and Rei, though?” Tadashi points towards the third member of the team, a reliable debuffer in shades of purple and yellow, their “cool” personality inspired by an ube-keso ice cream cup. “Eh? You didn’t use Rei’s special skin?”
Kei angles a withering glare at his friend. “Not everyone wanted Rei’s special swimsuit skin for their birthday, Yamaguchi.”
Heedless of Kei’s war flashbacks, Tadashi continues, “As if you won’t be down bad when Zemu’s skins come out.” They both ignore the nosebleed that Kei discreetly tries to wipe away at the thought of his girl clad in a pink-ribboned bathing suit with sparkles and strawberries. “I think I saw leaks about Miya!Zemu.”
Kei’s right eye twitches as he remembers the words of his zoomfs (zemu oomfs).
@loveKITAzemu: Miya Zemu is arguably the best. Her support build is based on the small things I give her every day, and the end results are no more than byproducts of that.
@aran_ojiro_official: Getting my best girl tomorrow! 😊 #ZemuWINpact #IGiveMyFirstLoveToZemu
The temptation to block them still nags at Kei’s nerves, but Tadashi says he needs more oomfs with similar interests. Tadashi called it exposure therapy after a dark storm cloud of a mood hung over his head when he saw @zemusapplepie posting all his exclusive, imported merch of zemu and what appeared to be his original character with the hashtag, #kenzemu. What a silly name.
That was all fine and dandy, until @zemusapplepie reposted a lengthy meta thread about how Ushi!Zemu offers a better design and kit utility as a sea-themed support unit than Zemu Prime. Kei doesn’t care. He really doesn’t. The fact that he created his own response thread refuting those ridiculous arguments against his fave is not indicative of anything.
Coincidentally, that was also the day Tadashi asked if Kei was a non-sharing yume shipper.
Naturally, Kei’s response was a simple, “Who even has that kind of energy to be that obsessed?” Tadashi wisely did not comment on the custom-ordered Zemu plushie in his arms, the limited-edition shirt with her face on it, or the strawberry-shortcake themed headband Kei swears does not remind him of her. Ever.
He has a perfectly healthy relationship with this fictional character, thank you very much.
Just because the game is a gacha death trap with characters, at affection level 100, asking to call you by a nickname doesn’t mean he spent hours spamming gifts and doing Zemu’s bonding quests. If he set his nickname as “Keki”, which is not meant to be a pun on a strawberry shortcake (How silly. He’s not even short), but to be her “cake” is another thought entirely and…
He is not blushing. No, dear reader, you are sorely mistaken if you think his face has gone tomato-red.
Tobio’s voice is a torturous interruption in the reprieve of their well-deserved break. “Tsukishima! Stop thinking about your pixel girlfriend and focus on practice!”
Golden eyes narrow at him from where he and Tadashi have claimed a corner of the gym as a rest spot. “As if you don’t have multiple copies of Juri.”
Tobio’s cheeks turn bright red, but he gives a sharp nod. “She is my best girl, but I know when to prioritize my time with her. You, on the other hand, need to focus.”
Kei turns away. “Tch.”
“Wow, even Kageyama knows you’re down bad…”
“Can it, Yamaguchi.”
Daichi sighs. “Regardless, you probably shouldn’t be blaming games in the middle of practice.”
“Don’t blame him,” chimes an audience member in their little peanut gallery. Armed with a notebook and camera, their resident journalist for the school paper sits on the bench next to Kiyoko and Yachi. “Zemu-chan is very cute and popular these days. It’s no wonder everyone is pulling for her the second the banner drops.”
The entire gymnasium falls silent.
It takes a few pen taps on their notebook before they notice everyone staring. Startled, Eri nearly falls off the bench. “Wh-what?! Don’t look at me like that! It’s in the metrics!”
“I didn’t know you were into those kinds of games, Eri-chan!” Ryuunosuke grins.
As Kei watches Tadashi gather the courage to ask for Eri’s UID, he sighs… but thanks his lucky stars that he and Zemu can now be left alone together in peace—
Fweeeet!
Coach Ukai’s whistle shatters his fantasy. Submitting defeat, Kei puts his phone away and tries to get his head in the game.
No matter what Tadashi believes, Kei is not a riako. He does not have honest-to-god real feelings for Zemu Langpakundangan.
Yes, she’s a video game character, but so many of his peers are even worse (looking at you, Tadashi) with their “waifus” and “husbandos”. He absolutely does not spend entire nights lying awake in bed, thinking about what it would feel like if Zemu were real. If she were a classmate he could see every day, sending him a sunshine-grin from where she’d sit behind him.
She’s a massive nerd. Maybe she’d like study dates? We could share cake together after. What kind of music would she even like to listen to while studying? Maybe she’d prefer something more exciting, like a museum date?
His chest tightens as he comes across another art post that he could never send to Zemu. Kei adds another song to their private playlist. O giliw ko, miss na miss, kita. Sana’y lagi kitang kasama…
It’s almost two am, after hours of scrolling through the same new gifsets and fan art, and he finds a new post: Writing commissions open! Discount for yume and ocs in honor of #ZemuDay! From one of his favorite fanfic authors, @thewriteway.
He’d promised his wallet that he would be on a commission ban, especially after spending on Tadashi’s birthday, but…
No. No buts. Kei would be strong. He is not succumbing to his base desires of wanting to imagine how it would feel like for Zemu’s fingers to run through his hair or to hold her in his arms and snuggle his face in her chest—
thewriteway: That’ll be 67,000 yen. Can you send me a description of your OC, please?
When he looks down at his phone, the money has been sent, along with picrews of his self-insert. Maybe he is a riako, but at least he’ll be a happy one.
zemu5ever: He’s taller than her, and he has glasses with frames about the same thickness as hers. Tall. They have a height difference, good for cuddling.
thewriteway: Hmm, that’s a TALL order.
He bites back a groan.
thewriteway: Like around 190 cm?
zemu5ever: 190.1 cm, actually.thewriteway: Wait… Is this Tsukishima-san?
Fuck.
(art by @Charli_jpeg)