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Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
Teo felt like a stranger in his own body. As soon as they reached the Sol temple, Sol priests took him away, stripped him of his clothes, not feeling the slightest bit self-conscious of his scars. The priests spoke excitedly, chattering away, preparing his regalia. He had become a puppet, dressed to look nice while he murdered a fellow semi-diose.
“She’s all I have! I told you-” Aurelio’s voice broke, as Teo’s heart cracked.
“I would’ve taken her place!”
“The trials don’t work like that,” Teo tried to explain, tears reaching his eyes.
The priests scrubbed him gently, and as they worked, Teo stared at the familiar murals, stopping at the last scene. Sol, laid dying as Tierra held them close, grieving the loss of his loved one. Sol shone in the sky, protecting the people of Reino del Sol with their warm rays, protecting them from the Obsidians. Just like every other sacrifice had. Just like Paloma had.
“You let her fall, knowing she would come in last!” Aurelio accused, still not looking at him.
Look at me. Please.
Teo flinched, his heart breaking. He knew that it was pointless. He should have defended himself. He didn’t.
None of them really had a choice in this, whether they turned out to be the Sunbearer or the Sacrifice, had they?
The Sol priests used fluffy towels to dry his skin, as he changed into his undergarments with numb fingers.
Huemac surprised him by coming in when he was getting ready to get dressed in regalia, the blue robes shining in a sea of white and gold.
Teo didn’t really listen to what Huemac was saying to convince the priests, just knowing that it must have worked to get them to leave. As the other priests filed out, Huemac helped Teo to change into his regalia, silence weighing over them like a balance being held by a silver knife. His limbs were impossibly heavy and difficult to move, but Huemac was patient with him, the feathered cape suffocating as Huemac draped it across his shoulders.
As Huemac made small adjustments, he explained to Teo how the sacrifice would work, as Teo swallowed the past the rising bile.
The trials were cruel. One made to slaughter for the sake of the entire city, and one made to die a quick death, not making past the age of twenty.
“Push your weight into the handle. Firmly, Teo.” Huemac retrieved the sunburst crown. “Release her quickly.”
Teo suddenly grabbed Huemac’s wrist. Not in angry, quiet rage. Sorrow, soft sadness. Regret. For the sin he was about to commit against himself. For the wellbeing of all of Reino del Sol.
“Not her-Auristela.”
Huemac’s old eyes dropped to the boy. He paused, the crown hovering over Teo’s head, his dark, tired eyes considering. He gave a small grim smile, brushing Teo’s curls. “Auristela,” he said, as he placed the crown on Teo’s head, the cool gold biting his scalp. Huemac’s hands held the boy’s shoulder.
“I don’t want this,” Teo choked out.
“I am so sorry Teo,” Huemac’s grip tightened, and Teo felt like sobbing. His heart was already in shambles, as his mind was fractured on following the sacrifice. He threw himself forward, holding Huemac like he was his last resort, clutching his robes like the last lifeboat, as he felt his body quake.
Huemac, slightly startled, wrapped his arms around Teo, as he held the quivering boy.
“I just want to go home,” his voice quivered. He wanted to leave all of what happened behind him. Leave the sacrifice for someone else to deal with. Forget about what he had faced. “I want this all to be over.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Every time.”
Aurelio….
“Soon,” Huemac said, trying to sound reassuring. But Teo knew it wasn’t true. He’d have to travel to all the other temples to bring them the new Sun Stones. And for that to happen, he’d have to end another human’s life.
How could the world be normal after that?
-
If being sacrificed is such an honour, why isn’t it the winner who gets killed?
-
Teo snapped out of his thoughts as he was presented to Diosa Luna, who brought him forward to where all the other competitors stood around the Sol stone, presented in their regalia, like their first night at Sol Temple.
Teo immediately sought out Aurelio, who stood rigid and still, hands locked behind his back, as his eyes looked blood-shot and puffy, his posture sagged like gravity itself were trying to crush him.
The sight of Aurelio crushed him.
As Diosa Luna presented him, his thoughts rushing past him, running at a hundred miles per hour, Auristela was presented, Fantasma standing dutifully at her side. Auristela looked every bit like the Gold she was supposed to be. The Hero she was meant to be, life in front of her. And Teo was about to snuff it out.
Teo felt like ashes beneath her feet, someone who the roles should have been switched with. Which goes against everything he had promised himself after he was selected. That he wouldn’t be the one to land on the table.
As she was laid down on the sacrificial stone, the table covered in orange marigold petals that smelled like sweet apple, adorned with golden skulls laying upon it sparked in the firelight, he was handed the obsidian sacrificial blade. The adornments and feather cloak weighed him down, making him feel heavy and tired.
If being sacrificed is such an honour, why isn’t it the winner who gets killed?
That was what he said, after all, isn’t it? As his hand slipped on the sacrificial blade, as Auristela had closed her eyes tightly, knuckles white and lips pressed into a thin line, waiting for the blade that Teo had to pierce her heart with. How could he do that to her?
How?
He gazed at Aurelio, staring steadfast, watching Teo and Auristela as others turned away. Diosa Lumbre lumbered over him, though he refused to cover his anguish.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
“That’s the fucked-up part, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“That someone still has to die.”
Niya stood there, lips thin, Xio twisting his bracelet. He glanced at his mother, who stood in the crowds. Would she ever forgive him? He doesn’t think so. He doesn’t think he could forgive himself for what he was about to do.
The Sun Stones flickered out, plunging the world into darkness, stars blazing overhead.
“Make the sacrifice, be the Sunbearer. Even if I wasn’t- even if I didn’t know the person who had to die. Even though it has to be done. I don’t know whether I could have taken someone’s life.”
Auristela had her whole life ahead of her. She was the one who deserved to live.
Maybe in the back of his mind, he always knew that.
Diosa Luna stood over him, urging him to complete the sacrifice.
He did it. Though he didn’t expect anyone to realize who he’d do it to.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Auristela’s eyes flew open.
Teo stabbed himself with the dagger, slightly missing his heart, hitting his sternum as he took a step back, stumbling and falling onto the sacrificial table. The cold slab hit his chest and pushed the dagger further, piercing his chest as his lungs throbbed, getting more difficult to breathe as he watched his Jade blood ooze out on the table.
There was an outcry he thinks blearily, the warmth of his blood soaking the regalia he donned. He wonders whether the next Sunbearer to wear the heavy crown would feel uncomfortable knowing Teo, who was never the sacrifice had died in the gold crown that was bestowed for honour.
He thinks he hears Auristela shuffling off, practically shouting at him for being the one who took the honour as the sacrifice, tears streaming off of her face, as he tries to concentrate on her. Why would she feel pity for him? He was honestly spiralling at this point.
“Teo? TEO! Stay awake, you asshole!” Auristela’s words rung through his head, getting lightheaded.
He felt a flurry of feathers and cold fingers tracing his face. Mom, he thinks, and with the smell of must and honey, Fantasma. The two dioses he was close with. Figures.
Teo feels soft tears drop onto his face, though he could feel them being wiped out. The world, he registers, was lit up again. He could see the sun rising again, feel the warmth of it on his face as he let out the small number of tears welling in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, mami,” he croaked, as she held him closer, brushing through his feathers.
“Oh, my Pajarito,” she sobs, and Teo wondered if she saw Paloma all over again, her son being the first Jade who won, but eventually lost him to this diose-forsaken trials by stupidly sacrificing himself. He hated to see his mother like that. He hated to remind her of all the bad things that happened.
Niya was next to him, red hot tears streaming down her face, her hands quivering.
“You stupid piece of shit,” she snivelled, eyes turning slightly red. “Why the hell would you do that? Where’s-”
“It’s too late Niya. I’m sorry,” he forced out, trying to give her a weak smile, but all he can feel is pain. Niya glared at him, unable to speak, looking between him and his mom as if she could do something. He knew mami couldn’t. No one could.
He thinks he’s starting to black out when he sees Aurelio appear, his warm hand holding Teo’s cooler one.
The Gold Semi-diose looked even worse for wear, though Teo doesn’t know why. Was it because he saved his sister’s life? Was it because that maybe he mourned for him? Mourned for the loss of their friendship that they had just rekindled, to be stomped down when Toe took his life? To what could have happened after? To unspoken feelings that could have become more?
“Please don’t go Teo,” Aurelio cries softly, as Teo wants to wipe the tears from his handsome face. Maybe the last thing he’ll ever see was Aurelio’s copper-brown eyes, as tears swirled down his face. “I- don’t go. Please. I wish we had- I love you, I don’t-” Teo interrupted him, smiling softly.
“As I love you, Relio. Don’t forget me.” Those were his final words, a final fucked up love confession from two boys who were too young to lose each other. He was happy with those last words. They were the truest things he could say to Aurelio.
Teo closed his eyes and took a final shaky breath.
It had worked.
His friends were safe.
His mom was safe.
Aurelio was safe.
He could let go now.
Everything went dark.
*
Aurelio stood at the front of the podium, watching with bleary eyes as the next Sunbearer competitors were chosen. He wanted to lunge out, to lash out at every diose who allowed the trials to continue like this, not searching for a solution to end all the pain and suffering.
Diosa Quetzal covered her eyes with her feathers. Aurelio couldn’t blame her. He had to be here. To offer comfort to the Diosa, like he had been doing the past decade. It was bittersweet, how the two comforted each other.
He spots Niya with Xio and Atzi, sitting tight lipped and quiet, Niya glaring and Xio… they were quiet. They had been dating Atzi for nearly five years now. He knew they were both happy. And all he ever wished for was happiness for them. But when he looked at how they both got together, the pain grappled at him all at once.
I love you, I don’t-
There was a short moment of silence as a child of Primavera was chosen, squealing in delight as she looked for her family. The goddess and her immortal daughters hugged each other. Xochi, on the other hand, makes eye contact with Aurelio, who just shakes his head. She wore her usual dress, along with a jadeite necklace with feathers carved into the necklace that looked oh so like Teo’s feathers were moving, they hurt.
Auristela stood beside him, his grounding force, as she stood tall. She wore a small pin, barely seen by the public, a jadeite feather of Teo. All of the competitors wore a piece of jadeite that had some semblance of Teo. Auristela wore it because he saved her.
As I love you Relio. Don’t forget me.
He clutched a pendent. Diosa Quetzal had given one of Teo’s feathers that had fallen out, along with one of his old bracelets. Those were his daily accessories now.
I never will.