Chapter Text
Yushi has been at his desk since eight in the morning, his computer open and his coffee going cold beside him because he keeps forgetting to drink it. He has a deadline, a report to submit, and it is taking him away from his favorite people.
At 11:00 he saves his file, stretches his neck, and realizes he is hungry. This is not unusual. What is unusual is that the kitchen is quiet. No sounds of anything cooking. No smell of anything either. He checks the time. 11:15.
Sion had said he would cook lunch.
Yushi gets up from his desk and walks to the living room doorway. The TV is on. Loud. Some action game, the kind with a lot of explosions and dramatic music and characters yelling things at each other. And in front of it, on the couch, are three people who are very much not cooking lunch.
Sion is in the middle, controller in both hands, leaning slightly forward the way he does when he is concentrating. Saku is on his left with his own controller, feet up on the couch, yelling instructions at the screen like volume alone could change the outcome. Ryo is on Sion's right, also with a controller in hand, quieter than Saku but just as focused, his eyes following every movement on the screen. An explosion goes off on screen. Ryo groans. Saku screams. Sion laughs.
The kitchen is empty. No Sion. No lunch.
He briefly considers reminding Sion, but goes back to his desk instead.
At 12:00 he saves his file again and goes back to the living room. They are still on the couch. The game has progressed to a louder level. The TV volume has gone up, or maybe that is just Saku. It is sometimes difficult to tell the difference. Sion is saying something to Ryo about strategy, pointing at the screen, and Ryo is nodding seriously. Saku is not listening to the strategy, just pressing buttons very fast and hoping for the best.
Nobody looks up.
Yushi watches the three of them—the back of Sion's head, the side of Saku's face, Ryo's careful eyes on the screen. He goes to his room for his wallet, then takes his keys from the hook by the door.
From the living room, the game continues. An explosion. Saku yelling. Ryo complaining. Sion laughing again.
Yushi puts on his shoes. He opens the front door, steps out, and closes it behind him. Outside, it is a regular Saturday. He walks to the car and gets in.
Through the walls of the house he can still hear, faintly, the sound of the game. Underneath it, Saku's voice and Sion's laugh.
He sits in the driver's seat for a moment before finally starting the car.
The fast food place is not far. He orders at the counter: a burger, fries, and a drink, then finds a table by the window, sits down, and unwraps everything neatly. He takes out his phone and types, Feed the kids. He sends it, places the phone faceup on the table, then picks up his burger and takes a bite.
The screen stays dark.
He chews, swallows, and takes another bite.
Still nothing.
He breathes in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth before taking a sip of his drink and reaching for a fry. The phone remains dark.
He finishes his lunch alone, something he hasn't done in a very long time. He doesn't check his phone again.
The house is exactly as he left it. He can tell before he even opens the door. The same explosions. The same Sion laughing. Yushi unlocks the door, steps inside, and takes off his shoes.
Nobody notices he is back.
He goes to his desk, opens his computer, and gets back to work.
His message is still unread.
He is maybe thirty minutes in when he hears it.
"Daddy, I'm hungryyy—"
Saku's voice drifts in from the living room, sounding like he has only just remembered that food exists and can now think of nothing else.
Yushi keeps his eyes on his screen.
After a moment, he hears the soft sound of footsteps stopping outside his office door. A small knock. The door opens.
"Yushi." Sion's careful voice tells Yushi he already knows exactly what he did—or did not. Yushi does not look up from his computer. The footsteps draw closer. A warm, gentle hand settles on his shoulder.
"Love… I'm sorry."
Yushi keeps his eyes on the screen and continues working. He had expected this to be the most stressful part of his day. Instead, it is the only quiet part of it.
The door bursts open, as it always does when Saku is the one opening it. Ryo comes in after him.
"Daddy! Dada!" Yushi turns his chair. He reaches down beside his desk and picks up the paper bag he had set there when he came in and holds it out to Ryo.
"Lunch. You and Saku can eat in the kitchen."
Saku's eyes go wide. He grabs the bag, peeks inside, and makes a sound like he has just been handed something precious. "Waaah—"
"Kitchen," Yushi reminds. They go. Saku is already talking about what is inside the bag, Ryo follows behind him, the door swinging shut. From down the hall, Saku's voice continues, delighted, growing slightly more muffled.
Yushi turns back to his computer.
Sion pulls out his desk chair and sits down. He doesn't say anything. Yushi doesn't look at him. The cursor keeps blinking on the open document while, outside the office, the twins eat lunch.
It is a long two hours when Yushi finally turns off his computer. He remains seated, rolls his neck slowly from left to right and winces at the ache. He's spent the entire day at his desk. His shoulders feel like something that has been left out in the cold too long.
He gets up and walks out of the office with Sion following behind.
In their bedroom, Yushi goes to his side of the bed and lies down sideways. The mattress dips beside him.
"Love," Sion says.
He rests a hand on Yushi's shoulder, gentle enough to ask instead of assume.
Yushi rolls onto his stomach without a word. Sion takes it as permission, shifts closer, and starts kneading the tightness from Yushi's shoulders. By the time his hands reach the base of Yushi's neck, Yushi breathes out slowly. Without warning, Yushi pushes himself up and sits, turning toward Sion. Sion meets his eyes.
Yushi holds his gaze before he speaks. "Buy me strawberries."
Sion blinks. "...Right now?"
Yushi just looks at him. Sion nods once, gets to his feet, and searches for his wallet with the determination of a man who has accepted his fate. He finds it and heads for the door, then pauses and turns back.
"Copy, baby. I'll buy strawberries." He smiles, just a little. "I'll come back right away. I love you." Then he's gone.
Yushi lies back down on the bed and closes his eyes.
The counter is full when Yushi comes to the kitchen. Strawberries, which he had asked for. Bubble tea, two of them, and the one on the left is his order, the exact one, without him having to say it. Donuts in a box. Pastries. A paper bag that smells like something warm and savory. A container of something. Another bag.
Yushi looks at all of it.
This is Sion.
When words fell short, he came home with too much food. With bubble tea ordered exactly the way Yushi liked it because he had memorized it years ago without ever being asked. With strawberries because Yushi had said strawberries, and Sion had heard him.
Yushi picks up the bubble tea. And a donut. Without a word, Sion picks up the strawberries and takes them to the sink.
"Waaah! Dada, why is there so much food? Is it my birthday?" Saku asks excitedly.
"We have the same birthday though," Ryo points out.
"Then whose birthday?"
"No one is having a birthday. Pick what you want to eat," Sion says.
He sets the bowl of strawberries in front of Yushi. Yushi picks one up and eats it. Saku wastes no time and grabs a donut, then an entire bag of bread. Ryo takes his time, scanning the table before settling on a muffin and a few strawberries. They eat with obvious satisfaction, humming between bites.
"Daddy," Ryo says. "Did you eat?"
Sion blinks. "Oh... I'll eat right now, baby." He grabs a sandwich and takes a bite.
Yushi glances at him. As soon as Sion looks back, Yushi drops his gaze.
The kids drift back out of the kitchen, arms full of snacks, already arguing about something that has nothing to do with food. Their voices fade down the hallway.
Sion steps in behind him and wraps his arms around Yushi's waist with the ease of long habit. He lets his temple rest against Yushi's hair, close enough that they're almost cheek to cheek.
"Yushi, my love," Sion says softly.
Yushi picks up another strawberry.
"I'm sorry," Sion says. "I won't do that again."
"You should be," Yushi replies.
"Yes, love." He presses a kiss to Yushi's temple and lingers there.
Yushi picks up another strawberry. Almost without thinking, he leans back just enough for Sion to feel it. Sion's arms tighten around him, just enough.
Yushi picks up another and holds it up behind him. Sion leans in to eat it. After a beat, Yushi offers him another. Then another. Sion accepts each one before stealing a quick kiss to Yushi's cheek.
Sion gently turns Yushi to face him, his hands never leaving Yushi's waist. Yushi's arms slip around Sion's neck. For a while, they simply stare at each other. Yushi finds the same warmth in Sion's eyes that has always been there.
He leans in first.
The kiss is gentle, lingering long enough that it no longer feels like an apology or forgiveness, only two people who love each other choosing to stay close a little longer.
When they finally part, Yushi lingers close before burying his face against Sion's shoulder. Sion leans into him, drawing him even closer. They stay like that for a little longer, Sion holding him close and gently swaying them together.
A sound comes from down the hall. A thud. Then a smaller clatter. Then silence. The kind of silence that usually means two children are hoping nobody heard that.
Yushi pulls away from Sion. "What's that?"
A quick look down the hall tells them where it came from. The room where they keep their collections. Figurines. Albums. Merch. Several of Yushi's K-pop albums are scattered across the floor, some of their cases cracked. The shelves that usually hold them stand half-empty.
Ryo and Saku are standing in the middle of the room looking at everything except their parents.
"Kids." Sion keeps his voice even.
"Daddy, it's Saku—"
"What?! No! It's him—"
"You went there first and then you—"
"I was just looking and you pushed—"
"I didn't push, you leaned and—"
"Stop." Sion lifts a hand. "Let's clean up. Pick everything up, okay? Carefully."
Yushi doesn't say anything. He lets his eyes rest on the albums scattered across the floor before turning and walking out.
He goes to the living room and sits.
The house is quiet now except for the careful sounds of things being put back where they belong. Every so often, Sion's low voice carries from down the hall. The twins don't speak to each other.
It has been a very long day.
They come out eventually. Ryo first, then Saku half a step behind. Gone is the frantic arguing from before. They stop in front of Yushi with their eyes lowered, waiting.
Neither of them speaks.
Ryo's elbow nudges Saku's side. Saku nudges him back. A silent, urgent negotiation conducted entirely through elbows.
Ryo gives in. "Dada." He straightens. "I'm sorry. We were wrong."
"Dada, I'm sorry," Saku says immediately. "I just followed Ryo—" Ryo's elbow finds him again. "—ah... what we did was wrong, Dada. Sorry."
Yushi looks at both of them in turn. Ryo is holding himself very still, his lips pressed together as he tries not to cry. Saku stares at the floor, shoulders slumped, missing his usual chatter.
"I told you to be careful," Yushi says. He doesn't raise his voice. If anything, he sounds calmer than usual. "I told you not to touch my things."
Neither of them looks up.
"That room isn't a place to play." He pauses. "You have the whole house. You have the yard. You chose that room anyway."
"Sorry, Dada," Ryo says.
Yushi lets the silence stretch for a moment.
"No games for a month."
Saku's head jerks up. His mouth opens, the protest already forming. Then he sees Yushi's face. He closes it again.
"Yes, Dada," Ryo says. "Sorry again."
"Room. Now."
The twins leave without another word. Their footsteps fade down the hall.
Yushi goes to their room and sits on the edge of the bed.
Sion comes in soon after. He doesn't say anything. He sits beside Yushi, slips an arm around his shoulders, and cradles the back of his head with his other hand.
"Baby," he says softly.
Yushi leans into him. Only then the tears come. He buries his face in Sion's shoulder and cries without a sound. Sion only holds him closer, his hand moving slowly across Yushi's back before pressing a gentle kiss to his hair.
He doesn't try to make it better. He just stays.
Sion is the kind of man everyone deserves to be loved by.
He loves loudly, visibly, without ever worrying if it's too much. He says I love you the way other people say good morning. He kisses the boys before school even when they're already late. He reaches for Yushi's hand without thinking and pulls him close whenever he can.
He remembers things. Saku mentioned the aquarium once and found tickets a few weeks later. Ryo talks for twenty minutes about something Yushi barely understands while Sion listens like it's the most important conversation in the world. Coffee before difficult mornings. Dinners that fill the whole house with warmth.
He is their loudest supporter. He cheers too much at school events. He keeps every drawing the boys give him. He lets the twins climb all over him and never minds.
He is also the man who forgets to cook lunch. Who gets too competitive with eight-year-olds. Who throws himself so completely into loving his family that everything else sometimes slips his mind.
He is a lot.
He is also, in almost every way that matters, exactly what Yushi needs.
And the twins.
The first time Yushi held them, they weighed less together than Saku's school bag does now. He had been afraid to move too quickly, afraid to hold them too tightly, afraid that something so small could simply slip through his fingers.
Now they run into his arms after school as though they haven't seen him in years instead of hours.
They learned that from Sion.
Sion has always loved out loud, and somewhere along the way the boys learned to do the same. Saku launches himself into hugs without warning. Ryo reaches for Yushi's hand whenever he has the chance. They still climb into their parents' bed on weekend mornings. They still look for Yushi first when they have good news.
Yushi never asks them to.
He loves them in quieter ways. Waking them up for school every morning and helping them get ready. Making sure they leave the house clean, neat, and smelling nice. Cleaning them up after they come home covered in dirt from playing outside. Supporting every hobby they fall in love with. Driving across town for the plushie Saku has been wanting. Ordering the expensive LEGO set Ryo can't stop talking about.
They aren't perfect kids. Ryo, despite the perfect grades and careful manners, has a habit of setting things down wherever he happens to be and forgetting all about them. Saku fills every silence before it has the chance to exist. Sometimes Yushi is almost certain his own voice has gotten louder over the years simply because Saku started talking and never really stopped.
They are messy.
They are loud.
They are exhausting in ways Yushi never imagined before they were born. Nevertheless, he loves them with a certainty so complete that he never has to think about it.
The albums can be replaced. Even the ones that can't be replaced matter less than the thought of either of the boys getting hurt.
Maybe that was the thing about loving them. Every hurt they carried found its way into him too.
After a while, Yushi pulls back just enough to breathe. His eyes are still tired. His cheeks are still damp.
"Sion."
"Hm." Sion's hand keeps moving slowly through his hair.
"Was I too hard on them earlier?"
Sion doesn't answer immediately. He brushes a strand of hair away from Yushi's forehead before speaking.
"No," his voice remains soft. "You handled it well." He pauses. "They know you love them, baby. Right now, they're just… sad? because they know they made a mistake."
Yushi thinks about Ryo's too-bright eyes. Saku's trembling lower lip. The way they had stood in front of him with their hands behind their backs.
"I'm tired today," he says. It comes out smaller than he means it to.
Sion's arms tighten around him. "I know, baby." His voice is low, a little rough at the edges. "I'm sorry. We made it harder. All three of us." He pulls back slightly to look at Yushi's face. "I should've known better." He gives a small shake of his head. "You shouldn't have had to think about any of that today."
Meeting Sion's eyes, Yushi sees the guilt he wears as openly as his love. He lifts a hand and cups Sion's cheek. "I love you."
Sion smiles, small and warm. He covers Yushi's hand with his own and turns just enough to press a kiss into his palm.
"And I love you." His thumb brushes over Yushi's knuckles. "We love you. So much. Always."
Sion leans forward until their foreheads meet. Yushi closes his eyes, and Sion does the same.
The room falls still as Yushi breathes in slowly, then lets it out again. When he moves, it is only to wrap his arms around Sion properly and hold on. Sion gathers him close without hesitation, and Yushi lets himself sink into the embrace.
Slowly, the tightness in his chest begins to ease.
He must have drifted off without meaning to because when he opens his eyes, the room is darker, the house is calmer. He hears the soft sound of small feet stops just outside the door. A few hesitant knocks follow.
"Come in."
The door opens. Ryo and Saku step inside slowly, which is already unusual because Saku doesn't do anything slowly if he can help it. They stop at the edge of the bed, both with their hands behind their backs.
Yushi sits up.
Ryo brings his hands forward first. A folded piece of paper with something small resting on top of it. An origami flower, slightly lopsided, the petals not quite even but carefully folded. Saku follows. Another letter. Another flower, even more enthusiastically shaped than his brother's.
"Sorry, Dada," they say together this time, without elbowing each other.
Yushi looks at what they're holding. The uneven petals. The folded paper. Two pairs of eyes watching him with the hope of children who had worked hard on something and weren't sure if it would be enough.
His heart squeezes. "Babies." His voice breaks just a little. "Come here."
They don't hesitate. Yushi wraps his arms around both of them and holds on. They hug him back just as tightly.
"I love you two," Yushi says into their hair.
"I love you, Dada," Ryo says.
"I love you, Dada," Saku echoes.
Sion has been watching from the doorway. Eventually, he crosses the room and wraps his arms around all three of them.
"My babies," he murmurs, his voice warm with affection. Sion presses a kiss to the top of Saku's head, then Ryo's.
"I love you too."
"Daddy, you're squishing me."
Sion's arms tighten. "Good."
Yushi feels something warm settle in his chest. Nobody lets go.
They end up on the bed—all four of them. The origami flowers are on the nightstand. The letters are there too, smoothed flat after being read through damp eyes.
It is warm and a little crowded and Yushi's feet are being sat on by someone and he does not entirely mind.
"Love," he says after a while.
"Hm?"
"Have you seen my blue cardigan in the laundry?"
"What laundry?"
Yushi slowly turns his head.
Sion's head whips toward him. His mouth falls open.
Silence settles over the room.
"Oh Sion," Yushi's voice is calm enough to make people reconsider their life choices.
Ryo sits up immediately. "We're going to our room," he announces, already climbing off the bed.
"Huh?" Saku looks between his parents.
Ryo takes him by the arm and leads him firmly toward the door. Saku goes with him, still looking back over his shoulder like someone being escorted away from a situation he doesn't yet understand.
The door closes.
Sion turns to Yushi. Yushi meets his eyes.
Sion stands there like a man who has just remembered several things at once. He lets out a small, nervous laugh and scratches the back of his head.
"...Do you want strawberries?" Sion smiles sheepishly.
Yushi says nothing.
"...I..." Nothing comes to him. He rubs a hand over his face, and leaves without another word.
Yushi is left alone in the bedroom. He lets out a slow breath, which he has been doing a lot today.
I love him, he reminds himself. I love him. I love him. I love him. His eyes find one of their wedding photos. Sion is smiling so hard in it, his eyes nearly disappearing.
That is the problem. I am still deeply in love with this man.