Chapter Text
Noah hates reality shows.
Noah regrets his choice to join Total Drama. It was a dare from his youngest older sister, Navya. He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it if he said no and didn't have anything to do during the summer anyways. Definetely seemed better than being tormented by his 8 older sisters, who despite most of them being adults, do tend to visit during the summer.
What Noah regrets even more though is placing 20th, but officially second last on the show. He thought he'd coast through most of the competition just because of his intelligence, but he was humbled incredibly quickly. He knew his social skills were terrible, but he assumed it wouldn't be an issue. He guessed he should've expected most challenges to be physical, as the theme was summer camp. Still, at least he spent the summer at Playa Des Losers, where he found a lot of time to read and surprisingly, made some friends.
Eva and Izzy were probably the craziest girls on the show in Noah's eyes. One was a girl with anger issues with inhuman strength, the other was... Izzy. However, he found them fun to hang around with, especially Eva. They bonded over numerous things, but Eva appreciated him for how he treated her anger issues.
"So every therapist you've been to basically treats you like an animal?" Noah frowned.
"Yes! Thank you! About time someone else understands me! It's frustrating, i'm a human with feelings too!" Eva yelled.
"I think I have a general grasp on your situation. I suggest we have some 'sessions' together." Noah said while airquoting 'sessions.' "I'm no expert in psychology, but I think I should be able to help you with some exercises to calm you down."
"Really? You'd be willing to help me?" Eva's eyes widened.
"Sure. Don't expect this to be easy. You've grown up with this habit of lashing out at anything that doesn't go your way, and I don't mean in a spoiled way, but because you have no idea how to handle your emotions."
"No offense, but you don't really seem to be the kind of guy to help someone else willingly. What's the catch?"
"Fair point. I'll be completely honest, I don't know why I'm being so persistent with this. I guess I somewhat get where you're coming from."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know how to handle my emotions either. I just deal with it differently. I prefer to isolate myself and just sit in a corner."
"Yikes..." Eva winced.
"Yeah yeah, I'm a weirdo introvert, judge me all you want." Noah smirked.
"Well if you're offering.." Eva smirked back.
"You're insufferable."
It'd had been a few days since they started talking in Playa Des Losers, but they had gotten surprisingly close. On the other hand, his friendship with Izzy was simpler, yet orthodoxically more complex. When Noah had asked her why she hung out with him (Eva and Izzy got along due to them both being inhumanly strong and would challenge eachother constantly), she just said that she found him interesting.
'What the hell does she mean by interesting?' Noah thought. He was the third boot who's only moments were him making some snarky remarks, not participating in dodgeball and..... something completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Number one rule of Awakeathon: Don't talk about Awakeathon.
Izzy was an enigma that Noah couldn't even begin to decipher, but she was fun and caring in her own, Izzy way. She complimented his drowzy, lazy exterior. What shocked Noah though, was that sometimes she was extremely thought-provoking and intelligent, only for her to turn back into normal(?), crazy Izzy. It made Noah somewhat believe that it was possible for her to have an higher IQ than him. (Somewhat.)
Speaking of, Noah is freakishly intelligent. He knew it from an early age, as he hacked into the Kosmic Kaos server and made himself admin at age 8. He loves coding and is definetely considering finishing up CS. He still remembers his first reaction to opening up his first ever computer that his parents got him. He thanks them to this day.
However, despite his obviously bright future, Noah is infuriatingly lazy, never wanting to put in effort. That's one of his motives for joining this show other than being dared to, because of the easy money. Well, maybe easy isn't the correct word to use here. Still, that money would've let him relax while coding to his heart's content.
So when Chris announced the bonus challenge after the finale (which Owen agreed to) for the 1 million dollars, he decided to put in some kind of effort. He didn't think he was going to win, but might as well try, right? It's 1 million dollars. And then... his current problem arose from that day.
Everyone was chasing the suitcase only for it to fall from the dock into the water. So did a lot of the campers. Including him and Eva, as Izzy dragged them with her. And so, Chris announced a second season, with the players in the water being the cast.
Noah looked at the contract of the second season and sighed. It was movie themed, and the prize was well, 1 million dollars. However, if you lost, you wouldn't go to some cushy summer resort. No, you would instead join some "Aftermath" where you would be subject to more reality TV. Noah hated the idea of this. So he decided it would be best to (ugh), put in actual effort this time.
Noah still dislikes most of his fellow campers for the fact that they fell victim to Heather, who was obviously malicious. She pulled off the villain role well, but she was not subtle in the slightest. Noah would've pulled a lot of her moves in the background, he thought. His title is the Schemer afterall, so this time, he's going to stay true to it.
Going into this season, Noah is thankful for his horrendous gameplay last time for one reason. Everyone would underestimate him and/or ignore him. This would allow him to make many plays. Plays no one would suspect him for. Afterall, how could the lazy nerd who got eliminated third be any good at this game?
'Enough looking at the gameplan', Noah thought as he decided to finally awaken from his stupor and see what his fellow competitors are doing. He grimaced, remembering that they're on some sort of.. bus? If he can even call it that.
"Hey dude, you good?" Eva asked next to him, clearly freaked out at how long her friend has been looking at absolutely nothing, barely blinking.
"Oh yeah, just caught up in thinking. Did I miss anything important or..?" Noah replied.
"I mean.. if you consider all of this," Eva said as she pointed to all of her fellow contestants. "..interesting, then no."
"Noah-boa! You're finally awake!" Izzy jumped as she sat ontop of Eva.
"Uh, I wasn't sleeping."
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Did Eva tell you that my name's Kaleidoscope now?" Izz- Kaleidoscope smiled.
'You've mentioned this like 5 times, Izzy.' Noah thought, but sighed, knowing it was best to play along. "No, no she didn't. Pleased to meet you, Kaleidoscope." he deadpanned.
"Hahah, you always get me, Νoah! Don't worry, just call me E-scope for short. Just like our trio name! Team E-Scope!" Kaleidoscope chuckled as she hopped back to Owen. Noah grimaced. He didn't really like Owen. Sure, he was cheerful and nice, but he was also gluttonous and revolting. But he figured that if he got along with such a popular contestant that he'd be seen in a somewhat positive light.
Izzy's shenanigans caught the attention of a certain Goth, sitting in front of the cynic. "How come you guys are friends with Izzy? She doesn't really... seem to align with you two." Gwen asked as she faced them.
"You're friends with Leshawna, Horror Show. Don't recall a strong woman with a loud mouth being a goth's right hand man." Noah shot back, grinning.
"Touché." Gwen smirked as said loud mouth sitting next to Gwen overheard their conversation.
"What's that supposed to mean, Turkey?" Leshawna raised an eyebrow. Noah's eye twitched at the little 'nickname" she had for him.
"It was meant as a compliment, hence why I said you were 'strong'." He replied. Leshawna seemed pleased with his answer.
Noah really didn't like Leshawna. He found her annoying and he hated the nicknames she'd call him. But hey, she faced Heather a lot of times, so that's points for her.
On the other hand, Noah liked talking with Gwen. They had a lot in common and they both enjoyed snarking with eachother. Despite them having only really interacted 4 days, (Noah still hates the fact that they got dragged into this season 2 days after the finale special) they clicked fast.
"No wonder you didn't want to participate in Dodgeball, you are laughably weak." Gwen chuckled as she wanted to see how Noah would fare at armwrestling.
"I still don't know why I agreed to do this with you. This was obviously an excuse to make fun of me." Noah gasped as he was trying to pull down Gwen's hand with both of his. Gwen just started laughing. Noah just gave up and laughed with her.
"Really hoping we do better this time around." Eva sighed.
"We'll be fine, we learnt from our mistakes, right?" Noah smiled. "Besides, I think most of the people here have their eyes on someone else." He added while looking at Heather's way.
"You're right. She's gonna pay for taking my MP3 player." Eva growled, scaring some of the surrounding contestants.
"Woah there, Iron Woman. Deep breaths, calm down." Noah said as Eva followed his suggested and sighed.
"Thanks." Eva smiled as a laugh was heard a bit away.
"Seriously? The scrawny nerdling is the one who can tame the bull!?" Duncan laughed.
"Hey dude, that's not nice, they seem to be good friends." DJ frowned, sitting next to the green-haired punk.
Okay, if he's able to, Noah's eliminating Duncan first.
The Raven Haired Romantic sitting opposite to Noah spoke up. "Ignore him, dude. He's the one who got eliminated for his attitude." Trent tried to comfort Noah, who sighed and nodded.
Noah tolerated Trent. He wouldn't say he was an friend, hell maybe not even an acquaintance, but he didnt irritate Noah and that was enough. Oh yeah he's still planning on eliminating Duncan first.
"Technically speaking, I was eliminated for my attitude too." Noah pointed out, which made Trent pause.
"Huh, you're right on that one."
"Wouldn't have happened if you weren't so weak." Eva scoffed. "If we're on the same team, I'm making sure you don't skip out on any physical challenge."
"Gee, can't wait." Noah grimaced. Exercise would definetely be Noah's weakness, and he would really need to step up his social game if he wanted to make up for it. So it means he needed to pretend to be 'nice' and 'understanding', something that proved mentally taxing if it wasn't with people he actually liked. This was going to be hell.
Speaking of hell, that's when Noah noticed out of his window a certain smiling host. Chris was a dorky jerk, and Noah really hopes it stays that way. He's seen reality TV hosts become crazier. (Okay, he hated being in reality TV, doesn't mean he can't watch others participate.) Noah sighed as the bus door opened and contestants started to exit. Heather and Gwen bumped into eachother.
"Step off!" Heather said angrily.
"You step off!" Gwen replied as the two scowled at each other. Noah just looked at Eva, who nodded and shoved them to the side as she got off, making Gwen bump into Harold, causing him to drop his Rubiks Cube and bump into Leshawna.
"Ow! Sorry, Leshawna." Harold said.
"No harm done." Leshawna said, as the bus left and the rest of the campers dropped off.
"Where is everybody?" Leshawna asked.
"Uh, maybe we got off on the wrong stop?" Gwen shrugged.
"That broken down bus only had one stop." Justin replied. Oh boy. From all the contestants, nobody came close to how much Noah despised him. He was pretty much the 'Anti-Me', as he described once. Stupid, pretty and lazy. Irritably stupid, though. Noah was pretty sure he liked both men and women, but he despised even the thought of being attracted to Justin... did Noah mention he wants to eliminate Duncan first?
"I'm not hanging around here." Heather said.
"You’re gonna give up the chance at a million big ones? That’s a lot of hair weaves." Leshawna said.
"…I guess I can stay for a bit." Heather said as she put her wig on.
"Face it, the money’s the reason we all put up with Chris." Beth said on a far clearer voice than ever before.
"Yo, Beth, you got your braces off! Nice!" Trent smiled.
"Hot as ever." Justin said coyly before Leshawna pulled him away.
"You look fi-i-ine, girl!" she said.
"You really do!" Gwen added.
"You are totally on the way to looking the part of my new BFF! That’s my new Best French Friend! I am so moving to France if I win!" Lindsay said.
"My mom said my world would totally open up one I got my braces off! She was right! I’m going to France!" Beth said as she and Lindsay cheered. Noah scrunched his nose. He hates loud noise. He doesn't really care about Beth and Lindsay, but their constant cheering and screeching makes his ears bleed.
Just then, Chris pulled up in a tram.
"Dude, it’s about time!" Duncan said as everyone boarded.
"Hop on, everyone! C’mon people, sheesh! We haven’t got all day, this car is rented by the hour!" Chris said.
Once everybody got on, Owen looked around and noticed someone was missing, so he called back. "Izzy! Run!"
E-Scope just stood there whistling.
"Owen means Kaleidoscope!" Noah yelled.
"Nobody leaves E-Scope behind!" she said before beating her chest and doing some acrobatics to land on the tram.
"Psh, I could do that." Eva grinned at E-Scope.
"I bet you could." E-Scope giggled. Noah smiled at his friends' antics, only for said smile to fade when Owen spoke up.
"Thanks for the save, little buddy." Owen smiled. Why did Owen insist on giving him that nickname? They aren't even friends. Maybe he trusts him because he's friends with Izzy and Eva. This could work in Noah's favor.
"Don't mention it."
"Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action! This season’s hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot!" Chris said.
"Does this mean we’re gonna be in the movies?" Lindsay asked excitedly.
"No, it means you’re gonna be on TV. And don’t interrupt me. E-ver!"
"Oops, sorry."
"You’ll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges and for rewards, all for the chance to win some monster cash!"
"Aww, yeah, baby! I’m gonna win me some moolah!" Owen said.
Doubtful.
"Shush!" Chris replied. Owen made a motion to zip his lips. "Like last season, one team will win, and the other team will watch one of their own take the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-O-Sine."
Chris put up the windows on his part of the tram as they pass a run down limousine that was spouting gas, making the cast cough.
"Couldn’t you have gotten us a better ride?" Noah asked.
"No. Now, since we don’t have the Outhouse to dump your deepest, darkest secrets in, you’ll dish the dirt in our new makeup confessional!"
-Confessional: Lindsay-
"Oh my gosh, a whole trailer full of makeup!?” a hand reached over and handed her some lipstick.
"Oh, sorry, I don’t use that brand."
"On your left is the Crafts Services Tent, catered of course by Chef." Chris said as Chef chased a raccoon outside of the tent.
"If you survive Chef, you’ll have to make it though our dramatic awards ceremony, where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award." Chris said as he passed by a giant awards stage.
-Confessional: Gwen-
“The Gilded Chris? What a narcissist! Don’t get me wrong, I still want one.”
"You done now, dude?" Geoff asked.
"I have an eject button. And I’ll use it." Chris replied.
"Please, continue."
"Woah! Cool! Is this a dream?" Harold asked as they pass through a space movie set.
No Harold, it is not. But you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie, until the star began experiencing some, uh, difficulties." Chris said. Noah really hoped no one would humor him with a question.
"Oh no! Did she have like, a mental breakdown?" Lindsay asked. Noah sighed. Of course.
"Actually, the star wasn’t a her. It was a giant animatronic monster!" Chris said as the camera showed several bite marks in buildings.
"What happened to it?" Gwen asked. Noah just stared at her, dumbfounded. Gwen looked back at him, eyes slowly widening in realization.
-Confessional: Gwen-
"In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have asked that question."
"C’mon dudes, he’s yanking our chains!" Duncan said.
"If this really happened, we would know about it." Eva added, as a roar was heard. Just then, a giant tail struck down a telephone pole and blocked their path.
"Woah!" Trent said.
"Dude!" Geoff said.
DJ just screamed.
Everyone looked out the damage as Chris spoke up again. "Since we’re on a film lot, this season’s challenges will be based of movie genres. Today’s genre? The monster movie!" Chris laughed as the monster roared. As it walked past them, DJ fainted in fear.
"Down for the count. For your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailer while our state of the art monster prevents your every move. Chef has kindly offered to control the beast." Chris said as the camera showed Chef in a mocap suit. "And… action!"
Nobody responded.
"Uh, that means go." Chris said as everyone began fighting to get out of the tram, with Harold even getting thrown out of the back. "This is gonna be a long season."
Cut to everyone running together through a beach movie set as the monster chased them.
"Woah, baby! Did you see that!? That thing is so cool!" Owen said.
"Don't think it will be 'cool' when it crushes us!" Noah yelled.
Cut back to Chris and DJ, who the latter had finally woken up. "I can almost hear your sweet lullabies, momma." He said as Chris patted him on the head.
Cut back to Owen, Noah, and Eva, who saw the monster’s hand about to grab E-Scope as Eva yelled. "E-scope! Duck! Duck!"
E-Scope laughed and said. "Goose!” before getting launched by the monster into a crane.
"Do it again!" E-Scope yelled, only for the monster to grab her and take her away, dropping her into a bouncy castle by the cast trailers while she laughed. Noah sighed. She's gonna be an insane wildcard to deal with. He's not sure if he can keep her safe for long.
-Confessional: Owen-
"Maybe the monster won’t look for me in here. I love E-Scope. N-not like love love, but I think she’s amazing! I just wished she’d notice me and not that dumb monster. How can I compete with it!? Sure, we’re both big and we both eat a lot, but it’s really tall."
Cut to Geoff and Bridgette making out under a beach umbrella as Gwen and Trent ran past them.
"How are we supposed to find the actor’s trailers anyway?" Gwen asked.
"Follow the good looking people!" Justin said as he ran past them.
"Yeah, follow Justin!" Beth said as she ran by.
"Uh, I don’t think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind!" Duncan said as he ran past Geoff and Bridgette making out to join up with Trent and Gwen.
-Confessional: Bridgette-
"What was I thinking? Duncan is so right. I like Geoff, but, hello, I’d also like a million bucks!"
-Confessional: Geoff-
"Duncan’s right. It’s fine to get our heads in the game! Booyah!"
Cut to Gwen, Trent and Duncan running through a city set. "This challenge isn’t so bad! No explosions, no burning buildings, no bears!" Gwen said.
"Maybe it's not in the budget!" Trent responded. Just then, they looked over and saw a building explode. And then another one burnt down. And a bear was inside it. The bear roared and chased the trio.
Cut to Chris and Chef watching from a tent. "I thought the bear was tranquilized and returned to its handler?” Chris said.
"Had one day left on its contract." Chef replied.
"Nice."
-Confessional: Geoff & Bridgette-
They started making out in the confessional again as the Monster grabbed them both with one hand.
"This is it! The end!" Bridgette yelled.
"As long as we’re together, baby!" Geoff said.
"I love you!" Bridgette yelled as they were dropped into the bouncy castle.
"I love you too!"
Cut to Leshawna running before noticing Harold crouched under an umbrella. "C’mon, Stringbean! I hope you can run, we’ve still got a challenge to win!"
"If I wanted to, I could run as fast a prong-horned antelope. It’s the fastest land mammal after the cheetah." Harold said before the duo were blown back by the monster roaring and then picked up.
"Easy now! This booty is breakable!" Leshawna said before they were dropped into the bouncy castle.
"I love you!" Harold said.
"Say what now?"
Cut to Gwen and Trent running together, before seeing the monster and turning around. Justin ran past them and did not turn around, and was immediately picked up by the monster. The monster looked him in the eye.
"Yo." Justin said as the monster’s pupil dilated.
"What can I say, dude’s hot." Chef said in the tent.
-Confessional: Justin-
"I’m not just another face. And abs. And butt. And shoulders. Okay, I’m also a master strategist. This time, I’m in it to win it."
The monster gently placed Justin into the bouncy castle.
"What are you all staring at?"
"You!" everyone but E-Scope replied, as she was too busy jumping around.
"Oh.... right."
Cut to Noah and Eva in a western movie set.
"Okay, why did we leave Owen behind?" Eva asked.
"Can I be honest?" Noah looked at his friend.
"Yeah dude, always."
"I don't really like him." Noah gulped. Eva just stared at Noah before shrugging.
"Alright."
"That's it? No judging?"
"Yeah, it's cool. I get it, you don't like many people. Though, Owen's really nice and annoyingly lovable. I think he'll grow on you." Eva smirked.
"Pfft, like that would ever happen." Noah said before pausing. He just realized he didn't ask Eva if they were in an alliance. I mean, he thinks it's obvious, but you just have to be sure. "Hey, we're in an alliance, right?"
"Yeah, of course." Noah sighed in relief. Good.
Cut to Heather running through the streets as the monster roared.
"You tell her, we don’t like her!" Lindsay said from nearby.
The monster then picked up her and Heather.
"I’ll miss you Lindsay!" Beth yelled from the bush as Lindsay waved to her.
They were then dropped into the bouncy castle. "Excuse me! I think you forgot something!" Heather said. The monster then placed the wig onto her head. "That’s better!"
Cut to Gwen, Trent, DJ and Beth all running together through the streets while screaming. The monster approached them as Trent said: "Everyone, follow me!"
-Confessional: Gwen-
"That’s what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He’s always thinking of others. It’s one of the things I love about him."
DJ was hesitant to move, but Trent grabbed him. "It’s okay, big guy. I’ve got you."
They ran into the nearest building, …only to realize it was made of cardboard. "You mean everything around here is fake!?" Trent asked in shock.
-Confessional: Gwen-
"That, and Trent’s exceptional powers of observation."
They yelled as the monster reached down and picked up all four of them.
"I’m coming, Lindsay!" Beth yelled as they were dropped into the bouncy castle.
"I'm here for you, babe!" Trent said as they were dropped. Behind a cardboard cutout of a car next to where they were just captured, Duncan popped out and laughed. "Losers!"
"Boy, I'm sure glad we're not them!" Owen said as the monster tapped on Duncan's shoulder and roared at them.
"I'm gonna die!" Owen yelled as he crouched down while Duncan ran.
After an undisclosed amount of time, Owen popped up from behind the car again. "I'm okay! Time to find those cast trailers!"
Ten seconds after beginning to run, Owen started wheezing. "Can’t… run… any… more…" he then collapsed. The monster looked down at him.
"Take me! I surrender!"
"Kid really needs to lay off those cheese puffs." Chef said from the tent.
The monster picked up Owen, but couldn’t lift him before it short circuited.
"Huh?"
-Confessional: Owen-
"Boy, am I ever glad I didn’t go on that diet! Being big can really have its advantages! Y’know, like, uh, when you’re trying not to, uh… be captured by an animatronic monster, for example. That’s just off the top of my head."
The monster kept trying to lift Owen, but eventually
fully short circuited and dropped him.
"Yes! I’m too heavy! Ha! I win! I win!" Owen said.
"Not yet, Owen, my man. You still have to find the trailers." Chris told him.
"Aw, man." Owen said.
"Strategy wise, we're not looking too great. We're total outcasts." Noah said as he and Eva were running. Surprisingly, he is somewhat keeping a steady pace with her.
"Who cares? I'll just carry you to the end!" Eva grinned.
"You see, that's an issue. You can't just dominate the entire game. Once the merge hits and you don't have immunity, you're first on everybody's list." Noah pointed out.
"Won't be a problem if I keep winning every challenge."
"That's statistically impossible. Not every merge challenge is physical. You can't be sure anyways because this is an entire new theme!"
Eva sighed. "....Alright, you have a point, I guess. What do you suggest we do?"
"Alliances with people who are desperate, probably." Noah grimaced as Eva glared at him.
"I don't like where you're taking this."
"So... is Heather out of the qu-"
"She is NOT just out of the question! She will be out of the GAME once i'm through with her!" Eva yelled. Noah sighed. He really didn't want to go behind his friend's backs during this. He wanted to avoid it as much as possible. But it might happen if Eva doesn't budge. It's just a game. It's just a game.
"Let's just find the trailers." Noah suggested, in an attempt to change the subject. However, just then the Monster appeared before Eva, grabbing her.
"Shit!" Eva swore, trying to get out of the Monster's grip, to no avail. "Run, shrimp!"
On cue, Noah started running as fast as he could.
....For approximately 5 seconds, as the Monster caught him with its other hand.
"You suck." Eva stated bluntly.
"Bite me."
Cut to the next morning. Everyone was sleeping, when Chris played an alarm sound over the megaphone, causing them all to groan. Just then, Owen walked over, still wheezing, and fell over next to the rest of the campers, popping the bouncy castle with a needle he had in his pocket.
"Why didn't we think to do that last night?" Bridgette wondered out loud.
"It took you ten and a half hours to walk three city blocks!?" Eva said in shock, switching her attention to Owen.
"That’s just sad, man." DJ added.
"Wait, where’s Izzy?" Leshawna asked.
Just then, the monster walked over and accidentally
stepped on one of the trailers before lowering down E-Scope.
"No thanks, buddy! Good luck with trying to convince someone to agree to your craziness!" E-Scope yelled.
"How did you manage to escape?" Noah asked.
"The monster wanted to talk some kind of crazy strategy with me, but I refused." E-Scope replied.
-Confessional: Kaleidoscope-
"Haha, like I'd ever accept Chef's cuckoo deal! We're rivals, silly!" E-Scope chuckled.
Chris walked out of the other trailer. "Woah, am I ever glad I chose to wait in that trailer. It looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warm up, good news is, your next challenge will be a reward!"
Everyone cheered at that. Noah was just glad he wouldn't be booted in the first episode, because he definetely had a few nightmares about that.
"It’ll be the guys against the girls, with the winner getting first pick of the trailers, where you’ll be living for the next 42 days! You will have your choice of trailer A, or trailer… yeesh. Off to the Craft Services tent!" Chris said.
"Aw, yeah, baby! I’m starving!" Owen cheered.
-Confessional: Owen-
"My mom says I eat when I’m upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, or avuncular. Heh, avuncular."
Cut to the craft services tent, where a giant buffet sat on the table, “Wahoo! This is awesome!” Owen yelled out.
"Dude, this chow looks like something out a commercial!" Geoff said.
"Ooh, can I star?" Lindsay asked.
"Let’s get this speed-eating contest started! On your marks, get set, come to papa!" Owen yelled.
"No, wait!" Chris said, but it as too late, as Owen had already begun devouring everything while everyone just looked on in concern.
Cut to after Owen had already eaten everything and was lying in pain on the table. "Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?" Chris asked.
"The turkey was a bit… dry." he said after belching.
"Not surprising, since the food was fake."
"Fake!?"
"Yup! Just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust, and wax. It wasn’t a speed eating contest, it was a contest to find the key."
"What key?" Owen asked before burping up the key. "Oh, you mean this key?"
"That’d be the one."
"Does this mean I win?"
"Yes, yes it does."
"Alright!"
-Confessional: Noah-
Noah looked around, realizing that this is his first ever confessional on Total Drama. Well, aside from the one in 'Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island'. He doesn't really think it counts.
"Okay, that was.. impressive. Owen ate all of that food when it was fake and barely noticed. Perhaps his appetite can be used to my advantage in the future." Noah hummed.
-Confessional: Geoff-
"Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was just some party dude, but he’s really a stand-up guy! Party on!"
-Confessional: Harold-
"I could’ve done that, y’know. I just wasn’t hungry."
-Confessional: Leshawna-
"You know what that boy has? Guts. Guts full of foam core and rubber, but guts just the same."
Cut to Chef putting some medicine into a glass of water and handing it to Owen. "Ah, don’t worry! I’m cool! My mom says I’ve got a gut like a goat!" Owen said before hearing a bubbling sound from his stomach. "Nope, call 911."
Chris laughed. "You’re gonna need it. Since you’re the winner, you get first pick of the trailers." Chris said as the guys cheered.
Cut to everyone standing outside of the trailers, where Owen said. "I choose… the squashed one!"
The boys groaned in shock. Noah was seriously considering switching his first boot being Duncan. No. No he wasn't.
"What? It has more character!" Owen defended as the girls cheered before the monster stepped onto the other trailer too, causing them to groan too while Chris and Chef laughed.
Cut to night, where Chef had just finished fixing the trailers as Chris said. "Okay, everyone! Get a good night’s sleep because you’ve got a seriously early wake up call! Call time is 6am! Sleep quickly!"
Cut to the guys trailer.
"I’ll take the top!" Harold said.
"I’ve got bottom!" Geoff said.
Noah sighed as he looked at Owen. "Owen, I’m taking the top. Theres no way can you have it." he said.
"Makes sense." Owen shrugged.
"Yeah, that’s the stuff!" Duncan smirked as he relaxed in the bunk below Justin.
Cut to the girl’s trailer, where Heather said. "I need to sleep on the east side so my head will be closer to the ocean!"
"That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! We’re in Toronto! We’re nowhere near the ocean!" Leshawna scowled.
"Then maybe I don’t wanna lay my pretty head near this big-butted, loud mouthed, mall-shopping-"
"And maybe I don’t wanna sleep near this two-faced, bossy, little Stringbean of a prom queen!"
"Girls! You heard Chris, we need to be on set by 6am!" Bridgette said.
"What, are you worried we’re gonna cut into your early morning make out session?" Eva asked.
"Yes, kind of. Gwen, sleep below Heather."
"No way." she replied.
"Heather’s meanness might leech down while I’m sleeping!" Lindsay said.
"Is meanness contagious!?" Beth asked worriedly.
"Totally!" Lindsay added. "Besides, I'm bunking with my new BFF! My Best Friend Forever!"
"Awww!"
"Let’s just draw straws." Bridgette suggested.
"Who’s got straws?" Leshawna asked.
"We can use makeup brushes instead!" Lindsay said.
"That's actually a good idea." Gwen smiled.
"Okay, longest brushes get the top. Shortest ones get the bottom. Shortest of all gets to sleep with Heather!"
Everyone pulled their brushes. "Yes! Top bunk!" Lindsay said.
"I got bottom! I call Lindsay!" Beth said.
“I call Beth right back!"
"I got bottom. Gwen?" Bridgette asked.
"I got top. Sure." Gwen replied.
"I got bottom!" Leshawna said.
"I'm a top!" E-Scope said. Wait....What?
"You mean..." Eva said as she glared at Heather, who gulped.
"Uh, no hard feelings?" Heather said sheepishly, while her hands were raised up defensively. Every other girl looked at the two, ready to see Heather getting beat up.
Eva sighed. "Don't try any funny business and we're cool. Cool-ish, I guess." she said as she glared at Heather. Heather was surprised, to say the least. The rest of the girls sighed, kind of wanting to see Heather getting beaten up.
-Confessional: Heather-
"Guess Eva isn't just a raging psychobeast. In Duncan's words, did that know-it-all really calm her down?" Heather hummed.
-Confessional: Eva-
"Noah's right. I need to lay low and let my.. negative feelings for Heather aside. Deep breaths." Eva breathed in and out.
Noah sighed, as he was looking at the ceiling of the trailer. He really doesn't know how to feel. He's curious to see how the next challenge will go, and how the teams will look like. The dream is to be in the same team with Eva and Izzy, but he knows that's an utopian reality.
While getting ready for season 2, he felt like he had everything all figured out. But now, it's just the first challenge and he feels like he lost all his confidence. It's okay, it'll be fine. He has a plan. He has it allll figured out.
After debating his inner monologue for like 5 minutes, he finally decides to give in and go to sleep. Strategy will come naturally as the game plays out. Now, it's time to hopefully catch some z's. Noah slowly drifted off to sleep.
Cut to 5am the next morning. "Shush! They’re sleeping!” Chris said. He then pulled out a megaphone.
"This is your 5am wake-up call!” Chris yelled, much to everyone’s shock and annoyance. "Ha! I’m only kidding, you can sleep. For now."
Noah jumped at this. He sighed.
Noah hates reality shows.